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(Jalopnik)   Ten cars and the type of women they attract   (jalopnik.com) divider line 327
    More: Amusing  
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44274 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2008 at 4:55 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-12-26 10:52:43 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: Darth Invictus: H_is_for_Heretic: Maybe people who don't know what a man looks like. Bare, hairless chests make me puke. If you have hair like that and someone convinces you to remove it to be more atractive, you've let some kind of societal sickness too far into your head.

LOL I just checked your profile, and I'll bet you and Lady Invictus would get along famously.

/loves me some Rasputina!
//check out Dresden Dolls if you haven't already

6 years on fark, and that's the very first Rasputina mention of which I'm aware. I love you both.


Thanks, m'lady. Loading up "Transylvanian Concubine" and "The Old Headboard" in your honor! Lady Invictus voted for "Gingerbread Coffin".
 
2008-12-26 10:53:47 PM  
My idea for the next great internet meme: hotgirlsdrivingpriuses.com.
 
2008-12-26 10:55:45 PM  
Ratbert42: The Honda CR-V is like an after-school ice cream truck for chunky lesbians.

LOL
 
2008-12-26 10:56:44 PM  
I know what you've chosen to share, which added together makes you look like John Fitzgereald Page's douchier cousin. That's the problem with bragging on the internet. Remember, every room you leave...hehehe

I wish you'd just lick your wounds and walk away. You lost. Get over it. Or ad hominen some more. It's all you got really. And you know it. I'm so sorry. If you had more substance, you'd have more to offer. *shrug*
 
2008-12-26 10:56:57 PM  
xpennyroyaltyx: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: xpennyroyaltyx: i drive a '08 Toyota Matrix AWD. What kind of guy does that attract?

Me. That's the best Toyota out right now.

I needed an AWD vehicle that wasn't an SUV (though i really, really, really wanted a RAV). I was tempted (briefly) to buy a Vibe, but after a test drive, i wansn't happy. Besides, after my Shadow and Escorts both crapped out on me in very expensive ways, i decided that i would never, ever go domestic.

I love it, though. money well-spent.


That's strange because the only difference between a Vibe and a Matrix is the exterior of the car.
 
2008-12-26 10:59:10 PM  
Going to go get me an old school hotrod immediatly.
/ What kind of car attracts women with really big hooters?
// Arrgh! Lite beer!
///Noooooooooooooooooo!
 
2008-12-26 11:01:04 PM  
StretchCannon:

I wish you'd just lick your wounds and walk away. You lost. Get over it. Or ad hominen some more. It's all you got really. And you know it. I'm so sorry. If you had more substance, you'd have more to offer. *shrug*


Hehehe. Enjoy the last word.
 
2008-12-26 11:06:44 PM  
Hehehe. Enjoy the last word.

i191.photobucket.com

Oh, that's the last word there. I hope my happiness absolutely kills you.
 
2008-12-26 11:10:15 PM  
SuperDeezie: Old chicks dig my PT cruiser. They slow down just to see it.... wait.... they just drive slow. damn.

i love PT Cruisers. They look like puppies!

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: That's strange because the only difference between a Vibe and a Matrix is the exterior of the car.

I know. Same chassis, different panels and all that. Purely esoteric. Some minor dash/dial/interior differences. I just couldn't shake the dread that buying a GM/Pontiac would be a bad idea. I've had friends and family who've ended up with GMLemons. Not so much with a Toyota.
 
2008-12-26 11:11:33 PM  
Ima4nic8or: Nobody should ever buy a car thinking it will attact women. Buy what you enjoy driving. Screw what other people think of it, especially what the vaginaed people think of it. The one or two very rare occasions where I have had a chick respond to my car, it was not a chick I'd want to poke.

Spoken like someone who drives a sensible Japanese import...
 
2008-12-26 11:11:34 PM  
StretchCannon:

Oh, that's the last word there. I hope my happiness absolutely kills you.


She's pretty.
 
2008-12-26 11:12:45 PM  
ilikechocolatemilk: Meh. You straight boys are over-rated... I drive a...

I have that exact rig in midnight blue. Company ride, all bills pid including gas. Haven't had a lot of cawk waved at me, but chicks seem to appreciate it. Of course, I may not be particularly attractive to other guys. Especially if they dig the carpet look.
 
2008-12-26 11:13:13 PM  
StretchCannon: Hehehe. Enjoy the last word.



Oh, that's the last word there. I hope my happiness absolutely kills you.


www.txquarterhorses.com

+

imagecache2.allposters.com

=
i191.photobucket.com

I know this moots the last word thing, but damn you made that easy.
 
2008-12-26 11:15:30 PM  
She's pretty.

She's beyond pretty. We like the same poets, the same music, the same books, the same movies, etc. She loved my writing, I loved her writing. We were just friends for about a year, then reality happened. Not planned. Not forced. Definitely not expected. She was two years out of armegeadon relationship, and I was a year out of one. Friend that just happened to hook up in NYC to "hang out". I was up there on business. Taught her how to drive stick in my 533i. Lucky girl. Never was looking, but it found me. First time it found me. Hope it lasts forever.
 
2008-12-26 11:15:32 PM  
I've hit more ass - while driving the most crungy beaters youse has ever seen, than a dodgy screen door at a convent.

Here is a big hint, guys:

She wants you or she doesn't and if your car has ANYTHING to do with it, she wants your car.

The rest is just commercials from car makers with some bint with half her junk hanging out smiling saucily at a camera and stroking the company's product, lovingly, and getting paid for it.
 
2008-12-26 11:17:11 PM  
StretchCannon: She's pretty.

She's beyond pretty. We like the same poets, the same music, the same books, the same movies, etc. She loved my writing, I loved her writing. We were just friends for about a year, then reality happened. Not planned. Not forced. Definitely not expected. She was two years out of armegeadon relationship, and I was a year out of one. Friend that just happened to hook up in NYC to "hang out". I was up there on business. Taught her how to drive stick in my 533i. Lucky girl. Never was looking, but it found me. First time it found me. Hope it lasts forever.


Wow.. pretty AND beautiful. : )

Godspeed, you guys.
 
2008-12-26 11:17:22 PM  
I know this moots the last word thing, but damn you made that easy.

Now you just look like the loser that you are. I feel so sorry for anybody that called you a friend.
 
2008-12-26 11:18:37 PM  
AuCinaoaMie: Out of all the cars I own, none of them fit any of those categories.

Its a good thing I dont need a website or anything else to tell me what type of woman is attracted to me. I already know and have known for years.


The easy ones.


Lucky dog; I have a magnet in my head that attracts psycho biatches.
 
2008-12-26 11:20:57 PM  
carniemechanic: AuCinaoaMie: Out of all the cars I own, none of them fit any of those categories.

Its a good thing I dont need a website or anything else to tell me what type of woman is attracted to me. I already know and have known for years.


The easy ones.

Lucky dog; I have a magnet in my head that attracts psycho biatches.


Expect a visit from my ex any day now.
 
2008-12-26 11:22:19 PM  
treesloth: So who will my windowless late 80's van full of candy attract?

www.observer.com

/link it like it's hot
 
2008-12-26 11:22:25 PM  
StretchCannon: I know this moots the last word thing, but damn you made that easy.

Now you just look like the loser that you are. I feel so sorry for anybody that called you a friend.


I made you post a picture of your SO on the internet. I officially won. Aside from being in a great relationship, I'm hotter with the flu than that chick on her best day. Assuming that is what you were attempting to prove with the photo. I'm just playing shallow here- you're the real pro.
 
2008-12-26 11:23:14 PM  
HOLY CRAP PATTON OSWALT

a790.ac-images.myspacecdn.com

i191.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-26 11:28:23 PM  
I made you post a picture of your SO on the internet. I officially won. Aside from being in a great relationship, I'm hotter with the flu than that chick on her best day. Assuming that is what you were attempting to prove with the photo. I'm just playing shallow here- you're the real pro.

You be as shallow as you want as if it wasn't already obvious. I'll stick with the brilliant girl. I've had my fill of shallow runway types. And if it wasn't obvious, you lost the highground the second you started criticizing people for their looks. This is fark. We aren't all beautiful people. We are mostly *real* people with real lives. So you go ahead and grief me for my infinite happiness while everyone here hates you for your elitist tripe. kay?
 
2008-12-26 11:33:34 PM  
StretchCannon: They missed a type of car that's a goldmine.

Oldschool devotee enthusiast cars. Women don't even know what they are most of the time, but they know they sound sexy and don't look like every other car on the road. The ones that *do* know what they are, want to talk to bang the guy driving it.
FTFY.

This is true. This is very true. I could tell you tales involving first and second-gen Honda CRXes that would read like a very nerdy and highly auto-related version of Penthouse letters.

And yes, it is indeed possible to fark in one if you're of relatively light build and flexible. I have a neat little scar on my back from the time when we had the steering wheel off, as well as a fresh set of marks on my wrists from just earlier this evening. It's so little, people don't look in the windows when they're fogged up in wintertime...but oh, if they did... Of course, the sight of me handcuffed to the headrest in nothing but a winter coat only seems to appeal to engineery males. Maybe it's the glasses.

/stock-cherry '87 with aftermarket sunroof FTW.
 
2008-12-26 11:34:12 PM  
StretchCannon: I made you post a picture of your SO on the internet. I officially won.

Oh, for fark's sake.

What are you, 9?

I got no dog in this fight but that's lamer than shiat.
 
2008-12-26 11:34:32 PM  
I have never once been attracted to a guy because of the vehicle he drove. Though I have been turned off by them.

You drive a Hummer? Yeah, so do I. IN THE ARMY. No Civilian needs one. They are a wasteful status symbol and unless you can give me a good reason why you have one I'm going to assume it's because you are a tool.

I don't see the point of being car poor. I will never buy a new car and I will never lease one. I prefer to save up and buy a decent, trustworthy vehicle that I can pay cash for. That way I have more money left over for beer.
 
2008-12-26 11:40:08 PM  
This is true. This is very true.

It was for me. My first "enthusiast" car was an imported s14 silvia. I had secured a 240sx in awesome condition, and was going to import an s14 silvia front clip to do an sr20det conversion, and realized I wanted the whole car. So I talked to a supplier and was like "how much to just get the whole damn car?" and he surprised me by saying "4 grand". So I got the car, and it only had 23,000 miles on it. It felt like a travesty to part it out. So I check with PA law, and I was able to register the car as a "project car". So long story short, between 2001-2003 in the state of Pennsylvania around Harrisburg if you saw a genuine s14 silvia, right hand drive, that was me. That car got me laid something fierce.
 
2008-12-26 11:41:13 PM  
I've owned 70 vehicles.

Seriously.

Most were just beaters for dirty work, some were rather nice, a couple were drool worthy.

But not once did it ever occur to me to equate it with getting laid and I never understood the guys who did.
 
2008-12-26 11:44:53 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: I know this moots the last word thing, but damn you made that easy.

StretchCannon seems pretty happy.

You just seem bitter. Troll.
 
2008-12-26 11:47:19 PM  
i4.photobucket.com

LOL

I'm a runway type!



/god I love this magic box
//how will I ever disprove "infinite happiness"
 
2008-12-26 11:48:33 PM  
StretchCannon: Hehehe. Enjoy the last word.



Oh, that's the last word there. I hope my happiness absolutely kills you.


I bet she's homeschooled.
 
2008-12-26 11:50:54 PM  
StretchCannon: between 2001-2003

Aww. What happened to it? I always thought the Silvia was underrated, and it IS conceivable that I saw yours, though I've only been out to Harrisburg a couple of times. I've only ever seen maybe four of them, and two were at car-enthusiast events.

And PA law is madness for cars. When we move back there next year, we're probably going to have to register every vehicle we own with 'project' status, just because of the in-progress mods and incomplete restoration jobs. Most of the almost-done is my fault...Hondas are a biatchkitten for body work and forget finding original seats in good shape. (I'm probably going to resort to racing seats with five-points -the fanboy modder crap's just easier to find than stock-restoration stuff.) We currently have just the two first-gen CRXes, one that was this close to perfect and one that was a near-junkyard reclamation job. We had a second-gen, but a relative needed a car for work during the Gas Price Crisis and greater love hath no tuner than he who sells his CRX DX to an in-law.

So, yeah, cars...
 
2008-12-26 11:53:02 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: ilikechocolatemilk: Aw DAMMIT Heretic.....

LAG

Make it up to you with some hot orgy pics?

sticky (new window)
kinky (new window)

Thought you'd like that.


Hawt
 
2008-12-26 11:57:13 PM  
StretchCannon: I know this moots the last word thing, but damn you made that easy.

OK, ya'll make a cute couple!

/prolly neither one of ya hairy enough for me
//but oh well, i'm collared anyways
 
2008-12-26 11:58:04 PM  
And on another note, I've done boosted 4's, I had a 68 charger with a 440 painted black with anarchy symbols where the dukes of hazzard stuff would be (saw it if you were in atlanta in the late 90's), and an honest to goodness lotus esprit turbo. Nothing is as fun to drive as old boxer flat 6's, and bmw inline 6's, my personal preference being the latter. There are faster cars. There are better handling cars. But it's about "seat of your pants" driving. On the cheap, 1990 or better 535i's, 83 and 84 533i's(because of the gear driven cams), e28 m5's, anything with an s38 (god bless your soul if you can score an e24 m6), any 911 made before 1988, or any boxter made. Only new car (other than the new 335i if you can get over the bangle butt) that has *that* feeling. There's something about 6 cylinders in a porsche or bmw that puts a smile on my face. Like a song by The Pixies.
 
2008-12-26 11:58:44 PM  
Senordos13: 2003 GTI (VR6)--

I'm ok with some pierced up freak. In fact, I prefer it.


I drive a 2006 GTI and the BF drives a 2004 R32.

I've never "fit" in as any type of stereotype but if "scenester" is the type to go for GLIs, then my tongue piercing and skinny jeans can be used as evidence.
 
2008-12-27 12:04:00 AM  
bunner:

I got no dog in this fight but that's lamer than shiat.


Having read a post or two of yours in the past, your opinion means less to me than you will ever know.
 
2008-12-27 12:15:18 AM  
Aww. What happened to it?

Remember that horrible ice storm in 2004? Lets just leave it at that. I really loved that car. Seriously though, as someone that has gone through a series (and grenaded a bunch) of highly boosted 4's, spend a tiny bit on a naturally aspirated inline 6 and see if that doesn't become your favorite. Turned me right round like a record baby right round round round.
 
2008-12-27 12:19:44 AM  
treesloth: So who will my windowless late 80's van full of candy attract?

Action 7 News and the police.
 
2008-12-27 12:24:53 AM  
mebiuspower: /Porsche FTW.

What the hell, was that taken at EA Canada?
 
2008-12-27 12:57:53 AM  
brigid_fitch: Glitchwerks: Who exactly is Integra Girl, and why the fark is she so damn scary looking?

Some Integra owner's sexy girlfriend (new window)


How the hell... you own the internet. If I had ps skills you would be gettin' some sort of plaque right now.
 
2008-12-27 01:05:17 AM  
img135.imageshack.us

Not mine, but when I had my '93 Civic Hatchback, I had more sex with more women than ever before. Met my wife while I had that car. Sold it to some guy I used to work with for $500. After 7 years, it had over 180k miles, a cracked head gasket and smelled like pizza.
 
2008-12-27 01:29:08 AM  
Malbar quoting me:

"Ima4nic8or: Nobody should ever buy a car thinking it will attact women. Buy what you enjoy driving. Screw what other people think of it, especially what the vaginaed people think of it. The one or two very rare occasions where I have had a chick respond to my car, it was not a chick I'd want to poke.

Malbar: "Spoken like someone who drives a sensible Japanese import..."

I plead mostly guilty. My commuter is an 03 Corolla. The family car (and my weekend sporty/fun but not entirely juvenile car) is a 2007 subaru legacy spec b. My completely juvenile, driven once a month, makes me feel 18 again, even though I am 41, married, fat, and balding car is a 97 z28 that I have modified quite a bit.
 
2008-12-27 01:54:05 AM  
Meh, women will make exceptions for bad cars as long as there is a good story behind it. My only car when I met my wife:

media.motortopia.com

Not mine, but same year and model. Barely ran. I was living in downtown DC and my job gave me free parking, but I lived two blocks from work s I didn't have a car. My twin brother bought that car and couldn't keep it because his wife pitched a fit, so he drove it out and parked it in my space.

Parking garage rules for the job required that your car could not stay in the same spot for more than 4 weeks. For the first three months, the car actually started and moved to another spot. For a few months after that, I had a friend at work with a hitch and we could drag it and push it to another spot. Then, because I work with engineers, we realized we could drag it up to the top level of the garage and let it go down half a floor every fourth week in neutral.

I met my wife when it was down to the fourth floor, but it started on the eighth. I even brought her along to move it one month.

She loved telling that story, even right after it happened, and this was a woman working for a Big Five law firm in NY. She was royally pissed when she found out my brother sold the non-working car before it made it to the bottom of the parking garage. I was a little pissed, too.
 
2008-12-27 01:55:57 AM  
Mine..

MINE MINE MINE...
46,000 original KM's
230 HP, 34/64 split permanent all wheel drive, all wheel steering, boxer 6 engine from a porsche 911. Right hand drive.

/Where da women at?

dl-client.getdropbox.com

\\seats are leather
 
2008-12-27 02:13:07 AM  
i wasnt going to do it, but if were showing off our cars now...

freshly washed and waxed.
img71.imageshack.us
 
2008-12-27 02:51:22 AM  
I'm getting a Subaru. I hear those are chick magnets.

img365.imageshack.us
 
2008-12-27 03:02:13 AM  
Austin Maestro?

i99.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-27 03:09:41 AM  
And what should my del sol be getting me?
 
2008-12-27 03:14:08 AM  
mentaluproar: And what should my del sol be getting me?

pity
 
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