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(Fark)   Fark's 2008 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: July through September (details in thread)   (fark.com) divider line
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3297 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2008 at 11:32 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-12-29 10:09:30 AM  
Hello and welcome to Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2008--Round 3. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the TFers vote on the best. These are the 10 best headlines from July, September, and October of this year as voted. Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round, which we'll post later this week. The first two HOY quarterfinals for Jan-Mar and Apr - Jun were posted Friday and Saturday, and the voting is still open until the end of the day today. After the main HOY contest, I'll be posting a contest for each of the primary subtabs: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business, plus a voting thread dedicated entirely to puns and wordplay (my personal favorite every year).

Some of your favorites from July - September might not be on here. That may be for two reasons. Reason 1: there were over 25,000 greenlit headlines on Fark this year--and that's just for the main page. It takes a long time to sort out the best and sometimes some really good headlines get lost in that mix. For those, I apologize. There are also some that you might not see here because they've been moved to a separate contest (puns and wordplay especially fall into this category). Reason 2 is that the headlines need to be able to stand on their own. There were some incredibly funny Fark links this year that were awesome because the headline on its own wasn't funny, until you clicked the link, then it was AWESOME. But in this contest, the people that never saw the original linked article wouldn't get it. Feel free to link to any awesome headline you like to share the love, but don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like. Have fun!
 
2008-12-29 10:10:01 AM  
Also, I'd like to repeat something I mentioned last week: this contest would not have been possible except for the help of a lot of TF who helped me sort through tens of thousands of headlines to pick the very best, and they deserve special recognition at the top of this first thread. They are, in no particular order:

10.0.0.1, darkhorse23, Admiral_John, GAT_00, Demetrius, wegro, Paryb, Somebrunette, just kat, lady_nocturne, bulldg4life, Ennzie, hockeyfarker, DGAR, a_bilge_monkey, Sir Cumference the Flatulent, PetuniaPumpkin, Occam's Chainsaw, Arelas, , Wanebo, Barnacles!, rostit, Christi, ChubbyTiger, olavf, CarcinogenCrunchies, Catastrofark, Vegaswench, generalDisdain, menolikepoopybad, super_matt, DblDad, Speedofdarkness, MNguy, Sir Cumference the Flatulent, Warchild, Fishrockcarving, wakitu, kat, The NaSkAr, Alce_Liddell, El Chode, goenie goegoe, and rava

My record keeping was not as clean as I wanted, and I'm sure I'm missing several people from the above list that have helped. I apologize for missing your name, but my thanks are the same. As much as the submitters make Fark great, the effort of the people who put time into this is the main reason this contest is happening. Thanks.
 
2008-12-29 10:10:41 AM  
"Spam King" sentenced to 47 months of having his inbox filled with unsolicited male

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3753488
 
2008-12-29 10:16:15 AM  
Programmer uninstalls active ex that was clearing his cash

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3722697
 
2008-12-29 10:16:39 AM  
Autistic students get their own school. It's 125.67 feet long and made of 657,924 bricks

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3787712
 
2008-12-29 10:17:09 AM  
North Korea: We have developed a new kind of noodle that delays feelings of hunger. Rest of World: Congratulations. We call that "eating"

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3823611
 
2008-12-29 10:17:36 AM  
Now that certain words -- like the other word for donkey -- must be filtered on the Internet: President Abraham Lincoln was buttbuttinated by an armed buttailant after a life devoted to the reform of the U.S. consbreastution

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3842915
 
2008-12-29 10:18:03 AM  
Oral sex study finds that people only read the first two words of web headlines

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3883318
 
2008-12-29 10:19:44 AM  
Two swimmers dead, Juan Moore missing

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3732640
 
2008-12-29 10:20:09 AM  
Italy declares a state of emergency in Pompeii. Well, better late than never

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3714692
 
2008-12-29 10:20:42 AM  
MILFish math teacher learns that 17 does not go into 35 without a serious remainder

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3740363
 
2008-12-29 10:21:50 AM  
Man found guilty of attempted murder after shooting a neighbor he thought was another neighbor whom he claims sodomized his cat, thus turning it gay. Confused? You won't be after this episode of Soap

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3776202
 
2008-12-29 10:22:15 AM  
Pzyssenzyr jet cryzashzys in Kyrgyzstan

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3824594
 
2008-12-29 10:22:38 AM  
Dust storm chases hundreds of filthy hippies away from Burning Man festival, marking first time hippies have fled from dirt

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3839416
 
2008-12-29 10:23:24 AM  
"Band-aid" rapist gets 11 years of Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson & Johnson

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3883445
 
2008-12-29 10:23:46 AM  
We've secretly replaced this mugger's intended victim with a four time national karate champion. Let's see if anyone notices

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3865447
 
2008-12-29 10:24:14 AM  
Man accused of setting sleeping man's pants on fire. Police to question the victim as to motive, but expect that he may not tell the truth

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3846495
 
2008-12-29 10:24:43 AM  
Eighteen-year-old's body found at Gilligan's Island park after a one-hour search. A one-hour search

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3704549
 
2008-12-29 10:25:36 AM  
Trailer full of donations catches fire at Missouri Goodwill store, creating dangerous amounts of second-hand smoke

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3767572
 
2008-12-29 10:30:16 AM  
 
2008-12-29 10:32:09 AM  
Copper thieves prevent cancer patients from receiving radiation treatment. Still no Cu for cancer

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3772914
 
2008-12-29 10:32:53 AM  
Louisiana law allows teachers to bring in "supplemental textbooks" about evolution, demonstrating Creationist tactics taking on subtle changes over time, improving their chances to survive in today's scholastic environment

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3830967
 
2008-12-29 10:33:20 AM  
Man wins damages after being fired because he was bipolar. He's reportedly ecstatic. Nope, devastated. Oops, ecstatic agai ... hold on, he's distraught

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3825260
 
2008-12-29 10:33:47 AM  
FDA approves radiation of spinach, warns that if eaten in large quantities, the irradiated spinach may cause blindness in one eye, huge forearm tumors

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3819612
 
2008-12-29 10:34:15 AM  
Hello muddah, hello faddah / Caught some pervs at / Camp Granada / Something something / 'bout my peener / Also, handing Playboy out's a misdemeanor

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3817501
 
2008-12-29 10:34:38 AM  
Iran launches satellite into space, re-entry expected somewhere over Tel Aviv

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3808925
 
2008-12-29 10:35:01 AM  
Comic book store owner sentenced to home confinement by court, lifestyle

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3883979
 
2008-12-29 10:35:37 AM  
Bride dies of a "sore throat" ten days after she got married. Must have been one hell of a honeymoon

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3869218
 
2008-12-29 10:36:13 AM  
Paralympics wheelchair basketball player kicked out of event for taking banned drug contained in his hair loss treatment product. There's gonna be hell toupee for this

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3862589
 
2008-12-29 10:36:34 AM  
Woman stabs ex-boyfriend at Vulcan Village. Victim expected to live long, prosper

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3852679
 
2008-12-29 10:37:02 AM  
Britain has such a chronic shortage of midwives that they are each forced to juggle three births at the same time. This might not be such a big problem were it not for the ceiling fans

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3889134
 
2008-12-29 10:39:03 AM  
Simultaneous terrorist bomb attacks reported in Istanbul and Constantinople

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3763126
 
2008-12-29 10:49:54 AM  
There were some seriously quality headlines in this time-frame. Much better than the previous one. :D
 
2008-12-29 10:57:44 AM  
Did round 2 ever get greenlit?
 
2008-12-29 11:02:49 AM  

JackAssHole: Did round 2 ever get greenlit?



Yes.
 
2008-12-29 11:07:07 AM  
Yeah this was a great round.
 
2008-12-29 11:16:57 AM  

Unfreakable: JackAssHole: Did round 2 ever get greenlit?


Yes.


Ah, 'cause when I saw it, it wasn't even light green.
 
2008-12-29 11:28:41 AM  

JackAssHole: Ah, 'cause when I saw it, it wasn't even light green.


Oh, I bet you're thinking about the TF-only thread for December. Those voting threads set up these mainpage quarterfinals. Voting for the HOY candidates early is a TF perk.
 
2008-12-29 11:31:18 AM  
Apparently people are funniest in summer.
 
2008-12-29 11:32:32 AM  
There were some really good ones in this round.
 
2008-12-29 11:34:09 AM  
dugitman: Apparently people are funniest in summer. Screw off at work more in the summer.

FTFY
 
2008-12-29 11:34:33 AM  

40below: There were some really good ones in this round.


Agreed.
 
2008-12-29 11:38:07 AM  
Teacher found guilty of cramming 13 people at once into his Volvo. Paris Hilton congratulates him on breaking her record before realizing she misunderstood the statement

My vote for headline of the year!
 
2008-12-29 11:41:50 AM  
Swat stops twat swap

My votey
 
2008-12-29 11:42:40 AM  
Can I rescind my votes on the previous two lame HOY threads? Juan Moore is the only deserving headline of the year.
 
2008-12-29 11:43:14 AM  
The "Spam King" one could have been the runaway winner if it had been "... 47 months of receiving unsolicited male junk" as suggested in the thread back then. Still a good headline, though.
 
2008-12-29 11:48:04 AM  
Yep, these are all good juans.
 
2008-12-29 11:50:01 AM  

skwerl: Juan Moore is the only deserving headline of the year.


I'll just have to go and disagree with you there.
 
2008-12-29 11:52:38 AM  

Headline of the Year candidate: Now that certain words -- like the other word for donkey -- must be filtered on the Internet: President Abraham Lincoln was buttbuttinated by an armed buttailant after a life devoted to the reform of the U.S. consbreastution

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3842915


Failure to vote for this headline consbreastutes hatred of freedom and all that is awesome.
 
2008-12-29 11:53:20 AM  
Hey, I'd like to see my headline at least get some sort of honorable mention. It got greenlit twice, and red-lighted 3 times all in the same night. That's at least got to be some sort of FARK record. Not to mention of course how it made people sick either.

Does anyone remember how that guy on the Grayhoud Bus in Canada, and how his fellow passenger thought he was so delicious? (new window)
 
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