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(News.com.au)   Man tries to bribe cops $50K for a $3.80 ticket. What recession?   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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8970 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2008 at 7:12 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



58 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2008-12-22 05:06:53 PM  
Once in the padded cell the defendant offered police $50,000 to release him and drop the charges, the court was told.

Bribes are supposed to come first, then you try intimidating them by kicking their van and biting them. But always bribes first.
 
2008-12-22 07:14:38 PM  
"Well maybe . . . . THIS will change your mind."
*silently hands cop a doughnut*
 
2008-12-22 07:15:16 PM  
The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

That's hilarious. Geez xD
 
2008-12-22 07:16:00 PM  
$50K after he tried to smite teh police!
 
2008-12-22 07:16:29 PM  
Yeah, I'm sure he has the money, too.

"Wait here, I be back wit cho monies..."
 
2008-12-22 07:16:58 PM  
"The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection."

Wow, we really are turning into a bunch of pussys aren't we?
 
2008-12-22 07:16:59 PM  
Actually, he didn't pay a 3.80 train ticket. The citation for stealing the fare might have been a lot more severe, especially for someone on a visa.

I always disliked the term "traffic ticket", anyway. You're not buying an admission fare, unless it's a toll road. It's a receipt for a fine, not the right to admission.
 
2008-12-22 07:17:03 PM  
He was Nigerian. He probably had a connection to a government official of some sort who needed to move the $50K out of the country, as long as you paid him $10K to cover the costs.
 
2008-12-22 07:19:24 PM  
I'll give you $50,000 to forget this ticket, I'll just need you to not arrest me, give me a ride to your bank and withdraw 10% of the $50,000 as a transfer fee for the american government.
 
2008-12-22 07:19:52 PM  

M0nkeyp0x: "The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection."

Wow, we really are turning into a bunch of pussys aren't we?


If a motherfarker from Nigeria bit me and drew blood, I'd be horrified of getting aids or some shiat.
 
2008-12-22 07:20:28 PM  
Wow, most misleading headline ever. He offered $50k for them to forget about assaulting a police officer, over staying his visa, and resisting arrest not the $3.80. Yawn.
 
2008-12-22 07:24:24 PM  
Smitty,

Recessions don't hit everyone or all at once. Some people, esp. the wealthy won't be hurt by a recession at all.
 
2008-12-22 07:27:43 PM  
The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures
 
2008-12-22 07:28:08 PM  

"The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection."


"Emotional Problems" also sound like codewords for the cop to go on paid disability as well. Tough it out, Nancy Boy.

 
2008-12-22 07:28:14 PM  
Time for an Aussie tag?
 
2008-12-22 07:28:48 PM  

agoratrader: Wow, most misleading headline ever. He offered $50k for them to forget about assaulting a police officer, over staying his visa, and resisting arrest not the $3.80. Yawn.


So Subby exaggerated for effect. That's no different from the cops who claimed emotional distress, or made it sound like their van skidded out of control (more likely: there was a little bounce and the driver had to tighten his grip on the wheel for a second, which has happened to anyone who has ever driven kids anywhere).
 
2008-12-22 07:30:06 PM  
No subby used the headline from the article. RTFA
 
2008-12-22 07:31:06 PM  

Special_Ed9289: The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures


Hey, I'm not allowed to donate blood, just because I've stepped on that continent within the last year. And I didn't even swap fluids with anybody.

(Of course, I think they're more concerned about malaria, which isn't transmitted by human bite. But if I'm not mistaken, Hepatitis B is also a big issue to them.)
 
2008-12-22 07:32:10 PM  
...he was also found to have overstayed a student visa

This might have something to do with it.

During the transfer the man bit a police officer on the wrist

This too.
 
2008-12-22 07:35:30 PM  
Super Chronic: Hey, I'm not allowed to donate blood, just because I've stepped on that continent within the last year. And I didn't even swap fluids with anybody.

hehe...I'm not allowed to give blood either, because I was in another weird country in the 80's.

Britain.

/does this mean the Red Cross really thinks I have a greater than zero chance that my brain will melt?
//WTF
 
2008-12-22 07:36:16 PM  
In California, Caltrain fines you $250 for not buying the ticket.

Pretty effin steep....
 
2008-12-22 07:37:14 PM  
FTA: "While en-route to the Caboolture Watchhouse Ogbe began kicking the van walls so violently the vehicle momentarily lost traction, with the police officer driving forced to correct the steering wheel."

Believe it or not.
 
2008-12-22 07:38:22 PM  

Super Chronic: Special_Ed9289: The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures

Hey, I'm not allowed to donate blood, just because I've stepped on that continent within the last year. And I didn't even swap fluids with anybody.

(Of course, I think they're more concerned about malaria, which isn't transmitted by human bite. But if I'm not mistaken, Hepatitis B is also a big issue to them.)


I think that might just be an overall policy if you've gone overseas period.

Though I have a friend who can't donate blood for life because he lived in Germany in the early 90's when the whole mad cow thing was going on.
 
2008-12-22 07:38:32 PM  
Red Cross won't let me donate blood either, because I'm teh ghey.

"But I don't have any diseases" I tell them.

Don't matter. They ain't interested.
 
2008-12-22 07:42:49 PM  
My Dad once bribed a traffic cop with two large bags of Peanut M&M's.

/True story.
//I was there.
 
2008-12-22 07:43:06 PM  

studebaker hoch: In California, Caltrain fines you $250 for not buying the ticket.

Pretty effin steep....


I wonder about the ticket every time I ride CalTrain. They frequently don't ask/check for my ticket.

But $250 will keep me from trying to ride w/o a ticket.
 
2008-12-22 07:46:22 PM  

Virtual Farker: FTA: "While en-route to the Caboolture Watchhouse Ogbe began kicking the van walls so violently the vehicle momentarily lost traction, with the police officer driving forced to correct the steering wheel."

Believe it or not.


Yeah I do, people can be hugely violent when they put thier minds to it.
 
2008-12-22 07:47:33 PM  

M0nkeyp0x: "The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection."

Wow, we really are turning into a bunch of pussys aren't we?


So I guess you'd just shrug and say "Oh well, either I get HIV or I don't" then?
 
2008-12-22 07:47:46 PM  
i39.tinypic.com

"You must be new..."
i43.tinypic.com
 
2008-12-22 07:48:29 PM  

Special_Ed9289: The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures


i50.photobucket.com

What, you didn't know? PC is long dead. Long live truthful commentary.
 
2008-12-22 07:48:32 PM  

Special_Ed9289: Super Chronic: Special_Ed9289: The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures

Hey, I'm not allowed to donate blood, just because I've stepped on that continent within the last year. And I didn't even swap fluids with anybody.

(Of course, I think they're more concerned about malaria, which isn't transmitted by human bite. But if I'm not mistaken, Hepatitis B is also a big issue to them.)

I think that might just be an overall policy if you've gone overseas period.

Though I have a friend who can't donate blood for life because he lived in Germany in the early 90's when the whole mad cow thing was going on.


Well, frankly I can't remember the questionnaire in its entirety, since I go to Africa somewhat regularly and have been disqualified for the last few years. I know the question I focused on was very specific to Africa. There might have been questions about some other places in specific time frames, but I can't remember. (Personally I never got out of the U.S. of A. until about 1995, so none of them applied to me.)
 
2008-12-22 07:49:55 PM  

Special_Ed9289: The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

Oh I see, just because he's from Africa he is diseased.

Where's PC when you need it?

/figures


You go to darkest Africa and swap fluids with a bunch of people. Prove what an egalitarian you are.
 
2008-12-22 07:50:56 PM  

Tellurianix: Virtual Farker: FTA: "While en-route to the Caboolture Watchhouse Ogbe began kicking the van walls so violently the vehicle momentarily lost traction, with the police officer driving forced to correct the steering wheel."

Believe it or not.

Yeah I do, people can be hugely violent when they put thier minds to it.


Cop 1: He's kicking the farking van.
Cop 2: This will shut his ass up.
*SWERVE!*
 
2008-12-22 07:52:25 PM  
It must be axed: Is our childrens learnin' ?
 
2008-12-22 07:53:45 PM  
Well, frankly I can't remember the questionnaire in its entirety, since I go to Africa somewhat regularly and have been disqualified for the last few years. I know the question I focused on was very specific to Africa. There might have been questions about some other places in specific time frames, but I can't remember. (Personally I never got out of the U.S. of A. until about 1995, so none of them applied to me.)

I gave recently, so I remember a couple of them. I think I remember one about Africa, though I know they are pretty serious about the U.K. too because of all the mad cow stuff. I unfortunately haven't been able to afford to go abroad yet, so I never really worry about any of those questions.
 
2008-12-22 07:56:46 PM  
Rozinante

Maybe I need to post more, but that comment I made was snark.

I wouldn't trade fluids with someone in Africa for all the tea in China.
 
2008-12-22 08:03:07 PM  

jaderaven: Tellurianix: Virtual Farker: FTA: "While en-route to the Caboolture Watchhouse Ogbe began kicking the van walls so violently the vehicle momentarily lost traction, with the police officer driving forced to correct the steering wheel."

Believe it or not.

Yeah I do, people can be hugely violent when they put thier minds to it.

Cop 1: He's kicking the farking van.
Cop 2: This will shut his ass up.
*SWERVE!*


I lol'd
 
2008-12-22 08:04:12 PM  

Special_Ed9289: Rozinante

Maybe I need to post more, but that comment I made was snark.

I wouldn't trade fluids with someone in Africa for all the tea in China.


How about for all the Mr. T in the A Team?
 
2008-12-22 08:11:25 PM  
Sim Tree:

I always disliked the term "traffic ticket", anyway. You're not buying an admission fare, unless it's a toll road. It's a receipt for a fine, not the right to admission.

I also hate the term "citation." Like what you said, it's an advance receipt for a fine (and an accusation of wrongdoing), not a formal public announcement of something awesome you did. (Unless you're a rambunctious teenager, of course...)

They should call it what it is: a traffic surtax by lottery.
 
2008-12-22 08:16:40 PM  
Bah! He low-balled them with that bribe offer. Belfour offered the PD in Dallas a billion dollars to cut him loose for a DUI.
 
2008-12-22 08:19:56 PM  
Way to confirm the Nigerian stereotype, Jehoiachin!

// what a maroon!
 
2008-12-22 08:33:21 PM  
I'm assuming that the 50,000 were in Aussie Dollars which would come down to around 34,000 US dollars (still a hefty amount).
 
2008-12-22 08:48:28 PM  

Setsuna: I'm assuming that the 50,000 were in Aussie Dollars which would come down to around 34,000 US dollars (still a hefty amount).


You assume that a news service from Australia, reporting on a fine and bribery attempt of a man IN Australia, would use Australian Dollars in their report?

Way to go out on a limb there buddy.

/move to Australia for a 1 year on working holiday visa in March
//extremely pumped
 
2008-12-22 09:10:23 PM  
Hey, I know this guy....

Dear Sir,
Request for Urgent Business Relationship


I am the group managing director of the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and a member of the ad hoc committee set up by the federal government of Nigeria to review contracts awarded by the past military administration between 1985-1993. The members of the committee are interested in the importation of goods into the country with the funds presently floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria/Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) foreign payments account.

Our request is anchored on our strong desire to establish a lasting business relationship with you and your company. We hence solicit your partnership to enable us transfer into your account the said funds. You have been recommended to us in confidence and we were assured of your ability and reliability to prosecute business transaction that require maximum confidentiality.

Origin of Fund

This fund is presently floating in the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) foreign payments account with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). This is as result of grossly over invoiced contracts which were executed for the NNPC during the last administration in Nigeria, and are presently under verification. To this effect, the present administration in Nigeria set up an adhoc committee to identify, scrutinize and recommend for payment all valid contracts that have been fully executed. In the course of our assignment, we have identified a lot of misappropriated and inflated funds which are presently floating in the suspense account of the Central Bank of Nigeria ready for payment. The companies who executed their contracts have been fully paid. It is now part of the over inflated sum of USD25,320,000.00 that we intend to transfer into the foreign account.

I have therefore been mandated as a matter of trust by the members of the committee to look for a foreign partner into whose account we could transfer the sum of USD25,320,000.00 (twenty-five million, three hundred and twenty thousand US dollars) only. Hence I am writing you this letter. We have agreed to share the funds thus:

(1) 65% for us (the committee members) and
(2) 25% for account owner (you)
(3) 10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses that will be incured in the course of this transaction.

It is from the 65% that we wish to commence the importation busines. Please note that this transaction is 100% safe and guaranteed since the law under which our committee was set up has empowered us to disburse all the funds found to be floating in the Central Bank of Nigeria redundant account from 1985 till date. We shall commence the transfer of the funds immediately we receive the following information by telefax: (number omitted):

(1) your company's name and full address
(2) your banker's name, address, telephone and fax numbers
(3) the account number and name of beneficiary.

The above information are to enable us put up letters of claim and job description to the respective ministries for the issuance of the mandatory fund release approval/recommendations. This way, your company will become recognised and accepted as the beneficiary of the contract entitlements before the final remittance to your nominated account by the Central Bank of Nigeria being the paying bank.

We are looking forward to doing this business with you and solicit your absolute confidentiality in this transaction. Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter using the above telefax numbers for more details regarding the transaction.

Yours faithfully, Jehoiachin Onyins Ogbe
 
2008-12-22 09:26:52 PM  

NutWrench: "Well maybe . . . . THIS will change your mind."
*silently hands cop a doughnut*


I'm diabetic!
 
2008-12-22 09:42:13 PM  
Subby sucks at reading comprehension. The train ticket the guy didn't buy was $3.80 - I can assure you the "infringement notice" for not paying for the ticket would have been at substantially more. Here in Sydney it's a minimum of $200, but can be as much as $550.

/still, if you're in the country illegally, you buy your damned rail ticket
//used to be in the country illegally
///now an Aus citizen, so I can go ticketless, if I'm willing to risk the fine
 
2008-12-22 10:23:00 PM  
He will give you $50,000 but first he needs you to wire him a small fee of $2000 to cover the transaction costs.
 
2008-12-22 10:37:24 PM  
The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection.

i145.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-22 11:02:09 PM  

DaShredda: M0nkeyp0x: "The court heard the bitten police officer endured months of ongoing "emotional problems" as he waited for a blood test to clear him of serious infection."

Wow, we really are turning into a bunch of pussys aren't we?

If a motherfarker from Nigeria bit me and drew blood, I'd be horrified of getting aids or some shiat.


this
 
2008-12-22 11:10:46 PM  
Austfailia
 
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