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(Globe and Mail)   295 kids going to hell because baptisms weren't performed properly   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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12130 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2003 at 3:43 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

252 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-14 06:56:25 PM  
you didn't have to put a stupid tag on the link
2003-01-14 06:56:30 PM  
Davellis Yup but I think it's just a closet in some guys house in Guelph...Or something. I actually think that I may be a memeber too. I never really played myself beyond 6th grade!
2003-01-14 06:58:15 PM  
BriannaHey cool...God don't know...That means...

Say you're kinda cute, what's your sign?
2003-01-14 07:05:40 PM  
If theyre going down then the Priests are comin with them...
2003-01-14 07:06:41 PM  
I was wed by this guy ...See I told ya...Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame!!!
2003-01-14 07:07:55 PM  
Try again!!!
I was wed by this guy ...See I told ya...Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame!!!
2003-01-14 07:08:07 PM  
vinegarjones: yeah, apparently if you're not married in the catholic church it's like a free pass to do whatever you want -- she should start telling grandma, "yeah, me and the hubby are into swinging -- it's SO fun, and i figure god doesn't care since we're not married in his eyes anyway...."

and thanks you have a purple head so obviously i'm terribly attracted to you as well.
2003-01-14 07:08:08 PM  
Holy Crap! Canada has a basketball hall of fame?

Basketball was invented by a in the States. He started a proud tradition. No, not the sport.
2003-01-14 07:08:33 PM  
To hell with it...and me....HTML RETARD ALERT!!!
2003-01-14 07:11:10 PM  
"In the old days, people used to think that if a little child wasn't baptized and died before reaching the age of reason, he wouldn't be able to go to heaven. It's no longer part of contemporary Catholic faith,"

In the old days? Oh yea, I forgot. The Catholics have already changed everything around anyways. Please excuse me while I head outside and laugh my ass off.

Where is Bevets? Somebody already summoned him.
2003-01-14 07:12:31 PM  
Here we go...[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-14 07:13:38 PM  
What's this "limbo" shiat? According to Catholic belief, if they aren't baptised, they aren't Catholic, and so they go to HELL. Period. I'd love to see the converstation on judgement day. "Oh, I'm sorry, your baptism is defective, you'll have to go to Hell."
"But, I've been a good Christian all my life!!"
"Yes, you've been an explary Christian and Catholic. It's just a technicality. I'm sure you understand. Now, off to Hell with you."
2003-01-14 07:14:08 PM  
What's really stupid are the people that are saying that this is stupid because God doesn't care about this, God cares about X, Y and Z.

"My totally random and man made beliefs are more valid then your capricious man made beliefs!"
2003-01-14 07:18:25 PM  
According to Catholic belief, if they aren't baptised, they aren't Catholic, and so they go to HELL

That is not the Catholic belief. Where the hell did you hear that BS?
2003-01-14 07:37:01 PM  
At least ther are loop holes for us Catholics, unlike those Muslims.....
2003-01-14 07:39:19 PM  
Who gives a sh*t about a religion that advocates its priests molesting little boys? IMHO, all catholics are going to Hell regardless of baptism.
2003-01-14 07:42:32 PM  
the catholic doctrine on baptism is incredibly stupid. that is all.
2003-01-14 07:43:20 PM  
For the curious, tithing is old and busted in the Old Testament.

If you still tithe, you might as well never eat pork or shellfish again.
2003-01-14 07:53:10 PM  

Bevets would have you believe that everyone but him is going to hell.
2003-01-14 07:54:08 PM  
Oh, Thor and Herc are both weaklings.

Neither one can take even a tiny bit of venom from a giant serpent of mythical origin.

Herc also had a drinking problem, and Thor wasn't even strong enough to pick up a measly cat (which belonged to a giant, and was one of the aforementioned giant serpents in disguise).

All hail Loki. No other god can mastermind a murder of an immortal being using a mistletoe.
2003-01-14 07:55:11 PM  
Is Steve Bray of the notorious Bevets?
2003-01-14 07:56:04 PM  
So basically, you automatically go to Heaven if you haven't had a chance to hear The Word?
Right. "Them looks like Missionairies agin, Pappy!"
"Quick, Son, pass me the 30.30."
"Kin I shoot em this time?"
"Wail, I'll jus' wound 'em. Yuh kin finish 'em off when yuh get their money. Take the hatchet, no sense wastin' bullets."
2003-01-14 07:57:12 PM  
That is not the Catholic belief. Where the hell did you hear that BS?

The probably heard it from Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, of the CONGREGATION FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH (Inquisition) who cleared everything up in August 2000 by publishing DOMINUS IESUS, wherein the faithful will find:
If it is true that the followers of other religions can receive divine grace, it is also certain that objectively speaking they are in a gravely deficient situation in comparison with those who, in the Church, have the fullness of the means of salvation.

Please renounce your heresy. I am available in this thread for on-line confession.
2003-01-14 07:57:56 PM  
Dear God,

Please save us from your followers.
2003-01-14 08:00:41 PM  
Fess332, you Catholics may have more loopholes than Muslims, but they got a whole wack of cuties waiting for them. Multiply that number by three, and there's a whole lot of holes that beat the hell out of your loopholes...
2003-01-14 08:15:58 PM  
Impaler: It's probably been too long since your last confession and you've forgotten. Here's how it goes:

Fr. Peter: (makes sign of cross)

Impaler: Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been way too long since my last confession. These are my sins: I committed heresy by suggesting in a fark thread that the unwashed were not damned. For these and all the sins of my life I am truly sorry.

Fr. Peter: What? That's it? No sodomy? Fornication? Genital piercing? Impure thoughts? Masturbation! Everybody masturbates. Tell me about your last time.

Impaler: Mumble mumble mumble...

Fr. Peter: Slower! Not so fast. (fap fap fap fap fap fap)

Impaler: Mumble mumble mumble...

Fr. Peter: OK, twenty Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and twenty bucks here's my PayPal.

Impaler: O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my sins because of Thy just punishments. But most of all because they offend... Hey! What's with the hole in the wall here. What kind of confessional is this?

Fr. Peter: Nothing! Nothing! I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Now go on, get out of here. And don't slip on your way out.
2003-01-14 09:22:21 PM  
I'm a're a Pagan...wouldn't you want to be a Pagan too - be a Pagan - drink virgin blood.

Dog Bless
2003-01-14 09:23:45 PM  
What? No picture of Nelson!?
2003-01-14 09:24:06 PM  
The real problem here is that a lay person was the celebrant of the Sacrament of Holy Baptism on a regular basis, not just in case of an emergency.

In section two, article five, section 1056 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church reads: The ordinary ministers of Baptism are the bishop and priest and, in the Latin Church, also the deacon.[57] In case of necessity, any person, even someone not baptized, can baptize, if he has the required intention. The intention required is to will to do what the Church does when she baptizes, and to apply the Trinitarian baptismal formula. The Church finds the reason for this possibility in the universal saving will of God and the necessity of Baptism for salvation.

The diocese is responsible for this problem. It should have never allowed a layperson to be the celebrant of the sacrament.

This is the norm for most Protestant denoms as well. The ordained perform baptisms. Fortunately in my faith tradition, if the person enters into baptism and they believe that their baptism is valid, it is. The law in most states goes along with this in marriages too. Even if the minister is not authorized to preside over the ceremony and solemnize the marriage, because the two parties believed that they were rightfully being wed, the state will recognize the marriage.
2003-01-14 09:37:01 PM  
All Hale Bushyasta

In Zoroastrian mythology, the yellow demon of lethargy and sloth. He is the evil genius which causes men to oversleep and to neglect their religious duties.

lol - I love playing "make believe"
2003-01-14 09:45:01 PM  
You hit a home run, Buddy. But you didn't touch first base. You're out.
2003-01-14 10:11:07 PM  
I never understood why the act of Baptism went from full body immersion in the nearest body of water to sprinkling the kids. Last time I checked the Bible, you know, the collection of writings that Christians claim they base their faith on, Baptism was only to happen after a person made a profession of faith and it had to be a full-body immersion. This was not to ensure getting into heaven, but simply an outward sign of a personal commitment of faith.

Yet another beef I have with the Catholic church.
2003-01-14 10:14:48 PM  
Hey I'd watch out if I were them. The neo-platonic deity/metaphysical unity linguistic construct upstairs tends to be pretty uptight about not getting His sacraments just right.
2003-01-14 10:15:48 PM  
Listening to the faithful talk about god is like watching a bunch of geeks playing roll playing games. "Vatican II", is that like second edition rules?
2003-01-14 10:16:32 PM  
I'm sure when it comes to where you will spend eternity, God really cares about a tiny detail like who actually sprinkled the water. Whatever, that is the lamest thing I've ever heard of...
2003-01-14 10:24:13 PM  
...and also you must hop on your left foot three times and slap your arse to the beat of Queen's "We Will Rock You" up through the first chorus
2003-01-14 10:37:42 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I'm goin ta hell, hee hee hee.
2003-01-14 11:01:05 PM  
Well, Pat Benetar said "Hell is for Children"
2003-01-14 11:08:45 PM  
The Straight Dope on Jesus H. Christ.
2003-01-14 11:11:30 PM  
I think all christians should go to hell and maybe that would get it through their head they shouldn't join the world's oldest cult.
2003-01-14 11:49:03 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Quizzical Kitty?
2003-01-15 12:43:28 AM  
Yet more proof we should do away with a few thousand more ritualistic religions.
2003-01-15 01:16:17 AM  
God is like the Piranha brothers

- cruel, but fair.
2003-01-15 01:43:17 AM  
I'd state that humankind has outgrown the need for religion if it weren't false. There are too many asshats out there that need to fear a higher power.
2003-01-15 01:43:22 AM  
Is Steve Bray of the notorious Bevets?

I suspect so, especially since 'bevets' is 'Steve B.' spelled backwards.

Waiiiiit a minute...don't Satanists do things backwards? Hmmm...
2003-01-15 01:58:10 AM  
As a Christian... I just gotta say: If your god is so petty that you think he actually gives a ratshiat about who holds the holy water while it's being poured, then you've got some much more serious issues....
2003-01-15 04:46:54 AM  
ZARDOZ does baptism's with Vodka... but he doesn't sprinkle it on you, He pours it on naked women and you have to lick it off.... All Hail ZARDOZ!
2003-01-15 06:14:09 AM  
A bumper sticker I once noticed..

What's one thing that's wrong with baptism.
They don't hold them under long enough.

Praise Jebus :)
2003-01-15 09:08:42 AM  
Right. As if men can tell (insert deity here) what to do. What utter, to coin a phrase, bullshiat.
2003-01-15 09:25:44 AM  
Mumbo Jumbo.
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