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(Christianity.com)   Woman complains to Pat Robertson that her husband is taking Viagra and can't keep his hands off of her   (christianity.com ) divider line
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2391 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2001 at 10:51 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2001-08-28 10:56:59 AM  
Good Lord! Will someone please send this goofball back to the 700Club. I love these people who think they can speak for God. Its like a billboard I have been seeing on I-95 here in Connecticut. Its a black backround with white letters reading "Keep using my name in vain and I will make your rush hour longer. -God"

Why does everyone think they can speak for God. This makes me sick. The only one who can speak for God is God.

Please, get off your high-horses and stay out of our lives.
 
2001-08-28 11:08:12 AM  
I'm no Pat Robertson fan, but it seems to me his answer is well thought out and reasonable. I half expected him to launch into some tirade about carnality being Satan's work or something.
 
2001-08-28 11:11:18 AM  
Aldrydd that was the second question about gimmicks.
 
2001-08-28 11:16:05 AM  
yay, pat roberson tells dumbass woman to ENJOY SEX. heh.

cept his views on sex toys are retarded...why in the hell do these people want their opinions controlled so heavily anyway? if you like toys, use farking toys!!!

i hate morons.
 
2001-08-28 11:22:46 AM  
"Some of the homosexuals use stuff they call poppers, a nitrite substance that's supposed to heighten them"

this was from the sex toys question. I just find it really funny and ignorant the way she refers to them as "the homosexuals" like they're some different species or something.

somebody should make a shockwave game where you can torture Pat Robertson. He's such a farkhead.

hmm.. after all the chick tracts and then this story today, I think I need to go home tonight and watch Dogma. I love that movie. :p~~~~~~~~~~
 
2001-08-28 11:23:58 AM  
oh, I guess I mean "he". whatever.
 
2001-08-28 11:30:34 AM  
Who in unholy hell would ever take sexual advice from Pat Robertson? Isn't that like getting medical advice from a coroner?
 
2001-08-28 11:33:34 AM  
Since FARK is now I cult, I'm going home tonight and worship my statue of Drew.
 
2001-08-28 11:33:41 AM  
In fact, if you begin to move toward mechanical devices, then all of a sudden, it's a pornographic video. Then the next thing you know, it's menage a trois. It's always some other gimmick.
Sounds like a good chain of events to me.

I constantly feel like I am not doing enough. I wonder if that's Satan
No, that's the alcohol.
 
2001-08-28 11:38:37 AM  
"In fact, if you begin to move toward mechanical devices, then all of a sudden, it's a pornographic video. Then the next thing you know, it's menage a trois."

I've been wanting to know how to experience a threesome, and now my prayers have been answered. I just hadn't thought about mechanical devices. Thanks Pat.

bongoman-ready to ride the slippery slope
 
2001-08-28 11:46:49 AM  
Viagra...
Gods revenge for cranky, frigid, bible-thumping biatches!@
 
2001-08-28 11:59:22 AM  
Am I the only one who find Christian literature and shiat like that a good source of information for a stand-up comedy routine?

-he who stacks pork
 
2001-08-28 12:08:19 PM  
I got some Christian propoganda in the mail. Something about changing my finances to God's financial plan and a bunch of crap. At first, I thought they were talking about Bill Gates and then I realized it was some fake ass God named Jesus.
 
2001-08-28 12:18:40 PM  
Jeebus,
How can people be so dumb. Take the fifth question If I don't give money to the church I won't get gods blessing. So if I had a family and my house was too small I couldn't move into a bigger house because my money that was earmarked for the church would have to go toward a house payment. Ok and that makes sense in what way. And who in the fark is Pat Robertson to say that god will bless you less if you give less money to the church. Did god call him up one day a say Hey I'm not getting enough cash go get some more.

No wonder I don't trust the church.
 
2001-08-28 12:19:37 PM  
Question: My wife and I are home schooling our five kids, and we've run out of room. We'd like to get a larger house, but that will leave us strapped for cash. Would it be against God's will to use some of our tithe money to pay for a larger home?

Pat Robertson: It's not a question of God's will or not will. I mean, the money's yours, but if you want a blessing, he said, `Prove me with your tithes and offerings if I won't open the windows of heavens and pour you out such a blessing you cannot contain.' Buying another home, a bigger home doesn't qualify under that definition. So you can't expect the abundant blessing of God if you spend all your money on a house payment. So I don't think that that is the appropriate attitude. If you can find ways, I think the big thing you should do is to say, `God, I'm going to give to you and I ask that somehow you'll provide me sufficient funds to acquire this property if it be your will.'[/b} And I think that's the way to go instead of saying, `Well, I'm going to take my money for tithes and use it on a mortgage payment, or down payment on a house.'
 
2001-08-28 12:20:18 PM  
oh yeah, html, not bbCode. oops.
 
2001-08-28 12:20:58 PM  
Row Jimmy. Speak not of these things.
 
2001-08-28 12:24:18 PM  
Can we set ourselves apart and not use the word "Tithe" anymore?
It just seems such a stupid word... So close to teeth...
Wait...
Putting it in that context, it makes total sense!
Giving to God is as painful as pulling teeth!
Yes! We have stumbled upon an answer to one of the many mysteries of the bible!
Praise Jeebus!!
I got two wisdom teeth that were removed for being impacted, would they suffice?
 
2001-08-28 12:27:12 PM  
I think the dude is pretty open minded... for a fundy.
 
2001-08-28 12:27:49 PM  
"he's not been able to fulfill the role of a sexual partner that he would like"

I read "hole" instead of "role"..
 
2001-08-28 12:33:36 PM  
GOD- if that is your real name, I highly doubt that God him/herself would post to fark.com.
 
2001-08-28 12:35:54 PM  

I love his answers to the sex toy and adoption questions. He cannot be for real!!!



And I know about what happened when a young man was taken away from his Christian mother by a court and given to his homosexual father. And the next thing you know, that guy was a flaming homosexual, and if I'm not mistaken, he contracted AIDS.


What a knob!!!!

 
2001-08-28 12:45:34 PM  
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
 
2001-08-28 12:46:43 PM  
He should have told that lady that she had better keep giving it up or old pops is going to be nailing her friends her church knitting club or something.
 
2001-08-28 12:53:03 PM  
I wonder if Pat asked for the lady's address, so he could comfort her. Spiritually, of course...
 
2001-08-28 12:54:42 PM  
Watcher said Who in unholy hell would ever take sexual advice from Pat Robertson? Isn't that like getting medical advice from a coroner?

Why not combine the two?
"Dear Pat: My wife is dead in bed. what can I do?"
Reply: "Nothing. That's they way we..er..God likes it."
 
2001-08-28 12:58:55 PM  
Please!

Do not look at Pat Robertson as the shining example of christianity! The Bible says sex is good, and all his crap is opinion! I hate it when pagan worshippers of the sun claim to be christians.


Jesus is an english slur of the latin phrase Hail Zeus, isn't that crazy!!

Amen!
 
2001-08-28 01:01:45 PM  
To take on somebody else's child is difficult enough, but to do so in a homosexual environment where the contacts that the man is going to be having--his various male lovers coming in, and this youngster's going to be exposed to all that?

Of course, there's always going to be "various" lovers, because gay men never have monogamous relationships, only perverted sex orgies.

So if there's any way you can do it subtlety say, `Look, Jesus loves you, but I think right now we ought to get you straightened out before you start taking on some other responsibility.'

Yeah, that's real subtle there, Pat.
 
2001-08-28 01:12:05 PM  
Watcher--- LMAO!!!! so true!

This is why you should stay far away from church!!! Sorry, but I'm not cleaning out my toy box for anyone!!!

As far as movies, I've starred in a few... and I'm BI... OMG I must be going to hell!
 
2001-08-28 01:19:43 PM  
who's surpised that Pat Robertson does not advocate putting any monetary concern ahead of donations to the church? I guess Pat needs a bigger house, too.

BTW, Poppers and autoerotic strangulation? Has Pat Robertson been reading Hannibal?
 
2001-08-28 01:30:08 PM  
Deepblue: My favorite part from that tirade was this:

"I think for any single man to think of adopting a child is in itself a dangerous practice because you don't have time...

What the hell does being a single man have to do with having no time for kids?

 
2001-08-28 01:52:53 PM  
Jodibug0975: please don't post that stuff about the movies, etc. while I'm at work.
 
2001-08-28 02:00:47 PM  
Question: "My husband is taking Viagra and can't keep his hands off of me. Your thoughts?"

Pat Robertson: "...I think I'd enjoy it if I were you..."

I KNEW he was a closet case!!!

Pat Robertson: "...And the next thing you know, that guy was a flaming homosexual..."

Homer: "I like my beer cold, my music loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAAAAAMING!"
 
2001-08-28 03:30:36 PM  
of course Rage... if you'll be so kind as to email me your schedule, i'll try to limit my posting time to what would be best for you :)
 
2001-08-28 03:32:25 PM  
Yes, JodiBug, you're going to Hell alright, but not before the Lord visits sundry afflictions on your nether provinces. For does the Bible not say a seven headed lion with nineteen crowns and a pair of aces shall stride the Earth? You are a naughty, naughty thing. Just thinking about it makes me... I'll have to finish typing this later.
 
2001-08-28 03:40:47 PM  
"And so I wouldn't worry about it. I think I'd enjoy it if I were you."

er...
 
2001-08-28 03:46:19 PM  
"I know about what happened when a young man was taken away from his Christian mother by a court and given to his homosexual father. And the next thing you know, that guy was a flaming homosexual, and if I'm not mistaken, he contracted AIDS. I don't think that homosexuals, especially single homosexual men, should be adopting children."
 
2001-08-28 04:21:03 PM  
jodibug: you understand that it gets awfully uncomfortable having to hobble all the way to the restroom. I'm better now, though, thanks. Besides, I wasn't suggesting that you limit your posting time. Just the stuff about the movies, toys, etc. Makes person's thoughts start to wander in naughty directions (ie South).
 
2001-08-28 04:22:11 PM  
Oh and ;-)
 
2001-08-28 04:26:47 PM  
I finally figured out the purpose of FARK, it's to go on line, find someone with a differing view (especially Christian), and ridicule them. The lady did not come to you for advice, you don't share her view or standards. I personaly think Viagra was aimed at the wrong half of the population, come on most men who need Viagra have wives who are grateful for the rest. However, it seems, to be cool on FARK all you have to do is look up "religion" on a search engine (cause these folks aren't e-mailing these sites to YOU!), post a site on FARK us a few excepted faux vulgrities, and rant about how much you hate GOD, and BOOM YOU're a hero. Congratulations on regurgitating pablam you've been spoon fed, and trying to pass it off as intellegence. Everytime you disagree with someone the first thing you do is to take some PC correct position, unquestion or untested, then you start attacking the messenger, "obviously the man's an idiot, his view is different from what I saw on TV!" or "he can't spell, so lets ignore content, and focus on typing errors". Some people believe there is a standard higher than "whatever feels good" that truth is built on a bedrock as old as the universe. If you went to death row and asked all the murders if murder should be legal they would say "yes", should the then be able to kill folks, "Cause they think there in the write. Can anyone tell me where the concept of evil comes from? Don't say from a "Majority Opinion" because a majority of folks speed, but no one is for completly repealing speed limits. More later!
 
2001-08-28 04:30:49 PM  
Rob M- you are an idiot!
 
2001-08-28 04:44:41 PM  
I hate God an awful lot!

BOOM I'm a hero!
 
2001-08-28 04:57:00 PM  
Row Jimmy, how am I an idiot? Just call me names, don't explain, that's how it works, Right? Being an idiot, i can't see my own faults, with out making it a personal attack (Not using you "Insult Made Easy" thesarous, show me my error. Later
 
2001-08-28 05:13:11 PM  
Rob M, if that is your real name, the Lord is saving up an extra special deluxe smiting for you. He doesn't like it when someone who presumes to speak for Him and His flock turns out to be a ramby-pamby New Age intellectual liberal. That's worse than these rock and roll drag-racers with their blue jeans and their swiveling pelvises.

You are thrice damned for not entering the Kingdom and yet parking in front of the gate. Let me straighten you out on a few things: The Lord does not allow for "a different view." He does not smile when someone seeks or gives "advice." His "truth" is not for anyone to "test" or "question," and He certainly isn't amused by speculations on the age of the "universe." Most of all, He does not recommend erection-inducing carnality drugs for one "half of the population or the other." You are dressing up left-wing radical psychotherapy talk as "truth," just "a different opinion." Well, buster, there is only One Opinion, One Advisor, and One View, and if you go around telling "half of the population" to shoot up Viagra and get it on, you might as well start picking out a pair of gasoline drawers right now. Because there's only one place that'll get you.
 
2001-08-28 05:14:38 PM  
Should read: He does not recommend erection-inducing carnality drugs for one "half of the population" or the other.
 
2001-08-28 05:24:51 PM  
Let's play "She says/He says, shall we?

Her version of the story:
"A friend of mine who is homosexual is considering adopting a child."

His version of the story:
"A nutty, born-again coworker of mine keeps taping 'inspirational' Jesus freak notes to my computer monitor. I wish she'd mind her own farking business."
 
2001-08-28 05:36:45 PM  
Once again copied from the CBN website and forced thru the crapfiler set on "subject I normally wouldnt touch with a ten foot pole, but viewership is down".

Pat Robertson: Well, as we pointed out once on this program--and it's true--Viagra does not cause sexual desire, AND I SHOULD KNOW BEEN USING FOR YEARS. It merely enables a man to perform sexually, who, up to that time, had some type of dysfunction LIKE A PIOUS WIFE WHO COULDNT SPELL ORGASM MUCH LESS HAVE ONE, a type of impotence so that he could not perform sexually. And your husband undoubtedly enjoys you AND DIGS FRIDIGITY and loves you EVEN THOUGH EVERY TIME YOUR LEGS OPEN A LITTLE LIGHT COMES ON, and he probably has felt badly over the years is because through his inability TO GET FIVE MINUTES ALONE IN THE BATHROOM WITH A BOTTLE OF LUBRIDERM, he's not been able to fulfill the role of a sexual partner that he would like SUCH AS WHACKING THAT BOOTY. So now something has come along that enables him to be the man he always wanted to be BUT HE IS STILL STUCK WITH YOU SO HE MAKES THE BEST OF IT. Viagra does not make a woman more attractive, BEER DOES THAT. It has nothing to do with sexual desire THAT JOB IS TAKEN BY PORNSTARS, really. It just has to do with enabling him to perform sexually IN A HOSTILE ENVIROMENT. And so I wouldn't worry about it JUST THINK OF HIS WEAK HEART AND THE LIFE INSURANCE AND TAKE OUT AN EXTRA POLICY OR TWO. I think I'd enjoy it UP THE ASS if I were you AT LEAST YOU WONT HAVE TO FACE HIM HEAD ON. Assuming you enjoy it OR EVEN KNOW WHAT ENJOYMENT IS. NOW SEND ME SOME MONEY.
 
2001-08-28 05:39:54 PM  
ROB M -Tell me, does it hurt to have that bug ALL the way up your ass?
 
2001-08-28 05:55:20 PM  
One more thing, Rob M: "Faux?" Where did you learn to talk in fancy French words? At the coffeehouse with your beatnik friends playing Jazz music on the bongo drums and smoking lids? I know you didn't learn it from the Bible, which is in English. "The concept of evil?" Listen to yourself. You'd better stop hanging around with Marxist intellectuals before they turn you homosexual.
 
2001-08-28 06:35:03 PM  
Irascible:
I am damn glad I read that after work, laughing inanely gets one looked at rather hard.
 
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