What can brown do for you?

Craig then got on his knees, put his hands on the baby's head and with a push from Lisa, the infant slid into her father's arms. The birth happened so quickly there was no time even to turn the lights on.

Scary and amazing. If only all deliveries could be this easy and convenient.

I saw a movie where a UPS driver conceives a baby with his package.

Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?

(insert comment about a hotdog and a hallway here)

He delivered a baby on top of a package?

lordaction: Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?

I'm guessing a contraction, pushing and gravity were factors

lordaction: Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?


You don't know much about how women delivered babies before the advent of modern medicine, do you?

mmm... pancake: He delivered a baby on top of a package?

/gigglesnort

I can prove that, on top of making messes, I'm also pretty good at making babies. My package, let me show you it.

Did he make her sign for it when the delivery was completed?

ha. was going to say something stupid like "he's mexican" then see it's a ramirez.

/i'm stupid. i know.

If they went with the brown from the start, there would be no baby to begin with

Then he took the baby away, and left it uncovered on a porch during a rainstorm.

I guess that's what happens after 4 kids.

What his vehicle may have looked like:

LINK (new window)


I imagine she had one of these

NSFW

suckerpunch: I call shenanigans. If it was an UPS driver, he would have thrown the baby on the porch from 10 feet away.

One gets the sense that UPS has a PR problem, especially when it comes to lazy-ass "drive-by package delivery."

tortilla burger: If they went with the brown from the start, there would be no baby to begin with

A golf clap to you, Sir.

I'm sure he pulled the baby right out of the box.

Oblig when any UPS or Fed Ex story comes up

He'll be fired before the week is over.

suckerpunch: I call shenanigans. If it was an UPS driver, he would have thrown the baby on the porch from 10 feet away.

You should see what goes on in the hubs...

KWPLunchbox: He'll be fired before the week is over.

Wouldnt count it out.


/work there
//kick

Coco LaFemme
lordaction: Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?


You don't know much about how women delivered babies before the advent of modern medicine, do you?

A good deal easier than laying on one's back and going against gravity.

So the news in this story really is that there's a UPS guy that's good at delivering packages for once?

lordaction: Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?

she was kicking it (out) Old School.

Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.

/he fixes the cable? delivers the package?

Just goes to show you, you handle enough packages and eventually you'll get a baby.

Quasar665: Coco LaFemme
lordaction: Am I the only one wondering the state of this woman's vagina that could enable an infant to fall out while standing?


You don't know much about how women delivered babies before the advent of modern medicine, do you?

A good deal easier than laying on one's back and going against gravity.

And then when you are done, you can wipe the shiat off with your hand and clean yourself up.

Obligatory pic for any UPS thread...

wow, a story about my home town. cool!

So, this is where babby come from?
They get delivered by UPS?
No large storks or cabbages involved?
/never believed the whole storks/cabbages theory.

suckerpunch: I call shenanigans. If it was an UPS driver, he would have thrown the baby on the porch from 10 feet away.


10ft? Pfft, amateurs.
Link (new window)
Yes, its a liveleak video, but it's SFW

NoblePatrick: Obligatory pic for any UPS thread...




Your girl is hotter though.
/swiped from photoshop contest

You know, I'm not a doctor and I've delivered 3 babies and a fourth some time in the next 4 weeks. It's not that hard. One of the books on emergency child birth that I read, which was written by an OBGYN with over 50 years of experience, summed it up like this: "Delivering babies can be done by any reasonably competent 7 year old." And I'd have to say that my experience has shown that to be the case.

NoblePatrick: Obligatory pic for any UPS thread...

Must... fight... urge... to... make... crude... comment...

Ah, to hell with it...

She could deliver my babies any day.

re: GodBlessTexas

lemme guess, last name Sanchez?

Don't forget "Obama eats a chili dog" on the right side of the screen.

GodBlessTexas: You know, I'm not a doctor and I've delivered 3 babies and a fourth some time in the next 4 weeks. It's not that hard. One of the books on emergency child birth that I read, which was written by an OBGYN with over 50 years of experience, summed it up like this: "Delivering babies can be done by any reasonably competent 7 year old." And I'd have to say that my experience has shown that to be the case.

Fits right in with the "Entertainment Tonight" way of thinking and their dubbing every "above average deed" of the day with the hero status. I'm not even sure that the average Joe knows what a true hero looks like aside from their misconceived notions they receive from TV. The word is thrown out there so often that people have a skewed view of what it means to be truly selfless.

"We are formed and molded by our thoughts. Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them." --Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

UPS driver proves that on top of packages, he's also pretty good at delivering a baby babby

FTFY

/pet peeve

the UPS driver was STORKING her

John Buck 41
Getting a kick out of all the UPS hate. (No, I don't work there.) With all the alternatives, if they're as bad as some here say, how is it they are doing so well? Strange.

UPS is kinda like the American government. It sucks horribly, but all the other alternatives are much, much worse.

"Pick that up for me, would you Deirdre?"