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(Independent)   Pollution causes smaller penises. Vicious cycle for Hummer drivers   (independent.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary  
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7451 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2008 at 9:02 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2008-12-07 08:34:04 AM  
More environmentalist fear propaganda.
 
2008-12-07 09:05:16 AM  
But...but....global warming prevents shrinkage.

/Doesn't it?
 
2008-12-07 09:05:43 AM  
Want a bigger wang? Drop 10 pounds, fattie.
 
2008-12-07 09:06:28 AM  
+1 Subby

Loved the headline!
 
2008-12-07 09:09:46 AM  
awesome headline lmao.
 
2008-12-07 09:10:50 AM  

FlyingPig: More environmentalist fear propaganda.


Exactly! A small penis is nothing to be worried about.

/isn't that what you meant?
 
2008-12-07 09:10:57 AM  
i405.photobucket.com

+1
 
2008-12-07 09:11:37 AM  
FTA: It also follows hard on the heels of new American research...

Was that intentional?
 
2008-12-07 09:15:10 AM  
Well played.
 
2008-12-07 09:15:36 AM  

12.fl.oz.: FTA: It also follows hard on the heels of new American research...

Was that intentional?


You know that environmentalist fear propaganda. Always using puns. Puns for fear!
 
2008-12-07 09:15:45 AM  
"The research - to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published - shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people."



 
2008-12-07 09:17:50 AM  
At the other end of the world, hermaphrodite polar bears - with penises and vaginas - have been discovered

I really wonder who found that out. And how. What reason could someone have for examining polar bear genitalia to search for abnormalities? Is that how someone makes a living?
 
2008-12-07 09:20:16 AM  
In other news Ron Jeremy, Peter North discuss going green and how it's played a huge role in their lives..
 
2008-12-07 09:20:17 AM  
ZOMG! You have small penis!!!11!!1one!! EVERYBODY PANIC
 
2008-12-07 09:21:49 AM  
This is my argument against ID or god in general. What kind of benevolent god would curse me with a baby carrot while the guy next to me sports a 2 lb log of andouille? Really. You love me huh god? Then how about giving me some farking miracle gro. Bastard.

So, yeah. Global Warming or something. That's something else.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go fail to satisfy my wife and cry in the bathtub.
 
2008-12-07 09:22:15 AM  
In other news, people from unpolluted Africa have bigger penises than white people from other regions. Film at 11.
 
2008-12-07 09:25:53 AM  
Headline stinks like it was written by a misguided feminist.
 
2008-12-07 09:27:43 AM  
THIS JUST IN:
Penis.Penis.Penis.Penis.Penis.
 
2008-12-07 09:32:13 AM  

dwalder: THIS JUST IN:
Penis.Penis.Penis.Penis.Penis.


Nicely played, sir.
 
2008-12-07 09:32:23 AM  
Gothmolly
Want a bigger wang? Drop 10 pounds, fattie.

I'm down 70 lbs... it works I tell you!

/ now I'm just "less small"
// loved the headline
 
2008-12-07 09:33:55 AM  
Cool. So when I'm old and wrinkly I'll still have a bigger wang than all the young'uns. Sounds good to me!
 
2008-12-07 09:36:06 AM  
My PMI is about 3000. I have the penis of a 15 pound man. I gotta start working out.
 
2008-12-07 09:37:30 AM  
This is old as dirt. What I don't get is there are several hundred chemical pollutants classified as estrogenic but not a single androgen mimic or promoter. You would think that just by chance there would be, but perhaps there is a research bias.

On a side note, they put phthalates in baby powder? bloody stupid
 
2008-12-07 09:39:48 AM  

OniNeko: Headline stinks like it was written by a misguided feminist.


And I was going to slashy to say "picks up my copy of Feminists Say the Darndest Things," but remembered I didn't buy it yet. Then my girlfriend gave me my very own copy as an early Christmas present! I'm so excited to read it!
 
2008-12-07 09:47:58 AM  
And a late entrant for headline of the year storms onto the scene...
 
2008-12-07 09:50:10 AM  

FlyingPig: More environmentalist fear propaganda.


Right, because we all know how wonderful chemical pollution is.
 
2008-12-07 09:52:41 AM  
good thing i have plenty to spare.
...fires up the bar-b-que,and ponders the world's problems...
 
2008-12-07 09:52:52 AM  
"Scientists at Cardiff University have found that the brains of male starlings who ate worms contaminated by female hormones at a sewage works in south-west England were subtly changed so that they sang at greater length and with increased virtuosity."

I guess with birds it just turns them the gehy?
 
2008-12-07 09:55:04 AM  
I just can't believe any article with that many spelling/grammatical errors. God forbid they let...oh, I don't know...and EDITOR take a look at the thing.

/Unless the editor was so stupid s/he missed them...truly, they are doomed either way.
 
2008-12-07 09:58:37 AM  
brock.lenzus.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-07 09:59:28 AM  
Oh, now that's a t-shirt.

I can die happy now. Grrrrrrrrrreat headline.
 
2008-12-07 10:08:46 AM  
We've known about endocrine disruptors for years now, and what they do to sex organs and hormones. And guess what? We just keep putting more and more chemicals into our environment. And adding new ones.

So "shocked" is not the word I'm looking for here...."incredibly stupid," maybe?
 
2008-12-07 10:10:50 AM  
Wildlife and people have been exposed to more than 100,000 new chemicals in recent years, and the European Commission has admitted that 99 per cent of them are not adequately regulated. There is not even proper safety information on 85 per cent of them.

Many have been identified as "endocrine disrupters" - or gender-benders - because they interfere with hormones. These include phthalates, used in food wrapping, cosmetics and baby powders among other applications; flame retardants in furniture and electrical goods; PCBs, a now banned group of substances still widespread in food and the environment; and many pesticides.


So are they saying that homosexuality is the byproduct of environmental pollution?
 
2008-12-07 10:13:51 AM  
+1 subby

/golf clap
 
2008-12-07 10:15:04 AM  
Oh, love brockway's hummer picture. Nothing says, "Yeah, it's true, men who drive H2s are trying to compensate" like a defensive picture.
 
2008-12-07 10:20:39 AM  
Well, men who are succesful are generally better people, more confident, more outgoing, get more women, and having a big crank makes all of the above easier to accomplish.

Lets face it, when somone accuses a succesful person of having a small dick, it is because that person gets laughed at by women for their small dick, lack of confidence, inability to get laid, and living in their mom's basement.

Driving a Honda Civic or a Prius? That is like 2 inch Stewie penis. Average Farker length must be around 3.5 inches, not enough to get past the fat rolls of their "women with curves" "wives" they proclaim to have and adore.
 
2008-12-07 10:22:13 AM  
Oh and btw, what does it mean if a woman drives a hummer, is she compensating for a small clitoris?
 
2008-12-07 10:22:49 AM  
michaeld5

FTA:
"Female hormones - largely from the contraceptive pills which pass unaltered through sewage treatment - are partly responsible..."


Ironic, huh?
 
2008-12-07 10:24:29 AM  

wilde_at_heart: michaeld5

FTA:
"Female hormones - largely from the contraceptive pills which pass unaltered through sewage treatment - are partly responsible..."


Ironic, huh?


and most of arizona gets much of its drinking water from the Colorado river after Las Vegas women pee in their toilets and flush it our way. yummy.
 
2008-12-07 10:25:19 AM  
i135.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-07 10:26:00 AM  
Normally 106 boys are born for every 100 girls, but the ratio is slipping. It is calculated that 250,000 babies who would have been boys have been born as girls instead in the US and Japan alone.

ALLLRIGHT!
 
2008-12-07 10:28:29 AM  
For some reason my brain read this headline as a Haiku:


Pollution causes
smaller penis vicious cycle
for Hummer drivers

 
2008-12-07 10:29:09 AM  
TheShavingofOccam123: My PMI is about 3000. I have the penis of a 15 pound man. I gotta start working out.

What's your Private Mortgage Insurance got to do with your penis?
 
2008-12-07 10:31:09 AM  

tuffsnake: Oh and btw, what does it mean if a woman drives a hummer, is she compensating for a small clitoris?


No, it means she is compensating for the fact that her husband is farking his secretary.
 
2008-12-07 10:31:29 AM  
Subby here.
Mods added the Hummer reference, I can't take credit.
 
2008-12-07 10:34:13 AM  
FTA: The research - to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published - shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people.

Well, it explains the rise of the Nanny State.
 
2008-12-07 10:42:01 AM  
wanted for questioning
bigskymagic.comView Full Size

link is globally really warmed

Gordon Bennett: At the other end of the world, hermaphrodite polar bears - with penises and vaginas - have been discovered

I really wonder who found that out. And how. What reason could someone have for examining polar bear genitalia to search for abnormalities? Is that how someone makes a living?

 
2008-12-07 10:43:31 AM  

Thunderpipes: Well, men who are succesful are generally better people, more confident, more outgoing, get more women, and having a big crank makes all of the above easier to accomplish.

Lets face it, when somone accuses a succesful person of having a small dick, it is because that person gets laughed at by women for their small dick, lack of confidence, inability to get laid, and living in their mom's basement.

Driving a Honda Civic or a Prius? That is like 2 inch Stewie penis. Average Farker length must be around 3.5 inches, not enough to get past the fat rolls of their "women with curves" "wives" they proclaim to have and adore.


So, you're saying you have a small penis?
 
2008-12-07 10:44:29 AM  
This explains a lot. I know quite a few dudes who act like women (and are actually hetero).
 
2008-12-07 10:45:00 AM  

Thunderpipes: Lets face it, when somone accuses a succesful person of having a small dick


What does that have to do with this thread? If driving a shiatty H2 is a sign of success, then we live in a pretty pathetic world.
 
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