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(Some Guy)   Note to self: when planning a robbery, visiting a website called "Six Easy Steps to Committing Armed Robbery" will probably land you in PMITA prison   (wkyc.com) divider line 44
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5324 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2008 at 9:44 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-12-12 09:15:52 AM  
They would have succeeded if they had spent $5 for access to "Total Six Easy Steps to Committing Armed Robbery."
 
2008-12-12 09:48:42 AM  
Yeah, but cops can pay the $5 too.
 
2008-12-12 09:49:01 AM  
I believe everything i read on the internet. It's my bible.

/fark is the old testament
//4chan is the new
 
2008-12-12 09:50:23 AM  
What? Did they lose their copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook?
 
2008-12-12 09:51:10 AM  
So step 2. to consists of 5 Steps?

1. Commit Robbery
2. ???
3. Jail
 
2008-12-12 09:52:46 AM  
I guess I should get off the "Total Six Easy Steps to Getting a Governmental Bailout" Website... same thing.
 
2008-12-12 09:53:12 AM  
In other news, there's a web site called "Six Easy Steps to Committing Armed Robbery"....
// I imagine a web ring (remember those) of these sites
/// maybe a connection to 'The Joy of Prison Time'
 
zez [TotalFark]
2008-12-12 09:55:28 AM  
Nia Mcbrayer and Jennifer Wattson used the downloaded instructions to rob the Dollar Tree

That was their second mistake, who the fark robs a Dollar store?
 
2008-12-12 09:56:06 AM  
Thank you, internet!
 
2008-12-12 09:57:05 AM  
Even though the would-be robbers left the store empty-handed, they were outfoxed by the manager, who told them the safe could not be opened.

Instead, the next time their surfing the web, they might want to find an escape plan as the suspects remain behind bars.


I'm glad that while the Internet was busy killing paper newspapers, it still took the time to proofread its work.
 
2008-12-12 09:57:36 AM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

FTFA: ... three suspects followed most of the suggested steps. They had a plan, masks, and a gun -- albeit it an unloaded bb gun.

... the would-be robbers left the store empty-handed, they were outfoxed by the manager, who told them the safe could not be opened.


I'll be takin these Huggies and anything you got in that register there.
 
2008-12-12 09:59:55 AM  
kagemaru026: /fark is the old testament
//4chan is the new


Seriously? Old testament is a tale of an arbitrary and nasty God who told a dude to kill his own kid just to see if he would.

New testament is the tale of a loving God.

Which one sounds like 4chan to you?
 
2008-12-12 10:01:56 AM  
The Internet: Available to all, but fools should tread carefully.
 
2008-12-12 10:02:04 AM  
really? you need money and you wanna rob the Dollar Tree? this was failure upon conception.
 
2008-12-12 10:03:00 AM  
The how-to in question:

http://www.listentome.net/stuff56.php

The real lesson here: if you absolutely must commit a felony, don't get your instructions from a humor site.

/Oy
 
2008-12-12 10:10:52 AM  
zez: Nia Mcbrayer and Jennifer Wattson used the downloaded instructions to rob the Dollar Tree

That was their second mistake, who the fark robs a Dollar store?


Dollar tree is a check advance place, not a dollar store.
 
2008-12-12 10:12:19 AM  
Might want to read "6 easy steps to GETTING AWAY WITH armed robbery" next time.

-F
 
2008-12-12 10:13:07 AM  
Jeez when I saw the names and ages I was hoping for some hot white girls, like the infamous girl scout cookie thieves.

/Do not want
 
2008-12-12 10:13:14 AM  
This is what "Private Browsing" and TOR are for.
 
2008-12-12 10:13:28 AM  
tedbundee: zez: Nia Mcbrayer and Jennifer Wattson used the downloaded instructions to rob the Dollar Tree

That was their second mistake, who the fark robs a Dollar store?

Dollar tree is a check advance place, not a dollar store.


Although that picture does look like a dollar store.... Hm... Ohio...

/guess I could be wrong. But in Cal. Dollar Trees are check advance places. >.>
 
zez [TotalFark]
2008-12-12 10:14:47 AM  
tedbundee: zez: Nia Mcbrayer and Jennifer Wattson used the downloaded instructions to rob the Dollar Tree

That was their second mistake, who the fark robs a Dollar store?

Dollar tree is a check advance place, not a dollar store.



Looks like a Dollar store to me (new window)
 
2008-12-12 10:18:41 AM  
They should have visited the website called Six Real Easy, Even You Could Do It Bonehead, Steps to Committing Armed Robbery"
 
2008-12-12 10:21:18 AM  
I usually go to www.robabankwithoutgettingcaught.com
 
2008-12-12 10:22:37 AM  
This article has so many mistakes I wonder if the person writing it doesn't speak English as a first language. It looks like the misuse of "albeit" is a result of a clumsy thesaurus search. You know, how some people think that using a longer, more complicated word will make them sound more educated. I see an increasing number of articles like this and I can't help but wonder if the people writing them were hired because they were perceived as "diversifying" the editorial staff rather than for any skill at journalism.
 
2008-12-12 10:24:45 AM  
I usually go to www.getarealjobworkingfortheman.com and www.youporn.com because we can't forget the tits.
 
2008-12-12 10:25:15 AM  
rossocaere: This article has so many mistakes I wonder if the person writing it doesn't speak English as a first language. It looks like the misuse of "albeit" is a result of a clumsy thesaurus search. You know, how some people think that using a longer, more complicated word will make them sound more educated. I see an increasing number of articles like this and I can't help but wonder if the people writing them were hired because they were perceived as "diversifying" the editorial staff rather than for any skill at journalism.

You overestimate individuals who claim English as a first language. Especially journalists.
 
2008-12-12 10:26:23 AM  
Cleveland? I'm surprised that wasn't in Cincinnati.

Where's that Ohio tag? I'm pretty sure this is the Florida of the north.
 
2008-12-12 10:26:39 AM  
They should have bought a copy of "Armed Robbery for Dummies" instead.
 
2008-12-12 10:38:31 AM  
Really? So there mere act of visiting the website will land you in PMITA prison? Interesting...does the ACLU know about this?
 
2008-12-12 10:51:00 AM  
Broadside: Really? So there mere act of visiting the website will land you in PMITA prison? Interesting...does the ACLU know about this?

Am I the only one who is severely disturbed that the websites that are visited are being used as criminal evidence?
 
2008-12-12 10:59:24 AM  
devirginizer: Am I the only one who is severely disturbed that the websites that are visited are being used as criminal evidence?

You worried about all those young virgins you deflowered?
 
2008-12-12 11:07:38 AM  
Oh snap, this is like 1 mile away from me...
 
2008-12-12 11:10:31 AM  
devirginizer: Am I the only one who is severely disturbed that the websites that are visited are being used as criminal evidence?

There was a story a few months back where evidence at trial included that the guy searched for "how to murder someone" and the depth of a local lake, then a week later his wife was found at the bottom of that lake. So your google searches can come back to haunt you!
 
2008-12-12 11:13:31 AM  
I love the comments on the article. Typically news article comments are shallow and boring. These ones are full of insults and slurs, so it's like an extension of fark. It makes me smile when the whole country recognizes stupidity.
 
2008-12-12 11:36:50 AM  
Maybe next time they'll look up money laundering in a dictionary.
 
2008-12-12 11:38:15 AM  
I'm suddenly reminded of this Link (new window)
 
2008-12-12 11:39:02 AM  
tedbundee
Dollar tree is a check advance place, not a dollar store.

In Philly, where I live now, there are 3 'Dollar Tree" dollar stores within 20 minutes of my house. It's a chain dollar store.

/the more you know
 
2008-12-12 11:42:33 AM  
knucklebreather: There was a story a few months back where evidence at trial included that the guy searched for "how to murder someone" and the depth of a local lake, then a week later his wife was found at the bottom of that lake. So your google searches can come back to haunt you!

Protip: Don't google 'how to murder someone' and 'how deep is lake wannahidabodi' and then kill someone and dump them in the lake. Google 'How to Serve Man' and 'Where can I buy cheap Chianti and fava beans' and then kill them and dump them in the lake.
 
2008-12-12 11:44:42 AM  
Shakespeare's Monkey: FTFA: ... three suspects followed most of the suggested steps. They had a plan, masks, and a gun -- albeit it an unloaded bb gun.

... the would-be robbers left the store empty-handed, they were outfoxed by the manager, who told them the safe could not be opened.

I'll be takin these Huggies and anything you got in that register there.


"It ain't armed robbery if the gun's not loaded, honey!"
 
2008-12-12 12:10:03 PM  
My first greenight!!
/damn dollar store is 5 minutes from my job
//no shiat
 
2008-12-12 01:07:25 PM  
This thread would have been funnier if the comments section linked to the website in question and the 'Some Guy' link went to the comments.

We'd all get arrested!

/this is why I have no power on Fark
 
2008-12-12 01:34:33 PM  
Broadside: Really? So there mere act of visiting the website will land you in PMITA prison? Interesting...does the ACLU know about this?

www.voote.com

The fact that you prevent it from happening doesn't change the fact that it was going to happen. The weblogs predict the future and they are never wrong.
 
2008-12-12 02:17:25 PM  
For all the bad things you can find on the Internet, the "Six Easy Steps to Committing Armed Robbery" could be the worst when taken seriously.

i'm pretty sure it's not the worst
 
2008-12-12 03:30:50 PM  
We're going to be seeing a LOT more of this to come due to the insufferable greed of the wealthiest and our purposley misfiring economy. It's absolutely sad. If those greedy farks would just lighten up a little there would be no need to steal.
 
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