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(Some Guy)   Retirement home residents find use for fruitcake: shuffleboard, keeping you off their lawn   (thecoaster.net) divider line 35
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1969 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2008 at 11:37 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2008-12-20 11:41:10 PM
I didn't know Zac Efron played Shuffleboard.

/try the veal
 
2008-12-20 11:41:58 PM
It has no other cromulent use.
 
2008-12-20 11:44:37 PM
Five. Five dollar. Five dollar hampster rapist.
 
2008-12-20 11:45:41 PM
There's a group of monks (can't remember the name of the order, though) that makes an awesome fruitcake.

The bad thing about fruitcake, in general, is that it dries up and hardens quickly, so you can use it as a bludgeoning weapon.
 
2008-12-20 11:47:22 PM
O goodie Finally a reason to use this picture.
i71.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-20 11:52:00 PM
CygnusDarius: There's a group of monks (can't remember the name of the order, though) that makes an awesome fruitcake.

The bad thing about fruitcake, in general, is that it dries up and hardens quickly, so you can use it as a bludgeoning weapon.


I think you mean the awesome thing. It has the ability to both harm and confuse. You usually can't find that kind of versatility outside of a bowling ball hidden inside of a pumpkin.
 
2008-12-20 11:52:18 PM

Who knew that old people would find a use for Andy Dick.


images.eonline.com

 
2008-12-20 11:54:17 PM
Someone found a use for Andy Dick!?
 
2008-12-20 11:54:57 PM
evajyna: I think you mean the awesome thing. It has the ability to both harm and confuse. You usually can't find that kind of versatility outside of a bowling ball hidden inside of a pumpkin.

Or a taser inside a dildo.
 
2008-12-20 11:56:21 PM
Also, killing someone with a fruitcake is silly enough that the cops won't buy it.
 
2008-12-21 12:01:53 AM
i2.photobucket.com
/thread needs more pics. Random, sexy pics.
 
2008-12-21 12:07:50 AM
CygnusDarius: Also, killing someone with a fruitcake is silly enough that the cops won't buy it.

Right....a bundt mebbe but a fruitcake never. Besides who could keep a straight face reporting any crime that involves a fruitcake
 
2008-12-21 12:12:29 AM
Ahhh, they finally realized that it makes a great doorstop?
 
2008-12-21 12:12:50 AM
Excuse me. Is this the right place to buy the toaster that cooks eggs?? Oh it isn't? Very well, good day.
 
2008-12-21 12:33:16 AM
I used a fruitcake as a lamp stand for 5 years for a lamp I considered too short.
 
2008-12-21 12:50:59 AM
See the problem is that you folks this side of the Atlantic have missed out on a proper English Christmas fruitcake - fruit soaked in booze, then baked, stays moist. Iced with marzipan and Royal icing - you really can't beat it and my late Mum made it best.
 
2008-12-21 12:59:51 AM
CygnusDarius: There's a group of monks (can't remember the name of the order, though) that makes an awesome fruitcake.

Verbomb Diet.
 
2008-12-21 01:04:37 AM
Before I clicked the link, I imagined elderly people erecting an enormous barrier around their homes using only fruitcake.
 
2008-12-21 01:07:16 AM
Fruitcake doesn't have to be this thick, dense mass with neon-colored "fruit" that's the butt of jokes.

My girlfriend makes yummy fruitcakes. NO RLY. It's fruitcake that actually tastes good. Every year, she starts "The Fruitcake Project" somewhere around October. She makes dozens of the things and mails them to friends around the world and they are greedily eaten by their recipients. How do I know this? Because I've eaten them, and because I have friends who say "OMG can you get me onto her fruitcake list?"

They know her at the local post office because she wanders in with dozens of fruitcake packages every year.

I've playfully mocked her with taunts like "sending noxious substances through the mail is a crime, you know" for years, but her fruitcakes are made of flour, love, and 100% win.
 
2008-12-21 01:15:16 AM
ragnarqk: Before I clicked the link, I imagined elderly people erecting an enormous barrier around their homes using only fruitcake.

Brilliant! Why couldn't you have thought of this before Katrina?
 
2008-12-21 01:43:09 AM
www.artsick.com
 
2008-12-21 01:56:12 AM
kingMountain I think I just lolled up in my mouth a little
 
2008-12-21 01:59:55 AM
jwm124: kingMountain I think I just lolled up in my mouth a little

Fruitcake'll do that to you. It,too, shall not pass.
 
2008-12-21 02:06:00 AM
Danger Avoid Death: jwm124: kingMountain I think I just lolled up in my mouth a little

Fruitcake'll do that to you. It,too, shall not pass.


Where's the "C'mon Poopiez" cat pic when you need it.
 
2008-12-21 02:10:19 AM
jwm124: Danger Avoid Death: jwm124: kingMountain I think I just lolled up in my mouth a little

Fruitcake'll do that to you. It,too, shall not pass.

Where's the "C'mon Poopiez" cat pic when you need it.


Check the litterbox. It's making little fruitcakes.
 
2008-12-21 02:36:58 AM
Has anyone suggested to the Air Force that we start dropping these things on Afghanistan and Iraq? Might end the war a whole lot faster.

Or does that violate some kind of treaty?
 
2008-12-21 02:44:34 AM
Gyrfalcon: Has anyone suggested to the Air Force that we start dropping these things on Afghanistan and Iraq? Might end the war a whole lot faster.

Or does that violate some kind of treaty?


The Geneva Confection.
 
2008-12-21 03:41:53 AM
CygnusDarius There's a group of monks (can't remember the name of the order, though) that makes an awesome fruitcake.

Trappist, iirc. At Our Lady of Guadalupe. The monks make the most awesomest fruitcake I can find (now, since my aunt passed away and I am not on geekbikerskum's gf's list). Put in your order early, they run out as it takes time to steep those things in brandy/sherry/rumco flavor, etc.
 
2008-12-21 06:27:15 AM
I love fruit cake. My grandmother made the best. Her fruit cake would actually get you high. I would never bother trying to make one, don't have the time, it takes forever.

The very best store bought fruit cake I ever had came from a company in Texas, The Collin Street Bakery, in Corsicana (sp?). Several years ago, I stumbled into their shop on a trip to Texas. Great place. If you think you don't like fruit cake, try one of theirs. I've been ordering from them for several years, and have never been disappointed.
 
2008-12-21 07:12:24 AM
i204.photobucket.com

Sumwun saiz FROOTCAKE???
 
2008-12-21 08:06:54 AM
lh5.ggpht.com


His lawn, get off it.
 
2008-12-21 08:36:37 AM
Imari: CygnusDarius There's a group of monks (can't remember the name of the order, though) that makes an awesome fruitcake.

Trappist, iirc. At Our Lady of Guadalupe.


The fruitcake?

downlode.org
 
2008-12-21 10:55:53 AM
Statistics show that 13 percent of people who receive fruitcakes for the holiday use it as a doorstop, nine percent simply throw them out and nearly 40 percent regift them. Seabrook Village residents were also given another option to dispose of their unwanted fruitcake this year, recycle it.

Ok, so what do statistics say about the OTHER 38% of fruitcakes out there.

/inquiring minds want to know.
 
2008-12-21 11:32:10 AM
I hate to say it, but I actually like fruitcake.
 
2008-12-22 12:35:26 AM
Also loves me some fruitcake. Bonus points if it's the kind soaked in booze.

Link
 
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