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(Some Guy)   Jimmy Kimmel Says " I Tried Sex & Didn't Like it"   (starmagazine.com) divider line 119
    More: Unlikely  
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20832 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2003 at 4:54 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-01-17 08:22:49 AM
Alph, join da club of first-time misery. My first was one who'd had 2 kids, neither with small heads,and did NOT know the meaning of the words "kegel exercises". My first thoughts on entry were "Ok. Guys spend their money, ruin their lives, get into fights, car crashes, and make absolute idiots of themselves for- this?"
Things improved big-time with other ladies since, but some memories still are good for a chuckle decades later...
 
2003-01-17 08:32:18 AM
perhaps he finds more personal satisfaction in kitten-killing?
 
2003-01-17 08:40:05 AM
Anyone know what his wife looks like? I've watched the show but not sure if that was really her on his "homelife" bits.
 
2003-01-17 08:41:13 AM
Cynicalbastard you are a Cynicalbastard.
 
2003-01-17 08:41:54 AM
Despite the fact that Kimmel says it didn't have a "happy ending,"
the two hooked up for a second time a month later in a seedy motel.


No happy ending? No wonder he didn't like it!
 
2003-01-17 08:43:45 AM
Jimmy Kimmel tried sex, but he didn't like it. In fact, his ass still hurts.
 
2003-01-17 08:49:08 AM
Sex is the greatest farking thing since....well anything. The problem is, it's so fun, and that's why there are so damn many people on the planet.

The main problem with sex is getting the girl out of the house so you can get some sleep, and the phone call, afterwords.
 
2003-01-17 08:57:07 AM
Andy Warhol on sex: "Not doing it is more fun than doing it."
 
2003-01-17 08:59:14 AM
yeah right, from the Star and we believe it. The juggys'! Check out juggy Vanessa and say "NO"
http://ftp.giga.com/Collections/Collections/Other_Collections/Vanessa_Kay/inde x.htm
 
2003-01-17 09:02:25 AM
theres an extra space in the word index above remove it and BOOBIES!1
 
2003-01-17 09:07:32 AM
How can I ever watch the man show again knowing there is a fruit up there running it?
 
2003-01-17 09:09:35 AM
Man, that dude sounds depressed. One should not dislike sex, that ain't normal.
 
2003-01-17 09:14:34 AM
Well, sex is not Jimmy's primary problem, it's the needy headcases he consorted with.
 
2003-01-17 09:15:01 AM
I looked up 'annoying' in the dictionary, I found Jimmy's pic.
 
2003-01-17 09:19:42 AM
Hey everyone! At least he didn't inhale!
 
2003-01-17 09:31:32 AM
This guy is not funny. His queer-boy side kick Adam isn't funny either. Dick jokes and farting, while hilarious when I was 12 or 13, are lame. Kmmel is funny in a "ha ha funny neighbor / brother telling a joke at dinner" sort of way. I have alot of friends that are alot funnier that really crack me up.

I heard him on Stern. Lame. Kills me that Stern is such a suck up to anyone with an ounce of celebrity.

And how the hell can this dude go 14 years - 14 FREAKING YEARS!!! NOT DAYS, NOT WEEKS, NOT MONTHS- BUT YEARS!!!!! Jesus, I go a week and I get pretty irritable. Its been since Sunday, maybe thats why I am not amused by this bs. grrrrrrr
 
2003-01-17 09:40:15 AM
did anybody see the ad in this weekend's paper hawking his new show?

Jimmy was rather convincingly airbrushed (or photoshopped) to make him look about 30lbs lighter - i guess abc is trying to attract the 13 females (and nontraditional males) on planet earth who aren't repulsed by his whiny, too-much-fat-surrounding-my-vocal-cords voice and pedestrian humor.

he was back to his tubby and gooey self on letterman tuesday night though.
 
2003-01-17 09:58:10 AM
Dear TeenHealthFX,
It was my first time and.....
 
2003-01-17 10:00:55 AM
macdaddy -

BWHAHAHAHA!
 
2003-01-17 10:07:35 AM
Well for a guy who doesn't like sex he sure is lucky to be not enjoying it with Sara Silverman who he has been banging steadily. I bet he loves tapping her ass. What I wouldn't do to have one shot at Sara Silverman's fuzzy doughnut.
 
2003-01-17 10:12:52 AM
Heh, I've got 20 years without, and I"m damn bitter about it.
 
2003-01-17 10:20:22 AM
Sounds like he's playing the sympathy card to me. Don't fall for it ladies!
 
2003-01-17 10:22:18 AM

I never understood why they bothered to do the show at all (although they did have some funny bits).

But let's face it, wouldn't everyone rather just see 30min. of girls jumping on trampolines instead?

 
2003-01-17 10:22:32 AM
He has a bunch of kids, too.
 
2003-01-17 10:24:04 AM
Brilliant scam. You're rich and famous, and you have a story that you've never enjoyed sex. Every groupie whore in Hollywood will be lining up at his front door.
 
2003-01-17 10:44:53 AM
This explains a lot. The guy always swaggers around like the "I have an undescended testicle" variety of insecurity. ;-)
 
2003-01-17 10:53:10 AM
Alph: in all honesty, my first time with sex was MISERABLE.

Sorry to hear that. What went wrong?

Alph: obviously, ive had much better experiences since then. but i think any male who tells me his first time was good is blowing smoke up my ass

My first time was great and a very happy memory. Just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean everyone else did. Your statement is as silly as me saying, "I think any many who tells me his first time wasn't good is blowing smoke up my ass." Oh, and Alph, I don't want to have anything to do with smoke or your ass.
 
2003-01-17 10:55:34 AM
I didn't enjoy my first sex, either. In fact my butt still hurts!
 
2003-01-17 10:58:37 AM
He must feel guilty about pleasure and want to punish himself.

/armchair psychology
 
2003-01-17 11:10:07 AM
repressed homosexual. /obvious
 
2003-01-17 11:16:37 AM
As someone stated before...He is now banging Sara Silverman. Lets see, sex with overweight wife of 15 years or sticking it to a hottie broad who you have more in common with (another comedian).....I dunno

BTW: somebody find a picture of Ms. Silverman to post, then all will become apparent.
 
2003-01-17 11:29:14 AM
But my fellow Farkettes, the question is....would you hit it?
 
2003-01-17 11:31:57 AM
A very appropriate Sarah Silverman photo can be found at:
http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hc&id=1800359449&cf=pg&photoid=451167&intl=us

(Sorry, don't know how to post the photo into this comment thingie.)
 
2003-01-17 11:51:37 AM
Jimmy's spammin' again. This is a line, to get more girls to go out with him. It's like a challenge.
 
2003-01-17 11:59:04 AM
Hey, you whay would work even better, pretend to be gay!
 
2003-01-17 11:59:23 AM
Incoming mail from Jimmy@manshow:I got a great new show and would love to have you watch it.

c:\DABETED!
c:\ DEELEETED
c:\Baleted
......
 
2003-01-17 11:59:45 AM
Sarah Silverman:
 
2003-01-17 12:00:03 PM
Actually it would be more like

c:\cancelled
 
2003-01-17 12:01:53 PM
Eh, screw the armchair psychology, the guy's a dildo.
 
2003-01-17 12:02:51 PM
Doesn't he always look like he is high?
 
2003-01-17 12:14:49 PM
I bet he's gay.
 
2003-01-17 12:30:46 PM
But let's face it, wouldn't everyone rather just see 30min. of girls jumping on trampolines instead?

Uhhh... yeah, of course. The show is pretty much about adolescence, and adolescence is mostly voyeurism, punctuated by the occasional illicit feelup. One of my few fond memories of H.S. is pep rallies. Being in the band, I got to sit behind the cheerleaders when they bent over to make those pyramids. And the trips back from away games was always fun for us, being coed and all. I guess what I'm trying to say is, why limit yourself to trampolines?
 
2003-01-17 12:35:50 PM
This guy is such a loser. Saw him one night a few months ago on one of those home decorating shows on HGTV (shut up, I like that crap) with his wife & kids. They had a designer come in and redo their kitchen for like $50k. Nice money for a guy with no talent. Anyway, it was so sad because I recognized him, but the host and the show made no reference to the fact he was a pseudo-celeb and had his own TV show. In fact, his wife did most of the talking and he just sat there looking like a fat slob. He seems to excel at that.

I won't be watching his new show. He repulses me. More unsexy than Jay Leno. And at least Letterman can be funny.

Jimmy Kimmel gives me the Kitty Shivers. Ick.
 
2003-01-17 01:01:34 PM
A rehash of the Playboy interview, which was better. Read the Playboy article if you want the whole story, not to mention a more funny one.
 
2003-01-17 01:04:10 PM
Damn, I can't believe all the Jimmy hatred in this thread.

I've always liked him.. he was the mitigating factor on the Man Show. He was the nice one, Adam was the jackass.

Anyway, there's probably no way humanly possible that he could be worse than Leno.

And, I hate to break it to you guys, but *most* comedians are not getting-laid-machines. The whole point of being funny is that it's what you practice on at the bar when last call rolls around and you're going home alone. Women *say* they like funny, but most don't.

(which, by the way, is why Silverman is such a farking fox.. she clearly digs funny guys)
 
2003-01-17 01:14:49 PM
i dont like sex either...if by sex you mean being bitten by disease-ridden monkeys of course
 
2003-01-17 01:21:13 PM
01-17-03 01:04:10 PM MrGumboPants
And, I hate to break it to you guys, but *most* comedians are not getting-laid-machines.



Then why do women perpetuate the lie that they value "sense of humor" in men the most?
 
2003-01-17 01:38:23 PM
Stupid_bloody_tuesday - Don't be an idiot. Have you ever watched a Friar's Club roast? Kimmel's approach was hilarious. The fact that you thought he was serious is why he was hilarious.

Dookster - Don't be an idiot. Stern is friends with Kimmel, that's why he was nice to him. Stern rarely sucks up to celebs. He is reknown for being a tough interviewer. And don't take the info from an article in The Star too seriously.

Ken_Iseeum - He is coming on at 12:05, so he is not really challenging Letterman & Leno. He is battling Conan & Kilborn. He is also doing his show live, which is truly a challenge.
 
2003-01-17 01:38:47 PM
My sense of humor has gotten me laid more than once. But I don't do it professionally.
 
2003-01-17 01:48:56 PM
I have a feeling his show is gonna be great. I mean, he has BOTH The Sports Guy (BIll Simmons) AND Joel Hodgson (creator of MST3K) as writers...
 
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