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(CBC)   Scientists claim sharks will disappear from Atlantic Ocean in 10 years. Faulty mechanical sharks not included in survey.   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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3771 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2003 at 6:09 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

120 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-17 10:38:42 AM  
Pro-shark-hunting Newsmax article that slags environmentalists in 3..2..1..
2003-01-17 10:58:15 AM  
Quint surrenders.
2003-01-17 11:07:29 AM  
html>[image from too old to be available]

2003-01-17 11:09:45 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
*hangs head in shame*
2003-01-17 11:10:38 AM  
Mods, please delete this evidence of my sheer and hopeless asshattery. PLEASE!
2003-01-17 11:35:49 AM  
GOOD! I've been saying for years they should get rid of sharks. They serve no purpose in a modern world. What's the worst that's going to happen, we'll have too much fish??? Oh cry me an ocean.
2003-01-17 12:21:19 PM  
What haven't they been getting enough to eat along the Florida shores.

Save the Sharks!!!
Swim Florida!!!
2003-01-17 01:04:42 PM  
Now maybe I will go in the water.
2003-01-17 01:55:09 PM  
2003-01-17 01:56:49 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
2003-01-17 05:24:58 PM  
What if sharks hold the cure for cancer? All of you that are apethetic will feel pretty bad if that's the case.
2003-01-17 05:33:29 PM  
I'm sorry, disregard my previos post. I looked it up, and sharks can't even read, much less develop a cure for cancer.
2003-01-17 06:12:38 PM  
Cool, at least they will stop infecting the bananas.

/i got nuthin
2003-01-17 06:12:44 PM  
As long as we have sharks with frickin laser beams in 10 years, who cares?
2003-01-17 06:14:14 PM  
but what if sharks with laser beams attached to their heads held the cure for cancer, would you be sad then, would ya, huh huh huh
2003-01-17 06:14:54 PM  
Sharks are immune to cancer. This is a fact. So it could very well be they have the cure for it.
2003-01-17 06:15:54 PM  
Just when you thought it was safe to...

Oh wait, it's safe. Go ahead, kids!
2003-01-17 06:17:21 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-01-17 06:17:39 PM  
But what about the Bananas in the Pcaific Ocean?
2003-01-17 06:17:54 PM  
Damn the luck, I was going to wash down my shark with a banana smoothie. That's what you call getting a slice of the ol' dick pie.
2003-01-17 06:17:57 PM  
as someone who used to surf i can say the sharks around the shore are not in decline. fly over a florida beach if you don't beleive. if sharks are in decline then why are attacks up?
2003-01-17 06:18:25 PM  
Sharks have been on land hanging out with a bunch of kids in a band since the early 70's. Further evidence of sharks having left the sea can be clearly seen on tapes of live TV news shows from Saturday Nights in the mid to late 70's. These sharks would often disguise thier voices and pretend to be the candygram man. We should have all seen this coming when Jabberjaws first drove a car. Duh.
2003-01-17 06:18:42 PM  
Sharks taste good!
2003-01-17 06:20:01 PM  
Basstovin, cuz the sharks want some booty, and they get frustrated.
2003-01-17 06:20:17 PM  
Basstovin - You obviously are unfamiliar with the rash of Dodo attacks that directly preceded their demise.
2003-01-17 06:20:25 PM  
Shark attacks aren't up. The amount of shark attacks reported in the media are. Just like child kidnappings and UFO cult-made cloned babies.
2003-01-17 06:20:35 PM  
if sharks are in decline then why are attacks up?

They're not. Media frenzy (hah!) is.
2003-01-17 06:20:48 PM  
TheUsers reason was funnier =\
2003-01-17 06:20:49 PM  
This is awesome!!
I can't wait to see some asshat group of "Save the Great Whites" get bi-sected and disemboweled by the poor defensless creature. All I ask is that they bring plenty of film to document their charitable activities.
2003-01-17 06:21:24 PM  
hey now, don't be stereotyping Great Whites, you Great Whitist.
2003-01-17 06:21:37 PM  
what a load of crap
2003-01-17 06:21:39 PM  
if sharks are in decline then why are attacks up?

could be a lot of reasons...

change in water temperatures
change in availability of other food sources
vacation sites feeding sharks as part of tourist attraction
2003-01-17 06:21:46 PM  
I'd sure hate to be a banana shark right now.

Waka waka waka
2003-01-17 06:21:51 PM  
In a related story; Scientist kills thousands of sharks while trying to outfit them with "frickin laser beams!"
2003-01-17 06:22:21 PM  
OMG...beaten to it
2003-01-17 06:22:22 PM  
Any animal that can't survive living in a world populated by humans doesn't deserve to exist anyway. Besides, sharks have been around since long before the first amphibians ever crawled on to dry land....they'll be around in the future as well. Just not the big stupid ones that humans are scared of.
2003-01-17 06:22:24 PM  
If they're going to disappear in 10 years then they need to start doing it real soon,come to any South Florida beach in november or december and you'll see more hammerheads than you can count,or maybe I just can't count that high 'cos I'm in florida,ahhh,forget it.
2003-01-17 06:22:54 PM  
Sorry warmbeer
2003-01-17 06:23:02 PM  
"Millions of species have gone extinct millions of years before man, i say let them go gracefully" -George Carlin

As Carlin suggests, why is this news?
2003-01-17 06:23:06 PM  
anyone seen that video of the shark frenzy around a dead whale? There is also a human frenzy around the sharks. Tons of people in boats with cameras. Some asshat actually walks out on the whale carcass, then reaches down and starts slapping one of the sharks on the head. Damn I wish he'd gotten bit. Mother nature was taking a nap on that one.
2003-01-17 06:23:46 PM  
Well, according to the Myan calendar, the world is supposed to end in 2012. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
2003-01-17 06:23:53 PM  
2003-01-17 06:24:03 PM  
Ahem, never having seen a shark(except those teensy ones in a fish tank), and hearing all those nasty nibbling tales about them, I'm leaning toward extinction for those bad boys of the oceans. Do you think they can take those mean trigger fish with them?
2003-01-17 06:24:45 PM  
I think we can all blame "Flipper" for the decline of shrk population. That little bastard must kill 10 or 20 per day trying to save asshat little white boys who fall in the water.
2003-01-17 06:25:09 PM  
This just in:

"Cockroach shortages cause garbage not to have same ambiance"

...feh, second thought nothing...move along - nothing to see here
2003-01-17 06:25:46 PM  
by the way...kill all the sharks, then what kills what they eat? their prey overpopulates, eats all the plankton, oceans die, we all die, hilarity ensues.

don't even get me started on the bananas.
2003-01-17 06:25:55 PM  
Good riddance to the damned things. Now we just need to get them out of the rest of the world's bodies of water.

Sharks suck. If any waterborne critter's going to come up with a cure for cancer it'll be those humpback whales. They're really smart! I saw a documentary once where they saved the whole planet from a giant space probe in the future.
2003-01-17 06:26:30 PM  
"by the way...kill all the sharks, then what kills what they eat? their prey overpopulates, eats all the plankton, oceans die, we all die, hilarity ensues."

Entropy Rules!
2003-01-17 06:26:41 PM  
Is this actually a story about lawyers?
2003-01-17 06:26:52 PM  
I say we all move into the ocean and take the place of the sharks as scourge of the sea. that way we can save the ocean from dieing, also i just want to be a feared wanderer of the deep.
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