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(N Queensland)   The first cow says, "Artificial insemination? I don't believe it." The second cow says, "It's true. Straight up. No bull."   (nqr.farmonline.com.au) divider line
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508 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Dec 2008 at 3:20 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



14 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2008-12-09 02:51:30 PM  
 
2008-12-09 03:29:36 PM  
+1 Subby
 
2008-12-09 03:48:42 PM  
Coke + rice + tag line = new key board for my laptop.

Damn that rice hurt going through my nose....
 
2008-12-09 03:49:45 PM  
farm4.static.flickr.comView Full Size
...and I lol'd.
 
2008-12-09 03:56:19 PM  
I was moooved to laughter. Utter ridiculousness, subby.
 
2008-12-09 05:34:07 PM  
Has anyone actually seen how this is done? A buddy of mine moved WAAAAAAY up in Northern Vermont to marry some girl he met in an AOL chatroom(Honestly. It's more complicated and not quite as bad as that, but it sounds better that way.), and he ended up with a job impregnating cows.

I went with him one day, just out of curiosity. He walked up to a cow's rear end, put on a shoulder length plastic glove and lubed it up and down, put a hand on the beast's flank and shoved his whole arm right up its ass. Apparently he was lining up the cervix, and after a little finagling, he brought a syringe out and put it in the cow's hoo-ha, delivering the Wisconsin Sperm.

The worst part was that when first got his arm into the cow, the pressure made shiat squirt all over the place. Maybe the worst part was the small cows that bucked when he got elbow deep. Either way, gross stuff
 
2008-12-09 05:42:24 PM  
Drum, other drum, high hat.
 
2008-12-09 07:20:50 PM  

Hot Lunch: Has anyone actually seen how this is done? A buddy of mine moved WAAAAAAY up in Northern Vermont to marry some girl he met in an AOL chatroom(Honestly. It's more complicated and not quite as bad as that, but it sounds better that way.), and he ended up with a job impregnating cows.

I went with him one day, just out of curiosity. He walked up to a cow's rear end, put on a shoulder length plastic glove and lubed it up and down, put a hand on the beast's flank and shoved his whole arm right up its ass. Apparently he was lining up the cervix, and after a little finagling, he brought a syringe out and put it in the cow's hoo-ha, delivering the Wisconsin Sperm.

The worst part was that when first got his arm into the cow, the pressure made shiat squirt all over the place. Maybe the worst part was the small cows that bucked when he got elbow deep. Either way, gross stuff


Oh my god, why did I just read that whole thing? Why couldn't I have stopped?? From the chatroom marriage to getting that particular job, that whole story was just... really disturbing. The images will live on.

How do you get that particular job? Are their insemination job boards somewhere?
 
2008-12-09 08:38:04 PM  
Late to the thread...but I was actually surprised that this was seen as something newish in Australia...it's pretty much standard operating procedure on many farms in the US. All of the cows I owned were impregnated through AI. It's an easy way for you to try to breed better, stronger calves without having to invest in one barnyard bull (which can be dangerous and expensive).

/has actually witnessed and helped with this process
//getting a kick, etc.
 
2008-12-09 09:32:55 PM  

Sinister Plans: How do you get that particular job? Are their insemination job boards somewhere?


I think it's called the TF Personals thread.
 
2008-12-10 01:07:16 AM  

Sinister Plans: How do you get that particular job? Are their insemination job boards somewhere?


He wasn't finding work as an EMT and just answered an ad in the paper. It gave him bennies and paid better than anything else he could find. Of course, the farm road chewed up and spat out his Buick, and most of his clothes irredeemably reek of manure but at least he's making a living, right? Right?
 
2008-12-10 02:53:13 PM  

Hot Lunch: He wasn't finding work as an EMT and just answered an ad in the paper. It gave him bennies and paid better than anything else he could find. Of course, the farm road chewed up and spat out his Buick, and most of his clothes irredeemably reek of manure but at least he's making a living, right? Right?


Someones gotta do it, I guess.
 
2008-12-10 02:55:38 PM  

Hot Lunch: I went with him one day, just out of curiosity. He walked up to a cow's rear end, put on a shoulder length plastic glove and lubed it up and down, put a hand on the beast's flank and shoved his whole arm right up its ass. Apparently he was lining up the cervix, and after a little finagling, he brought a syringe out and put it in the cow's hoo-ha, delivering the Wisconsin Sperm.


Wisconsin Sperm would be a great name for a rock band. Or maybe some band's first album.
 
2008-12-12 11:38:02 AM  
@HotLunch: "and shoved his whole arm right up its ass."

Methinks you may need a biology lesson!

Actually, a friend of mine does this for a living (and makes really great money doing it). His job is half sales, half delivery...
 
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