FARK.com: (4102090) Today is Festivus. Air your grievances to the right

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		Today is Festivus. Air your grievances to the right (miamiherald.com)		628
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11708 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2008 at 10:22 AM | Favorite | share:

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bmckenna		2008-12-23 08:54:20 AM

to my dad, thanks for suddenly and without warning cutting my younger sister off and making her pay her medical bills which are 3x her annual income, since she's still a student and works all of 10 hours a week.

to my brother, stop spending all your money on booze and drugs and start saving for your future, or at least get me that birthday present from 2 years ago that you've been promising you'd get.

happy festivus!

zymosan		2008-12-23 09:01:46 AM

to my friends, thanks for forgetting my bday this year.

oldfarthenry		2008-12-23 09:07:28 AM

Stephen Harper - you called a snap Canadian election in the middle of the US election circus resulting in another minority government.
You then tried to play hardball with the opposition resulting in a coalition coup attempt which you countered by proroguing parliament and running away like a little girl!
You, sir, deserve a lump of coal in your stocking and someone's foot in your crotch!!
Merry Festivus!!!

The NaSkAr		2008-12-23 09:32:45 AM

WHO WANTS TO FIGHT? I will stop a mudhole in anyone in the feats of strength

Tr0mBoNe		2008-12-23 09:35:05 AM

To my roommates: Stop plotting behind my back, I know where the guns are.

DjangoStonereaver		2008-12-23 09:42:52 AM

STOP WITH THE FESTIVUS!

SEINFELD SUCKED, ESPECIALLY MICHAEL RICHARDS!!!!!

I WOULD INSTA-RED ANY THREAD ABOUT THIS LAME MEDIA CREATION IF
IT WERE IN MY POWER!!!!

Glad I got that off my chest.

Still: Please, I'm begging you. STOP WITH THE FESTIVUS CRAP!

Dupa		2008-12-23 10:11:41 AM

I got a lot of problems with you people! Your cliches are repetitive, your intelligence is too intellectual, your humor too whimsical or facetious, and your partisanship is far too political.

/and stop posting in CAPS!
//seems like a good time to wish the best to you and yours
///slashies are a Festivus Miracle!

brigid_fitch		2008-12-23 10:13:39 AM

To my sister who abandoned her 2 kids to run off with her high-school sweetheart, then trapped him by getting pregnant. And signed over all parental rights of her first 2 kids to her creepy, habitually unemployed, still-living-at-home, 46-year-old husband. And has destroyed almost everyone's credit in the family by stealing their SS#'s to open credit cards & utilities

Happy Festivus, you useless piece of white trash.

rubi_con_man		2008-12-23 10:24:57 AM

I am being ignored by far too many people

KiwiCommander		2008-12-23 10:27:07 AM

Grievances:

- economic bailout
- us car makers
- Rod Blago
- Dubya

farfigneugan		2008-12-23 10:27:34 AM

To all the little girls that get offended when I use it as a point of reference: NATURAL CHILDBIRTH IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL OF PHYSICAL HUMAN PAIN.

Happy Festivus!

/what's a festivus?

Wight Power		2008-12-23 10:28:16 AM

To my liver and kidneys: Your suffering will only make me drink more.

Architectronica		2008-12-23 10:28:43 AM

Festivus molested us.

wildbill0712		2008-12-23 10:28:45 AM

To the stupid whore I was in love with for 5 years that went out with another guy during a road trip.
It all worked out. I left her there, in another state. She had to find a flight home the next day.

\Yes, I was the stupid one.
\\Festivus, for the rest of us!

diadelsuerte		2008-12-23 10:28:57 AM

" ..... I lost my train of thought"

SAvoodoo		2008-12-23 10:29:07 AM

women

MooseBayou		2008-12-23 10:29:28 AM

Warming up for the Feats of Strength.

Wrath of Heaven		2008-12-23 10:30:29 AM

DjangoStonereaver

Let it all out buddy! Grip the pole! It's unadorned and lusterless... prized for it's very high strength-to-weight ratio.

CygnusDarius		2008-12-23 10:30:41 AM

PHYSICAL CHALLENGE!!!

WildMonkey		2008-12-23 10:30:44 AM

I find tinsel distracting!

stanhapsburg		2008-12-23 10:30:44 AM

rubi_con_man: I am being ignored by far too many people

Same here, especially by Fark mods.

/sigh

Memoryalpha		2008-12-23 10:31:01 AM

Selling Festivus poles? How dare they commercialize such a solemn and holy day like that? It's shameful!

/heh

DROxINxTHExWIND		2008-12-23 10:31:07 AM

To the woman at McDonalds who I have to farking argue with EVERYTIME I go there because she thinks a burger and a large fry only require ONE pack of ketchup.

Can I have some extra ketchup, please!?!? Is it coming out of your farking paycheck? I didn't ask for 15 packets. I just want enough to dip my farking fries into after I eat the burger. WHY MUST WE DO THIS EVERY WEEK!?!?!?!

msheda		2008-12-23 10:31:12 AM

bahhh... I never liked Gunsmoke, especially the drunk on there.

Frescard		2008-12-23 10:31:41 AM

''That first year we sold about 250 poles, mostly to people who found us on the Web,'' Leto says. ``The following year, orders were up so much that people were ordering them to the tune of 23 an hour online, and paying up to $200 the day before Festivus in order to get overnight delivery so they'd have them in time.''

STOP THE COMMERCIALIZATION OF FESTIVUS! NOW!

Ringtailed79		2008-12-23 10:32:04 AM

Seinfeld sucked.

Please display your festivus poles, then I'll know my enemies.

zippythechimp		2008-12-23 10:32:25 AM

brigid_fitch: To my sister who abandoned her 2 kids to run off with her high-school sweetheart, then trapped him by getting pregnant. And signed over all parental rights of her first 2 kids to her creepy, habitually unemployed, still-living-at-home, 46-year-old husband. And has destroyed almost everyone's credit in the family by stealing their SS#'s to open credit cards & utilities

Happy Festivus, you useless piece of white trash.

Wow, I mean wow!

DROxINxTHExWIND		2008-12-23 10:32:56 AM

wildbill0712: To the stupid whore I was in love with for 5 years that went out with another guy during a road trip.
It all worked out. I left her there, in another state. She had to find a flight home the next day.

\Yes, I was the stupid one.
\\Festivus, for the rest of us!
=====================================

Wait, can you clarify a bit? So, you and her were on a road trip and in the middle of the trip she met another man and got some?

StickyKleenexWad		2008-12-23 10:33:28 AM

Fark you my city of Birmingham Alabama. Fark your f-d up mayor, Fark your parking ticket-happy ineffective pigs, & Fark your employment tax. Grievance over.

slewfootedhoopajoo		2008-12-23 10:33:55 AM

Crougar couldn't smooth a silk sheet with a...

mfaby		2008-12-23 10:34:43 AM

This is a trite, shallow idea and people that insist on talking about Festivus TEN YEARS after the show is off the air are in
desparate need of getting lives.

SwallowTheKnife		2008-12-23 10:35:01 AM

To the fark filter for pwning me three times this week, as the words "fir_t po_t (where _ = s)" were being used in context, but boobied nonetheless. I hate it and I'm letter bombing drew (as soon as I can find his address).
I was not able to partake in those discussions as I ran away from the threads in embarrassment, much like the person caught hot linking.

Sapper_Topo		2008-12-23 10:35:17 AM

One of the tenets of Festivus is the consumption of large quantities of alcohol... Game on

Oh and to my whore of a wife it would be nice if you would set your career goals a little higher than Dollar Store Cashier!

Grither		2008-12-23 10:35:29 AM

Fark you, random internet strangers who left me to die at the hands of that wily smoker right before the end of the final mission!

Wrath of Heaven		2008-12-23 10:35:43 AM

Ringtailed79: Seinfeld sucked.

Please display your festivus poles, then I'll know my enemies.

I've made a powerless enemy today.

jaylectricity		2008-12-23 10:35:44 AM

stanhapsburg: rubi_con_man: I am being ignored by far too many people

Same here, especially by Fark mods.

/sigh

Which means you can post whatever you want without being banned. What's your grievance?

DROxINxTHExWIND		2008-12-23 10:36:09 AM

mfaby: This is a trite, shallow idea and people that insist on talking about Festivus TEN YEARS after the show is off the air are in
desparate need of getting lives.
==========================================

And yet, here you are amongst the losers.

/Whats that thing about the company you keep?

fruitloop		2008-12-23 10:36:11 AM

people who eat bagels. today. no!

antique1960		2008-12-23 10:36:35 AM

msheda: bahhh... I never liked Gunsmoke, especially the drunk on there.

WINNER!!!!!

roryman		2008-12-23 10:37:11 AM

the other lesbian last night didn't really seem that into it

factoryconnection		2008-12-23 10:37:12 AM

To my now and soon-to-be ex brother and sister in law: I hereby publicly air my grievance over your treatment of your children as little more than strategic pawns. Merely because my siblings have incredibly poor taste in partners does not entitle you to exploit your kids merely to stick in your ex's craw. I wish harm on very few people, but your actions consistently make me wish lighting would visit your next deployed umbrella. Stop being yourself; yourself is a failure.

Happy Festivus

Merry Christmas

Atomic Grumpbot ver.3		2008-12-23 10:37:45 AM

To everyone who isn't me...Fark you filthy humans

/Sorry, just letting off some steam
//20 miserable relatives coming to visit this year
///20!!!!!!11!

HowAboutNo		2008-12-23 10:37:49 AM

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

/to all of you that don't like Seinfeld, kiss my ass
//a Festivus, for the rest of us!

jerkobson		2008-12-23 10:38:05 AM

To people who feel the need to stand on escalators. Move those tree trunks with cankles and walk your fat ass up them you annoying douchebags.

RiverKing		2008-12-23 10:38:15 AM

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

What happened to the doll?

It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born ... a Festivus for the rest of us!

That must've been some kind of doll.

She was.

sens		2008-12-23 10:38:30 AM

Sapper_Topo: Oh and to my whore of a wife it would be nice if you would set your career goals a little higher than Dollar Store Cashier!

I'm gonna take a stab and guess that your wife isn't on Fark very often?

CeroX		2008-12-23 10:38:44 AM

DjangoStonereaver: STOP WITH THE FESTIVUS!

SEINFELD SUCKED, ESPECIALLY MICHAEL RICHARDS!!!!!

I WOULD INSTA-RED ANY THREAD ABOUT THIS LAME MEDIA CREATION IF
IT WERE IN MY POWER!!!!

Glad I got that off my chest.

Still: Please, I'm begging you. STOP WITH THE FESTIVUS CRAP!

Bah, fark you, i hated seinfeld but i think festivus is a great idea...

FarkinHostile		2008-12-23 10:38:55 AM

I am getting fed up with my inability to refuse another drink.

wildbill0712		2008-12-23 10:40:22 AM

DROxINxTHExWIND: wildbill0712: To the stupid whore I was in love with for 5 years that went out with another guy during a road trip.
It all worked out. I left her there, in another state. She had to find a flight home the next day.

\Yes, I was the stupid one.
\\Festivus, for the rest of us!
=====================================

Wait, can you clarify a bit? So, you and her were on a road trip and in the middle of the trip she met another man and got some?

That is the overly short version. I don't have the space here, nor the patience/care to type it all out.

BlarneyMiller		2008-12-23 10:40:28 AM

To the asshole former owners of our house. Thanks for covering over a long list of very expensive issues including, but not limited to: structural caulk on the tub, failing roof underlayment, drain failure and chimney deterioration.

And to the home inspector who is blind, stupid or both and was cowed by the former owner into rubber stamping a long list of things wrong with the house.

/installed a festivus pole
//it became load bearing

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