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(UPI)   Sixteen-year-old gets college degree in just two years. Expected to be named junior assistant manager AND man the fry station at McDonalds   (upi.com) divider line 101
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9468 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2008 at 2:32 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



101 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2008-12-07 02:23:40 PM
...as well as Subby's new boss.
 
2008-12-07 02:36:42 PM
"bachelor's degree in finance"

impressive.
 
2008-12-07 02:36:59 PM
Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.
 
2008-12-07 02:37:17 PM
Jeez dude, it's not a race...you need to lighten up.
 
2008-12-07 02:38:43 PM
Doesn't every snowflake receive a passing grade these days ?
 
2008-12-07 02:38:55 PM
Dude's ahead already.

Wish I was that smart. I feel depressed.

Oh, never mind. Found the image of the dude.

skreened.com

I feel better already!
 
2008-12-07 02:39:00 PM
"Brisbin was home schooled, keeping to a rigorous schedule."

Poor kid was never taught how to put on a condom.
 
2008-12-07 02:39:02 PM
from the University of Texas

Oh. Never mind, then. Plenty of 16 year olds have graduated from 8th grade too.
 
2008-12-07 02:40:27 PM
have more of a "prove you have the knowledge" test based system, than a "I want to live off of my parents for 4 more years" system, and we'd see more of this. CPA test is a good start, but what's next? Computer Science? Law? And why next, instead of now?

/Kinda hard to fail the Philosophy one. Soliphism FTW!
 
2008-12-07 02:41:41 PM
One of my professors got 4 bachelors degrees in 4 years. EE, CS, CE and Math. He was also a complete tool with no social skills.
 
2008-12-07 02:43:09 PM
Ignominiousbob: from the University of Texas

Oh. Never mind, then. Plenty of 16 year olds have graduated from 8th grade too.


srsly. a minor school in the heart of Texas:

Prof: "Explain the universe in detail."
Kid: "Jesus"
Prof: "Excellent, here's your degree."
 
2008-12-07 02:44:49 PM
and is still a virgin
 
2008-12-07 02:45:24 PM
I feel like a loser at times. I am 26 and I do not have a degree. I have gone to college and done well, but I lacked direction. I am starting back up again to go into nursing. Yeah, it might just be nursing, but I will have a job and I can live anywhere I want. I also won't have any debt with the way I am doing things. I am glad I did not run up a bunch of debt when I was younger for a degree that won't get me a job. I still have a little bit of a complex about it, but I get over it when I realize that I don't have debt, kids and I actually went out and lived life.
 
2008-12-07 02:46:03 PM
portagedailyregister.com

Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
 
2008-12-07 02:46:09 PM
I just don't know why you would want to go to college when you're sixteen. College is supposed to be fun. You're supposed to be on your own so you can make really stupid mistakes.
 
2008-12-07 02:46:25 PM
The article says his parents went to Austin with him to "provide transportation, because he was too young to have a driver's license."

Freshmen can't bring cars, and they seem to do just fine.
 
2008-12-07 02:46:52 PM
Monkeypillow: Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.


And so you came to Fark.
 
2008-12-07 02:48:11 PM
There's farkin' room to move as a fry cook. I could be manager in two years. King. God.
 
2008-12-07 02:48:40 PM
Good for him. Nice to see someone realizes that there's more to college than booze.
 
2008-12-07 02:48:42 PM
"You have failed me for the last time fry technician."
 
2008-12-07 02:49:14 PM
ooh! another "the world needs ditchdigger" threads or "not everyone is fit for college"

what have i left out?
 
2008-12-07 02:49:45 PM
NutWrench: Monkeypillow: Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.

And so you came to Fark.


Fark actually helped my social skills - tons of intresting anecdotes, jokes, stories and news. 1 day of fark can give me water cooler conversations for the whole week.

Totalfark would totally screw up my time if I'm this addicted as a liter.
 
2008-12-07 02:50:23 PM
montanagirl:
I feel like a loser at times. ... I don't have debt, kids and I actually went out and lived life.

Make up your mind.

In any case, I recommend giving up on the schooling, lose a little weight and improve on your oral sex technique, and find a nice MOTAS to support you.
 
2008-12-07 02:50:45 PM
His name is BRISBIN?

NERD!
 
2008-12-07 02:52:56 PM
AnnoyingKidNextDoor
Nice to see someone realizes that there's more to college than booze.

Disheartening to see someone think this even momentarily.
 
2008-12-07 02:54:03 PM
Poor guy. Missing out on the joys of that first crappy job.
 
2008-12-07 02:54:09 PM
that is neat and all, but I am an internet tough guy, I finish college when I was 15, that is right one year before this loser. Also, as an internet tough guy, I have a large *****, and my penial code is big too. I gradumatated from an Ivney leuge skool.....
 
2008-12-07 02:56:27 PM
He should have stayed in school a few more years. Coming out now and looking for a job in the financial sector is going to be rough especially if you are shooting for the top companies. Unless you have a degree from an Ivy League or similar school, you probably won't even get an interview.
 
2008-12-07 02:57:15 PM
pxlboy: ooh! another "the world needs ditchdigger" threads or "not everyone is fit for college"

what have i left out?


The obviously bitter guy who never went to college, trying to convince everyone (themselves mainly) it's not that important.
 
2008-12-07 02:58:44 PM
pxlboy [TotalFark] Quote 2008-12-07 02:49:14 PM
ooh! another "the world needs ditchdigger" threads or "not everyone is fit for college"

what have i left out?



You forgot " yeah, he may have gotten a degree at 16 but what about those social skills? "

/would take the degree over knowing how to kiss a bunch of high school asses
//doesn't think social development is complete or even close by 16 anyway.
///who wants to hang out with a bunch of mental midgets who think being smart and working your ass off is uncool?
 
2008-12-07 03:00:16 PM
He's about to learn a great lesson in the real world.
 
2008-12-07 03:03:55 PM
He really got a head start on working for the rest of his life.
 
2008-12-07 03:04:29 PM
I do hope we get a self-righteous homeschoolerto show up in this thread.
 
2008-12-07 03:06:24 PM
Ignominiousbob: from the University of Texas

Oh. Never mind, then. Plenty of 16 year olds have graduated from 8th grade too.


Farking Zardwarks: Ignominiousbob: from the University of Texas

srsly. a minor school in the heart of Texas:


Your ignorance is astounding. The University of Texas is one of the best universities in the country. UT's McCombs School of Business (where this kid went) is ranked in the top-10 along with Penn, Cornell, NYU, etc. Their finance program in particular is one of the best in the country and ranked above Stanford, MIT, etc.
 
2008-12-07 03:10:02 PM
AnnoyingKidNextDoor: Good for him. Nice to see someone realizes that there's more to college than booze.

Right...there's also weed.
 
2008-12-07 03:11:28 PM
drivinwest:
Farking Zardwarks: Ignominiousbob: from the University of Texas

srsly. a minor school in the heart of Texas:

Your ignorance is astounding. The University of Texas is one of the best universities in the country. UT's McCombs School of Business (where this kid went) is ranked in the top-10 along with Penn, Cornell, NYU, etc. Their finance program in particular is one of the best in the country and ranked above Stanford, MIT, etc.


I was working off of this:
FTA "...North Central Texas College at 14 and transferred to the university a year later."
 
2008-12-07 03:11:50 PM
Brown Sauce: Poor guy. Missing out on the joys of that first crappy job.

Damn. What a petty coont.
 
2008-12-07 03:12:01 PM
rabidarmadillo24: I just don't know why you would want to go to college when you're sixteen.

College-age poon. And you know that however big a geek this kid is, there were probably a dozen chicks in class who wanted to be the first piece of ass he ever got, just so they could tell people about it.
 
2008-12-07 03:12:57 PM
So is he supposed to lose his virginity at the first office party or something?

/Smart kid, good for him
 
2008-12-07 03:13:35 PM
Big deal. Anyone can rocket through college in two years if all they care about is a degree. Where did he have time for learning to make bongs from Mountain Dew cans ? Or three ways ? Or constructing three story tall beer funnels to hang out their dorm windows to sell sips to passing tailgaters on home football Saturday ?

Poor kid missed out on a lot.
 
2008-12-07 03:15:09 PM
Wrong_Intentions: I do hope we get a self-righteous homeschoolerto show up in this thread.

Well we've already got someone who wants a self-righteous homeschooler to show up in this thread.
 
2008-12-07 03:17:54 PM
And you would want to do that...why?
 
2008-12-07 03:19:09 PM
Well done.

Seriously, I graduated with a B average an rarely applied myself. A driven teen-ager could easily accomplish what I did in 4 about a semester.
 
2008-12-07 03:20:21 PM
I could have done my bachelor's in about the same time if I could have eliminated all the general ed nonsense. I'm convinced the main reason for those courses is to dragoon bodies for departments that would have tumbleweeds blowing thru their classrooms without the conscription imposed by general education requirements.
 
2008-12-07 03:20:40 PM
Just think, 51 more years then he can retire...
 
2008-12-07 03:20:46 PM
Finance degree in two years is not all that impressive. GED at twelve (or whatever equivalency exam they give to home-schoolers now) is slightly moreso, earliest I've known to take it was 14. I thought there was actually a legal hard limit, exempted only for hardship (like a dirver's license) but apparently I was wrong.

Basically, the thing about home-schooling is that you're allowed to skip a lot of stuff. If you know where you're headed (assumably this guy did) you can make sure the stuff you skip is fairly irrelevant to the college degree you're gonna pursue, which is not too hard if you're gonna do something that requires very little general knowledge. I'm glad someone's coming closer to doing it right than the usual; most home-schoolers I know were just uing it as an excuse to not teach basic science or some other religious nonsense.

//Not being snooty by saying the finance degree in two years isn't impressive: there are very few advanced requirements with strings of prerequisites that would force you into being there longer than a couple of years. Parallel course-load stuffing will get you through it right fast. That's probably part of why he picked it.

//I feel for him with the 'waiting on job experience for grad school' excuse. Being the only guy in your department who can't drink legally is annoying, given that group meetings tend to occur in bars. Wish I'd taken a few years off myself.
 
2008-12-07 03:22:11 PM
He must really like school.
 
2008-12-07 03:24:09 PM
Oh gods, I feel bad for the boy.

Because every employer in this job market won't give him a second glance, I'll bet. Because there will be the magic words...

"Yes, but what EXPERIENCE do you have"?

"Um...none, I'm sixteen..."

"Jumping Jaysus kid, you mean you're not even old enough to sign your own employment paperwork, much less drink at the company parties? You understand that the job market just put half a million people out of work, most of which have a degree just like yours and several years of life up on you?"

Kid, get ready for two years of momma riding your ass day in and day out because you are not "meeting her expectations".
 
2008-12-07 03:24:11 PM
he's clearly not smart enough to pick a better time to graduate! good luck getting a job in finance...
 
2008-12-07 03:25:27 PM
vodka: He must really like school.

Or, more likely, really wanted to get it over with. Now he gets to be the only teenager with adult-style disposable income. Probably pretty awesome.

Not lame starter income, either, the finance program is a good one, and well-known.
 
2008-12-07 03:29:22 PM
Not surprised. My Cousin graduated HS at 16, got his M.D at 24 and finished his residency in Internal Medicine this past may at the age of 27. Now, the kid is making big bucks and travels to NYC on the weekends to live up the life. He even told me since he never partied he is making up for it now.

/he is still a great guy
 
2008-12-07 03:33:20 PM
drivinwest:
Your ignorance is astounding. The University of Texas is one of the best universities in the country.

Steers and queers, my boy, steers and queers.
 
2008-12-07 03:33:26 PM
Jondiced Yes, he'd better print this out and keep it handy for when Momma starts in on him.

From my article: "In November the number of people with a higher degree who were out of work rose to 1.413 million from 1.411 million in the previous month, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Comparatively, there were 1.282 million unemployed high school dropouts, up slightly from 1.273 million in October."

So let me see if I've got this straight.
There are, numerically, more unemployed people WITH college degrees than unemployed people who never even finished high school.

Now I want to know how many of each category there are as a whole, so I can figure out my percentages. Although I suppose high school graduates are rarer, and baccalaureate degrees more plentiful, than they used to be: by percentages, that may not be as absurd as it looks at first glance.
 
2008-12-07 03:41:45 PM
Jim_Callahan: vodka: He must really like school.

Or, more likely, really wanted to get it over with. Now he gets to be the only teenager with adult-style disposable income. Probably pretty awesome.

Not lame starter income, either, the finance program is a good one, and well-known.


Like degree=job. Many have jobs before they graduate. This info was missing from the article. HR at a "good" job would probably have to brush up on child labor laws - there's a strike right there.
 
2008-12-07 03:42:01 PM
Monkeypillow: Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.


This. That poor kid man, he is going to be incredibly smart and get nothing out of life.
 
2008-12-07 03:46:49 PM
Jim_Callahan: Not lame starter income, either, the finance program is a good one, and well-known.

A McCombs student could pull a $70k/yr* starting finance job in good times, but the kinds of companies hiring those students aren't hiring now. They also tended to look for people who excelled more generally; e.g., Goldman Sachs used to recruit but they were looking for dual majors, the Business Honors Program, or something else that made you stick out. There's little chance this guy has anything going for him other than graduating quickly and from decent school. I also wonder: junior analysts at big finance jobs used to basically work or do work-related socializing all the time; can this kid legally work the 80 hours a week he'll need to make big bucks in Finance?

Not that the guy won't get a job, but I'll bet it's not going to be particularily easy and we're probably looking at $30-40kish per year. Assuming he's intelligent and hard working enough to succeed in other things, he'd have been much better off staying in school longer working on some extracurriculars and some cross-listed MBA/BBA finance courses (which he can't have met the prereqs for).

/*all salaries guestimated from out-of-date information
 
2008-12-07 03:47:45 PM
Came in here for the Repo Man reference. Bravo.
 
2008-12-07 03:52:16 PM
montanagirl: I feel like a loser at times. I am 26 and I do not have a degree. I have gone to college and done well, but I lacked direction. I am starting back up again to go into nursing. Yeah, it might just be nursing, but I will have a job and I can live anywhere I want. I also won't have any debt with the way I am doing things. I am glad I did not run up a bunch of debt when I was younger for a degree that won't get me a job. I still have a little bit of a complex about it, but I get over it when I realize that I don't have debt, kids and I actually went out and lived life.

There is no shame in what you are doing. In fact, its a smart idea and you are brave to jump back into the ring to do nursing. I'm 25 and most of my friends that never went to college never will because they lack the courage for such a big sacrifice.

I spent 7 years in university before coming out with a Mechanical Engineering degree and student loans up the wazzoo. While I do have an awesome job right out of school, I do regret going into university right away and not knowing what to do (I started out as an English major to give you an idea).

For that reason tho, I agree with the poster who said that it isn't a race. This kid may be only 16 but he lacks the life experience skills that would make him understand his field better.. for that reason, he may not have gotten the same thing out of class that a 30 year old would. Not only that, but he is missing out on being a kid. While I'm sure he loves academia more so than binge drinking, there is no freedom from responsibility than that of a teenager.
 
2008-12-07 03:59:45 PM
Silovik: Monkeypillow: Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.

This. That poor kid man, he is going to be incredibly smart and get nothing out of life.


I'm pretty sure he's not dead and is still a teenager, he's got plenty of time to develop social skills. Honestly, he was home-schooled, that probably screwed him harder in that department than anything else -- spending most of his time on schoolwork but actually being around other people while he did it was likely an improvement.

Besides, if he can't find a job and still doesn't want to do real grad school immediately, the next logical step is an MBA, which is basically a degree in hanging out with your buddies for a couple years. He'll be fine.
 
2008-12-07 04:02:27 PM
Space Cadet Netty: montanagirl: I feel like a loser at times. I am 26 and I do not have a degree. I have gone to college and done well, but I lacked direction. I am starting back up again to go into nursing. Yeah, it might just be nursing, but I will have a job and I can live anywhere I want. I also won't have any debt with the way I am doing things. I am glad I did not run up a bunch of debt when I was younger for a degree that won't get me a job. I still have a little bit of a complex about it, but I get over it when I realize that I don't have debt, kids and I actually went out and lived life.

There is no shame in what you are doing. In fact, its a smart idea and you are brave to jump back into the ring to do nursing. I'm 25 and most of my friends that never went to college never will because they lack the courage for such a big sacrifice.

I spent 7 years in university before coming out with a Mechanical Engineering degree and student loans up the wazzoo. While I do have an awesome job right out of school, I do regret going into university right away and not knowing what to do (I started out as an English major to give you an idea).

For that reason tho, I agree with the poster who said that it isn't a race. This kid may be only 16 but he lacks the life experience skills that would make him understand his field better.. for that reason, he may not have gotten the same thing out of class that a 30 year old would. Not only that, but he is missing out on being a kid. While I'm sure he loves academia more so than binge drinking, there is no freedom from responsibility than that of a teenager.



I can add to the list of tragic education stories as well.

I basically went to college because I was always told it was what you did after high school if you wanted a better life. Well, I had no idea what I actually wanted to do but always knew it would involve math somehow, so I graduated with a BA in Math.

Since, I tried the teaching route, attempted to get low level engineering or engineering assistant jobs, construction, transportation and now I do customer service/admin. At 28, I'm tired of not being where I think I should be and biting the bullet: I'm starting a 2nd bachelors program in EE while working full time.

Which is good for fark as I'm sure I'll have many disgruntled comments to make while over-stressed ::thumbs-up!::
 
2008-12-07 04:03:20 PM
Why do these kids always go to crap schools? He had to go to North Central Texas College then transfer to UT. He;d have been better off waiting a couple of years then going to MIT if her were really smart. Instead, he probably just has pushy parents. It's a shame we don't have a proper magnet/accelerated program in this country for kids who don't want to go through HS at such a slow pace.
 
2008-12-07 04:05:50 PM
s3.amazonaws.com

Squidward: In case you've forgotten, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and then we die. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?


/Actual line from an episode.
 
2008-12-07 04:09:06 PM
 
2008-12-07 04:09:36 PM
Came for Real Genius. Left a sad panda.
 
2008-12-07 04:14:59 PM
CityHall: Why do these kids always go to crap schools? He had to go to North Central Texas College then transfer to UT. He;d have been better off waiting a couple of years then going to MIT if her were really smart.

He's not getting into MIT with a home school education, whether he waits a couple of years or not. Hell, he wouldn't have gotten into UT business without that year of community college. There are magnet schools in large Texas cities (Denton is a Dallas suburb) that he could have gone to, and I agree that would have been better if he would really be able to rise to the top. But assuming he wasn't interested in doing other than home school, community college followed by a good school is his best bet. UT's undergraduate business program is very good. If he'd spent some time there, he could do very well for himself.
 
2008-12-07 04:16:40 PM
Bith Set Me Up: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.


My first thought as well. ;-)
 
2008-12-07 04:32:57 PM
Magics5RIP: Space Cadet Netty: montanagirl: I feel like a loser at times. I am 26 and I do not have a degree. I have gone to college and done well, but I lacked direction. I am starting back up again to go into nursing. Yeah, it might just be nursing, but I will have a job and I can live anywhere I want. I also won't have any debt with the way I am doing things. I am glad I did not run up a bunch of debt when I was younger for a degree that won't get me a job. I still have a little bit of a complex about it, but I get over it when I realize that I don't have debt, kids and I actually went out and lived life.

There is no shame in what you are doing. In fact, its a smart idea and you are brave to jump back into the ring to do nursing. I'm 25 and most of my friends that never went to college never will because they lack the courage for such a big sacrifice.

I spent 7 years in university before coming out with a Mechanical Engineering degree and student loans up the wazzoo. While I do have an awesome job right out of school, I do regret going into university right away and not knowing what to do (I started out as an English major to give you an idea).

For that reason tho, I agree with the poster who said that it isn't a race. This kid may be only 16 but he lacks the life experience skills that would make him understand his field better.. for that reason, he may not have gotten the same thing out of class that a 30 year old would. Not only that, but he is missing out on being a kid. While I'm sure he loves academia more so than binge drinking, there is no freedom from responsibility than that of a teenager.


I can add to the list of tragic education stories as well.

I basically went to college because I was always told it was what you did after high school if you wanted a better life. Well, I had no idea what I actually wanted to do but always knew it would involve math somehow, so I graduated with a BA in Math.

Since, I tried the teaching route, attempted to get low level engineering or engineering assistant jobs, construction, transportation and now I do customer service/admin. At 28, I'm tired of not being where I think I should be and biting the bullet: I'm starting a 2nd bachelors program in EE while working full time.

Which is good for fark as I'm sure I'll have many disgruntled comments to make while over-stressed ::thumbs-up!::



Nothing wrong with switching career paths. And you'll already have a good grasp on EE with the math degree...

FFS, I'm starting my masters in Astrophysics next September (while working full time too) providing they accept my mechie ass. People do it all the time.. even people that have a couple kids and a spouse on top of it.

BTW, I think a lot of people in their late 20's hit a "1/3 life crisis" and want to switch it up a bit because "this isn't what life is supposed to be". I guess the kid in the article will hit that point by 20 provided he doesn't snap and become a drunk first .
 
2008-12-07 04:33:59 PM
jjorsett: I could have done my bachelor's in about the same time if I could have eliminated all the general ed nonsense. I'm convinced the main reason for those courses is to dragoon bodies for departments that would have tumbleweeds blowing thru their classrooms without the conscription imposed by general education requirements.

this.
 
2008-12-07 04:35:12 PM
Considering a good amount of this generation barely makes it through community college, good on this kid.
 
2008-12-07 04:35:39 PM
Lumber Jack Off: "bachelor's degree in finance"

impressive.


What a waste of talent. He had the initiative and the ability to graduate at 16, and will likely become another faceless broker or CPA. He must have completely craptastic parents.

/bet they say "he's really good with numbers"
 
2008-12-07 04:40:56 PM
prgrmr: Lumber Jack Off: "bachelor's degree in finance"

impressive.

What a waste of talent. He had the initiative and the ability to graduate at 16, and will likely become another faceless broker or CPA. He must have completely craptastic parents.

/bet they say "he's really good with numbers"


like those assholes we just "bailed out" were "good with numbers"
 
2008-12-07 04:48:20 PM
Magics5RIP:
Which is good for fark as I'm sure I'll have many disgruntled comments to make while over-stressed ::thumbs-up!::


Actually, with a degree in math you'll probably enjoy EE quite a bit, since all that's left after the math is fiddling around with shiny toys (i.e. the awesome part of engineering). There's some deviation into empiricism from pure math, and a greater stress on statistical theory than logic in general, but overall I don't think it'll overload you too much.

prgrmr: What a waste of talent. He had the initiative and the ability to graduate at 16, and will likely become another faceless broker or CPA. He must have completely craptastic parents.

/bet they say "he's really good with numbers"


This was not about being smart, it was likely more about getting the hell away from his parents. Hell, I genuinely like my mother, but we can barely spend five days of vacation together without starting to hate each other again. Can you imagine how much you'd want to not be with your parents after spending every day's school hours with 'em for twelve years?

Proper motivation does amazing things. I imagine he tried to go to TAMS or another of the public magnet schools (there's one further east for english/business focused kids, TAMS is in denton and focused on the sciences) but got cut off because his parents couldn't stand him living in a dorm and only coming home once a month.

Basically, home schooled + graduating early = too impatient to wait until you can join the army to gtfo.
 
2008-12-07 04:49:00 PM
www.clandarkstar.com
"Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in."
 
2008-12-07 04:49:05 PM
Or just keep homeschooling and get into an Ivy League.
 
2008-12-07 04:49:44 PM
Bith Set Me Up: Hey, I started out mopping the floor just like you guys. But now... now I'm washing lettuce. Soon I'll be on fries; then the grill. And pretty soon, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

Oh snap!
 
2008-12-07 04:52:46 PM
Lumber Jack Off: "bachelor's degree in finance"

impressive.


yup
 
2008-12-07 04:54:11 PM
Monkeypillow: Nifty.

I thought about doing an accelerated curriculum, but chose to develop my social skills instead.


Hmmm..do I want to be the next Nash, or the next Fonz?


/sorry about your fail
 
2008-12-07 04:54:20 PM
Who's to say he didn't party, get laid or have fun at college? Watch out for the smart driven ones.
 
2008-12-07 05:12:18 PM
Ugh, poor kid.

When I was in Grade 6, I was invited to take daily trips across to the highschool to do Grade 9 math. My parents flat-out refused, and I was so angry. I thought they were stunting my growth. I wanted them to skip me ahead so that I could make the most of my education.

Looking back, I realized that they did it so that I wouldn't be ostracized for being a HUGE FREAKING NERD. Late elementary/early highschool was difficult enough socially without me being an even bigger nerd on top of it. I may not be able to claim to be a genius now, but I do have social skills, because those extra years of schooling really whipped me into shape and taught me to get over myself.

This poor kid is going to get eaten alive when he hits the workforce. I hope I'm wrong about that, but that's my gut feeling. Poor guy.
 
2008-12-07 05:17:34 PM
I wonder if the kid had a cool roommate like Val Kilmer??

soundbites.typepad.com

/Real Genius.
//I guess the kid wasn't developing a death ray in finance.
 
2008-12-07 05:23:50 PM
I wouldn't say the kid is a genius, he just had parents that made sure he got through - the article even said they drove him. His parents will make sure he gets some sort of job and is introduced to a social life. At some point he'll be able to go through life in a drunken stupor for a few years, just like the rest of you farkers.
 
2008-12-07 05:23:52 PM
"bachelor's degree in finance"

I don't know whether to be impressed or laugh considering the state of the world at the hands of the financial geniuses nowadays.
 
2008-12-07 05:39:09 PM
 
2008-12-07 06:15:57 PM
PartTimeSaint Quote 2008-12-07 02:39:00 PM
"Brisbin was home schooled, keeping to a rigorous schedule."

Poor kid was never taught how to put on a condom.


Poor kid will never have to.
 
2008-12-07 06:26:14 PM
CrispFlows Quote 2008-12-07 02:49:45 PM
Fark actually helped my social skills - tons of intresting anecdotes, jokes, stories and news. 1 day of fark can give me water cooler conversations for the whole week.


Oh, so much this, it's not even funny.

The new bleeding edge of culture is actually the internet-addicted shut-ins. We're the first to hear every meme. I'm still hearing jokes in the street that were old-hat to me 2 years ago.
 
2008-12-07 06:29:55 PM
rabidarmadillo24 Quote 2008-12-07 02:46:09 PM
I just don't know why you would want to go to college when you're sixteen. College is supposed to be fun. You're supposed to be on your own so you can make really stupid mistakes.


Do you have any concept of how much pussy a 20-year-old with a full head of hair, full bank account and his own apartment is going to get? Social skills are much easier to learn when the practial things in life are already taken care of.
 
2008-12-07 06:36:32 PM
aammaazzoonn: Do you have any concept of how much pussy a 20-year-old with a full head of hair, full bank account and his own apartment is going to get? Social skills are much easier to learn when the practial things in life are already taken care of.

Don't know the kid, didn't RTFT, but I think you're overlooking a couple of things. First, just like with languages, social skills are much harder to learn the older you get. Second, once he's that 20 year old with the bank account and his own apartment, he'll likely be living in a non-college town, competing for fewer viable women with older (i.e. late 20s early 30s) men who have more money, a nicer apartment, and better social skills. Third, come on: the ample opportunity to get pussy that one has in college is rarely duplicated out of college.
 
2008-12-07 06:37:07 PM
Do they look like this kid?

theintvduals.files.wordpress.com
 
2008-12-07 06:37:35 PM
jjorsett Quote 2008-12-07 03:20:21 PM
I could have done my bachelor's in about the same time if I could have eliminated all the general ed nonsense. I'm convinced the main reason for those courses is to dragoon bodies for departments that would have tumbleweeds blowing thru their classrooms without the conscription imposed by general education requirements.


No, its to make sure that, once you rise high enough in society to make important decisions that affect the rest of us, you aren't ignorant about the world outside your job.

www.funfacts.com.au
 
2008-12-07 07:02:02 PM
The Great EZE [TotalFark] Quote 2008-12-07 06:36:32 PM
aammaazzoonn: Do you have any concept of how much pussy a 20-year-old with a full head of hair, full bank account and his own apartment is going to get? Social skills are much easier to learn when the practial things in life are already taken care of.

Don't know the kid, didn't RTFT, but I think you're overlooking a couple of things. First, just like with languages, social skills are much harder to learn the older you get.


Hmmm ... I have to concede, you're right about that.

Second, once he's that 20 year old with the bank account and his own apartment, he'll likely be living in a non-college town, competing for fewer viable women with older (i.e. late 20s early 30s) men who have more money, a nicer apartment, and better social skills. Third, come on: the ample opportunity to get pussy that one has in college is rarely duplicated out of college.

I guess I imagined him spending ages 20-24 living just off campus, with all the benefits of college, with none of the homework.
 
2008-12-07 07:02:06 PM
aammaazzoonn: jjorsett Quote 2008-12-07 03:20:21 PM
I could have done my bachelor's in about the same time if I could have eliminated all the general ed nonsense. I'm convinced the main reason for those courses is to dragoon bodies for departments that would have tumbleweeds blowing thru their classrooms without the conscription imposed by general education requirements.

No, its to make sure that, once you rise high enough in society to make important decisions that affect the rest of us, you aren't ignorant about the world outside your job.


You have a point. The most valuable things I learned from my General Ed classes is that the average university student is a lunkhead, the average college instructor is a cosseted leftie with no idea how the real world works, and that I should labor hard thruout my life to prevent these kind of people from ever attaining any sort of authority over me or mine. Oh, and that I could learn far more about the world outside my job on my own than by relying on a school to teach it to me. In that regard, the university succeeded admirably.
 
2008-12-07 07:20:16 PM
jjorsett:

University is not for everyone.

Some people do quite well with Vo-Tech

.
 
2008-12-07 07:30:43 PM
Finance...no, not impressive.

If it was something science-related like engineering, physics, or chemistry, then I'd be impressed.

You know what's impressive? I know a friend from high school that's going to graduate with a double-major in Math and Physics from Berkley in a 4 year period. That is impressive.
 
2008-12-07 08:01:17 PM
Wow... a bachelor's in finance? And no one clued him in that he'll be competing with thousands of recently laid-off finance specialists from Wall Street and elsewhere? In a crumbling market?

Guess you can't buy a common sense education.
 
2008-12-07 08:35:46 PM
Came here expecting the "homeschooled guy's gf with the electric teeth" pic...

/leaving disappointed
 
2008-12-07 08:42:42 PM
aammaazzoonn: jjorsett Quote 2008-12-07 03:20:21 PM
I could have done my bachelor's in about the same time if I could have eliminated all the general ed nonsense. I'm convinced the main reason for those courses is to dragoon bodies for departments that would have tumbleweeds blowing thru their classrooms without the conscription imposed by general education requirements.

No, its to make sure that, once you rise high enough in society to make important decisions that affect the rest of us, you aren't ignorant about the world outside your job.


Oh how droll. You're a farking moron, stfu and stfd, troll. Image posted is of someone who got higher grades and went to a better school than you'll ever dream of.

But I bet you thought it was clever didn't you? Go fetch the stick boy! Fetch!
 
2008-12-07 09:28:40 PM
Smug little bastard.
 
2008-12-07 09:52:23 PM
I worked with a person who graduated high school and received her bachelors in math on the same weekend. Probably the dumbest person I've ever met. Photographic memory, couldn't apply a bit of it.
 
2008-12-07 10:10:07 PM
mattknows,

Your rational and not-at-all-ironic post has won me over with your stirring display of intellect paired with eloquence to illustrate the validity of your premise was second to none.

/second to *none*
 
2008-12-07 11:01:43 PM
itsfullofstars: I worked with a person who graduated high school and received her bachelors in math on the same weekend. Probably the dumbest person I've ever met. Photographic memory, couldn't apply a bit of it.

...How the fark does that work?
"Here's your high school degree!"
"Here's your BS! Literally!"

I don't even WANT to think about the bullshiat that person had to go through to be able to do that. It's farking hard enough to get into any decent accredited college as it is. Damn red tape.
"You haven't graduated from high school yet."
"Nope."
"Oh, okay, here, lets start you in cal 3!"

/got farked over by UT
//very painfully sore about it.
///slashies...assholes.
 
2008-12-08 03:59:30 PM
With home schooling, there are many colleges that coordinate programs that offer classes that meet high school requirements and provide college credit. I wonder how much of his 2 years came this way.

/not a bad deal
 
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