Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Spike)   Top 10 signs you've got a piece of shiat car   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

36354 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2009 at 6:47 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

377 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

2009-01-10 08:06:38 AM  
users.zoominternet.netView Full Size
2009-01-10 08:45:15 AM  
One of my older brothers had a real junker that amazed everyone when he managed to get it through state inspection. I think it was a '67 Corvair. Definitely a Corvair.

The windshield wipers hadn't worked in months. He was driving me to school on a busy highway, through a monsoon. To make the wipers work, he rigged this system of ropes to each wiper and fed the ends through the side windows. We had to take turns pulling the rope to move the wiper blades. Of course the windows had to be open enough for the ropes, and anyone in the car got soaked. WTF he did when he was alone in a rain storm, I don't know. Come to think of it, the windows had to be open all the time due to the fumes from the engine (I think Corvairs were famous for gassing people). The only thing on that car that wasn't jury rigged was the radio. It worked great.
2009-01-10 09:42:22 AM  

What about when the alarm goes off on its own, while you're driving?


Your car alarm?!?
2009-01-10 10:00:27 AM  

notbubbaholy: I have a 1994 mazda 626 manual with 112k miles on it. It needs a new muffler and the struts are gone. I don't know any other problems with it besides a couple of door dings. Should I buy a new car or is it worth it to stick with this one? I could probably afford a new Toyota Matrix. Thanks farkers, I love you.

Get the Toyota.
2009-01-10 10:19:46 AM  
I had a 76 aspen in 1988-- every time I washed it-- pieces of the body would fall off . driver side window had fallen off the guide, one day I was hosing it down, I had vaccumed the inside and cleaned the windows- a neighbor walks by and asked me why did i even bother ??

that engine was still great though.... can't beat those slant six engines !!
2009-01-10 11:05:51 AM  

KrispyKritter: 1972 Chevy Biscayne (poor man's Impala - LOL!), smashed left front fender, mustard color house paint applied by hand w/ brush, massive 8 cyl also found in Tow Trucks and Corvettes. Dashboard hidden by serious quantity of punk band album repro buttons.

I'd take me droogies to McSorley's Ale House in NYC and we would leave the car double-parked with the ignition key in it: the good neighbor policy, so others could get their cars out of parking spots.

Never stolen, never towed. Took that car places a Jeep wouldn't go.

images.4wheeloffroad.comView Full Size


/hot like a straining steering box
2009-01-10 11:07:49 AM  

Ishidan: Heater rusted out, spilling coolant into the passenger compartment, I mean. Right onto my feet.

willy359 2009-01-09 09:31:55 PM
2) Also, windshield washer was wired to a doorbell switch dangling from the dash.

Heh. We did that with the horn on the '74 Toyota.

I can just imagine this....
Other driver: *swerve*
You: *ding dong*
Other Driver: WTF?

I've been on the giving and receiving end of the dying horn. They both sounded a lot like This at 7:30 (new window). I'm not a car person so I don't know what happened, but I rather enjoyed the dying horn as it sounded a lot like a siren so people really got out of my way.
2009-01-10 11:32:37 AM  
10 signs?

[image from too old to be available]
2009-01-10 11:38:26 AM  
A certain Farkette who's too busy and distracted to post here told me a story about a car she had. Can't remember what kind, but I want to say a Camaro. Anyway, it broke down a number of times -- but always right as she was pulling into the garage. (Once, some vital component dropped out right as she parked.)

She eventually unloaded it, but years later found herself next to it at a stoplight, and couldn't help yelling that it used to be her car. The guy in the car looked concerned, said he just bought it off someone, and asked if it was okay. "Uh.. it always got me home!"

A somewhat similar story is about a friend of mine here. She had a Civic that was very distinctive looking because she had to replace the hatch with a different-coloured panel, and covered the rear end with crazy stickers. We were good friends, and somehow got in the habit of giving each other the finger whenever we passed each other on the road around town, which was often. In time, a lot of her friends picked this up and were also giving her the finger on the road. She moved to New York and we kind of lost touch, but a couple years later I saw her driving in town again, pulled up next to her at a light, and cheerfully flung her the finger. Except that it wasn't her behind the wheel, but some stranger. She wasn't upset at me, but she did seem a little dismayed. A few weeks later, I ran into my old friend and told her about it. "Yeah, I sold that car when I went to New York. I told the girl, there's something you should probably know about this car...."
2009-01-10 11:57:39 AM  
I love living in NC, but it's the only place I've ever had to worry about getting a car inspected. Some of these stories are making me cringe at the thought of going to an inspection station.

Of course, somehow I lucked out and when I registered my Prelude, they said the inspection wasn't due until 12/31/09, even though the inspection sticker expires 5/31/09. There's no way it'd pass with that headlight issue.

Then again, what're they gonna do? Send me letters? Heh. They can pry my popsicle stick out of my cold dead hands.
2009-01-10 12:17:02 PM  
First car was a '71 Ford Torino, listed color was metallic green. Over the 4 years I drove it, I think I replaced almost every part of that car mechanically, often because much of it was still original equipment, but the body was truly a tank. Definitely made people nervous though, never could figure out why. Maybe it was the vinyl seats?
2009-01-10 12:51:49 PM  
The following post does not represent the opinions of Spike TV or its affiliates.

Spike TV has affiliates?
2009-01-10 01:02:42 PM  

WhyteRaven74: I actually wouldn't mind a Fiero now, assuming it was in good shape, for short drives and pointless cruising around. Though an old Toyota MR2 would be better. Though even harder to get in. Seriously, I don't think anyone over 5'10" could fit in it.

I haven't tried out an MR2, but I fit comfortably in my 1984 Fiero and I'm 6'5". Even had to sleep in it for a couple of hours. Come to think of it I was also down by the (Niagara) river at the time.

I loved that car. Had some problems, among others: the starter motor was right next to the engine and if the engine ran hot the motor's solenoid wouldn't push out the starter gear meaning the car wouldn't start for hours. Unless you hit it with a broomstick, which I kept in the trunk.

I believe it had a lot of the Checy Citation parts in it. Made it cheap to assemble.

I still can't believe that GM / Pontiac killed off that car. They would kill for the yearly sales of that car now. Another poor decision out of Detroit.
2009-01-10 01:03:15 PM  

Other driver: *swerve*
You: *ding dong*
Other Driver: WTF?

HAHAH no the horn itself was fine, just the switch had to be rewired.

NEW car is a 2005 Hyundai. So far so good, except the horn is factory-weak. I swear I've never heard a more pathetic horn. If I had been thinking, I would have ripped the horn out of the Chevy before I got rid of it...oh well.
2009-01-10 01:07:17 PM  

Grouchy Old Bear: Everyone Shut Up!!

Meet the reason I wasn't laid till 19.

I have you all beat.

Bwhahahahaha! I had one of those, but it was a Mecury Bobcat Ralleye trim in white with black and orange red highlights, HUGE BOBCAT letters, and it cost me a total of $110 after haggling with the guy and sold for $75 to a guy who wanted the engine. You felt like you were in a fast car and you get a lot of stares. After that, it was cheap beaters.
2009-01-10 01:17:04 PM  
I must say, this thread has delivered in FINE form.

I'm sure at least half of you are exaggerating to one degree or another, but even if half the crap I've read here is true, it's hilarious.
2009-01-10 01:18:08 PM  
The best beater car was my maroon 1990 Dodge Spirit with massive inline 4 engine. It was fast enough, powerful enough, and crappy enough that I could leave the windows down in the summer and not worry about it.

The radio worked (had no SEEK which was a pain), the A/C worked in the summer, and the heater worked in the winter. The horn broke so I got to use my singing voice. By the time I was done with it, I actually got 4 years out of the tires (drove it in to the junkyard with the nylon bias showing and said they were street slicks), one new set of brake pads, and I think maybe 8 or 9 oil changes (the crazy thing was the oil never got dirty). Cost me $150 and I sold it for $110...

The sad thing is no one every ran into it and there were no dents in the body other than the bumps in the plastic bumpers. Meanwhile I get a new Dodge Caravan and someone rams into the side of it the first winter in a grocery store parking lot...
2009-01-10 02:12:39 PM  

GurneyHalleck: 15. You are adding oil, power steering fluid, transmission fluid or water/anti-freeze to the car on a daily basis.

16. Your windshield washer pump no longer works, and you are forced to throw water onto your windshield in the winter to clean it off.

Your juxtaposition of these two items reminded me of a friend of mine in high school who had a leaky transmission and no funds to rebuild said transmission. About every 100 miles it would start slipping.

So we got a gallon milk jug, filled it with ATF, and put the windshield washer intake line into the gallon jug. Took the windshield washer pump output hose off of the windshield sprayer nozzles, removed the transmission dipstick, got a cork, and threaded the hose through the cork into the transmission dipstick tube. Whenever he was driving along and the transformer would start to slip, he would hit the windshield washer button a few times and that would squirt ATF into the transformer & would stop the transmission slipping (for a while anyways).

He drove it like that for a year. Good times.
2009-01-10 03:18:24 PM  
Anyone still reading?
'72 VW microbus, owned in the mid 80's.
Pulling out of a bank down a 3 foot drop and the motor mount let go and the motor fell onto the ground.
Left a note on it to not tow and came back a couple hours later jacked the motor back up and put the mount in.
When I sold it to a friend it died a few blocks down the road. I offered him his money back, but he said no.
The back bumper was a 4x4 piece of wood.

One VW beetle I bought cheep and was driving 100 miles south to trade for a clutch when I noticed a low gas condition and checked it out to find I was leaking gas and no easy way to fix it. So I drove the last 50 miles leaking gas.

Those were training for a '94 Intrepid that made it to 302k miles before the engine blew.

Now I'm driving a '93 Cadillac that is hideously ugly. What is it with the doors on this thing, they either don't latch or don't open.
2009-01-10 04:03:06 PM  

coyote71: The engine likes to flood, the car always farking stalls. And the seat cushion's got a big rip so a spring always pokes the balls. Plus the door locks are busted, got to use a farking coat hanger. And if a girlie ever sees the car, there's no chance you'll ever bang her.

Came here to post that. Classic.
2009-01-10 05:43:08 PM  

Bad Dad Why: Anyone still reading?

Late to the thread. Not disappointed either.
Had an '89 Honda Civic. Bought it in '98.
The alternator died and the new one made all the lights flicker, including the stereo.
I'd turn off the car but the engine kept running for about 30 seconds till it cut off.
The headlights didn't actually fit in so they actually stuck out on the sides.
The left door wouldn't lock and I couldn't find a replacement at the time b/c after 1989 they changed the lock mechanism on how it mounted. So I ended up using bungee cords to keep the door closed, and on every right turn the door would still open up a little.

/still didn't stop sister from asking to borrow the car all the time.
//head gasket finally blew and I sold it to some guy for $200.
2009-01-10 06:58:45 PM  
11. You have a giant penis and don't need a nice car.
2009-01-10 08:11:51 PM  
the_wanderer 2009-01-09 07:22:23 PM
I'm thinking about mounting a big XBox steering wheel over the glove box.. So whoever is riding with me can wait until I pull up next to people, then whip their steering wheel to the left real fast...

You mean like this? Except different?
2009-01-10 09:51:01 PM  

vicejay: I've owned a lot of beaters in my time.. but on the other side of the coin.. My favorite vehicle I've ever owned.. A 1985 Toyota Pickup

This was an indestructible little truck.. easy to work on.. great gas mileage.. and you could haul a decent-sized load and then park it anywhere.

It seems like they ("they?") should be able to manufacture & sell something like this today.. very basic 22-R-type engine, no eff'ing computer, four-on-the-floor, and an engine you can actually work on yourself.

//old days, good times I remember

Every foreign truck from that year was great. I had a Nissan 720 King Cab pickup that survived a head-on collision with three drunk kids in an SUV without so much as a scratch on the actual-metal bumper. The SUV (a brand-new 2005,) was totaled.

Gods, I miss that truck.
2009-01-10 10:52:08 PM  
1977 Chevy Nova. Paid $500.00 for it in the early '90s. If you stopped at a light, or stop sign. You had to hold down the gas and brake or it would die. One of the only two tickets i've ever gotten was from that. Failure to yield or something like that. I didnt come to a complete stop. I hated that car. As soon as I got something better, I sent it to be shredded.
2009-01-11 11:15:17 PM  
This is definitely one of the most enjoyable threads I have ever seen on Fark.

/Still laughing
2009-01-12 11:16:01 AM  

Sylvia_Bandersnatch: Mmmmkaay: Mmmmkaay: Finally in 03 I bought my 99 Jeep Grand Cherokee Lmt V8. I picked it up at about 64k and had to replace the transfer case immediately. After that I honestly have no complaints about it for the first three years, then it started going to hell. The blower moter went out and my heat blew hot on the drivers side and frigid cold on the passenger side. My radiator started leaking coolant at the rate of one bottle per week, the transmission started knocking and the axle started cracking. Earlier this year I parked at the commuter lot and returned to find a truck missing a hood, air filter coolant box in the engine! (All that but not the whole car!) I finally let her go at 140K, Chicago winters are too harsh to worry about that as a woman with no mechanical skills.

I just replaced her with a 04 VW Touareg V6 .. we'll see how it goes.

Oh and my airbag too .. the hood, the air filter box and the airbag. Stripped at the commuter rail lot .. they knew I'd be gone all day.

What was the ultimate fate of your Hyundai? Asking because I had one, too.

That farking pile of crap ... it's on the side of the road somewhere downstate. Constant problems with the catalytic converter, O2 sensor, overheating, leaks and who knows what else, the car would run for a month and be down the next three. I GAVE that car to my brother along with a list of things that I DID know should be repaired but with a warning. He did his best but the transmission eventually sprung a leak and he couldn't afford to fix it, after adding transmission fluid to drive it around for a while, but eventually had to put her down.
Displayed 27 of 377 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.