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(AP)   Forget norovirus. Lately, cruise ships seem to have a new problem - people mysteriously falling overboard   ( hosted.ap.org) divider line
    More: Scary  
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7298 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2009 at 2:01 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-01-17 12:15:38 AM  
It's the economy stupid.
 
2009-01-17 01:54:22 AM  
I blame pancakes.
 
2009-01-17 02:02:46 AM  
Did the headline just change?
 
2009-01-17 02:02:53 AM  
WTF? I just saw this link on the main page with a different headline...
 
2009-01-17 02:06:05 AM  
The wind on the deck probably picked them up and blew them into the ocean like a fallen leaf.
 
2009-01-17 02:06:13 AM  
Name your six favorite things to jam up your ass.
 
2009-01-17 02:06:51 AM  
This isn't something that is particularly new, people get drunk and go over the rail at night more often then the cruise lines will ever admit.
 
2009-01-17 02:06:59 AM  
Young, white, photogenic? *Checks article* wait a minute its probably at most one of the above, what gives?!

Oh bonus points for not releasing the names and home towns of people you're looking for when trying to find them...morons.

Balcony door unlocked, room door double locked from the inside? I'll be taking bets shortly on whether or not they have a mortgage, stock portfolio and/or business that needed bailing out.

/preferred the first headline this story arrived as
 
2009-01-17 02:07:15 AM  
Wait, this is not the headline I signed up for when I made the witty comment!
 
2009-01-17 02:08:18 AM  
Well if Colombo was on the boat, we'd have an explanation.
 
2009-01-17 02:09:07 AM  
I have a theory. . .

img.youtube.com

/maybe be a bit warm
 
2009-01-17 02:09:33 AM  
I'd check Gopher's alibi.
 
2009-01-17 02:10:03 AM  
Well if people would quit trying to recreate this:www.withfriendship.com

We wouldn't have a problem. This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2009-01-17 02:10:32 AM  
Oooh, the first version of that headline squeaked through for just a minute.

Good job subby! That would have at least earned a nastygram from Those That Shall Not Be Named.
 
2009-01-17 02:12:01 AM  
But where were they going without ever knowing the way?
 
2009-01-17 02:14:25 AM  
i2.cdn.turner.com

In retrospect, this would have been way smarter than the whole plane crash thing. There's not even any reason to go looking for someone lost overboard at sea without a life vest.

Hmmm... you'd need to toss an inflatable raft kit overboard at night, jump after it, then... I guess you need someone to pick you up, because if it's really near shore they'll search and ask around. You'd need a place to stash it, and oars, where it would not only not arouse suspicion before but afterwards, during the investigation. In a liferaft, under the cover.

Maybe pick a departure point where the current would take you swiftly back to land? But again, if that's possible, they'll search and find you UNLESS they have a wide window of uncertainty as to when you were lost overboard. If you can manage not to be noticed missing for a day or two you could be clear.

Then again if you're running from the law but on a cruise, just get off in a port with no extradition treaty and don't come back.
 
2009-01-17 02:16:47 AM  
i384.photobucket.com
?
 
2009-01-17 02:17:33 AM  

Pirates? I heard on FARK that the increase in pirates correlate with global warming temperatures.

tbn0.google.com

 
2009-01-17 02:21:50 AM  
I've been on 5 cruises in the past 4 years; all with balcony access. In order to fall off one of these boats someone would have to be going full retard.
 
2009-01-17 02:22:02 AM  
www.impawards.com
 
2009-01-17 02:26:05 AM  
Why is this opening in an new window.
 
2009-01-17 02:27:22 AM  
EdNortonsTwin
I've been on 5 cruises in the past 4 years; all with balcony access. In order to fall off one of these boats someone would have to be going full retard.

Or pushed, murder is hard to prove this way.
 
2009-01-17 02:27:26 AM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2009-01-17 02:31:16 AM  

andrew131: Why is this opening in an new window.


Because you touch yourself at night.
 
2009-01-17 02:31:32 AM  
outsidetheboxuk.files.wordpress.com

Approves!
 
2009-01-17 02:31:54 AM  
I blame Obama (oh wait... still got 3 days before I can start in on that one huh?)
 
2009-01-17 02:34:25 AM  

GalleyWench: andrew131: Why is this opening in an new window.

Because you touch yourself at night with my teddy bears.


FTFY
 
2009-01-17 02:41:04 AM  

andrew131: GalleyWench: andrew131: Why is this opening in an new window.

Because you touch yourself at night with my teddy bears.

FTFY


Pics or it didn't happen!
 
2009-01-17 02:46:13 AM  
Alfred?
 
2009-01-17 02:46:16 AM  
I'm guessing that it was a suicide pact. They were very old and wanted to go out in style instead of in a nursing home.
 
2009-01-17 02:46:45 AM  
No mystery here...

Cruise ships are a popular place to end it all. Take an individual or couple who have nothing left to live for, add one ocean-view stateroom with a private balcony, make sure to no leave a note, so that your life insurance will pay out for accidental death and you've got the recipe for throwing your own wake while you're still alive.
 
SFW
2009-01-17 02:49:08 AM  
Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?
 
2009-01-17 02:54:25 AM  
You creepy Bastards probably aren't too far from the truth.
 
2009-01-17 02:56:35 AM  

SFW: Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?


Oh yes...this stinks terribly of :We are going together"
 
2009-01-17 03:01:28 AM  

harlock: I'm guessing that it was a suicide pact. They were very old and wanted to go out in style instead of in a nursing home.


SFW: Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?



Wasn't that an episode of Love Boat ?
 
2009-01-17 03:08:37 AM  

Hector Remarkable: harlock: I'm guessing that it was a suicide pact. They were very old and wanted to go out in style instead of in a nursing home.

SFW: Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?


Wasn't that an episode of Love Boat ?


I'm guessing that in the love boat episode, they were talked out of it by caring staff.
 
2009-01-17 03:15:14 AM  
ill have to vote suicide pact ~
 
2009-01-17 03:23:53 AM  

harlock: Hector Remarkable: harlock: I'm guessing that it was a suicide pact. They were very old and wanted to go out in style instead of in a nursing home.

SFW: Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?


Wasn't that an episode of Love Boat ?

I'm guessing that in the love boat episode, they were talked out of it by caring staff.



But in real life, Isaac the Bartender's not really so outtasite, Doc's just a drunken, malpracticing letch, Captain Steubing's in the men's room looking for some action, and Julie's a whore.
Still. love's always exciting and new.
And when you come aboard they're expecting you.

But yeah, I think it was Gopher who said something that made them think twice and not change the name of the series to "Death Boat", although I'm still waiting for a series with that name.
 
2009-01-17 03:26:13 AM  

harlock: Hector Remarkable: harlock: I'm guessing that it was a suicide pact. They were very old and wanted to go out in style instead of in a nursing home.

SFW: Isn't it obvious the old people wanted to die together and jumped ship (literally)?


Wasn't that an episode of Love Boat ?

I'm guessing that in the love boat episode, they were talked out of it by caring staff.


Nah, Isaac got ripped off his ass on PCP and killed 'em in a drug frenzy! The Love Boat had to cover it up; Groundbreaking television, really.
 
2009-01-17 03:37:47 AM  

Snackly: But where were they going without ever knowing the way?


Well, they won't make it home, but something tells me they really don't care.
 
2009-01-17 03:38:43 AM  
cheaper than going to Europe and paying a doctor to help you die. Suicide pact for sure :)
 
2009-01-17 03:44:06 AM  
These old farts got tossed off by the youngins trying to have fun. Didn't they know they need to keep to themselves on Holland America? Carnival isn't for 90 year olds...
 
2009-01-17 04:22:31 AM  

The meaning of life is to keep the meat fresh.

www.bloopwatch.org

NOM NOM NOM NOM

 
2009-01-17 05:11:30 AM  
Heck, just today, at least half the people I talked to said they planned to jump off a cruise ship in the near future - it was mainly money that was holding them back.
 
2009-01-17 05:30:07 AM  
I blame George Bush.
 
2009-01-17 05:43:40 AM  
/Really obscure reference about island guarded by mechanical birds
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2009-01-17 06:28:51 AM  
You don't tip well, you "fall overboard."
 
2009-01-17 06:47:55 AM  
I believe I've seen that episode of 'CSI:Miami'.
 
2009-01-17 07:39:53 AM  
As a former Anaheim resident, I used to drink with people that work at Disneyland. The dark secret there? A lot of suicides. It appears that many people go for that one last hurrah before doing themselves in.

There are a lot of rooms at the Disneyland Hotel, where, yes, chances are, someone hung themselves in the shower, or took an overdose and passed into the great beyond on the very bed you are sleeping on, in that room with the Tinkerbell wallpaper that you paid way too much for.

Sleep tight.
 
2009-01-17 07:40:51 AM  
It isnt a mystery - they were heaving and wretching due to being violently ill from food-borne illness.

The solution is simple - make the people who prepare the food use toilet paper and wash their hands.

/or they could have just gone for a swim
 
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