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(My Fox Orlando)   Latest victim of the collapsing economy. A half million dollar ring worth $250k was stolen. Be on lookout for man in mid 15's about 3 ft 1in tall   (myfoxorlando.com) divider line 61
    More: Florida  
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8468 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2008 at 1:27 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-12-17 10:09:16 AM  
Wow, talk about deflation.
 
2008-12-17 10:19:04 AM  
Do you think Walter Cronkite has a permanent imprint of his palm on his face from reading the news?
 
2008-12-17 10:30:38 AM  
We hates it.
 
2008-12-17 10:53:58 AM  
Subby:

i3.photobucket.com

Biggest laugh I've had yet today. Thank you.
 
2008-12-17 11:42:17 AM  
Just like any jewelry store: it's worth X amount on the shelf and X/2 once it leaves the store because your finger somehow alters the molecular structure of the diamond.
 
2008-12-17 12:50:22 PM  
Damn subby, you're good.
 
2008-12-17 01:30:09 PM  

xanadian


Subby:

[clapping gif]

Biggest laugh I've had yet today. Thank you.


Seconded. Out loud, even. (The laugh, not the seconding.)
 
2008-12-17 01:31:26 PM  
he suddenly snatched it and run out of the store
snatched it and run out of the store
and run out of the store

yeah, thats some damn fine journalistic excelance there fox

/also: snatch
//+1 subby, would lol again
 
2008-12-17 01:32:37 PM  
subby +0.5
 
2008-12-17 01:32:44 PM  
Snatched from a jewellery store in the Mall at 500 Years.
 
2008-12-17 01:34:05 PM  
After talking with a clerk who retrieved the ring from a window display, he suddenly snatched it and run runned out of the store.

Fixed!

/Verb tense policeperson
 
2008-12-17 01:34:28 PM  
"Be on lookout for man in mid 15's about 3 ft 1in tall"

OK, so brand me socially-retarded, but I don't get that headline. Gollum? I'll check back later; I'm off to bang the rocks together, guys...
 
2008-12-17 01:35:09 PM  
You know Sergio?
Well, come join us!
 
2008-12-17 01:36:29 PM  
a monkey with a typewriter could write a more compelling story.
 
2008-12-17 01:36:54 PM  
I remember the days when I could also give to subby the gift of +1
 
2008-12-17 01:41:23 PM  
After half reading TFA, I've half a mind to take a half-hearted shot at a half-assed writing career myself:

He talks with the clerk who retrieves the ring out from under the window display, and he ups and snatches it and runs outta the store - bam!

/Tenses? We don't need no stinkin' tenses!
 
2008-12-17 01:41:42 PM  

Jackman5150


"Be on lookout for man in mid 15's about 3 ft 1in tall"

OK, so brand me socially-retarded, but I don't get that headline.


No, you're not socially retarded!

You appear to be the regular kind.


:-)
 
2008-12-17 01:43:27 PM  
Jackman5150: "Be on lookout for man in mid 15's about 3 ft 1in tall"

OK, so brand me socially-retarded, but I don't get that headline. Gollum? I'll check back later; I'm off to bang the rocks together, guys...


RTFA. Headline states ring is worth half a million. Article states it is worth $250,000
 
2008-12-17 01:44:05 PM  
Englebert Slaptyback:

YES!
 
2008-12-17 01:44:12 PM  
micah1701: subby +0.5

the headline was clever, but this one made me lol.
 
2008-12-17 01:46:36 PM  
Ring worth half a million snatched from jewelry store

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35, Orlando) -- The Orlando Police Department is searching for a man who got away with a diamond ring worth $250,000.

The shop owner offered a $125,000 reward, but later decided to simply purchase a replacement for $62,500. However, after withdrawing $31,250 in cash to make the purchase with, the wholesaler declined cash payment. An attempted $15,625 credit card charge was declined by the processor, so the jeweler paid with a check for $7,812.50 instead.

The newly replaced ring can be purchased for $3,906.25
 
2008-12-17 01:47:30 PM  
Took me a second, but then I got it. Well done, subby
 
2008-12-17 01:47:58 PM  
Meh, I misunderstood it as a Hobbit joke initially, went to go look up Bilbo's age.
 
2008-12-17 01:53:48 PM  
blighted: Jackman5150: "Be on lookout for man in mid 15's about 3 ft 1in tall"

OK, so brand me socially-retarded, but I don't get that headline. Gollum? I'll check back later; I'm off to bang the rocks together, guys...

RTFA. Headline states ring is worth half a million. Article states it is worth $250,000


Taking it one step further, since the ring was valued at twice the actual cost, the overvaluation extended to the details of the perp. Thus instead of looking for a man in his mid-30's who is 6'2", they should be looking for a man in his mid-15's who is 3'1".

Annnnnnndddd, now it's not funny.
 
2008-12-17 01:56:55 PM  
Florida tag correct on this one.
 
2008-12-17 01:57:25 PM  
Oh, you took every significant numerical value in the story times 1/2! How clever!
 
2008-12-17 01:59:02 PM  
penis
 
2008-12-17 02:01:39 PM  
Beardington: Oh, you took every significant numerical value in the story times 1/2! How clever!

no, he divided by 2, what kinda math are you using, I thought we weren't going to be leaving any child behind anymore.
 
2008-12-17 02:02:14 PM  
digidorm: After talking with a clerk who retrieved the ring from a window display, he suddenly snatched it and run runned out of the store.

Fixed!

/Verb tense policeperson


I sure hope this fix is a joke.
 
2008-12-17 02:02:45 PM  
Beardington: Oh, you took every significant numerical value in the story times 1/2! How clever!

This is the quote of a sad sad man in the deep deep basement who doesn't like to chuckle or smile. I mean, good grief Charlie Brown. Is this what happened to you??
 
2008-12-17 02:05:19 PM  
mstrcontlprgm: penis

You mean, in keeping with the theme of the thread, that yours is only half...


My (semi-sincere?) condolences.
 
2008-12-17 02:08:05 PM  
deadsanta: Meh, I misunderstood it as a Hobbit joke initially, went to go look up Bilbo's age.

Me too. It was funny that way also.
 
2008-12-17 02:08:35 PM  
I thought that only happened when buying a car. Thanks subby, you just rescued me from another "expensive jewelry holiday".
 
2008-12-17 02:10:17 PM  
We doesn't getses it!
 
2008-12-17 02:11:46 PM  
Unavailable for comment:
www.council-of-elrond.com
(Roughly 4' tall, over 100 years old)
 
2008-12-17 02:12:59 PM  
Frayed Knot: After half reading TFA, I've half a mind to take a half-hearted shot at a half-assed writing career myself:

He talks with the clerk who retrieves the ring out from under the window display, and he ups and snatches it and runs outta the store - bam!

/Tenses? We don't need no stinkin' tenses!


I like your version better. It flows gooder with more grammaticals and plus it's more easiest to understood.

Well did, Fraying Knot.
 
2008-12-17 02:19:44 PM  
SUSPECT IS SEMI-HATLESS. REPEAT: SEMI-HATLESS.
 
2008-12-17 02:22:46 PM  
I was told there would be no math!
 
2008-12-17 02:24:06 PM  
Tricksey hobbitses.
 
2008-12-17 02:26:41 PM  
merreborn: Ring worth half a million snatched from jewelry store

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35, Orlando) -- The Orlando Police Department is searching for a man who got away with a diamond ring worth $250,000.

The shop owner offered a $125,000 reward, but later decided to simply purchase a replacement for $62,500. However, after withdrawing $31,250 in cash to make the purchase with, the wholesaler declined cash payment. An attempted $15,625 credit card charge was declined by the processor, so the jeweler paid with a check for $7,812.50 instead.

The newly replaced ring can be purchased for $3,906.25



Nice.
 
2008-12-17 02:27:03 PM  
It is Florida. I don't think they understand fractions too good.

/the number on top jumps in the swimming pool and then you do long division
 
2008-12-17 02:35:03 PM  
jerkobson: Beardington: Oh, you took every significant numerical value in the story times 1/2! How clever!

no, he divided by 2, what kinda math are you using, I thought we weren't going to be leaving any child behind anymore.


/trolling or retarded?
 
2008-12-17 02:36:23 PM  
This headline is half full.
 
2008-12-17 02:45:42 PM  
FrylockMastershake: jerkobson: Beardington: Oh, you took every significant numerical value in the story times 1/2! How clever!

no, he divided by 2, what kinda math are you using, I thought we weren't going to be leaving any child behind anymore.

/trolling or retarded
half-witted?

/FTFY
 
2008-12-17 02:46:01 PM  
htimsxela: digidorm: After talking with a clerk who retrieved the ring from a window display, he suddenly snatched it and run runned out of the store.

Fixed!

/Verb tense policeperson

I sure hope this fix isare a joke.


Ya think?

/Pet prove
 
2008-12-17 02:47:29 PM  
RAN DAMN IT RAN
 
2008-12-17 03:04:49 PM  
wanted for questioning

dev.wavemaker.com

/link hotter than a hot pocket.
 
2008-12-17 03:08:58 PM  
Clearly the perp is Fifty Cent.
 
2008-12-17 03:12:30 PM  
s151.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-17 03:14:18 PM  
royone: Clearly the perp is Fifty Cent.

Or his son, Two Bits.
 
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