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(crimson)		What is the weirdest thing that happened during one of your exams? With voting (thecrimson.com)		173
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8406 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2003 at 11:33 AM | Favorite | share:

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klondikeklondike		2003-01-17 11:39:54 AM

44 votes:

TRUE FRICKIN STORY!!! When i was in 9th grade, we were taking an algebra in Coach Cowart's class. He got called to the office and left the room. NO ONE ever dared to cheat. Anyways, I had just learned a cool trick, sucking butane from a lighter into my mouth, lighting the lighter and then blowing out a big fireball. So naturally, I wanted to show it off. As soon as Coach left, I tap my friend in front of me on the shoulder and started sucking butane, of course the whole room gasped and turned around. Just as I was lighting the lighter and preparing to blow, the Air conditioner kicked in. Well, unbeknownst to me, the huge air intake vent was behind me. I blew out the fire ball just as the vent started sucking air. The fireball reversed direction and blew across my whole head, singed hair, eyelashes, eye brows and the awful smell of burnt hair filled the room. Everyone cracked up and Coach walked in and everyone shut up. He sniffed the air, looked right at me, and just shook his head grumbling as he sat down. It was in the year book my senior year and most embarrassing moment. Has given us years of laffs since.

mike

jiggs		2003-01-17 12:00:15 PM

29 votes:

So, yeah I was a drunken stoner in college.
I was taking a lower leve History class (History of the World II or some such BS) after having taken quite a few 400 level classes. I had decided to major in History because of usefull it would be in getting a job, so I had to go back and take the intro classes as req for the degree.

My professor knew me and knew I was bored, so he told me I didn't have to come to class as long as I did well on the tests. Well, that is a bad thing to tell a drunken stoner. I took the last regular test and didn't show up again until the class before the final when we recieved our study guides, etc. It had been about three weeks.

I went home and memed the ID's. They were easy. Then he had a list of possible essay questions. You had to read huge swaths of the textbook in order to get each one.
Well, being drunk and or stoned, I didn't feel like doing it. I gave up and turned on the TV. Started watching the history Channel, back when the history channel still had long documentries at night instead of infomercials.

I watched a 5 hour miniseries they were showing late night in one sitting. It was called "The Mongol Hordes".
Very intersing seeing as I was more stoned that drunk at this point.

The next day I go into the final ready for certain failure. I did the ID's which were pretty easy and then looked down to the Essay questions. He had Three, and you chose one. Two were from the list he had given us and he had the third was a suprise.

"Outline the rise one the Mongols and their impact on western culture. Use examples and specifics... Blah, blah, blah,"

I started laughing so hard I cried (I was still stoned of course, who want to fail a final sober). Everyone looked at me like I was a freak (which I am sure I was).

I aced the final and the Prof put a note on mine that said something to the effect of.
"I do not know where you recieved your info fomr, but it was not the text book. I can not argue that you do not know your Mongol history though. Good argument. Nice work!"

Very true story.

MalcolmXI		2003-01-17 11:39:18 AM

21 votes:

It was during a 400-level Chemistry exam at CU Boulder, back in the late 80s. The chick behind me was pleasuring herself with the heel of her foot. Amazingly, I still managed to pass the exam.

Oh, you can vote on these?

Zenpickle		2003-01-17 11:53:11 AM

19 votes:

[with voting]

THE PENIS GAME

At my old boarding school we had this game where someone would whipser "Penis," and then someone else had to say "Penis" louder and someone else had to say it louder than that. Usually this was played in the library during study hall.

Someone got the idea to play the Penis Game during the SATs. The faculty monitors were playing Whack-a-Mole trying to find the culprits.

"Penis!"

They'd go in the direction they heard the disruption. Then from the other side of the gym,

"PENIS!"

"Who said that?"

"PEENNIISSS!!!"

CambAngst		2003-01-17 12:03:54 PM

17 votes:

We had this great prank that upperclassmen used to play on freshmen at M.I.T. You would casually stroll into a three hour exam for some gigantic freshman core class where nobody has any chance of recognizing everybody. Physics and calculus were both popular targets. You'd sit right up front in the turbo-geek section, clearly visible to the room. After the professor handed out the tests and the blue books, you'd casually breeze through the test, chuckling out loud to yourself and scribbling random crap in the blue book. 20 minutes into the three hour exam, you'd make a big scene out of strolling up, turning in your blue book, shaking the professor's hand and thanking him for teaching such a great class. Then stand outside the door and watch all the super-nerds panic because they haven't even finished the first problem. Great way to relieve the stress of final exams.

Serendib		2003-01-17 11:52:16 AM

17 votes:

OOPS! Click here to vote for my story above ^^^

Tiny		2003-01-17 12:06:37 PM

15 votes:

A mate went into a French exam high on acid. Came out convinved he had aced it having written a cracking story all about a thunderstorm.

He was called in by the examiner when it was being marked and asked to explain himself, as the examiner threw his paper at him He was puzzled to say the least but read his script. Three pages in total. All it said was:

'noir noir noir noir BLANC! noir noir noir noir noir BLANC! noir noir noir etc.'

(For the non French readers, black black black black WHITE! black black black WHITE! etc).

He failed. C'est la vie!

Cirrius		2003-01-17 11:52:31 AM

15 votes:

now with teh voting!

Malcolm XI I saw the same thing, although the chick used her free hand not holding the pencil, wearing a short skirt she alternated between putting her hand between her thighs, and rubbing her thighs together.

That was an exam I did NOT pass, as the class was situated with the desks split half on each side of the room facing each other with an aisle between for the teacher to lecture and walk around. I had a free show (and the world largest most painful boner begging to be set free) and I only manage to answer 3 questions. I confronted her about it later and she denied it, but told me at the end of the year that it helped her concentrate. It lives on as one of the greatest things I have witnessed :)

FiveFrozenFish		2003-01-17 11:38:27 AM

15 votes:

I was actually a proctor for this one, but this guy came in to write, and didn't look well... we told him to go home, get a doctor's note and talk to us on monday. He insisted on writing, and lo and behold the bloke had a heart attack.

That wasn't enough for one day, a lady had gone into labour in the room next door... she was also writing an exam.

Those aren't really weird I suppose, but to happen during an exam is... kind of... please vote for me!?!? please....

MacG		2003-01-17 12:09:43 PM

14 votes:

The last final of Fall semester, this is back 12 or so years ago now (my God), we had exactly 90 minutes to finish a chemistry final. It was an intro class, and was very large. So when time is up, the grad student proctor says "pencils down." Well, this one guy in the middle keeps right on going as others drop off their blue books on the desk. So after a few minutes, he completes the exam. He goes to drop off the blue book, and the grad student says, "sorry, you fail."
The student says "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"
The proctor says, "No, and I don't care."
At that, the student picks up half the exams, drops his in the middle of the pile, then mixes them up, and runs out.

I remember it well because that was the same day I got a free cell phone just for forwarding an email from Nokia.

pogue23		2003-01-17 04:24:54 PM

13 votes:

Okay.. how about, i was taking my Classical Archaeology final exam, and this guy broke in with a hunting rifle and a 45 and took the whole class hostage..

No Lie.
university at albany 1994, this guy, jeffery Tortiricci, who started a fistfight with the professor at the beginning of the semsester and was put on disciplinary probation for it, promptly dropped the class and spent the rest of the semester descending into paranoid delusion..

i didnt see him again till december.. we were halfway through the final.. and he came in .. walked down to the front of the auditorium and threw off his overcoat and revealed his rifle.. girls started screaming and people started running for the door, it was chaos.. he fired into the air, and people went flying everywhere...
he ran up to the top of the stairs and started screaming at people to get back.. they went back to their seats. terrified of the guy ranting about the microchip in his penis

anyway to make a long story short.. we sat there in that room for 3 hours and listened to that guy run back and forth from door to door checking for the cops.. who arrived pretty quickly..
anyway.. he was running by, and one guy finally fed up with the situation, made a grab for the rifle... some other guys pounced on him and started beating him down.. the rest of us started running out and BOOM suddenly the Swat guys decided to swoop in.. we were blinded by flashbangs grenades.. i ran right into a wall and fell over into a corner..it was total chaos..i staggered up and made it out of the lecture hall.. and was hustled to a paramedic..the guy was beat down and arrested..

suffice to say, i got a 4.0 that semester
and nighmares for rest of my life..
thanks Jeffrey Tortiricci

oh Jeffrey? they found him to be Mentally Ill.. he committed Suicide in a mental hospital.. guess he finally came to and realized what he he had done..
sad isnt it?

BobMobber		2003-01-17 12:05:18 PM

13 votes:

In social studies in HS, during the final, the police arrested my teacher. He was also a town councilman, and arrested (and later convicted of) accepting bribes for zoning variances.

Hawk24		2003-01-17 11:53:42 AM

13 votes:

One very harried looking kid walks into a large lecture hall where 250 of us have already been working on our Poli-Sci finals for about 15 minutes. He walks up front, grabs his exam book and takes a seat in the first row. He reads a few questions for about a minute, screams at the top of his lungs, pounds his head on the desk, gets up and hands in his exam and walks out.

Funniest thing I have ever seen.

g0d		2003-01-17 11:43:26 AM

13 votes:

We'd just finished a 4 hour exam, all tired to hell and right as our proctor (pregnant woman) walked by our stack of scan-trons, the biatch's water broke.

Right on the farking tests.

way2slo		2003-01-17 12:29:25 PM

10 votes:

I was in the Chem 111 final, which was held in an auditorium. This particular final exam was a standardized test given to all chemistry classes of this level and it was a multipule choice "scan-tron" test. I was pulling about a F average in the class, so I had to do well on this final.

So, there I was with my lucky #2 pencil taking the final when my lucky pencil broke. More specificially, the lead to my pencil broke. It was one of those breaks that was up inside the pencil and the sharpend tip of the lead fell out. My heart sank as I could only look on this as a bad omen. Well, I'll just go get it sharpened. Problem. No pencil sharpener. Why would you put a pencil sharpener in an Auditorium?? So I went to the proctor of the exam and asked him for another pencil.

"I don't have any more"

"Can I leave and go find a sharpener?"

"Sure, but I don't think you will find one in this building."

He was correct. I spent about ten minutes roaming the halls and looking in rooms. No pencil sharpener. So I went back and sat down and contemplated my alternatives. My only choice was to forge ahead with what I had, the little lead tip that broke off. Pinching it between my finger and thumb I continued through the test until I completely wore it away. Even to the point that I was placing the small piece on the circle I thought was the correct answer and pressing donw on it in a tiny circular motion. I was only a little more than halfway through the test.

I remember staring at my graphite stained fingers and the tipless pencil when it hit me....my pocket knife. Being an advid "McGuyver" fan I never went anywhere without my swiss army knife. I pulled it out of my pocket and started to whittle myself a new tip for my lucky pencil. Using quick slices, a new tip began to form on the pencil. I could see it was going to work and I was pleased. It was at that moment when I noticed that everyone in my area was stareing at me. Especially the big guy in front of me with the wood shavings in his hair.

Anyway, it worked and I was able to complete the final exam. Turns out that my lucky pencil worked after all. I pulled my average up to a C-.

Best.Name.Ever		2003-01-17 12:25:24 PM

10 votes:

I was taking the SAT test one saturday morning during my senior year of high school. I had already taken the test twice, but I was trying to get a high enough score to qualify for a scholarship that I wanted. I felt like I was doing really good this time, until about halfway through the test a bad thunderstorm came over. The tornado sirens went off, and then the power went out. They rushed us down the dark halways and into the basement. Then we heard this terrible noise. A tornado hit the corner of the school and lifted off the roof of the gym. After awhile, they let us out. A bunch of the cars in the parking lot were damaged. Luckily my dad had dropped me off, and he picked me up when he saw the story on the news.

They sent us all home, and we had to re-take the test a couple weeks later at a different location. The funny thing was that I got the exact same version of the test I had been given before, so I didn't even have to read the "reading comprehension" part. So needless to say, I got a really good score on the test, and I got the all-expenses-paid 4-year scholarship because of it.

oldman_withers		2003-01-17 11:48:20 AM

10 votes:

In the 7th grade, we took end of the year "exams" in the lunch room at my school. Near the end of the exam period, some guy on the other side of the room gets up with his fully completed test (200 multiple choice on Biology, hey, it's junior high) and makes like he's turning it in. When he puts it on the pile, he changes his mind, picks it back up, and eats the whole damn thing. Right in front of all the teachers. He was made to retake the test then and there, and I heard he got an A on it. I guess he absorbed the info, literally.

Nightsweat		2003-01-17 11:43:08 AM

10 votes:

I did have a friend show up for his last final unshaven, unshowered, in a bath robe and underwear with a six pack. He aced it.

That man is now an elected official.

scraping-fetus-off-the-wheel		2003-01-17 11:42:00 AM

10 votes:

A UFO hovered outside the window, and beamed information to Sally Johnson. She just sat there in this weird glow, while everyone could see what was happening, but we couldn't move.
When the beam stopped, the teacher jumped up and started yelling that Sally was cheating. Sally tried to tell everyone that the aliens were here to make life better for us, but the teacher didn't believe her. So Sally shot some kind of weird purple liquid from her eyes at the teacher an then told him to give everyone an A on the test.
We all got A's, so we didn't rat out Sally to the principal.
Later on I heard Sally became a wiccan priestess, and she has orgies at her parents house.

volney		2003-01-17 12:10:04 PM

9 votes:

I was taking a mid term for a college calculus class, it was the last day of drop-add and I was uncertain about my grade. Half way through the test, I was doing well and was planning on staying in the class. The room was dead silent; all that could be heard was the sound of pencils writing on paper. Suddenly, and without warning, I let out an explosive fart. It was like a clap of lighting, and it was very potent. The room was dead silent for about 60 seconds, there wasn’t even people working on their exams. I got up, turned in my half done exam and went straight to the drop-add office. Screw calculus, that was a sign from God to drop the class.

prestonsturges		2003-01-17 12:03:42 PM

9 votes:

A girl got up like she was gonna puke and made a dash for the trash can. Not realizing how far the teacher's desk hanged over the can, she dove in and knocked herself out cold on the corner of the desk. No vomit ensued.

Mandingo		2003-01-17 11:57:31 AM

9 votes:

I noticed a question on my algebra exam was written by a teacher using my name spoonerized as an example of how not to answer a question.

eg. "Dan Mingo wrongly answered the question "..." as "3x+5". What step did he take that was incorrect and how should he have answered it?"

Bastard.

K-Funk		2003-01-17 11:56:10 AM

9 votes:

Well I was taking the SAT's and there were kids in my school taking the test as well as kids from another school and there was a known dislike for each other.

Then about 30 minutes into it one guy stands up and starts punching the kid in front of me. That guy pulls out an exacto blade and slices the other kids face up. His face was kinda hanging off - there was blood everywhere. I heard the kid needed like 80 some-odd stitches.

Anyhow, long story short - blood everywhere and we were expected to continue taking the exams as if nothing happened. Guess that is typical Brooklyn attitude :-)

JerseyGuy415		2003-01-17 11:45:58 AM

9 votes:

In my high school, all the classrooms had a phone line which could be dialed from the outside. One of my friends managed to get my bio teacher's number and told me he was going to prank him during my final exam. I had another friend in the class who sat 2 seats away from me and he knew about the plan as well. During our final, the phone rings and the teacher picks up. Hearing nothing but "I'm the Fat Muffin Man," he hung up. 5 seconds later, the phone rang again and I heard my teacher say under his breath "God Damnit!" and picked up yet again for more childish pranks. Me and my friend in the class looked at each other and tried not to laugh our asses off. Oh, and I might have passed the exam, I don't really remember that part.

squidloe		2003-01-17 11:44:39 AM

9 votes:

My professor died. We all got 100's on the test for the emotional trauma.

Badger		2003-01-17 02:12:24 PM

8 votes:

I took a Logic class Sophomore year. The final was 100 questions with the directions "true or false?". After 5 minutes, I wrote "yes" under each question and turned in the test.

Got a perfect 100 after being asked to explain. My logic was Yes, since each question was either true or false.

The teacher never had another true/false exam again.

ChefQuix		2003-01-17 01:34:36 PM

8 votes:

It was the fourth year of my computer engineering degree, stress was very high, and we were writing a Complex Analysis Exam. It was almost near the time limit when I heard a chair scraping loudly two desks behind me. I looked back only to see one of my fellow students climbing very slowly onto his desk. When he basically had everyone's attention in the near surroundings (There were probably about 1000 people writing exams in the gym at this time), he screamed at the top of his lungs "Pixie dust for everyone!!" And threw handfuls of sparkle confetti into the air. He then calmly got down, grabbed his exam, handed it in, and walked out of the gym. Definately the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in an exam.

shagadog		2003-01-17 11:44:44 AM

8 votes:

An impromptu troop of skydiving nude midgets raided our classroom from the air vents, held us hostage with explosive sausages and demanded to know wether or not Keebler Elves pee hot chocolate.

Nelno		2003-01-17 11:42:14 AM

8 votes:

Well, since I didn't know the course material, I worked out a plan with one of my friends. If the answer is A, he would cough, if it was B, he would sneeze, etc. But on the day of the test, it turned out he actually HAD a cold! You can only imagine the hilarity that ensued, at least untill he tried to pass the answers to me in a note and the teach caught him. Poor bastard, he didn't even rat out on me. Pretty funny huh?

Okay okay, so that didn't really happen to me, I just stole it from a good movie.

OKAY OKAY! So I didn't steal it from a movie, I stole it from farking Family Matters! Go to hell, I hate you guys!

Quartalchondriac		2003-01-17 11:40:25 AM

8 votes:

During my finals in high school a few years back, we used to take them in the cafeteria. We had a big place, and the ceilings were probably 30 feet up at least. So I'm sitting there, finishing the test, when all of the sudden, one of the huge light fixtures falls from the ceiling and lands about 1 foot from where I was sitting... freaked the living jesus out of me.

MayoBoy		2003-01-17 11:39:15 AM

8 votes:

I was getting a rectal exam from Dr. Fat-Fingers and he was lubed up and going at it. I looked on one shoulder and saw his hand and thought

"Hmmmmm, nice ring"

I looked at my other shoulder, saw his other hand and thought

"Hmmmmm, nice Rolex"

Then I thought

"Two hands, what's he using for the exam?"

gilga		2003-01-17 11:38:46 AM

8 votes:

I vas given a schmoke and a pahncake. It vas vierd.

meshman		2003-01-17 09:10:54 AM

8 votes:

The room was so quiet you could hear a mouse fart. The school Gym was used for finals and it had about 500 students in it. I watched as a buddy of mine, seated just ahead and to the left of me, purposely whisks a 6" thick dictionary off his desk in one smooth motion. It hit the floor with a smack you could hear for blocks. Hilarity ensued.

pmegan		2003-01-17 01:48:30 PM

7 votes:

Hmm, I actually have another one... this happened to a friend of mine. By the end of the semester, no one goes to classes much, and the teacher for this class had made it clear that he wouldn't be doing any test prep. Out of a class of about 50 people, 4 came to the last class before the test. My friend was failing the class so she went.

The teacher was pretty shocked, but he taught his class. He used an elaborate example about plums being the #1 export of Washington State, which was a little strange but my friend didn't really care.

Finally, the exam comes. There are a lot of the normal multiple choice questions, and then on the last page, where the essay question should have been, it said "25 points: What is the #1 export of Washington State?"

You guessed it, exactly 4 people in the class got above a 75%l

safeinsane		2003-01-17 12:42:12 PM

7 votes:

During an English exam, of friend of mine was pulling at the drawstring on his hooded sweatshirt. He noticed that those strings are similar to a skein of yarn - start pulling and the rest will unravel.

So he removed the drawstring from his sweatshirt, tied the end of the loose piece to the leg of his desk and handed it to the person behind him. That person then began to wrap the string around their desk. They handed it to someone else...you get the idea.

By the time the exam was over, the teacher was a little befuddled to see her entire classroom enveloped in what looked like a giant spider web. As the bell rang and we exited the class, all I can remember is her mumbling about what a mess it was. She then proceeded to unravel it herself.

This one is true. Vote for this one and not my fart one.

phoxxy		2003-01-17 12:11:31 PM

7 votes:

10th grade I was taking this achievement test of some sort. Anywho, everyone took the test in the cafeteria and everyone was seated at tables together, etc. So, I'm taking the exam and I keep hearing this snuffing noise. Like someone's got to blow their nose. I look up and the guy across the table kept rubbing him nose downt he length of his arm and shiat. It was gross. This went on for about half the testing period when finally, out of the blue he just up and sneezes the most disgusting sneeze. Snot went flying out of his nose and projectiled like a couple of yards or so into the hair of this girl at another table. It was really nasty looking too... yellow green and some other farked up color. It's not like i really looked hard or anything, but it was just a really massive blob. After he sneezed, everyone quietly giggled and the girl even turned around to look at the guy. He was embarrassed and didn't say a farking thing. I think I was the only one who saw where the snot blob went, besides him, because when she left the room after testing, she still had no clue it was wedged in her hair.

Tristran		2003-01-17 12:10:45 PM

7 votes:

I had an oral exam in a cosmology class. It was the only oral exam I ever had, and it was terrifying. My perception was that the topics covered would be wide and shallow, so I studied accordingly. I get to the exam, the prof asks what my favorite part of the course was. This sort of caught me off guard, so I just said the first thing that came to mind.

Big mistake. He spent the next 30 minutes asking me about that subject in detail. I hadn't studied any of it, and I sounded like an utter dumbass. 95% of my answers where, "uh, I uh, don't know."

When I was done, the prof looked at me sadly and said, "We're obviously not getting anywhere with this. Go have a beer." Somehow I got a C in the class. He must be the most forgiving prof ever.

WoolyDoug		2003-01-17 12:10:02 PM

7 votes:

It wasn't me, but my friend Jeff was taking a Spanish test in the back of the class in 8th grade (I'm 30 now), and he unexpectedly vomited. When he looked up he expected the entire class to be staring at him, repulsed, but nobody even noticed, despite what he described as "meaty chunks slapping the linoleum". So rather than make his situation noticed, he finished the test and exited when the bell rang, leaving a disgusting pile for the next student.

Nelno		2003-01-17 11:50:01 AM

7 votes:

Random_Tangent		2003-01-17 11:44:32 AM

7 votes:

I was taking the Net+ exam on one of our workstations. Around the last quarter of the test the CD drive started spinning. Not exactly strange, but it didn't stop spinning.

There was this loud *THUNK* and the drive jumped and my test froze. I managed to pry the drive open and about 300 small fragments dropped out. The Motherfarking CD exploded! I ended up moving to a different station, made a few adjustments to the testing settings and finished in 5 minutse with a near perfect score.

Go me.

cymtex		2003-01-17 11:42:43 AM

7 votes:

About half way through the test I hear someone utter a quiet little "urp".. then a few seconds later I hear water dripping. I look to my left and the guy next to me is staring down at his desk, nose dripping snot, at what looked like 3 gallons of perfectly clear vomit that completely covered the desk and was dripping onto the floor. I'll never forget the look on his face, apparently he hadn't been feeling sick at all because his expression was "What the fark?!"

Sir_boxalot		2003-01-17 11:36:13 AM

7 votes:

Well it was about an hour into my World History final in 10th grade when this huge girl let out a ripping fart.

The rest is history.

Dano64CC		2003-01-17 03:31:29 PM

6 votes:

True story with newspaper clipping too!

For weeks my high school had people walking around above the ceiling fixing the Air Conditioning and trying to get the new Network online. A recipe for hilarity.

So I'm sitting in Freshman Algebra in High School about 30 questions in to a test. Everything was quiet and everyone was paying attention to the test.

Suddenly, we hear what sounds like a wrench being dropped down a Plinko Board. Only problem: It's coming from above. Not two seconds later, the ceiling above our teachers head collapsed. There was insulation and ceiling material everywhere and one of the A.C. vents had fallen to the floor, with the big hose still attached.

Another second later, a maintence worker comes crawling out of the rubbish. His hair was dust-white and he was covered in insulation. He gets up, dusts himself off, says "Sorry to interrupt your class", and walks right out the door like nothing happened.

Every kid in the class was speechless, I mean hell, we thought the bulding was collapsing.

cleaner		2003-01-17 01:33:17 PM

6 votes:

Darkhairedgirl you should have added voting to yours. If you don't mind, here is your post with voting

I dunno about that chick but I've done that in school and college before. It's such a habit now squeezing my thighs together. If you do it just right you can get a short, little pleasurable sensation. It's helped me to relax during stressfull situations. Hell, sometimes I do it just because...even when just sitting here reading fark. I think it's just a habit now. I don't conciously do it. I'm sure other farkettes can relate. I remember in college once, we were taking our American History final. I had my Sociology text book between my legs and kept squeezing it (basically using the spine to press against my crotch) because I was so nervous that I was going to fail.

Sven_Burger		2003-01-17 11:45:27 AM

6 votes:

I was overly frustrated with life and school in general so I purposely picked answers at random on my 10th Grade science exam. Needless to say, you could tell that odds were not in my favor when our instructor announced our scores that one student had achieved a whopping 3%. He took me aside after class, and I was too much of a pussy to admit to him that I failed his exam on purpose because I just didn't give a shiat anymore. I guess he felt sorry for me, so he let me re-take it.. I got a C.

Another cherished High School memory.

Rott		2003-01-17 11:44:11 AM

6 votes:

Oh THANK YOU for reminding me of this- It had been safely closeted away for 20 years... I was in English class, taking a test, when I had to sneeze the mother of all sneezes...and wound up with a handful of snot pressed against my face. I had to get up and stagger out of class with my hand cupped to my face.

I don't think anyone noticed. I am telling myself that anyway.

Godfrey		2003-01-17 11:07:30 AM

6 votes:

Cool story, ~~Rimmer~~... er, Jay_vee.

Weirdest thing that happened near me during a final exam was when one guy asked the teacher if he could go to the bathroom. The teacher, apparently assuming that the guy wanted an opportunity to cheat, denied the request despite the guy's insistence that it was genuine and urgent. A little while later, the guy couldn't contain himself and went in his pants.

MENTALJOCK		2003-01-17 04:46:02 PM

5 votes:

We are in an intro Chemistry final (500 people) at a large university during my freshman year. I look over and see the guy at the end of the aisle taking his zippo and lighting his test of fire. He then gets up and screams, "oh no, my test has spontaneously combusted!!" Another guy next to him had apparently stashed a small bucket of water under his chair, which he promptly uses to throw on the flaming test and the guy who lit it. Both clowns then run away from the professor and TA out of the auditorium. Funniest thing ever.

e-montral		2003-01-17 02:23:54 PM

5 votes:

Not me but a friend of mine.

After handing out a grad level physics exam, the class began one by one asking the prof why all the "h"'s were crossed out. The prof got the joke after the third question.

A vote for me is a vote for yourself needing a beating for getting the story.

TheOtherLumbergh		2003-01-17 01:51:09 PM

5 votes:

I went to high school with ZenPickle and his story definitely checks out.

One of our lower school teachers would hand out graded exams in complete stony silence. If you had farked your test particularly egregiously, he would pull a out McDonald's Application, set it on your desk and walk slowly away.

fiver-		2003-01-17 01:18:27 PM

5 votes:

I cheated on an Ethics test, just for the sake of irony.

kr@t3r		2003-01-17 12:58:22 PM

5 votes:

One of my psychology profs had a wicked sense of humor. Dressed as the grim reaper as he handed out the final. Scythe, cloak, fake skull, the works. Funniest thing I ever saw.

Generation_D		2003-01-17 12:56:23 PM

5 votes:

During a 200 level History exam, the question was

During a History 105 class at Seattle University ..

A question on a final about from what authority does the power of the US Constitution derive...

(short answer)

And I found myself humming Schoolhouse Rock to answer the question...

"We the people.. in order to form a more perfect union..."

So I look up and notice as well several, like four others in the room.. are also tapping their feet or humming Schoolhouse Rock.

Thank you School House Rock, you helped many people in Dr. Harmon's History 105 that day.

jayd42		2003-01-17 12:56:20 PM

5 votes:

It was late at night, and I was studying in one of the computer labs, and I go to the bathroom, and see that someone had hidden a cheat sheet in one of the bathrooms. I remove the cheat sheet, and leave a message saying that the cheat sheet had been moved to another location. At that other location, I leave another message saying that the cheat sheet was somewhere else. I did this about 2 more times. I have no idea how it ended.

FatherG		2003-01-17 12:42:04 PM

5 votes:

Hmmm...lets see.
It is the day of my high school AP bio final. Because of the way my HS set up finals, this was the only test we had to take for the day then we could head home if we wanted or spend the rest of the very short day in the library. So of course a few friends and I decide to spend the time before class toking up in a nearby car, getting thoroughly blazed before the bell rings instead of last minute studying.
One of the people I was smoking with had the same class as I (bio) and we are so blitzed it wasn't funny. Laughing at every little thing, playing paper football while our teacher is explaining things, etc. My friend being the ballsy bastard that he is, starts taking dugout hits and blowing them out the window while teach passes out the tests to everyone. I'm paranoid as hell from the herbage earlier, so I pass on his last minute smoke. The teacher comes to our table, looks at my friend and I and says "I hope there is more on your mind right now than herbalism and botany", sending us into an UNCONRTOLABLE laughing fit.
20 minutes later, we're the first two people to finish the test and go back to killing time until the end of the bell. Since we finished so early and our teacher was already pissed, she started grading our papers on the spot so she could rub the low scores in our faces. Things didn't turn out quite the way she planned.
Thanks to the two extra credit questions she put on the test, I got a 103 and my friend a 101. I don't think I have ever laughed so damn hard at the results from a test before, and I know it must have pissed off our teacher.
Ahhh, memories...

blind_26		2003-01-17 12:22:33 PM

5 votes:

Taking english exam in highschool...

Taking the exam in our computer lab there were 20, 4 computer cubicles across this entire building... 2 students per cubicle...

Finish my exam and see a tenis ball wisk pass my head and get caught by my friend with the largest grin on his face ever.

This was the largest coordinated game of sting i had ever seen. Now the crazy part was this wasnt planned, yet everyone picked up on the idea and we mannaged to illude the fact to the 4 administrators that were walking around the entire exam..

Game went well until an admin got in the line of fire... i think they actually ripped up his exam... but not too sure... didnt see much of that kid after that.. lol

woojoo		2003-01-17 12:16:08 PM

5 votes:

I was a TA for an exam. The class was ADV 281 and intro class with about 600 kids, and every year around rush, Frat guys used the class as initiation. During the class a guy stands up and screams in a sterotypical gay lisp at the guy sitting next to him,

"What do you mean you don't love me anymore?! I'm leaving!"

He then stormed out of the hall leaving this poor kid blushing and not knowing what the hell just happened.

Sharksandwich		2003-01-17 12:13:30 PM

5 votes:

I had to take a make-up exam for my High School Government class. I reported as scheduled to the teacher's office. This guy was a real piece of work, always coming to school looking like a feckin' Mack truck had just run him over. Anyhoo, he hands me the test and jokingly says "No cheating," followed by "and don't drink any of this" while pointing at a huge carton of juice with a straw in it. After getting a good whiff of his alcohol soaked breath, he left the office. I, waited a minute or two until I couldn't hold back, then took a big sip of the juice box. It was, in my keen estimation, a 10 to one mixture of cheap vodka to orange juice. To this day I hate vodka.

Oh, and also the French.

duffy		2003-01-17 11:47:58 AM

5 votes:

During the SAT's- a girl is sitting directly in front of the Proctors desk. The proctor is having a coughing fit and it sounds like she's going to die. The girl is laughing uncontrollably at this and the proctor keeps asking her to stop. The coughing and the laughing keep going and finally the girl gets up, hands in her SAT, and runs out b/c she is literally pissing her pants from laughing so hard.

Grey Fox		2003-01-17 11:42:38 AM

5 votes:

Our class finished a 2 hour exam in 20 minutes...we weren't allowed to leave until the 1 1/2 hour mark, so we just made faces at the people still working trying to make them laugh.

Meh.

Ninja_Pancakes		2003-01-17 11:41:04 AM

5 votes:

Two words:
Explosive Diarrhea

Results:
45% + Deep, dark skid marks.

bitterati		2003-01-17 11:40:29 AM

5 votes:

My sociology final, last semester before I graduated. I woke up 25 minutes after the test had already started, with a wicked hangover, put on a pair of pants and a t-shirt, didn't even brush my hair or teeth, RAN to class, took it. I stunk to high heaven. My friend who had been partying with me the night before (but who wisely knew when to say when) looked up at me from his test and started silently laughing. I was one of the first ones done, I handed in my final, went home and crashed.

We checked our grades together one week later. His grade - 86. My grade - 93.

FarkingAssHat		2003-01-17 11:39:15 AM

5 votes:

Well, I showed up to the final exam after not having been to ANY of the classes all semester. And on top of that, I couldn't find the classroom... PLUS I was naked.

Oh wait, that is a recurring dream I have....

flamingduck		2003-01-17 10:48:06 PM

4 votes:

This happened to a friend of mine..

At some point in the semester, someone figured out that if you threw an eraser at the clock on the wall it would jump ahead a couple of minutes. So of course, everyone discreetly threw things at the clock all semester, and the prof was nice enough to never mention it, or even let on that he noticed. He even let them out according to the time on the wall.

Come exam day, prof hands out the exams, then takes out a big pile of erasers and starts going at it.....

wintereclipse		2003-01-17 05:10:26 PM

4 votes:

I was taking my final test for drivers ed, and we were using scantrons. I was the first person done and I took my sheet up to the teacher at the front of the class where the machine was located. The guy sticks my test in the machine and it proceeds to mark every answer incorrect. The sound was like an entire package of fire crackerws had been set off. The class gasps and stares in awe. The guy picks my test back up, smiles, and proceed to flip it over and reinsert it. I missed three. Found out later that he did that to the first person to finish the test in every class.

llarken		2003-01-17 03:30:28 PM

4 votes:

Damn, came in late in the game. Well here's mine anyway.

Being a theatre major, naturally I had to take Movement for Theatre. Our final exam entailed doing a dance number we choreagraphed ourselves, in costume, ect. On the final day, a guy comes in in blackface and informs s all, "I'm just going to slap my a$$ to the music", pulls down his pants and proceeds to do just that.

scotto		2003-01-17 01:14:00 PM

4 votes:

I guess it was about 1992 and I was taking the midterm exam in my Psych 101 class. My friend Dave sat next to me that semester. Anyway, about 20 minutes into the exam, it's quiet as a tomb. All of the sudden I hear a very loud "mooooooooooOeeeeeeeaaaaaaa!" I look up, completely startled, and see that the girl sitting two seats up from Dave is flipping out, her arms are straight out from her sides, her head's rolling around and she's kicked the desk in front of her forward. Everyone in the classroom is totally frozen in shock. I'm having the hardest time trying not to laugh (I do that when I am startled) and look at Dave; his eyes are as big as saucers, staring at the girl and trying not to laugh too. Finally the girl (who is obviously having a seizure) rolls out of her desk and begins flopping around on the floor like a stabbed fish. That's when the instructor yells 'Everybody out!' and then rushes to the girl, pulling out his wallet to stick in her mouth. Dave and I bailed. I don't know why, but I simply could not stop laughing, it's wasn't that I was trying to be mean, I think it was more the shock than anything.

To make a long story longer, it turned out that the girl had been in an auto accident some years ago and had sustained major head trauma, causing random epileptic seizures. Her doctor had just recently reduced her medication, and that's what brought on the attack. She was so embarrassed she dropped the class. I, on the other hand, still laugh a little when I think of it. I guess I'm just twisted.

Galland		2003-01-17 12:31:29 PM

4 votes:

Oops, now wid votin'! (del prev post plz, thx!)

It was the early nineties. Wil Wheaton and a bunch of other folks were outside shooting the movie titled Toy Soldiers. Our Victorian era building didn't have air conditioning, so the windows were open. While we were taking a math test, Mr. Wheaton and company filmed a shooting death scene on the front steps over and over. It involved mild profanity. Mild profanity aloud is hilarious to 9th graders who aren't allowed to use any profanity.

The movie wasn't anything special but I enjoyed seeing terrorists shooting up my school.

Nyla		2003-01-17 12:28:46 PM

4 votes:

Wow, my stupidity even surprises me. Now with voting. Again...er..whatever.

This last semester in my Child Development class, an old man walked into the room, sat down in the front row, stared at the prof. for about five minutes and then got up and left. All the while he was talking to himself and giving off a smell that reminded me of moldy dishes.

jiggs		2003-01-17 12:04:09 PM

4 votes:

True story #2

My trig teacher in high school handed a graded answer sheet to the kid in front of me along with his final. He was an underclassmen dork who was taking trig and calculus at the same freakin time. He started to raise his hand and I slapped him upside the head (Literally). I think he go thte point and he handed me the sheet.
I tested a couple of answers to make sure it was legit. hten copied all the correct answers to my test. Then I spent the rest of the time working out the answers this person had gotten wrong.
I hadn't studied for shiat, so it took me a while. Got an A.

Somebody up there likes me.

ashe3		2003-01-17 11:56:11 AM

4 votes:

In the middle of my Japanese exam, I got the worst bloody nose I had ever had in my life. The final was being held in a building that I had rarely been in before, and never had to find the men's room at all. I spent 10 minutes trying to find the goddam bathroom, and by the time I got done, my shirt had blood stains all over it and I had to go to work immediately afterwards. Looked like I had butchered someone.

Zenpickle		2003-01-17 11:52:34 AM

4 votes:

[with voting]

Not a weird thing but a cool thing:

Exam for History of the Caribbean. Professor pulls out a stereo and puts in Bob Marley "Legend."

ares		2003-01-17 11:36:44 AM

4 votes:

I once took a final at UT Arlington and I took the test without anything wierd happening. I walked out of the room and realized that I was in the wrong room and had taken my other final at the wrong time... Not to wierd, but weird..

AlvinBlah		2003-01-17 02:23:35 PM

3 votes:

So here are mine.

1. I had cronic nosebleeds in high school, and a quite horrible one was prompted by me sneezing onto a test. Lots of bllod came out instead of snot. When I went to the teacher to ask if I could go to the bathroom, she asked why my nose was bleeding I replied rather nastily that I had been using too much blow, and it just kinda caught up with me. I then asked if she knew how I could score more. Most of the class laughed, but I was sent to the office for trying to buy drugs from a teacher, and I failed the test.

2. Another funny test thing in High School. I was taking a history test, and one ofmy friends was also taking the same test. He sat across the room, about a 1/3rd of the way into the test he started looking really frusterated, and muttering to himself, he then began to tear up his paper and started to swear rather loudly. All of a sudden he jumped up, and started tearing at his shirt and rampaging through the room screaming "The Greeks are the best I can do!!!" The teach had to call school security, and the cops to get him calmed down. I talked to the guy later, and he had in fact been tripping rather hard, and thought he was God. I don't remember anything else about the test.

3. In Middle School I was a big soda drinker, and not a fan of my english teacher, so during one of the final tests in the class (we had a few end tests over a variety of subjects) I had brought over 40 cans of coke in my backpack with me, every 3 minuites or so I would take a coke out of my bag and chug it, then go on with my test. I got through most of my soda by the end of the test and a huge pile of cans on my desk. More than anything everyone in the class was just damn confused. The teacher later asked me to go and speak with a school counsler.

Iam_Canadian		2003-01-17 01:54:35 PM

3 votes:

dude hands in cheat sheet with biology exam.

miraj		2003-01-17 01:49:50 PM

3 votes:

I got in a minute late to take the final for a professor's first class ever, Computer Architecture, so I had to sit at the front of the large class. I got my question sheet and found the first few questions exceedingly difficult. Wondering how the other students were faring, I turned around to see if anybody else was as overwhelmed as I was.

There were a few groans as people read the questions, and to my back-left was an outspoken student holding up his paper by the corner. He pulled out a lighter and LIT HIS EXAM ON FIRE. Nobody but me noticed, and he waited until the exam was halfway consumed until he calmly announced, "Professor, my test is fire".

Needless to say the class turned and stared, then burst out laughing. The student put his test on the floor and stomped it out. The proctor, a nice TA, came over smiling and took the remains of his exam and gave him a new test!

flip22		2003-01-17 01:10:40 PM

3 votes:

No funny, not necessarily weird, but it sure felt goooood:
So, it's 10th or 11th grade and my French class sits down for another impossible exam, courtesy of Madame Snow; coincidentally, the most frigid b!tch one could evAr imagine. Anyway, there wasn't a force strong enough in the world that could help me pass that test, despite my own MOTHER BEING FRENCH. Still, I was determined to do well, and studied for days prior to the exam. Well, when she called for, "pencils down," I snapped; wouldn't you if you had invested all that time and only finished a 1/3 of the test? She didn't care and started grabbing for my paper.
"No," I stated, quietly, yet firmly.
"Excusez-moi?" she responded, shocked, to say the least.
And that was all it took- one more farkin' utterance of ANYTHING French and I exploded into a fury of profanity, to a degree of which even I had no idea I was capable of.
I think I may have freaked her out, b/c she let me keep my exam and just left the room. An hour later, after a much needed break, I turned myself in to the principal's office.
After all was said and done, I walked away w/an hr of detention and the greatest satisfaction I ever got from 4yrs of French classes.
I don't remeber what I scored on that test, but I'm sure as hell she does.

Kusoyaro		2003-01-17 01:06:44 PM

3 votes:

I was taking an organic chemistry exam at Duke U in a huge auditorium. I'd been up all the previous night studying, and the test was intense. The auditorium was packed, and it was deadly silent. Suddenly, someone jumped up screaming at the top of his lungs, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!", tore his test to shreds, and dashed out of the room, yelling "FREEDOM!!"

Turns out, it was a frat prank. A week later, the perpetrator and the heads of the frat were forced to apologize in front of the entire 300+ person class. It was met with applauds mixed with jeers and boos.

Mattevil		2003-01-17 12:57:40 PM

3 votes:

Last semester I had a 8:30 Spanish exam. It was my last exam and I was sleep deprived at the time.My roommate had already gone home so my room was empty and my alarm picks that day not to go off. I wake up at 9:00 to the sound of a phone ringing. It was my teacher who called to make surre I actually made it to class to take the exam. I jump out of bed put some clothes on and haul ass to class. I get there and somepeople have already finished i go as fast as i can but i'm about the last one to finish. I hand it in and get an A. That must be the most forgiving teacher I have ever had.

7fw		2003-01-17 12:56:21 PM

3 votes:

Fresno... not known for its great minds, but here is one from my college days.

My friend Pete and I went into a "Spy" shop located across from the university. We got a small microphone and an ear piece for each of us.

The physics teacher would give us the test then go out and post the answers on a board outside the room. While Pete was in the class taking the test, I would read the answers to the questions off the sheet outside the classroom, through the spy equiptment. Then, when I had the class later in the day, he would do the same. (yeah, different questions).

Mr. Professor never figured out why we got such good grades while never actuially attending class.

joesuspense		2003-01-17 12:53:43 PM

3 votes:

with voting

SATs my senior year in high school.
About 20 minutes into the test I hear a gulping, whining sound. I turned around and saw a very large girl squeezed into her desk holding her hand over her mouth. It was the kind of desk that had the chair attached. Within seconds she clasped both hands over her mouth and vomit started spraying out between her fingers with enough force to cover the guy sitting in front of her. Now, I theorized that she had eaten some strawberry Big Leauge Chew and Hostess snowballs for breakfast, then washed it down with some Pepto Bismol. I swear to god that her vomit was bright pink and had chunks of coconut in it, or shredded gum.

One of the worst parts was that she was wedged so firmly in the desk that when she got up to run to the bathroom she dragged the desk about 10 feet to the door and all the vomit from her desktop flew all over the walls and floor.

The janitor came in and cleaned up the mess. The girl came back, and vomitted again. This time with less force, but still as vivid in color.

Unfortunately, the vomit didn't smell as tasty as the treats it consisted of. They had to move us to the library to take the test and the whole thing was delayed about an hour. The school said that they wrote the SAT board to explain our situation and try to get some special consideration due to the testing environment, but I doubt that happened.

Heeyuck		2003-01-17 12:50:42 PM

3 votes:

Not that it probably matters now, but here it is again, with voting....

I went in to take the computer science GRE subject test my senior year in college. Hardcore test, high stress, dozens of likewise stressed out geeks all piled into one room.

Well, my college decided that on the same day of the GRE, that they would hold a fair right outside the building on the mall. Since the parking lot was on one side of the building, and the mall on the other, no one, not the test takers or proctors knew.

So there we were, sitting in on this test, concentrating, quiet enough you could hear every sniff and every squeak from a sneaker across linoleum when suddenly the theme from star wars blares from outside (I dunno what the song title is but its the one which starts with the one loud note, I think they played it at the medal ceremony at the end of the first movie). Pencils snapped, heads shot up, a girl yiped. Then there's all these dings and we're all suddenly aware of tons of people talking, so we open the shades and there of course is this fair with games, food, and yes, a band, just starting. Within like 20 mins there were thousands of people milling around and the noise became so unbearable that we all had to go to another room.

Of course, instead of taking us to a room on the other side of the building (or the other side of campus for that matter) they walk down the hall, and seat us in a room that's no farther away from the fair as if we had just gone right across the hall. With the noise reduced by, oh, maybe 1db, we had to finish the exam that would determine which graduate program, if any, we would get into.

SilverSun		2003-01-17 12:09:09 PM

3 votes:

During an exam, a friend of mine happened to pass me by, to borrow a pencil from the teacher, I decided to pull on a small peice of paper sticking out his back pant pocket. Unfortunately, out came a looooonnng sheet of paper, with half the text book COPIED on it. Well the rest is history.. he got thrown out, and I got a good ass-whoopin from all my buddies after class. Tis' true..swear to God!!
(sorry.. voting enabled :p)

LaJeffa		2003-01-17 12:02:13 PM

3 votes:

For a three hour Structures exam our prof was an hour and a half late. Our TA couldn't figure out whether or not to let us leave since our prof had the exams. So he finally tells us to go and our prof shows up. Apparently he had to witness an accident and the cops held him there. So he gave us the option to take keep our current grade in the class or take the exam and if we didn't finish questions they wouldn't be held against us. The best final I never took.

Victoly		2003-01-17 11:49:22 AM

3 votes:

Engineering math. First exam of the semester. Fourier transforms and stuff. Five minutes in, one guy gives up. As he leaves, he slams the door open and yells "FARK!". Everybody just stared at the door like, "WTF?!"

Young_Fart		2003-01-17 11:45:51 AM

3 votes:

Well, I once spent so much time cramming for a Calculus exam that, during the test, I started having audio hallucinations. So, I just laid my head on the desk and had a power-nap. Woke up five minutes later and finished the test. Passed, even.

Sleeping during exams was not all that unusual for me, either.

Diogenes		2003-01-17 11:36:56 AM

3 votes:

I took a class on Cuba in college from a Marxist-Feminist (fun gal!). She made us demonstrate that we could dance the Salsa and Merengue before she would give you the blue book.

LaChanz		2003-01-17 06:44:31 AM

3 votes:

Well, I was sitting there with my pencil all sharp and ready to go when all of a sudden this guy sticks a gloved finger up my ....
Imagine my surprise when I learned a rectal exam wasn't part of the class.

sabreWulf07		2003-01-17 06:34:44 PM

2 votes:

High School AP History class. Part of final is to give an oral report on a president, but in a panel-style, debate format with 4 other students.

I am the first to present, and after giving a thorough albiet boring presentation of my argument, I turn to my friend Ed and ask for his rebuttal.

Ed gets an odd look on his face, then it contorts in pain. He falls violently forward out of his chair and across the table - books and papers are flung everywhere as he cries out in agony. Then he flings himself backwards into his chair, clutching his chest and finally slumps to the floor. The entire room is in stunned silence, with the exception of the teacher who rolls his eyes and tells Ed to take his seat.

The bastard fakes a heartattack and gets out of having to do his presentation. Wish I'd thought of that.

TungDog		2003-01-17 04:55:30 PM

2 votes:

I was taking an Electrical Engineering exam and heard a grunt and then the sound of something hitting the floor. I looked up and saw my TA sitting on the floor and my prof standing over him saying "Are you ok?". Turns out he had somehow brushed his leg against an outlet and electricuted himself. He had a horrible limp for the rest of the semester. Kinda sad but also ironic.

naked_man		2003-01-17 04:46:44 PM

2 votes:

St. Paddies day way back when a buddy of mine decided to start his day out right by drinking half a bottle of vodka/cranberrie. In the middle of an Italian III exam he barfed all over some biatchy girl who sat in front of him...goes out to the bathroom and passes out on the floor(HS bathroom floor - pretty gross). The whole school got a show when the ambulence pulled up and they took his ass out on a stretcher. The hospital ended up pumping his stomach with his mummy and daddy watching. To this day he's still not right.

MilkmanOfHumanKindness		2003-01-17 04:38:16 PM

2 votes:

Back when I was in engineering school, it was tradition to give the frosh a week of fun and abuse to start the year. And it all started with the "Math Exam"

We'd herd all the frosh up and take them to a huge lecture hall. Everything would look very official, we had some grad students come in and pose as profs (what do dumb frosh know?) and tell them that they all need to take a calculus exam to determine their placement in first year math. We'd then proceed to pass out our exam, which was of course impossible and not even rational in most places. The frosh would start to freak out, wondering how they were ever going to get through first year. After an hour, we'd collect the papers, march them to the front of the hall, and chuck them in the trash while revealing a big sign that read "Dumb F*cking Frosh!". Then we'd take them out and get them drunk.

The looks on their faces when they find out they've been had is absolutely priceless. It worked so well because we had total buy in from the faculty, they made a good hsow of it. Some of them would get really indignant, and with political correctness you really can't get away with shiat like this anymore.

JohnM		2003-01-17 04:26:17 PM

2 votes:

I remember when I was taking my SAT years ago, someone threw a huge chunk of concrete through a window from the outside. Scared the shiat out of everyone in the classroom.

SingaporeSling		2003-01-17 04:04:14 PM

2 votes:

I sat in on a physics final exam at the Univ. of Illinois in 1976 with about 500 other people. The final was something like 50% of your grade. It was the era when calculators were first being allowed to be used but you couldn't borrow someone else's and if it went out you were screwed (these were the big, clunky ones with the red LEDs). About halfway through the final some guy stood up, yelled "Damn Texas Instruments!" and pitched his calculator against the wall, shattering it into pieces. He then ripped up his test and stormed out of the room.

At the time it was pretty frightening, thinking that it could have happened to any one of us, but right now it's pretty funny.

blastmeh		2003-01-17 03:46:33 PM

2 votes:

Question 25 on my Vertebrate Structure and Function lab final: There's a massive, 3 foot long, heavy cylindrical bone on the desk in front of me.
Q1: This bone is the "Baculum" of a walrus. Where is it found?
My Answer: In the penis!!!111(JeffK 1's included)
Q2: What is its purpose?
My Answer: Structural support, so the walrus is ready to go at all times!!!11
Q3: Where is the homologous bone found in the female?
My Answer: In the clitoris! Which I can never find!
Bonus Question: Why are all the guys in the class green with envy?
My Answer: I really don't see why. That thing would hurt like hell, dragging around on the rocks all the time.

The marker gave me full marks for the question, a smiley face, and a caption saying "Too much information!"
I own school.

Midnight Ryder		2003-01-17 03:15:54 PM

2 votes:

Probably way too late for any good votes but...

I was going to college at WSU at the time this happened, about 10 years ago. (Damn I'm startin' to get old ;-) Two days before the test, I had to go out and do some electrical work for a neighbor who owned a pig farm. His electric water heaters weren't working - no big thing to fix (I only assisted). I threw on my boots, waided around in the muck and pig shait, and fixed it. When I left, I sprayed off my boots to get all the shiat off of 'em, and left them outside. Didn't think much about it.

Two days later, it's time for the final, and it snows. Hm. Grab my boots, put 'em on, and head for class.

So I'm setting in class, and it's about 20 minutes into the class. One side of me is this really fat guy. On the other side is this REALLY cute girl. Then I start smelling something... and it's getting more and more pungent.

It was my boots. They had been setting out in the cold since I used 'em last, and I didn't realize that the smell of pig shait would permeate the leather, waiting to be released when they started to warm up! The smell was begining to be tremendous.

I had one question left when the fat guy on one side of me left. Not wanting to leave a bad impression on the cute girl, specially since I was single at the time, I did the obvious thing. When the professor wasn't looking, I leaned over to her, and whispered "Did you smell that guy? I that that b$#%ard would never leave." and she agreed with me. And promptly left and turned in my paper.

Edgewize		2003-01-17 02:53:26 PM

2 votes:

So I'm taking the AP French exam, after four years of high school french. Or rather, after four years of goofing off with three different teachers and a class of students that ran the school like a mafia family. Whatever we wanted, we got, and we didn't want to learn french. So anyway, I'm taking the AP exam and I realize that I don't know anything, at all. I can't even understand some of the instructions. Time for some fun.

I turn the multiple choice paper sideways and start filling in messages along the rows of multiple-choice bubbles, you know, by filling in the dots in five-pixel-high banner-style. So everyone else is sweating balls and my answers look, at a glance, like:
NOBODY
CARES
BUT THE
FRENCH

The proctor is on the other side of the room so I get the attention of a few people around me, and I hold up my test paper towards them. Everyone grins or gasps and then the proctor starts walking over, so I have to look busy again.

And suddenly I hear the sound of seven people around me erasing furiously.

Psychlone		2003-01-17 02:43:57 PM

2 votes:

A couple from my school days.

In grade 4, I remember vividly taking a spelling test. I was sitting behind the kid with "learning disabilities", shall we say. Part of the way through the exam, he had shiat himself and it was running out the back of his jeans. Teacher got us out of the room and cleaned it up. The weirdest thing was though, the kid has this most serene grin on his face while he did it, like he was doing the best thing he had ever done in his whole life. Still gives me the creeps thinking about it.

I once took and English final while suffering from the flu and a fever. Got the best mark in the class.

stevek		2003-01-17 02:32:17 PM

2 votes:

I don't know if anyone here has ever taken the International Baccalaureate; suffice it to say it's a lot like the APs... anyways, I was taking the standard level exam in physics, which would normally be a two-year course if my school wasn't so weird and sadistic as to only offer it as a one year course.

So, as we're taking the most stressful exam of our lives, on one of the hottest days of the year in May (so our door and windows were open), some asshat freshmen, completely oblivious to the fact that the most high-strung students in school were in a nearby room, decide to have a LOUD conversation in the hallway outside. The proctor was busy grading his own papers from another class and couldn't be bothered to get off his ass and tell the little farkers to shove off.

So, after about five minutes of this, I see one of my classmates (big, scary Polish guy) walk out into the hallway, and we all hear this loud *SMACK* as whichever freshman was closest got slammed face-first into the wall. He walked back in, closed the door, sat down and finished his test. From what I hear he got a pretty good grade on the exam too.

DIEOptix		2003-01-17 02:20:48 PM

2 votes:

This one is not test related, but it happened during Calc II, but anyway, I was sitting in the back of class as I normally did with some buddies of mine. Also in the back were these two sorta slutty girls that always flirted with two of my buddies in the back. Now the professor was hard of hearing and he'd go on and on about calculus and stuff and nobody would pay attention. So one day the blonde girl says in a semi-loud whisper, "I like anal." Of course me and my buddies have our jaws scraping the floor and almost everyone turned towards the girl in the back of the room that likes butt stuff. The professor was oblivious to the girl's declaration and I had to move seats away from the pair or risk never paying attention again.

many kittens died that day.

BillDarryl		2003-01-17 02:11:57 PM

2 votes:

Not weird but... an actual 8 P.M. conversation between me and my couch-potato-channel-surfing college roommate:

Me: I'm going to the library to pull an all-nighter for tomorrow. I am not ready for this test.

Roommate: (lands on a channel) Ever see 'Ernest Goes to Jail?'

Me: No.

Roommate: It's funny.

Me: OK. (puts books down, lays down on other couch)

Watched the whole movie, got a B on the final.

deimos99		2003-01-17 01:53:20 PM

2 votes:

So I'm sitting in my Biology midterm, in an auditorium, with at least 300 people in the room. Then, from the side, some guy on a bike rides in, proceeds to ride down the stairs, and falls all the way down. Everyone begins laughing, even the prof, and the guy jumps up, grabs his bike, and runs out of the door at the bottom.

zoloftria		2003-01-17 01:38:22 PM

2 votes:

Well, this didn't happen during an exam but while studying for exams, and everyone I tell this to finds it pretty amusing... During finals in December I pretty much had 3 exams in a row, 2 on one day and 1 the next day at 9 AM- botany, ecology, and genetics. 2 nights before the first of those exams there was a going away party for a bunch of exchange students in my dorm so I got no sleep that night. The next day I didn't sleep either because I was studying. By this time I was eating spoonfuls of instant coffee to stay awake. The night before my genetics final I was actually having hallucinations. Sitting in my dorm room studying with my fan on, I kept seeing cats in my peripheral field of vision. I had my period too so was all bloated and cramping and biatchy. Of course, when I finished my genetics final at noon I immediately resumed drinking. I got all As and A+s that term. I rule.

Damn_Conservative_Media		2003-01-17 01:27:46 PM

2 votes:

I was taking an introductory cognitive psychology class when I was a senior in college. Of course, being an introductory course, it was filled with freshmen, sophomores and wankers (for example myself). At the end of the semester, everyone sits down to take the final exam in the large, recently built amphitheater style room the class was in that semester. About fifteen minutes go by and then a girl sitting directly in front of me (one tier down) stands up, starts tearing up the test, screams "Fvck this shiat" and runs out of the room. Everyone stops for a minute, laughs, the teacher makes an amusing comment and the test commences.

A few things make this a rather sad story actually. First of all, that was probably the easiest class I ever took in college. So, not only did she likely attend class the entire semester, but she probably also did quite badly. The story is even more pathetic because I saw her in a computer cluster later that same day bragging about the incident to a friend. Telling him how she had planned it all out, left her backpack in a specific place so it would be easy to run etc.

Jack Squat		2003-01-17 01:15:04 PM

2 votes:

DUFFY-
Cleveland Ohio + Brothers of the Holy Cross = St. Edward HS
Class of 1982

Here's my sad story-

I farted, then threw up, then cheated and got 100% A+ and really showed that Prof/TA/Teacher something, then we all had to leave the room, all while strung out on acid, pot and 40 oz.ers, even though I never went to class that semester.

Best.Name.Ever		2003-01-17 01:13:02 PM

2 votes:

I just remembered this one: During my freshman year of college, I was really struggling with Calculus 1. I had an F, but only one point below a D. The final exam was brutal, and on the last question, I wrote a big paragraph explaining that if I got an F in the class, I'd lose my scholarship, and my parents would kick me out of the house, and my life would be ruined. I hoped the prof would be nice enough to give me a D, afterall, it was only 1 point.

But no, the asshat gave me an F anyway, and I felt like a real pansie for begging on the final. Anyway, I retook the class the next semester. There were 30 students starting out. Some Hungarian woman was the prof and couldn't speak very good English. After the first day of class, all but me and 2 other students dropped the class. So it was me, the Hungarian prof, a Vietnamese student (poor engrish) and this other smart girl. The smart girl had an A going into the final, so the prof said she didn't have to take it. Me and the Vietnamese girl still had to take it. So we show up on Final Exam day, and there's no prof. After awhile of waiting, the Dean comes in and says that the prof had to be sent back to Hungary because her visa expired. He handed us the test and said he would fax it to the prof to be graded. A few days later I learned I got another F. So the next year I had a cool prof, and finally got an A. Graduated with honors in Electrical Engineering a couple years later. Take that, you crappy, no-bra-wearing Hungarian.

xj14y		2003-01-17 01:10:45 PM

2 votes:

i knew I had blown Chemistry - Junior Year of high school. No way in hell I was going to pass it. I played connect-the-dots on the Scantron.

Made a B

akimbotoo		2003-01-17 01:04:58 PM

2 votes:

I had something weird happen BETWEEN exams once. I was taking the Chiropractic National Boards Part II. There were two tests in the morning, a lunch break then two tests in the afternoon. Very intense. I drove over to McDonalds and brought back lunch to eat in my car. I was listening to a local radio station while I ate. This radio station had a kind of membership card with a number on it. At the time they were trying to be the first station with current information on traffic conditions in LA. Anyone who saw traffic problems could call them and they would announce over the radio where the traffic was backing up and give alternate routes. This radio station was running a contest and if they read the number on your card and you called them within 30 minutes you would win a free car payment. Well, they read my number. I ran in to the pay phone and called them, and won $350! I didn't have a car payment at the time, so they gave me $250 plus $100 for gas. Kind of cool, and strange at the same time!

drgeoffrey		2003-01-17 12:50:34 PM

2 votes:

I was taking the SAT. Yes the real thing, not the practice.
In the middle of one of the modules, a voice came on the loudspeaker and said that anyone that parked on treet X had to move their car immediately or it would be towed.
They weren't joking, so in the middle of the fricking SAT, dozens of us had to leave the test, run out to the car and move it.
The reson we parked on that street was the rest of the lot was already over full. So I drove down the hallway of this high school, parked next to the classroom I was taking the test in, and finished off the exam.

Cipster		2003-01-17 12:45:05 PM

2 votes:

In a Med Scool exam this girl a few seats over started panicking and was hyperventilating until she actually passed out. The Professor came over and made her breathe into a paper bag until she came to.

haplo53		2003-01-17 12:43:31 PM

2 votes:

When I was in high school, I took an SAT practice exam at a local college. Everyone in the course was motoring along, completing their tests, when all of a sudden we heard loud explosions that went on for several minutes. It turned out that Civil War reenactors were staging a battle on the lawn right next to the building in which we were taking the test.

CandyPink		2003-01-17 12:31:21 PM

2 votes:

The night before 2 of my finals my freshman year of college, my bf-at-the-time stumbled into 75 hits of Jerry Garcia watercolors acid. For free. A huge house party ensued. I figured that even though my first exam was scheduled for 10am, I would have plenty of time to trip most of the night, pass out for a few hours and get back to normal, then go take my finals. By 8am I was still tripping my ass off and didn't have enough money for a cab. So I made the 45 minute walk back to campus, took a shower and tried to look halfway normal, and went to take my final. It was a make-up exam (I'd missed when the prof. had said the final would be on the last day of class, not the published 'final time', but the prof. had been nice enough to give the make-up for me & another guy who had missed it).
The test was in a small room down a lot of long, complicated hallways in a building I'd never been in, and after I somehow got through the multiple-choice questions, I couldn't find my way back out of the building for about 10 minutes. I waited around at the student union until my 12:30 exam (still tripping but not as strong anymore), and somehow made it through that one, too. The whole time I was convinced that at least 4 other people in the room were tripping, too. I went back to the house after my finals and everyone else was still wide awake & tripping.

The really weird part? I got better grades on those 2 tests than any of my other finals.

Oh, and just say no.

safeinsane		2003-01-17 12:27:59 PM

2 votes:

I farted.

Vote for me.

drgeoffrey		2003-01-17 12:25:56 PM

2 votes:

I always struggled in math. One time, I showed up to the exam late, and had to sit in the frnot, center seat. When I opened page 1, I decided the problems on that page were too hard, so I'd skip taht and return to it later. After doing that for all the pages, I started hacking at a problem. In the pure silence, I shifted my weight and ripped a giant fart.
BRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!!
What could I do? There was a slim chance that the people in the back of the room would think it was the guy next to me, so I couldn't turn around to see if anyone looked up, because then they would know it was me...
So I sat there, sweating, cursing the world. I bombed the exam and get a speeding ticket on the way home. Bad day.

TyroneSlothrop		2003-01-17 12:24:02 PM

2 votes:

For an Epistemology final in college we had to choose from a selection of texts and deliver an oral report to the class on it. Each text was authored by a 'modern' philosopher, and there were not enough essays for each student to be the only one giving a report on any given text. My professor decided that I should tackle "Two Dogmas (or is it three, I can't recall now) of Empiricism," by W.V. Quine. Another student decided to take on the same text under the pretext that he could 'study' with me.

I had been doing very well in the class, and this other student had not been doing as well as he wanted to do. He approached me after class and asked if we could study together for the final. I agreed, because at the time, a friend of mine and I had a regular study session for the class which became kind of infamous for being booze and drug addled sessions that somehow managed to be useful to people. Over the next couple of weeks this other kid called me like three times trying to get a time to study with me that managed to fit into his complicated social life. We never managed to study together, and with the booze and the drugs I never really thought about it that much.

Fast forward to the day of the test. I give my test and get a good grade on it, polite applause, a few moments of nice words from the prof. This other kid gets up and starts rambling about something that kind of resembles what I said but with the addition of some seriously innacurate material. As the speech continues the made up stuff becomes obvious and the rest of the class is picking up on it. The kid starts getting flustered and his speech is quickly turning from joke to train-wreck. Finally the teacher stops him and demands an explanation, something like, "Am I and your classmates some sort of joke to you," the kind of thing you can't even approach answering. Out of deparation the kid starts kind of apologizing, kind of justifying, "Quine is really hard, and stuff, and besides," then he points to me and says, "TyroneSlothrop wouldn't let me study with him,"

Funny and weird and the kid had to come back to school during summer to give another report on the same text.

j0n		2003-01-17 12:05:26 PM

2 votes:

I took a Computer Science exam after dropping 4 hits of acid. I got a 77.

Darth_Angelus		2003-01-17 11:56:28 AM

2 votes:

Pretty pathetic, but I was taking a calculus final, and I was there for a good hour, before I realized I was taking the wrong exam. It was the same professor, but I was taking the Honors test instead of the regular one. Figured it out when the final quesiton had something on it I had never heard of.

Looked like such an idiot going up and telling him my mistake... ran two floors down to take the correct one with about 45 minutes to do it in.

duffy		2003-01-17 11:53:47 AM

2 votes:

In law school my friends and I would always bet on who in our class would finish the test first. Now you are only tested twice per year (midterm and final)- and they are your ONLY grades and the tests usually last about 3 1/2 hours per class. I would usually bet on myself and win the free lunches. Grades schmades- at least I got free patty melts.

Brad_Will		2003-01-17 11:43:22 AM

2 votes:

I was taking a Linguistics exam, and I really, really, really had to take a leak. I told the prof, and he said that there was no way that he could let me leave the room. I explained the severity of the situation to him, and he finally let me go. BUT.

He said that he'd have to follow me to the bathroom to make sure that I wasn't pulling any crib sheets out of my pocket or anything. He stood over my shoulder the whole time I was at the urinal. Good thing I don't get stagefright. Good thing I didn't have to take a dump, either.

Rasputin		2003-01-17 11:40:43 AM

2 votes:

The weirdest thing I can remember is once my friend, Ari, went to a final exam. Down on the Front chalkboard something was written, we didn't pay much attention to it at first. But then when we looked at it, we realized it said "Ari had sex on this table" No one we knew did this as a prank or anything. I went to a huge school, 40,000+ and we think there was another Ari at the school, but we could never confirm it.

b0rg9		2003-01-17 08:57:33 AM

2 votes:

I watched the dude that always copied my schematic homework for audio engineering freak out when he was unable to look at others' work for the final. Well, I guess that part isn't really weird. The weird part was he barely passed yet made it into one of the twenty slots for admission to the audio program and I didn't despite A's and B's in all prerequisite classes.

Oh well, dude was some poser pretty boy and our teacher/dept. head was some Pete Townshend-esque former Abbey Road Studios grunt -- I think he had a thing for big haired yankee rocker boys in spandex and muscle shirts.

That was over fifteen years ago. I'm not bitter. Really.

Sprotch		2003-01-18 06:05:17 PM

1 votes:

Hey why did nothing special happen to me ??

Well, I did forget to wake up for a final exam (who puts those things at 8 AM anyway ?). Passed the class anyway (not gloriously).

A vote for me is a vote for you !

KarateGirl1313		2003-01-18 12:14:19 AM

1 votes:

Two years ago, my 6th grade teacher gave us a quiz on Mexico-15 chapters ahead of where we were.
"I trust that you all did your studying as I told you." he solemnly told us.
The test was met with "what the fark"s and I was panicked. My boyfriend tapped me on the shoulder and gestured towards the bottom of the page. It read:
To recieve a 100% on this test, flip it over and draw a happy face on the back. Have a nice day!
We began giggling. Uncontrollably. The class stared at us, bewildered. Finally, the teacher told the rest of them, and we both got an A. It was all good, except for the class nerd, who had read ahead. Funny!

purecoda		2003-01-17 11:15:23 PM

1 votes:

Not wierd, but very funny

I was in a final at the University of Florida, and it was ROUGH! The class was all quiet and nervous, you know how it is. Anyhow, some dudes cell-phone went off, with the intro to Beastie Boys "Girls". And right when it got to the point where they first say "girls" about half the class yelled it out! LOL! After that, and about 5 minutes of ensuing hilarity, we calmed down enough to get back to the test.

A VOTE FOR ME, IS A VOTE FOR HILARITY!

sillijilli		2003-01-17 11:05:25 PM

1 votes:

It's a toss-up for me...
1)My AP Calc BC exam was scheduled at the same time as the Calc AB exam, so we (having less than half the number of students) were forced to take the exam in a classroom adjacent to the shop garage. It was dusty and dirty, but there was a strong smell of disinfectant. We all make it through the exam, eyes watering, plenty of coughing, etc. Few weeks later, out teacher admitted to us that a disgruntled auto shop student had sh@t and pissed all over the room the night before, and it had been cleaned up only an hour or so before our exam. Of course I got a 5, but thats beside the point.

2)My numerical methods class was made up of two section, chemical enineering and biomedical engineering, but they were taught in the same lecture. The two profs were supposed to alternate lectures, but for some reason the biomed prof always blew his off, leaving the chem prof to teach the material. The guy would actually come into the auditorium and go to sleep in the back! So when exam time comes around, chem prof makes up a nice practice test, which we all study from. We find out that the biomed students are taking the exam in a smaller room upstairs, so I go and get my exam and sit down. None of the questions were on material we had covered! The biomed prof had written his own exam based on some stuff he thought we might have learned, with 30% of it based on a problem he discussed on the one day he lectured...but never finished solving!!! I struggle through it, basicly deriving all the things I needed, when about 30 minutes into the exam the class slacker turns in his paper, walks into the hall and shouts "What the fark was that about!" at the top of his lungs. I finally finish, and turn the exam in, but figure I've bombed it. That, plus questionable performance in another class make me decide to drop engineering alltogether, so I drop them both, before I get the exam back. Funny thing is, I got the second highest grade on the exam....that'll teach me to be proactive.

soothsatyr		2003-01-17 10:04:44 PM

1 votes:

1. High school. American History with the most feared teacher in the school, a man who regularly gave out F- grades. Who drew four-color maps of individual engagements from every war FROM MEMORY. Who listed numbers of troops, number and kind of ordnance, length of engagement, number dead, number wounded who later died, also from memory. Who found the textbook inadequate so he wrote his own supplements to it. And all he taught us was war. War war war war war war war (except Korea, which was a Police Action). Students would biatch, parents would question him on covering the depression in twelve minutes, but it was ever the same. His tests were all multiple choice, hard as hell, and impossible to bluff through. And the final exam was to be on "everything I want you to remember from this class".

Mere words cannot begin to describe the gut-wrenching terror we felt walking into that classroom. When the bell rang he drew a single line all the way across the 20 foot long chalkboard and then cut into tiny bits, labelling each one with a war. He was creating, from memory again, the damn showoff, a timeline covering the history of the US from 1770 to the then-present, with every goddam war's duration graphically represented, usually more than one at a time. You could smell the sweat in the room, and the muted whimpers were deafening.

He finished, turned to us, and said, "This is American history. If you don't like it, do something about it." And then he left the room.

Many of us cried. Best lesson I ever learned, except for how to put a condom on a banana.

golrien		2003-01-17 08:56:20 PM

1 votes:

Slightly offtopic, but entirely true. A guy had annoyed me in some way (I forget how) and this was right before a maths GCSE exam. At that point I did possibly the most evil thing imaginable: switched his calculator from degrees to radians.

He noticed in about the last five minutes of the test, and he was desperately going through the paper redoing all the trig calculations, because they were all completely wrong. Very funny.

He passed with an A.

DixieNormus		2003-01-17 07:47:40 PM

1 votes:

The best exams are the ones that you aren't ready for. Every day before religion 101 my friend and I would go to the vending machine and get some bags of chips, some sodas, and leisurely stroll into class late, then proceed to noisily munch on our snacks.

One day, following this pattern, we completed our food, and finally noticed that nobody was talking. The instructor was absent, and there were TA's standing around the auditorium. Everyone else had their heads down, staring at something riveting. We thought the instructor was just late or something, which is why we kept eating.

We ended up handing in the exam late because it took us a good 15 minutes to finish our food, realize what was going on, and gather up enough courage to walk down to the pile of exam booklets in the front of a full, silent auditorium after distracting most everyone with our crackling cellophane bags and soda slurping.

That was the first time in my life I understood fully the term "that sinking feeling."

Genesplicer		2003-01-17 06:26:16 PM

1 votes:

This was not about an exam that I took, but what I perpetrated during finals week. I managed to get ahold of some of the physical plant's letterhead. I got the schedule for finals and located the largest classroom in each of seven buildings that had a final at 10:00AM. Across each door I strung a strip of yellow "Warning" tape like the police use, and a note on Physical Plant letterhead that read:

"Warning, due to unsafe conditions, this classroom is closed. All classes please report to room ML-217."

ML-217 is a small classroom in the main library that could hold about 20 people, tops.

At 9:15 I sat myself in the hallway by ML-217 and waited as about 150 people showed up to take their finals in a room that held 20.

I sorta feel guilty about this now, but, as I did this nearly 20 years ago, I can chalk it up to "A Youthful Indiscretion."

RogerClemente		2003-01-17 04:50:44 PM

1 votes:

My Chemistry 10 teacher was a 70-year-old man from India. During the exam, someone cut a huge fart, and the teacher says "Someone's got internal combustion." The class laughed. True story.

For a physics test, not the exam though, I purposely didn't do the test and instead wrote a story about a guy who got his arm ripped off by absolutley nothing and stuck it in the test. I don't know if the teacher read it, but I gotta final score of 8/50 on the test. I've never gotten any more respect from other students than from that. True story.

neglogon		2003-01-17 04:48:24 PM

1 votes:

I crawled into my Math Methods Physics final, still drunk, and took the exam. Passed out till Monday morning, when I found out i scored a 99/100, with the next highest score 47. Ah, the positive powers of drinking.

Lorelle		2003-01-17 04:43:29 PM

1 votes:

USC biology midterm exam, March, 1981. About 20 minutes into the exam, someone burst into the room and yelled, "The President's been shot!" The professor sent a TA out to find out if the news was true, and everyone continued on with the exam. About 10 minutes later, the TA came back and confirmed that it was true. The professor didn't postpone the exam as everyone had hoped, but gave us extra time to complete it.

null		2003-01-17 04:13:41 PM

1 votes:

I take ACT and SAT exams for fun even though I'm attending community college. I took the ACT this past December, and during the entire exam, there were like 6 people all snuffling like they had extremely runny noses and no tissues to use for a good blow. So I was there whizzing through it, and the entire time I hear *snort* *SNORT* *schnooOOOOK* *SCHONK*. I swear it was some sort of coordinated cheating scheme.

And an hour afterwards I had a American History (post-Civil War to Present) final. Got a 33 composite score on that ACT and must have got an A on the History final, because I got an A for the class (I needed to score within 93% on it and my final paper to get an A).

madchen		2003-01-17 03:39:11 PM

1 votes:

I was going to my first semester of UNLV... and I moved into the dorms. However, I still had to drive across town each day to go take my high school finals (I graduated in January.) That was weird, and made me miss the first of my college classes.

Right before that, I took a math placement test for UNLV. I called and they said, "You didn't place." I was a physics major, and wound up at Adult Education taking basic algebra. Then they found out they gave about half the people the wrong test. Dumb --ses cost me time and money.

sp		2003-01-17 03:37:06 PM

1 votes:

I got to the fourth question and realized the first four answers were "B". I looked at the professor and he just smiled. I filled in forty-six more "Bs" and left.

Geeker		2003-01-17 03:07:18 PM

1 votes:

I had a 100 level physics class where, for the final, the answers on the scantron turned out to follow this pattern:

xoooo
oxooo
ooxoo
oooxo
oooox
oooxo
ooxoo
oxooo
xoooo

and so on for all 50 questions. Thinking to myself "this has to be a trick" I had one answer that didn't fit the pattern that I was pretty sure of so I left it. Turns out that's the only one I missed. I asked the prof about it later and he said that yes, it was intentional, and that you had to know what you were doing before you could even see the pattern.

The funny part is that they grade curve for the results was a normal bell curve (low C average for that class).

Stile4aly		2003-01-17 03:05:00 PM

1 votes:

Though I suspect it was staged, the strangest thing that ever happened in an exam took place during my Organic Chemistry final in college.

15 minutes into the test, this guy stood up, took his test down to the prof at the front of the room, threw his paper down on the desk, walked outside and screamed:

"Goddamn motherfarking chemistry sons of biatches. FARK!!!!"

It sure broke the tension in the exam.

ravana		2003-01-17 02:53:59 PM

1 votes:

vote for me cuz I have a systems 2 project due in an hour and I am sitting and reading all the stuff on here :(

Procrastination Rules!

Hau'oli Haole		2003-01-17 02:47:31 PM

1 votes:

Sadly, enabling voting wasn't taught in my school. Please see post of 01-17-03 02:46:13 PM Hau'oli Haole
Gracias.

Awldun		2003-01-17 02:46:31 PM

1 votes:

Where: Chemistry Lecture room, Central Campus, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor.

During the exam someone behind me yells out, "God! I can't stand you touching me like that!" and jumps up looking disgusted at the person next to him and storms out of the lecture hall.
Then I peed my pants.

JerseyGuy415		2003-01-17 02:42:53 PM

1 votes:

Not thinking I had anything important to do that day, I smoked a mid-afternoon bowl or 7 with some friends and went to my night class. On the ride over there, I asked my friend in the class (he wasn't stoned) when the exam was since I hadn't been to class in a week or so. He said it was at the end of the month and we continued on. When we got to class, everyone was filling out scantrons. I asked someone if they were filling out a survey or something, but of course, it was time for exam number one of the semester. I still almost managed to pass, but it sure killed my high.

eddyH		2003-01-17 02:42:45 PM

1 votes:

Strangest thing was i actually had a test today, and i only -really- started reading up for it two days ago (after having, what, a month over the holidays). And despite not being able to keep my mind on it and doing lots of decidedly odd doodles and maths in the back of the answer book... I still finished ahead of time having answered all the questions with a ream of stuff. That NEVER happens. Have to see what the grades are like.

The crappy thing is I finished 14m and 47 seconds before the end, and you're not allowed to leave the exam hall less than 15m before the end (such a retarded rule). Dammit. So went back and added three more paragraphs of loosely related bullshiat onto the last answer. Now I'm wishing I'd been smart and took a beer along or thrown pixie dust about. Or hell, even just create a big pornographic mural on the desk.

Then there was this one time when I woke up late for school one day when my parents had to go out of town, and it was an important end of year exam... no breakfast, only one pen for a test that requires a pen and pencil, no money for the bus or train... sloppily dressed, onto broken-down bike, pound the hilly 3-ish mile route there in record time (about 12 minutes, fuuuuuuck)... get in there, a few minutes after the exam. Answer a couple questions then feel really unwell, in a really odd way. Ask to be excused to go to the toilet. Dry hurl for a while, nearly pass out, gasp down probably three pints of water (it was a summer exam). On the way out there's a teacher waiting for me with a worried look, apparently I'd gone a really nasty shade of purple. Went back and finished the exam, got a severe talking to about that kind of thing afterwards. ODdly it was the best mark I got out of the whole year.

And that was about the wildest thing that ever happened in my exams. :(

Hyoga		2003-01-17 02:25:04 PM

1 votes:

During the World History final in Sophomore year I had to leave early to go to Mexico with my parents. So the exam beguins and this girl, sitting on the top part of the seat of her desk starts to tweak backwards as I see this out of the corner of my eye. And so she slowly starts to fall down and BAM! Hit the floor and starts laughing, then my mom walks in and has the best confused look on her face I have ever seen.

FarkinCyclop		2003-01-17 02:23:03 PM

1 votes:

In the middle of one of my intro CS classes, during freshman year, I fell asleep while answering a question. My writing hand stayed where it was, and my head just rested on the test.

10 minutes later, I wake up and finish answering the question, and moved backwards to answer a previous question that I had no idea how to answer.

I was damn shocked to get a perfect A on that test.

Uranium235		2003-01-17 02:14:31 PM

1 votes:

My first exam in general Chemistry at College.
We were sitting around waiting for the prof to show up. Evantually a cop enters the room, tells us there has been a bomb threat, and we must evacuate the building. Myself and a few others meet our prof outside, he give us our exams, and we take it at the library (honor policy!).

Turns out someone from my class called in the threat. She was promply expelled. . .

All true, honest. . .

chtorran		2003-01-17 02:06:32 PM

1 votes:

This didn't happen to me, but a friend who lived in my dorm pulled this one off...

He had gotten completely tanked the night before, and slept through his differential equations final exam. This teacher was notorious for being a hardass, and would never let anyone take make-up exams.

My friend got some gauze from the campus infirmary and soaked it in barbeque sauce and ketchup from the cafeteria. He wrapped it around his head and told the professor he had been in a horrible car accident.

He got to take a make-up test, and he passed. I knew this professor for 4 years, and this was the only make-up test he ever gave anyone.

Just_a_Bear		2003-01-17 02:03:08 PM

1 votes:

Two stories:

Remember those evil blue books? Every week I had a Physics quiz that used them, and one of the meanest profs ever to walk the earth. One lousy week, they were handing out the blue books, and as I reached for mine, got the paper cut from hell. As in bleeding visibly. Then I had to take the @#$^* quiz on top of it.

My wife didn't need the SAT exam to get into college, so she took it completely high. Didn't even open the exam book, just filled in the little scantron circles in pleasing patterns. Got over 1000.

Badger		2003-01-17 02:00:29 PM

1 votes:

Not my story but funny still...

It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please."

TheBuckshotShow		2003-01-17 01:52:28 PM

1 votes:

Arrived for the exam to find out the proffesser had just died earlier that day while playing squash....

It was deferred...

K-jack		2003-01-17 01:48:04 PM

1 votes:

two things.

1) watching three people run out of breslin center crying and another holding back vomit during the first day of my bar exam.

2) forgetting about an 8:00 a.m. exam my freshman year, taking 'shrooms at 3:00 a.m., remembering about the exam while tripping, taking the exam while i was still tripping. i ended up getting an a (no shiat).

DIEOptix		2003-01-17 01:47:47 PM

1 votes:

This story is not so much weird as it is neat.

I took an AP bio class in high school and the instructor was notoriously stringent (compared to the other 2 AP bio instructors), but was known to be a bit of a party animal and showed up to some of the classes red-eyed and had alcohol on his breath. He liked to joke around, but his mood swings were so wild that it frighten the hell out of most of us. Some of his teaching technique included throwing chalk at some of the kids that were slow to answer questions (me included) and getting angry.

The class took two periods a day and the tests were held over those two periods. He set up the exams just like the AP exam, one long multiple choice and an extremely long, arduous essay section. So we take the scantron part first which for me was relatively easy. I usually finish with a good 20-25 minutes left in the period, but the kicker was that we couldn't start the essay portion till the next period. We had advance knowledge from the previos year's class that his essays were a really tough SOB to tackle and we were supposed to answer all the essays (usually 3-5) in very good detail.

Of course nobody EVER finishes the essay portion. The highest grade in the class was usually in the 60's or 70's and the tests even stumped the smartest, most studious kids in the class. As the semester progresses, we see small improvements in our scores, but our averages would still be in the 60's for the most part and our mid-semester report cards would register the low averages.

When the semester ends we all are in for a shock as he gave out grades that were around 20 points higher than the exam averages. We were in for an even greater shock when at least 75%-80% of the class of about 30 students got a score of 4 or 5 on the AP exam and most of our class finished the AP with plenty of time left, well ahead of the 100 other AP bio exam takers that semester. Our overall score average was the highest for any class at the school. Of course the instructor didn't get to enjoy the credit since he was kicked out due to his behavior and accusations of insubordination.

paradroid		2003-01-17 01:39:34 PM

1 votes:

I looked up from my Life Sciences test in 8th grade in response to a sudden flash of light. Ahead of me, Sean F., who had already been kicked out of class and was supposed to leave, had stuck his keys into the electrical outlet.

He was okay.

pmegan		2003-01-17 01:30:30 PM

1 votes:

In my high school all the students took exams together in either the library or the gym. My freshman year, it turned out both were overbooked for my math exam so they moved my math class to a different classroom to take the test. The thing was that there weren't enough proctors for this extra room, so basically my class was alone in a room with this exam for pretty much the entire exam, without any supervision. It was so strange, that I don't think it even occured to us to talk about the test to eachother, even though we spent the whole time talking to eachother, sharing snacks, throwing pencils at eachother, and climbing around the desks. But not a single one of us cheated.

Iamos		2003-01-17 01:29:39 PM

1 votes:

I took a literature midterm under fire.

We had a bunch of construction going on around campus, so a lot of classes were forced into the same building that had the ROTC firing range. I'm trying to write about Keats, and every few seconds there's a rifle shot reverberating around the room.

What made it even stranger is that the prof went to school at Berkley in the 60's.

Maveno		2003-01-17 01:27:37 PM

1 votes:

Well, taking acid in the 80's wasn't all that big of a deal. But it is when you're suppose to be taking a test at school.

My friends and I took some "window-pane" acid and went to science class. (10th grade) One of my friends stands up in the middle of the test and starts screaming like she's just witnessed a murder. Kept turning around looking at everyone with WIDE EYES, then runs out of the room. I ended up leaving cause I couldn't stop laughing. She had to of ran home because I didn't see her the rest of the day.

TwistedIvory		2003-01-17 01:27:12 PM

1 votes:

During my SATs in high school. . .

One of my close friends, Lee, was a really intelligent guy but also a purveyor of fine tetrahydracannibol products. In any case, the night before the test he was up way too late with Smokey the Bong. He came in to the test room at 9AM, on time, and sat down next to me. He told me that he'd had an hour of sleep -- and I believed it, he looked EXHAUSTED.

The proctor handed out the exams. Lee took his exam and laid his head down on his arm for a minute while the proctor read the instructions.

The exam began, and Lee was fast asleep; I couldn't wake him for fear of being accused of cheating. Lee slept through the entire first section.

The proctor woke him up when time was called for the first part. We then began the second section. Lee picked up his pencil, answered three questions, and looked at the test in a really confused manner.

He then set the pencil down on the desk, stood up, and left the room.

All without saying a word.

Lee's now in Canada with the good MJ. Every once in a while I get a really creative e-mail from him. :)

--TI

Cdr		2003-01-17 01:10:23 PM

1 votes:

CambAngst - Along those same lines, I heard (though never saw) that a friend one time at the 'tute did a similar thing, except about 20 minutes into the test he stood up, cried "I can't take it anymore", tore up the exam, and ran out.

I had another friend who fell asleep in his class in 10-250, and when he woke up, it was the next class and they were taking a test. So he took it. He was a little weird, that one...

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke		2003-01-17 01:10:01 PM

1 votes:

Beware_The_Lollipop: Ken Tucker, you farkhole nerd, you ruined my life! Because of you, I couldn't get into law school. I ended up working in this damn bodyshop! With a MULLET!

KKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

/failed 'Bama frat guy

h8red		2003-01-17 01:07:05 PM

1 votes:

Now with voting enabled
============================================
I was asked to put my feet in the stirrups.

Oops, wrong kind of exam.

Jack Gladney		2003-01-17 12:59:09 PM

1 votes:

During the final in one of my geology classes, my professor ordered us all pizza since the scheduled time for the test was from 11:00-1:00. There were only about 10 people in the class, but still, that was pretty cool. I got a 3.3.

sikobabel		2003-01-17 12:55:36 PM

1 votes:

Interlocuter - Top Secret.

And since I forgot to add voting before...

askheaves		2003-01-17 12:30:30 PM

1 votes:

Once, I was getting good and lit up before Business Law class. I realized class was coming, but was in the air about if i should go or not. Finally, after finishing my beer, i figured it was time to stumble to class. I get to class, sit down (after a few attempts) and somebody starts handing out Scan-Trons.

"What's this all about?"
"Test. Didn't study?"
"Didn't even know about it"

98/100 and a gold sticker

gma		2003-01-17 12:10:56 PM

1 votes:

We had a history exam, and the professor - who played on our football team in the 1950's - was walking around the class handing out the tests. He looked down and found an already filled out answer sheet. Looked down and saw the name already filled in - the name happened to be our football team's starting quarterback. He calls the guy out into the hall, yells at him for quite a while, then we take our tests like nothing happened. QB goes on to start that weekend, continue his career pretty well, and nearly win the Heisman his senior year. Though as I understand it, he should've been suspended quite a while for academic misconduct.

ScoCK		2003-01-17 11:59:50 AM

1 votes:

In my Organic Chemistry II there was a guy busted for cheating on one of the exams, not even the final. I later learned that this guy had been accepted to medical school prior to the cheating incident. Needless to say, he's probably washing glassware in a lab somewhere now. What an asshat.

bfllama		2003-01-17 11:58:23 AM

1 votes:

While walking to a final in the 9th grade, someone called my name. I turned my head and my neck snapped really loud. I pulled a muscle in my neck, was sent home for the remainder of the week unable to get out of bed from the horrific pain. Still had to make up my finals when I went back.

oldman_withers		2003-01-17 11:54:27 AM

1 votes:

Good story.

Melquiades		2003-01-17 11:51:05 AM

1 votes:

Somebody stole my calculator during an exam.

Not weird, really. Do I get a sympathy vote?

SlayerDave		2003-01-17 11:44:09 AM

1 votes:

A pregnant girl collapsed in front of me during a psychology exam. Needless to say, that wrecked my train of thought.

Chick3_16		2003-01-17 11:43:21 AM

1 votes:

Actually passing for one.

OK, seriously, my last exam before christmas this year, some idiot turned up the heat in the building to about 35 C which was a bit too hot for anyone's tastes. They claimed it was a "heating problem". Now I know why the school is $23 million short for next year.