It's not Fark it's News:
Normally I add a short note about what's going on in the world that's more important than the missing white chick of the week or shark attacks. However on Friday I had knee surgery and they gave me some great pain pills so I unfortunately have no idea what's going on in the world. The surgery went well but took an unexpected turn. The actual scheduled operation was to trim up some cartilage but I told the doc that while he was in there he might as well clean up anything else he could reach. So he shaved some cartilage, smoothed out two bone spurs, one cyst from an old injury dating back to high school probably, a ton of scar tissue, and a couple other things that I can't read because they're in doctorese. Amazingly I feel better after surgery than I did before it.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-01-04 to Sat 2009-01-10:
Alright, stop, collaborate and listen. Boston's back with a brand new edition. 34 photos grab hold of you tightly, taken during day and some of them nightly. Ice Ice baby 
Fire at London cannabis factory ties up 300 firefighters and 35 pizza delivery boys for several hours 
Canadian marooned in dunes of Khartoum since June, swoons for loons and Saskatoon Barbie turns 50, finally accepts she will die childless and alone 
Woman dies after goldmine fall. AU NOES 
Woman trapped in bathtub for 4 days. "The woman's condition was not available." Submitter's not a doctor, but I'm going to guess "wrinkly" 
Woman fired for taking blunt knife to IRS workplace, Sikhs compensation 
Paraplegic fisherman survives 15 hours floating in the sea. Friends say it's good to have Bob back 
Headline: Alzheimer's drugs doubles death risk. Apparently your risk of death is now 200% 
Criminal 1: I can't believe we just stole this guy's BMW. Criminal 2: This phone I just stole got a text message from someone who claims they have hot chicks and drugs and wants to meet. Criminal 1: He sounds legit. Let's meet him 
Disney adds 30 defibrillators throughout resort. Zap-a-dee-doo-dah 
Burglar gets beaten off by 94-year-old man, now knows how all those choirboys feel Sports:
Portland State defeats Northern Arizona in four overtimes. Because five would have just been excessive What do Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was the wall FSU/USF to play in Palindrome Bowl Geek:
Scientists find gene that makes cancer spread. Still no cure...DEAR GOD now they are just making it worse Mosquitoes' wings sound to make sweet, sweet music when they're having sex, presumably to make up for the tiny pricks Johnson & Johnson aims to create schizophrenia drug that treats symptoms current drugs don't treat. Like that man with the empty face who is looking over my shoulder STOP LOOKING AT ME I GAVE YOU THE BAG OF DYNAMITE ALREADYShowbiz:
Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway may have had a falling out. Maybe they should wrestle around a little, not too rough, just kinda light and playful...maybe one pins the other and their lips come oh so close. What? Oh sorry, lost my train of thought
"Biggest Loser" contestant arrested for throwing flour in the face of her tenant, which she didn't think was illegal since her husband has to throw flour on her every night MTV Exec receives box of poop. Immediately schedules it between "Bromance" and "Rob & Big" Politics:
Boehner is extremely concerned about the size of the package and whether it will provide enough stimulus 
Obama's mother-in-law moving into White House. This is bad news... for Obama In his Boobies-campaign misstep, Obama sent e-mail without asking for money Business:
Steve Jobs says he's been diagnosed with a hormone imbalance, which could affect his iMmune system Lenovo deletes 2,500 entities Circuit City in talks with "two interested parties" - the IRS and the Grim Reaper · · ·
![[TotalFark]](http://img.fark.net/images/2003/totalfark.gif "[TotalFark]"){kind=small}
