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Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-01-04 to Sat 2009-01-10 
Posted by Drew at 2009-01-12 1:54:58 PM, edited 2009-01-14 2:59:44 PM (53 comments) | Permalink
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6858 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2009 at 2:47 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



It's not Fark it's News:

Normally I add a short note about what's going on in the world that's more important than the missing white chick of the week or shark attacks. However on Friday I had knee surgery and they gave me some great pain pills so I unfortunately have no idea what's going on in the world. The surgery went well but took an unexpected turn. The actual scheduled operation was to trim up some cartilage but I told the doc that while he was in there he might as well clean up anything else he could reach. So he shaved some cartilage, smoothed out two bone spurs, one cyst from an old injury dating back to high school probably, a ton of scar tissue, and a couple other things that I can't read because they're in doctorese. Amazingly I feel better after surgery than I did before it.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-01-04 to Sat 2009-01-10:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Alright, stop, collaborate and listen. Boston's back with a brand new edition. 34 photos grab hold of you tightly, taken during day and some of them nightly. Ice Ice baby  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Fire at London cannabis factory ties up 300 firefighters and 35 pizza delivery boys for several hours  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Canadian marooned in dunes of Khartoum since June, swoons for loons and Saskatoon  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Barbie turns 50, finally accepts she will die childless and alone  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman dies after goldmine fall. AU NOES  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman trapped in bathtub for 4 days. "The woman's condition was not available." Submitter's not a doctor, but I'm going to guess "wrinkly"  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Woman fired for taking blunt knife to IRS workplace, Sikhs compensation  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Paraplegic fisherman survives 15 hours floating in the sea. Friends say it's good to have Bob back  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Headline: Alzheimer's drugs doubles death risk. Apparently your risk of death is now 200%  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Criminal 1: I can't believe we just stole this guy's BMW. Criminal 2: This phone I just stole got a text message from someone who claims they have hot chicks and drugs and wants to meet. Criminal 1: He sounds legit. Let's meet him  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Disney adds 30 defibrillators throughout resort. Zap-a-dee-doo-dah  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Burglar gets beaten off by 94-year-old man, now knows how all those choirboys feel  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Portland State defeats Northern Arizona in four overtimes. Because five would have just been excessive  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  What do Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  FSU/USF to play in Palindrome Bowl  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Scientists find gene that makes cancer spread. Still no cure...DEAR GOD now they are just making it worse  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Mosquitoes' wings sound to make sweet, sweet music when they're having sex, presumably to make up for the tiny pricks  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Johnson & Johnson aims to create schizophrenia drug that treats symptoms current drugs don't treat. Like that man with the empty face who is looking over my shoulder STOP LOOKING AT ME I GAVE YOU THE BAG OF DYNAMITE ALREADY


Showbiz:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway may have had a falling out. Maybe they should wrestle around a little, not too rough, just kinda light and playful...maybe one pins the other and their lips come oh so close. What? Oh sorry, lost my train of thought

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  "Biggest Loser" contestant arrested for throwing flour in the face of her tenant, which she didn't think was illegal since her husband has to throw flour on her every night  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  MTV Exec receives box of poop. Immediately schedules it between "Bromance" and "Rob & Big"  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Boehner is extremely concerned about the size of the package and whether it will provide enough stimulus  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Obama's mother-in-law moving into White House. This is bad news... for Obama  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  In his Boobies-campaign misstep, Obama sent e-mail without asking for money  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Steve Jobs says he's been diagnosed with a hormone imbalance, which could affect his iMmune system  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Lenovo deletes 2,500 entities  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img1.fark.net too old to be available]  Circuit City in talks with "two interested parties" - the IRS and the Grim Reaper  [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


53 Comments   (+0 »)
   

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2009-01-12 02:54:44 PM  
Really?

We're doing this every week now?
 
2009-01-12 02:55:09 PM  
Some good ones this week.
 
2009-01-12 03:07:49 PM  
wtf? Let's make a new tab to put these in for the few that might care.
 
2009-01-12 03:08:06 PM  
Yeah, it's fun once a year as a bit of a time killer, but once a week? I'll pass.
 
2009-01-12 03:10:01 PM  
In his Boobies-campaign misstep, Obama sent e-mail without asking for money

Head Explodes?
 
2009-01-12 03:10:11 PM  
Pain Killers, Drew.

That's the reason your knee feels better after the surgery
 
2009-01-12 03:11:51 PM  
so, no more sharp knees then?

/yes i know that jokes been made before
//not gonna hit it
 
2009-01-12 03:13:04 PM  
Hugh2d2: Really?

We're doing this every week now?


Grither: Yeah, it's fun once a year as a bit of a time killer, but once a week? I'll pass.

Where've you guys been? I think this has been going since October.
 
2009-01-12 03:13:08 PM  
Demerol FTW!!!


Yeah this could be fun every week.
 
2009-01-12 03:14:19 PM  
Hugh2d2: Really?

We're doing this every week now?


We have been. Since October I think.
 
2009-01-12 03:14:54 PM  
I like it. I don't get on enough to see all the great headlines, so I like them being spoon fed to me.

Thanks!
 
2009-01-12 03:18:13 PM  
Shake shake shake.
Shake shake shake.


I still can't get enough of last year's finalists.
 
2009-01-12 03:19:40 PM  
cretinbob: Demerol FTW!!!


Yeah this could be fun every week.


you think it could just be, he's forgotten he's posted one of these already?

drew lay off the drugs man, they're messing with your brain
 
2009-01-12 03:21:13 PM  
tdyak: In his Boobies-campaign misstep, Obama sent e-mail without asking for money

Head Explodes?


Wonder how often Drew get pwned by his site's own filter?
 
2009-01-12 03:22:35 PM  
Finally, Drew doesn't have sharp knees anymore.
 
2009-01-12 03:24:46 PM  
This makes it easier to do the headline of the year award in December
 
2009-01-12 03:25:33 PM  
Paraplegic fisherman survives 15 hours floating in the sea. Friends say it's good to have Bob back

/facepalm
//I still LOL'd.
///Some good ones here.

Glad you made it in one piece, Drew!
 
2009-01-12 03:27:49 PM  
MizzouGuy: This makes it easier to do the headline of the year award in December

And a special kudos to those who made it on Jeopardy.
 
2009-01-12 03:29:43 PM  
Boobies campaign? Sounds intriguing.
 
2009-01-12 03:33:34 PM  
I started to participate, but there's no voting. Screw it.
 
2009-01-12 03:36:44 PM  
antidisestablishmentarianism: Pain Killers, Drew.
That's the reason your knee feels better after the surgery


we finally have a case of correlation overlapping causation
 
2009-01-12 03:44:44 PM  
Yeah, we've been running Headlines of the Week since October. For a lot of you it might not matter too much, but it's usually nice for people that aren't on every day or have missed a week or two.

And yes, it'll make the Headline of the Year contest a lot easier.
 
2009-01-12 03:51:02 PM  
The actual scheduled operation was to trim up some cartilage but I told the doc that while he was in there he might as well clean up anything else he could reach. So he cut off my penis

FTFY :D

/keep up the good work, BTW
//we're all counting on you
 
2009-01-12 03:57:28 PM  
You asked a doctor to do whatever clean-up work they saw fit with your knees, Drew? Wow, I'm surprised they were even able to see straight with the dollar signs in their eyes.

/good luck, we're all counting on you
 
2009-01-12 04:01:53 PM  
Giza: MizzouGuy: This makes it easier to do the headline of the year award in December

And a special kudos to those who made it on Jeopardy.


Speaking of which, does anyone have a link to the video on that?
 
2009-01-12 04:14:55 PM  
Never give the doctor free reign like that. You will always come out with much less.
 
2009-01-12 04:25:11 PM  
Unfreakable: Yeah, we've been running Headlines of the Week since October. For a lot of you it might not matter too much, but it's usually nice for people that aren't on every day or have missed a week or two..

There....there are people who aren't on Fark every day? What are they DOING?
 
2009-01-12 04:30:08 PM  
this is kinda weird, because ive never seen headlines of the week before and im usually on fark every day.
 
2009-01-12 04:31:17 PM  
Good headlines this week.
 
2009-01-12 04:34:21 PM  
Cool one of mine made it. This week...headline of the week. In 52 weeks...HEADLINE OF THE YEAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!
 
2009-01-12 04:36:58 PM  
Hey, I actually got one on the list this week. My life has meaning now.

I especially like the schizophrenia one.
 
2009-01-12 04:46:21 PM  
Hugh2d2: Really?

We're doing this every week now?


knee surgery? i hope not for drew's sake.
 
2009-01-12 04:49:03 PM  
who is the what now?
 
2009-01-12 04:51:29 PM  
I came to disparage, but instead I gotta admit that "Zap-a-dee-doo-dah" made me laugh.
 
2009-01-12 05:08:52 PM  
DeadZone: Giza: MizzouGuy: This makes it easier to do the headline of the year award in December

And a special kudos to those who made it on Jeopardy.

Speaking of which, does anyone have a link to the video on that?



Here you go. (new window)
 
2009-01-12 05:12:36 PM  
robotpirateninja: who is the what now?

Who shot who in the what now?
 
2009-01-12 05:27:03 PM  
"Palindrome Bowl"

Got some looks in the office for the stupid laughter.
 
2009-01-12 05:54:55 PM  
Sasquach: Who shot who in the what now?

Some sad people. Me. In the back.
 
2009-01-12 06:38:54 PM  
I like this feature.

/get all healed up soon, Drew.
 
2009-01-12 07:01:16 PM  
If we're doing this every week why not vote enable it and let the winners go at it at the end of the year for HotY?
 
2009-01-12 07:16:03 PM  
I too like the Headline of the Week feature. I'm on Fark most every day, too, but I don't always go to the Showbiz or Sports tabs, so I had missed the "Palindrome Bowl."
 
2009-01-12 07:31:32 PM  
on Friday I had knee surgery

Good to hear you're feeling better already!
 
2009-01-12 07:56:26 PM  
I like the headline of the week thing. I never realized how many headlines I miss, I've been looking more and more often for it now. Keep it coming!
 
2009-01-12 08:02:37 PM  
Drew .. Glad you are feeling better. I guess you can't go rollerblading for awhile now.
 
2009-01-12 08:20:52 PM  
I_C_Weener Cool one of mine made it.

alacy52 Hey, I actually got one on the list this week. My life has meaning now.

Yay, I'm also in the club...bottle full of Bud Mama, I got that X, if you into takin' drugs. I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love
 
2009-01-12 08:25:21 PM  
How about once a month? It'd be a bit less pointless and more of an occasion.

/still want headline of the year of course
 
2009-01-12 09:23:51 PM  
Fark travel intrigues me.
 
2009-01-12 09:55:47 PM  
baddecaf who greenlights this crap?

HEY!! I_C_Weener, alacy52 & I are celebrating our flawless victory & you show up & harsh our vibe
 
2009-01-12 09:56:39 PM  
fark.

take care drew.

-sounds like johnny no-fun time for you.
 
2009-01-12 10:56:44 PM  
Take care, dude!
 
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