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(Fark)   Fark's 2008 Headline of the Year contest, Round 1: January through March (details in thread)   ( divider line
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6167 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2008 at 2:05 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2008-12-26 01:32:06 PM  
Hello and welcome to Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2008. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the totalfarkers vote on the best. These are the 10 best headlines from January, February, and March of this year as voted. Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round, which we'll post next week. Yes, that means there will be three more threads just like this. There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business, plus a voting thread dedicated entirely to puns and wordplay. I wanted to do a Parents of the Year and Dumbass of the Year contest as well, but it was too time-consuming and I wanted to get you this contest before 2009.

Now some of your favorites from January-March might not be on here. That's for two reasons. Reason 1: there were over 25,000 greenlit headlines on Fark this year-and that's just for the main page. It takes a long time to sort out the best and sometimes some really good headlines get lost in that mix. For those, I apologize. There are also some that you might not see here because they've been moved to a separate contest (puns especially fall into this category). Reason 2 is that the headlines need to be able to stand on their own. There were some incredibly funny Fark links this year that were awesome because the headline on its own wasn't funny, until you clicked the link, then it was AWESOME. But in this contest, the people that never saw the original linked article wouldn't get it. Feel free to link to any awesome headline you like to share the love, but don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like. Happy voting!
2008-12-26 01:33:50 PM  
One additional note: this contest would not have been possible except for the help of a lot of TF who helped me sort through tens of thousands of headlines to pick the very best, and they deserve special recognition at the top of this first thread. They are, in no particular order:, darkhorse23, Admiral_John, GAT_00, Demetrius, wegro, Paryb, Somebrunette, just kat, lady_nocturne, bulldg4life, Ennzie, hockeyfarker, DGAR, a_bilge_monkey, Sir Cumference the Flatulent, PetuniaPumpkin, Occam's Chainsaw, Arelas, , Wanebo, Barnacles!, rostit, Christi, ChubbyTiger, olavf, CarcinogenCrunchies, Catastrofark, Vegaswench, generalDisdain, menolikepoopybad, super_matt, DblDad, Speedofdarkness, MNguy, Sir Cumference the Flatulent, Warchild, Fishrockcarving, wakitu, kat, The NaSkAr, Alce_Liddell, El Chode, goenie goegoe, and rava

My record keeping was not as clean as I wanted, and I'm sure I'm missing several people from the above list that have helped. I apologize for missing your name, but my thanks are the same. As much as the submitters make Fark great, the effort of the people who put time into this is the main reason this contest is happening.

Thank you.
2008-12-26 01:36:09 PM  
Explosion at winery leaves workers weak bodied with a rich red hue, containing discernible hints of charred debris and strong character best described as dead
2008-12-26 01:38:19 PM  
Hydrogen peroxide enemas put Russian tourists in the hospital. In related news, there are now a bunch of blonde a-holes running around in Russia
2008-12-26 01:38:44 PM  
Court says Mom can't sue over circumcision. Thanks for the tip
2008-12-26 01:39:25 PM  
Two Amtrak trains stranded near Donner Pass. There are 400 passengers, so they are not expected to run out of food
2008-12-26 01:40:05 PM  
Five killed and dozens injured in perfume factory fire. EAU DE HUMANITY
2008-12-26 01:40:39 PM  
Smoking named 'the most offensive thing you can do in someone else's house', narrowly edging out "their wife"
2008-12-26 01:42:13 PM  
Last German WWI veteran dies at age 107. WE WIN
2008-12-26 01:42:44 PM  
Cougar to be fitted with tracking device after being tagged by 15-year old boy
2008-12-26 01:43:15 PM  
The itsy bitsy penis was in the book, no doubt. U.S. publishers said air-brush the penis out. German illustrator angrily complained. Now the itsy bitsy penis is in the book again
2008-12-26 01:44:05 PM  
Looking for some thrills? The occasionally interactive big cat exhibit at the San Francisco zoo just reopened
2008-12-26 01:45:01 PM  
Male prostitute strangled two men and their cat because he wanted money for heroin. It is unclear just how much money the cat had
2008-12-26 01:45:34 PM  
Man killed in go-kart accident. Authorities suspect it was a red shell
2008-12-26 01:46:21 PM  
Man killed in Columbia house explosion. No word on if he'll still get 12 CDs for 1¢
2008-12-26 01:46:47 PM  
Chef Paul Prudhomme has bullet bounce off him. I shot the chef, but I did not shoot the maître d'
2008-12-26 01:47:21 PM  
There's now a lip gloss on the market some say will help you lose weight. Must be made with superglue
2008-12-26 01:48:02 PM  
Six missing snowmobiliers found alive and hungry, which is good news for the most delicious looking one
2008-12-26 01:48:30 PM  
Binge drinking in UK starts at 13, by which they mean 1pm GST
2008-12-26 01:49:24 PM  
Custodian busted for having sex with junior high student, inadvertently earns high school teaching credential
2008-12-26 01:50:09 PM  
Naomi Campbell, of all people, sits down for interview with Hugo Chavez, proving once again that the problem isn't that there are too many fools on Earth but rather that lightning bolts are improperly distributed
2008-12-26 01:50:45 PM  
Aggressive coyote shot and killed near Colorado ski resort, rocket-powered ACME skis confiscated
2008-12-26 01:51:16 PM  
Women robs bank with... whatchamacallit... candy. Because she's not a butterfingers, she left no evidence behind. Be on the lookout for a chunky suspect on 5th Avenue who might have as much as 100 grand
2008-12-26 01:51:59 PM  
Pope criticizes science for not protecting human dignity. This from a guy who wears an origami hat
2008-12-26 01:52:39 PM  
PETA activist changes her name from Rachel Feather to Rachel FishingHurts. One letter off from a new career in porn
2008-12-26 01:53:13 PM  
Cops looking for fake Target clerk who stole 17 grand in iPods. Store managers realized he wasn't a real clerk when he actually helped customers
2008-12-26 01:54:31 PM  
Suicide assistance agency sets up next to a brothel. Now you can come and go
2008-12-26 01:55:27 PM  
The man who wrote "Roget's Thesaurus" is written up in a book. He is agape, agog, alarmed, amazed, anxious, appalled, astonished, astounded, and awestruck by this development
2008-12-26 01:55:59 PM  
Spitzer will pull out within the hour, or around $4900 from now
2008-12-26 01:56:43 PM  
Russian invents "ladies only" vodka. It's the same as regular vodka except once a month the bottle swells up and can be found in the cookie aisle
2008-12-26 01:57:28 PM  
Bin Laden to release video titled "The response will be what you see, not what you hear." Next video to be romantic comedy entitled "Jihad me at hello"
2008-12-26 02:03:55 PM  
Delay-weary airport passengers turning to ferries faster than college freshmen at their first Young Republicans meeting
2008-12-26 02:13:17 PM  
Could have been better choices?
2008-12-26 02:14:53 PM  
Maybe you could also note the tag types?
2008-12-26 02:16:17 PM  

Awesome T-Shirt: Could have been better choices?

There will be more choices later. Hence the "round 1" in the headline.
2008-12-26 02:17:11 PM  
given that none of those are mine I am disinclined to bother with it

/I only vote for myself
2008-12-26 02:17:17 PM  
I voted for a few, but the candy headline was by far my favorite and the wittiest.

There's some solid choices here.
2008-12-26 02:21:18 PM  
Some of these still make me laugh, even though I've seen them several times.
/Can't wait for round 2
2008-12-26 02:22:06 PM  
I submitted this with a better headline
2008-12-26 02:23:13 PM  
There, did my democratic duty

/now where's my cookie?
2008-12-26 02:23:40 PM  
Lotta good ones in here....votes entered!
2008-12-26 02:24:38 PM  
Nice work Unfreakable.
2008-12-26 02:36:33 PM  
2008-12-26 02:37:13 PM  
So if you win HOTY do you get anything?
2008-12-26 02:38:28 PM  
Good job Unfreakable. I know this must be a ton of work for you...
2008-12-26 02:39:43 PM  
So if you win HOTY do you get anything?

Why yes. A free colonoscopy.

i97.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-12-26 02:43:41 PM  
"occasionally interactive" from the SF Zoo one is a wonderful turn of phrase and whoever wrote that got my vote and my undying admiration.

Well maybe not undying but I may tell one or two other people about it before I go to bed tonight and forget it.
2008-12-26 02:44:02 PM  
the link is broken, everytime i clicked it kept taking me back to Fark main page
2008-12-26 02:49:50 PM  
Damn it, was mine too offensive for a consideration?

"Obama tax plan will retard growth, job creation" as opposed to Palin's plan of job growth and retard creation (new window)
2008-12-26 02:50:52 PM  
Jihad me at hello... classic
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