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(Jalopnik)   Buick shocks young people, builds car that doesn't smell like grandma's purse   (jalopnik.com) divider line 329
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37429 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Jan 2009 at 12:31 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-01-08 09:50:45 AM
I'd drive it.
 
2009-01-08 09:54:54 AM
I checked the pictures expecting an uncharacteristically funky-fresh, forward-looking design that would make me reconsider my image of the badge. What I got was another safe, boring, largely-indistinguishable sedan which will do squat to change the reputation of Buick as the car your Grandpa drove before he decided to pelletize himself and kick it on the mantelpiece.

Brand reinvention FAIL.
 
2009-01-08 09:59:42 AM
MaxxLarge: I checked the pictures expecting an uncharacteristically funky-fresh, forward-looking design that would make me reconsider my image of the badge. What I got was another safe, boring, largely-indistinguishable sedan which will do squat to change the reputation of Buick as the car your Grandpa drove before he decided to pelletize himself and kick it on the mantelpiece.

Brand reinvention FAIL.


Wait, "safe, boring, largely-indistinguishable sedan?" So Buick's new car is a Camry?
 
2009-01-08 10:02:26 AM
Nope, still don't like it.

Of course, the only three cars I'm considering are a Prius, an Insight and a Jetta TDI wagon.
 
2009-01-08 10:08:04 AM
I like the looks of the Roadmaster Coup they've got coming out for 2010.


img399.imageshack.us



Now that's going to turn heads.
 
2009-01-08 10:08:15 AM
Actually, the longer I look at it the more it looks like the Lexus IS250 (new window)
 
2009-01-08 10:10:52 AM
DetroitWonk: Wait, "safe, boring, largely-indistinguishable sedan?" So Buick's new car is a Camry?

Almost might as well be.

I've long said that if you lined up the flagship mid-size sedan from the new model year of every major maker, and took the emblems off...then took the average person off the street and asked them to match manufacturer with model? There's not a single person who'd do better than half.

Every year, we get exciting concept designs gleaming away on big turntables at the auto shows, and every year, they cannibalize the features of said concepts, and evenly distribute them over a whole line of cookie-cutter yawn-mobiles. It's the ultimate bait-and-switch tease, and it sucks.

Then they have the gall to wonder why they're failing.
 
2009-01-08 10:16:35 AM
It looks like you took a new Malibu front end and stuck it on a Lexus GS rear end from 2 years ago. And kind of gave it a vaguely Mercedes-like roof-line. Apparently new innovative design from Buick involves copying what was popular in 2007 and releasing it in 2010.

/Wake me for the Chevy Beat
 
2009-01-08 10:19:52 AM
TheYeti: Actually, the longer I look at it the more it looks like the Lexus IS250 (new window)

Yeah, I might have the wrong Lexus. There's a Lexus from the last two years or so that has lights and a trunk very much like that, and exhaust EXACTLY like that.
 
2009-01-08 10:23:07 AM
MaxxLarge: I've long said that if you lined up the flagship mid-size sedan from the new model year of every major maker, and took the emblems off...then took the average person off the street and asked them to match manufacturer with model? There's not a single person who'd do better than half.

That's not exactly a fair test. My wife couldn't tell the difference between a Yaris from a Silverado. I imagine she's not the only one.
 
2009-01-08 10:32:13 AM
MaxxLarge: I've long said that if you lined up the flagship mid-size sedan from the new model year of every major maker, and took the emblems off...then took the average person off the street and asked them to match manufacturer with model? There's not a single person who'd do better than half.

That's a test I'd be willing to take. I think I could match manufacturer because of design cues (like vertically split grilles for Pontiac and BMW, horizontally split for Chevy, and 4-way split for Dodge, vertical grille lines for Mercury and other things like that) but I doubt I could get model name.

Though I'm probably not average.
 
2009-01-08 10:34:30 AM
To be fair, Buick once made a car that wasn't for old people:
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2009-01-08 10:36:05 AM
Tastes Like Chicken: Though I'm probably not average.

I can sometimes tell a car's make and model by the shape of the headlights at night. I'm especially good at distingishing late model Saturns from Ford Police cruisers.
 
2009-01-08 10:51:39 AM
Grandma's purse had Paregoric in it.

/Smells like anise, packs a killer buzz

.
 
2009-01-08 11:05:33 AM
It's not bad looking, and the interior is a lot better than I've come to expect from GM.

If it's cheap enough, I'd probably consider buying one.
 
2009-01-08 11:35:16 AM
PoopStain: If it's cheap enough, I'd probably consider buying one.

Q: What happens after Grandma stops driving her Buick?
A: You find a poopstain in the driver's seat.
 
2009-01-08 11:54:50 AM
Wouldn't you really rather have a buICK?
 
TSD [TotalFark]
2009-01-08 12:22:46 PM
am I the only one that read purse as something else?

//not that I'd be down with smelling that either
 
2009-01-08 12:33:47 PM
They built a Camry?
 
2009-01-08 12:34:42 PM
This is all well and good, but now what will Grandma drive?
 
2009-01-08 12:34:44 PM
UNC_Samurai: To be fair, Buick once made a car that wasn't for old people:

Grand Nationals were very cool.
 
2009-01-08 12:35:55 PM
FTA: Over the last several decades, the idea of a Buick with flip-up DVD players in the rear passenger compartment would have elicited a question on whether a DVD box set of Matlock was included in the purchase price

Maybe I should do some research under the Geek tab, DVDs haven't been around "over the last several decades." Or am I wrong?
 
2009-01-08 12:36:30 PM
They have to wreck every Buick with those god awful chrome teeth grills, don't they?
 
2009-01-08 12:36:30 PM
I don't get it --

1. Buick is a brand for old people
2. they make a car that is completely indistinguishible from other brands

How is crazy old Nana going to find her car in the mall parking lot now?
 
2009-01-08 12:36:45 PM
Sybarite: I like the looks of the Roadmaster Coup they've got coming out for 2010.

Now that's going to turn heads.


OOOO me likey!

Buicks are boring, but my parents just bought an Encalve(the crossover SUV) and its one of the nicest, best laid out premium looking vehicles Ive seen and THE nicest thing ive seen from GM. Buick is trying!
 
2009-01-08 12:36:51 PM
Looks like the Lexus GS from the back...
 
2009-01-08 12:37:06 PM
img262.imageshack.us

/Oblig
 
2009-01-08 12:38:31 PM
UNC_Samurai: To be fair, Buick once made a car that wasn't for old people:

The Regal could still be considered a grannymobile. They created massive win out of it however.
 
2009-01-08 12:38:39 PM
Mom's purse smelled better. It smelled like Wrigley's spearmint gum.
 
2009-01-08 12:38:39 PM
Buicks are extremely reliable. Yes, I know they're the favored car of the walking dead, but they last forever.

Sorry it's not sexy enough for you guys who use your auto as a penis enlarger.
 
2009-01-08 12:39:27 PM
Grew up driving a light-blue Buick Century. We called it "The Blue Rocket". That thing could fly and still have a ride as smooth as a prom queen's thighs. Dad taking good care of it probably had a lot to do with that but I'm still convinced it was mostly the car.

Also had a biiiiig back seat. Hiya, Wendy!
 
2009-01-08 12:39:31 PM
Looks just like my mom's ES350. yawn
 
2009-01-08 12:39:53 PM
Probably too late to save the marque. Even my 82-year-old neighbor, a lifetime Buick buyer, just bought his first Accord.
 
2009-01-08 12:40:47 PM
Let's take a look at the different trim levels... automatic, automatic, and, yup, automatic.

Won't be buying one of these.
 
2009-01-08 12:41:05 PM
I'm still praying for beaming technology.
 
2009-01-08 12:41:27 PM
Birth Control 2 Major Tom: Buicks are extremely reliable. Yes, I know they're the favored car of the walking dead, but they last forever.

Sorry it's not sexy enough for you guys who use your auto as a penis enlarger.


They last forever because the walking dead only drive 20 miles a week and rarely over 45 miles per hour.
 
2009-01-08 12:41:36 PM
Soon all GM's will be "The Peoples" car. Please make a 50mpg car with our money. Kind of like AH did with the volkswagen.
 
2009-01-08 12:41:39 PM
Phil Moskowitz
They have to wreck every Buick with those god awful chrome teeth grills, don't they?

Only real teeth in the car.
 
2009-01-08 12:41:51 PM
feh. at best, meh.
 
2009-01-08 12:42:08 PM
The Icelander: Tastes Like Chicken: Though I'm probably not average.

I can sometimes tell a car's make and model by the shape of the headlights at night. I'm especially good at distingishing late model Saturns from Ford Police cruisers.


This skill has saved me soo many times. The only ones that can be kind of tricky are the VWs.
 
2009-01-08 12:43:38 PM
demonbug: Let's take a look at the different trim levels... automatic, automatic, and, yup, automatic.

Won't be buying one of these.


Like how that stick feels in your hand, huh?

/Got nothing
//will never drive a Buick
///no matter how they reinvent themselves
////attack of the slashies
 
2009-01-08 12:43:46 PM
i159.photobucket.com
 
2009-01-08 12:43:54 PM
What does Grandma's purse smell like? My Grandma probably had KY jelly in hers.

/that looks like an old persons car to me.
 
2009-01-08 12:44:00 PM
Looks good. I'd probably buy it if i could afford it.
 
2009-01-08 12:44:31 PM
Bah. Fark all of you.

I.
Want.
One.

/in four years, when it's time to replace the current commuter beater
 
2009-01-08 12:44:33 PM
What an ugly piece of @#$_)!
 
2009-01-08 12:44:34 PM
UNC_Samurai: To be fair, Buick once made a car that wasn't for old people:

I think it was basically an Olds Hurst 442.
 
2009-01-08 12:44:35 PM
"Buick shocks young people, builds car that doesn't smell like grandma's purse'

Agreed. It just looks like Grandma's ass ... or an Altima or Camry.
 
2009-01-08 12:46:10 PM
The Chinese one looks more classy
Link (new window)
Sybarite I still like this one a lil better
i42.tinypic.com
 
2009-01-08 12:46:23 PM
featurecreep: Birth Control 2 Major Tom: Buicks are extremely reliable. Yes, I know they're the favored car of the walking dead, but they last forever.

Sorry it's not sexy enough for you guys who use your auto as a penis enlarger.

They last forever because the walking dead only drive 20 miles a week and rarely over 45 miles per hour.


No, they last forever because the tolerances of the components is even higher than that of the Caddy. Used to sell cars. Worst job ever, but I learned a lot about them
 
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