scuzzphut: I think it's pretty rude to breeze into another country and assume that you can conduct all business in the language of your choice.

Isn't that what Mexicans do in the U.S.?

grayarea: As a Londoner I would please request that tourists(American one I am looking at you) please refrain from commenting on how crowded and pushed in you are on my morning commute. other than that I have no problem with our fine tourist friends who like to clog Oxford Street... I never go to the place you frequent so I live and let live.

lawl...London is crowded?

Anyone who thinks that needs to try NYC at rush hour.

I'm not sure if the article was satirical or not, but I was amused all the same.

/ So confused
// British people I know are quite nice as acquaintances, but when they become friends, they become dickheads

SidVacant: Now Japan... there's a place with customer service. Second to none.

I've encountered some honestly wonderful-to-meet people when I went to Japan on business. OTOH I also was treated to some extremely rude, even antagonism, attitudes from a bartender at the hotel. And yes, I made an effort to speak the language. Might have been a holder from WWII I guess.

strangeguitar: ...France and Greece were the exact opposite.

hamiltonjdavid: France on the other hand is packed full of assholes. More accurately that's just Paris. Anywhere else in France is great.

I had a similar experience. Loved France until I got to Paris, but I bet foreigners who come to NYC feel the same way.

If you're going to Greece, GO WITH A GREEK. I was treated like family because my Greek friend was telling everyone I was funding his restaurant and that he was farking my sister.

Its_A_Tarp: Am I the only one who likes Nandos?

I love the peri-peri seasoning on their chips. And the garlic peri-peri sauce is pretty good.

culebra: CitizenTed: It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS.

THIS. American consumers have such an enorrmous sense of entitlement waistline it's a wonder they can get through the door.

FTFY

Gyrfalcon: I get so many conflicting stories about travel abroad, I may never ever leave America. Seems like its safer just to stay here and be ignorant about the rest of the world.

At least as far as actually going there and experiencing it.

I've been in (I think) 18 countries, and had a great time in all of them except Papua New Guinea, the name of which is apparently pidgin for "shiathole". Go. you'll have fun as long as you're nice. Come to India, where people will ask to have their picture taken with you, their "American friend". And even in the coolest of places on the globe (IMHO, Wellington, New Zealand), you'll still see enough weirdness to give you a new appreciation for the US.

scuzzphut: I think it's pretty rude to breeze into another country and assume that you can conduct all business in the language of your choice.

Guess you can count me amongst the rude, then -- I speak enough English and Spanish to get by in the US, and pantomime everywhere else. In most countries I've been to, they have clerks that have more talent for languages than I do, and I appreciate that very much (Yashwant Place, aka The Russian Market) here in New Delhi is full of shopkeepers that speak Hindi, English and Russian. Amazing talents.

I discovered that shopkeepers in Seoul appreciated my pantomime attempts and often pantomimed back, laughing and bringing me extra coffee. Mmm, coffee.

lol - No.6 isn't even a joke

and 11 - those 99p pints are only bloody Greene King IPA from wetherspoon's - shiate beer

Its_A_Tarp: Am I the only one who likes Nandos?

I've always found Nando's to be one of the best places for customer service in the UK. They got my girlfriend's order wrong once (I blame her, she always goes for something exotic) and they bent over backwards to correct it. Free beer, free dessert and a sincere apology.

Why does the headline say Britain is cheap?
The last I checked the Pound was still a buck and a half.

Its_A_Tarp: Am I the only one who likes Nandos?

Nandos extra hot is the best thing on earth.

Unless you LIVE in a place for more then 3-6 months you have absolutely not ability to comment on what the area is like. This is the worst with Canadians coming from America.

/Yeah, you went to Orlando during tourist season and someone yelled at you, now all Americans are pricks.

As a native Australian I'm used to being sneered at in London, but the last time I went I had a very strange experience. I've now lived in the USA for 8 years, so they'd start on me with the usual patronizing tones but then when they'd ask me where I was from, I'd say "California" and they'd deflate all of a sudden.

So that gives you some idea of the pecking order. They don't respect you yanks, but at least they rank you over the lowly aussies.

Food in London was lovely, peoples teeth were straight. No complaints, too crowded for me though.

The exchange rate at the time (Oct) was non stop ass rape.

Wodan11: scuzzphut: I think it's pretty rude to breeze into another country and assume that you can conduct all business in the language of your choice.

Isn't that what Mexicans do in the U.S.?

snicker

Silovik: Unless you LIVE in a place for more then 3-6 months you have absolutely not ability to comment on what the area is like. This is the worst with Canadians coming from America.

/Yeah, you went to Orlando during tourist season and someone yelled at you, now all Americans are pricks.

Fine, you go live in Port Moresby for six months. If you survive, let us know how you liked it.

/spent six months in Port Moresby one week.

In shops (in the UK) I like the lack of 'service culture' - I want to exchange goods for money, and a "please" for a "thankyou" - then leave. I don't want a conversation.

On the other hand, I've found the most abysmal service is to be had at small, non-chain hotels. Usually at the seaside. After suffering at a few, I can see how many Americans can have formed such an awful opinion of British service, pricing and food quality.

Travel advice for American tourists in London:

TRANSPORTATION
Public taxis are subsidised by Her Majesty's Government. A taxi ride in London costs two pounds, no matter how far you travel. If a taxi driver tries to overcharge you, you should yell "I think not" then grab the nearest policeman (bobby) and have the driver disciplined.

It is rarely necessary to take a taxi, though, since bus drivers are required to make detours at patrons' requests. Just board any bus, pay your fare of thruppence (the heavy gold-coloured coins are "pence"), and state your destination clearly to the driver, e.g. "Please take me to the British Library."

A driver will frequently try to have a bit of harmless fun by pretending he doesn't go to your requested destination. Ignore him, he is only teasing the American tourist (little does he know you're not so ignorant!).

For those travelling on a shoestring budget, the London Tube may be the most economical way to get about, especially if you are a woman. Chivalry is alive and well in Britain, and ladies still travel for free on the Tube.

Simply take some tokens from the baskets at the base of the escalators or on the platforms; you will find one near any of the state-sponsored Tube musicians.

Once on the platform, though, beware! Approaching trains sometimes disturb the large Gappe bats that roost in the tunnels. The Gappes were smuggled into London in the early 19th century by French saboteurs and have proved impossible to exterminate. The announcement "Mind the Gappe!" is a signal that you should grab your hair and look towards the ceiling.

Very few people have ever been killed by Gappes, though, and they are considered only a minor drawback to an otherwise excellent means of transportation.

I like my British servants to be obsequious, nay, terrified and cringing lest I give them the lash.

See, I prefer mine like Hobson: condescending and cranky.

Gyrfalcon

I get so many conflicting stories about travel abroad, I may never ever leave America. Seems like its safer just to stay here and be ignorant about the rest of the world.

At least as far as actually going there and experiencing it.


Dude - go, see for yourself. Unless you get arrested or something, I don't think you'll regret it.

Wherever you go, take a cheat sheet of the local language and at least try to use it. You would be surprised how helpful that can be.

Englebert Slaptyback: Wherever you go, take a cheat sheet of the local language and at least try to use it. You would be surprised how helpful that can be.

This. Most 'locals' are delighted if you make even a little effort to speak the language.

A 'please' and a 'thankyou' in the local tongue works wonders.... it is just a shame that 'thankyou' is so difficult to pronounce in Czech.

RubberFootMan: On the other hand, I've found the most abysmal service is to be had at small, non-chain hotels

I stayed in one of these in London. I nearly died when it caught fire.

BrunelloBabe: RubberFootMan: On the other hand, I've found the most abysmal service is to be had at small, non-chain hotels

I stayed in one of these in London. I nearly died when it caught fire.

You should have been more careful with your arson attempt - I'm sure they deserved it though.

Oh Giles Coren, nobody understands you but me. Let's run away together.

Until reading this thread, I never grasped how similar the words "tourist" and "terrorist" sound if said casually.

I mean, how our future former president says, "terrorist" makes them practically indestinguishable.

dittybopper: CitizenTed: Pope George Ringo: One of the nice things about restaurants in Europe is the robotic efficiency of the wait staff. They don't tell you their names, they don't smile ingratiatingly, they don't check to see if "everything's OK" every 10 minutes, don't ask if you want a refill on your drink... They just take your order, bring your food, and go away until you ask for the check.

It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS. It's quite enjoyable seeing American tourists expecting to be treated like royalty (like when they go to Applebee's) and instead finding a waiter in Vienna who openly insults them in German and just walks away. Awesome.

You know what's even funnier? When the American insults them back, because they took several years of German, but the waiter was too haughty enough in their own provincial superiority complex to realize that just because you order in English doesn't mean you can't speak German.


I've done that in Spanish here in Florida.

dittybopper: CitizenTed: Pope George Ringo: One of the nice things about restaurants in Europe is the robotic efficiency of the wait staff. They don't tell you their names, they don't smile ingratiatingly, they don't check to see if "everything's OK" every 10 minutes, don't ask if you want a refill on your drink... They just take your order, bring your food, and go away until you ask for the check.

It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS. It's quite enjoyable seeing American tourists expecting to be treated like royalty (like when they go to Applebee's) and instead finding a waiter in Vienna who openly insults them in German and just walks away. Awesome.

You know what's even funnier? When the American insults them back, because they took several years of German, but the waiter was too haughty enough in their own provincial superiority complex to realize that just because you order in English doesn't mean you can't speak German.

/Seen in happen in several languages.
//The best is when someone mutters "dirty ghost" in Mandarin, and gets pwned with "Is this how civilized people treat guests?".
///*NEVER* assume that people can't understand you.

You should always know enough of the local language to recognize and return insults.

Whirlpool: Travel advice for American tourists in London:

Classic.

And the English even exported the Gappes to Hong Kong.
Or was it the French? Damn their eyes.

Just to add a little background, this writer was recently responsible for firing off this stompy little note (new window) when a sub-editor removed the word 'a' from a review he'd written (apparently spoiling a hilarious joke about oral sex). Not sure what he's like to shop-staff though.

Whirlpool, you forgot to mention

Be sure to try the famous echo in the British Museum reading room.

British brothels have a blue light outside the door.

Prostitution is strictly regulated - prostitutes are required to wear a uniform. They can often be found at street corners - their 'beat' is marked by yellow lines on the sidewalk.

The British are very friendly people. When boarding a bus or train, it is customary to shake hands with the other passengers.
/Gerard Hoffnung

Jonathan Hohensee: klepto21: culebra: CitizenTed: It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS.

THIS. American consumers have such an enorrmous sense of entitlement it's a wonder they can get through the door.

I think it's the fact that a business that didn't have the insincere BS here in USA would go bankrupt. Because everyone would go to the place that treated them nice.

I'm going to guess that its simply because we tip here.
And tip big.

We wouldn't have to tip here if we'd pay our waiters a decent living wage like most European countries. And quite frankly, I can't stand being harassed while shopping. No, you cannot help me. Nor do I give a rat's ass how much you love the product I'm considering, and if I needed help finding anything, I'd ask.

Tillmaster: Whirlpool, you forgot to mention

Be sure to try the famous echo in the British Museum reading room.

British brothels have a blue light outside the door.

Prostitution is strictly regulated - prostitutes are required to wear a uniform. They can often be found at street corners - their 'beat' is marked by yellow lines on the sidewalk.

The British are very friendly people. When boarding a bus or train, it is customary to shake hands with the other passengers.
/Gerard Hoffnung

Oh, I've got more, but the travel section was always my favourite. How about:

RELAXING
One of the most delightful ways to spend an afternoon in Oxford or Cambridge is gliding gently down the river in one of their flat-bottomed boats, which you propel using a long pole.

This is known as "cottaging." Many of the boats (called "yer-i-nals") are privately owned by the colleges, but there are some places that rent them to the public by the hour.

Just tell a professor or policeman that you are interested in doing some cottaging and would like to know where the public yerinals are.

The poles must be treated with vegetable oil to protect them from the water, so it's a good idea to buy a can of Mazola and have it on you when you ask directions to the yerinals.

That way people will know you are an experienced cottager.

Why does France hate toilet seats? :(

CanadaHauntsMe: Jonathan Hohensee: klepto21: culebra: CitizenTed: It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS.

THIS. American consumers have such an enorrmous sense of entitlement it's a wonder they can get through the door.

I think it's the fact that a business that didn't have the insincere BS here in USA would go bankrupt. Because everyone would go to the place that treated them nice.

I'm going to guess that its simply because we tip here.
And tip big.

We wouldn't have to tip here if we'd pay our waiters a decent living wage like most European countries. And quite frankly, I can't stand being harassed while shopping. No, you cannot help me. Nor do I give a rat's ass how much you love the product I'm considering, and if I needed help finding anything, I'd ask.



Some stores require that the salespeople get all coddly with you. It sucks, I know... I've worked in customer service for years. What's interesting is that certain customers (the rich ones) get all pissy when you DON'T do these things, because of their sense of entitlement. And even when you're up to par with however management wants you to act, these customers will still treat you like shiat.

/health food store richers are the WORST

drxym: Actually staff in Britain are generally very helpful assuming you are polite, respectful and pleasant in your dealings with them. This is more impressive when you also consider they do it without expecting any sort of gratuity. They might not be helpful if you are a complete dick in front of them, either in your demands for attention or in the way you talk to them. That might work in the US, it doesn't work in Britain, Ireland or anywhere else for that matter.

I dare say you have identified why some farkers have personal anecdotes of bad service.

I always enjoyed being asked for directions, preferably by someone waving a map with the entire British Isles on the same page - with London indicated by a dot.
I usually replied with "I wouldn't start from here, if I were you."

lunkhed: I usually replied with "I wouldn't start from here, if I were you."

I had this really cool pop-up map when I went to Edinburgh. I bought one for London and promptly left it on my kitchen table.

supernaturaltoe
I found people in Paris, France to be lovely and helpful. Maybe I was just lucky?

I did too. The rudest person I met backpacking around Europe was the security dude at Heathrow. He was a super prick. Also, the random guy mastubating at us from behind a bush in Madrid (but maybe he was just trying to be friendly).

Overall, in Europe, most people I was polite to were polite right back to me

tiamet4: supernaturaltoe
I found people in Paris, France to be lovely and helpful. Maybe I was just lucky?

I did too. The rudest person I met backpacking around Europe was the security dude at Heathrow. He was a super prick. Also, the random guy mastubating at us from behind a bush in Madrid (but maybe he was just trying to be friendly).


I was on a pilgrimage dammit.

tiamet4: I did too. The rudest person I met backpacking around Europe was the security dude at Heathrow.

Heathrow is generally a cesspool anyway, I think if I had to work there, I'd have an attitude too.

I speak fluent French and lived and worked in Paris for 7 years. Try working there and dealing with the laborious masses in the middle of the rush hour. Pig farkers, all of them. I'll take London any day.

klepto21: culebra: CitizenTed: It's what I like about Europe. No insincere BS.

THIS. American consumers have such an enorrmous sense of entitlement it's a wonder they can get through the door.

I think it's the fact that a business that didn't have the insincere BS here in USA would go bankrupt. Because everyone would go to the place that treated them nice.

If customers weren't assholes, employees wouldn't have to treat everyone with insincerity in order to maintain their jobs. They could actually be sincere to customers if every other cow with 3 kids didn't talk to them like a manservant.

/chicken, egg?

Yes, it really is always the overwieght middle aged housewife....I hate them.

Lived and worked in Northern France for several years. I've never been treated so well abroad, and even most places in the United States fall short of the politeness and courtesy that I saw in the Normandy region. Case in point, my mother came to visit me, and we went out to eat at a little cafe in Arromanches. We didn't eat much, maybe €10 for our mains and €5 for our drinks and espresso. But I had trouble paying the bill; the owner wouldn't accept my money. He had only this to say: "Vous etez Americaine. Nous nous souvenons mille-neuf-cente quarante-quatre." Needless to say I was floored. I still left €15 on the table as payment, but my mother was speechless.

Translation: "You're American. We remember 1944."