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(The New York Times)   Barbie turns 50, finally accepts she will die childless and alone   (themoment.blogs.nytimes.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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3943 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2009 at 8:53 AM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-01-07 07:56:00 AM  
After she caught Ken in bed with GI Joe, she's never been the same.
 
2009-01-07 07:58:57 AM  
Maybe it's the lack of a vagina.
 
2009-01-07 08:02:54 AM  
Good thing she got over that 'couldn't possibly walk upright' thing.
 
2009-01-07 08:52:11 AM  
Aren't there kid barbies? Skipper or something like that? She had to come from somewhere. I think Barbie probably had her babies very young and managed to conceal the actual records from public consumption. I suppose she could have adopted, but what are the chances of finding some blonde haired blue-eyed kid to adopt in this day and age?
 
2009-01-07 08:57:07 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Aren't there kid barbies? Skipper or something like that? She had to come from somewhere. I think Barbie probably had her babies very young and managed to conceal the actual records from public consumption. I suppose she could have adopted, but what are the chances of finding some blonde haired blue-eyed kid to adopt in this day and age?


Skipper's her farking sist....

...

I swear I'm straight :(
 
2009-01-07 08:57:33 AM  
Currently Blood Elf Malibu Barbie lives as a Warlock with a Void walker and likes to play in WSG. Screw Ken when you can Fear someone and then have him killed by a floating blue demon....

Ok so I gave her a better life
 
2009-01-07 08:57:34 AM  
Start shopping...
 
2009-01-07 08:57:40 AM  
www.funny-potato.com
 
2009-01-07 08:57:45 AM  
Nothing sadder than an old beauty queen


/go ahead and strike the beauty
 
2009-01-07 08:59:05 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Aren't there kid barbies? Skipper or something like that? She had to come from somewhere. I think Barbie probably had her babies very young and managed to conceal the actual records from public consumption. I suppose she could have adopted, but what are the chances of finding some blonde haired blue-eyed kid to adopt in this day and age?


Thought they were Barbie's sisters/friends. Perish the thought of Babs having kids with that figure. They'd break her in half.
 
2009-01-07 08:59:36 AM  
Skipper was Barbie's "sister". Of course Skipper appeared after Barbie was an "exchange student" for 9 months.
 
2009-01-07 09:00:25 AM  

Nobodyn0se: Pocket Ninja: Aren't there kid barbies? Skipper or something like that? She had to come from somewhere. I think Barbie probably had her babies very young and managed to conceal the actual records from public consumption. I suppose she could have adopted, but what are the chances of finding some blonde haired blue-eyed kid to adopt in this day and age?

Skipper's her farking sist....

...

I swear I'm straight :(


I'm straight too, man. I'm straight too.

/farking sisters getting all their barbie shiat while I got shiat for toys myself.
 
2009-01-07 09:01:10 AM  
She may die alone... but she wasn't childless. She had more plastic poked in her than a Lite-Brite... the whore.
 
2009-01-07 09:01:11 AM  
Barbie headline, circa 2034. 'Barbie Found Dead In Playhouse With 93 Poseable Cats'
 
2009-01-07 09:01:21 AM  
I just thought way too long and hard of how a baby could turn 50 before I actually read the headline correctly.

/need sleep
//I hate graveyards!!!
 
2009-01-07 09:01:38 AM  
wait - madonna's older than barbie?
 
2009-01-07 09:02:29 AM  

boobsrgood: Start shopping...


clancifer
WINNAR!!!
+1
 
2009-01-07 09:02:58 AM  
It's a sad sad story - Barbie would have a daughter were it not for the ill-fated "Postpartum Depression Barbie" (comes complete with unopened bottle of meds and a bathtub).
 
2009-01-07 09:03:30 AM  

yadumey: Nobodyn0se: Pocket Ninja: Aren't there kid barbies? Skipper or something like that? She had to come from somewhere. I think Barbie probably had her babies very young and managed to conceal the actual records from public consumption. I suppose she could have adopted, but what are the chances of finding some blonde haired blue-eyed kid to adopt in this day and age?

Skipper's her farking sist....

...

I swear I'm straight :(

I'm straight too, man. I'm straight too.

/farking sisters getting all their barbie shiat while I got shiat for toys myself.


Yeah, yeah....

Let's go kill some animals and drink some beers or something...

And spit....
 
2009-01-07 09:04:44 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: After she caught Ken in bed with GI Joe, she's never been the same.


And the unrequited love for Malibu Stacey. Sad...
 
2009-01-07 09:05:25 AM  
but The Fark will live forever!

Long live The Fark!!
 
2009-01-07 09:05:28 AM  
I think everytime they gave her a baby it was because she was babysitting or a doctor or something.

www.lynneslovables.com
 
2009-01-07 09:05:38 AM  
What does she expect when she dates a "closet case" with no junk for so long ...
 
2009-01-07 09:06:03 AM  
One of my fondest memories from 1967 was throwing darts around the basement and one of them sticking right smack in the middle of a Barbie tit.

The 60's man. How great were they.
 
2009-01-07 09:06:35 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Well, at least it won't be in a prison in Lyon... probably.
 
2009-01-07 09:11:27 AM  
Maybe she can go abroad and adopt a chinese baby?
 
2009-01-07 09:11:53 AM  
So she's 50 years old in 2009. That means she was born in 19...umm...carry the one...damn it. Math is hard.
 
2009-01-07 09:13:10 AM  

rubi_con_man: Maybe she can go abroad and adopt a chinese baby?


Wait..isn't Barbie already a broad?
 
2009-01-07 09:15:29 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2009-01-07 09:16:27 AM  
Ken was never more than Barbies shopping buddy.... Isn't Theresa her "Life Partner"?
 
2009-01-07 09:17:11 AM  
I know somebody that's working on this campaign. Be ready for an onslaught of ads and other gimmicks/products by March.
 
2009-01-07 09:20:41 AM  
She looks good for her age!

Does anyone remember the scandal about "Growing Up Skipper"? Worth a trip to Wikipedia if you don't. ;)
 
2009-01-07 09:21:09 AM  
The silver lining? Her breasts are still firm. Way up firm and high.
 
2009-01-07 09:21:26 AM  

myalias1845: I think everytime they gave her a baby it was because she was babysitting or a doctor or something.


A girl doctor?!?! Those crazy Mattel people
 
2009-01-07 09:22:26 AM  
clancifer

Is it me or does that look like Sally Field??
 
2009-01-07 09:25:39 AM  

yadumey: /farking sisters getting all their barbie shiat while I got shiat for toys myself.


It took years for my parents to understand that I hated Barbies & much preferred to play w/my brother's GI Joes. He had all the cool gadgets--space capsule, dogsled, grappling hooks. What does Barbie get? Inflatable furniture & a hippie van. Boring.
 
2009-01-07 09:25:47 AM  

Nagaempress: Currently Blood Elf Malibu Barbie lives as a Warlock with a Void walker and likes to play in WSG. Screw Ken when you can Fear someone and then have him killed by a floating blue demon....

Ok so I gave her a better life


No. No, you didn't.
 
2009-01-07 09:26:11 AM  

Control_this: Way up firm and high.


+2 points of her own for you.
 
2009-01-07 09:28:53 AM  

Hang On Voltaire: myalias1845: I think everytime they gave her a baby it was because she was babysitting or a doctor or something.

A girl doctor?!?! Those crazy Mattel people


The fine print on the box actually says stripper. Hence the velcro on the wardrobe.
 
2009-01-07 09:28:54 AM  

brigid_fitch: Inflatable furniture & a hippie van. Boring.


Barbie's Bang Bus. Not boring.
 
2009-01-07 09:34:49 AM  

Rocktacula: Nagaempress: Currently Blood Elf Malibu Barbie lives as a Warlock with a Void walker and likes to play in WSG. Screw Ken when you can Fear someone and then have him killed by a floating blue demon....

Ok so I gave her a better life

No. No, you didn't.


I agree here, she could have been a Witch Hunter, carry around a pistol and a rapier building up accusations against Ken before leveling her pistol between his eyes and blowing him away with a blessed lead bullet.

WoW is for kids. Warhammer is what the adults play.

/WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
//threadjack complete
 
2009-01-07 09:35:13 AM  
I'd still hit it...
 
2009-01-07 09:36:41 AM  

brigid_fitch: What does Barbie get? Inflatable furniture & a hippie van. Boring.


You obviously missed the rare, short-lived "Woodstock" collection, complete with Barbie's own bong and stash ... :)
 
2009-01-07 09:43:24 AM  
i168.photobucket.com

Like Dick Clark, she hasn't maintained herself all that well.
 
2009-01-07 09:56:15 AM  
Cougar Barbie?

Also forced to raise hand as a straight male that knows who "Skipper" is...

I, too, blame it on an older sister.
 
2009-01-07 10:06:57 AM  
img384.imageshack.us

It is a sad story. In fact, its the opposite of the story of the Dread Pirate Roberts. You see, the Barbie you know today is not the original Barbie. She's a new fluff high school cheerleader who slept with Mr. Mattel. The last Barbie is living as a battered wife in a trailer park. She was not the original Barbie either. The original Barbie is connected to an oxygen tank in a nursing home in Patagonia dreaming of the glory days of giving head to the Ken twins.
 
2009-01-07 10:10:00 AM  
"Does Barbie come with Ken?"

"No, she fakes it with Ken; she comes with G.I.Joe..."
 
2009-01-07 10:17:21 AM  
I came here for barbie twins pics. disappointed.
 
2009-01-07 10:24:34 AM  
clancifer

That is the creepiest thing I've seen today. And I had breakfast at White Castle.
 
2009-01-07 10:36:44 AM  
They should have given her some little plastic cats to keep her company.
 
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