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(TC Palm)   Man accused of assaulting his girlfriend multiple times with a McDonald's cheeseburger. I hope he fries   (tcpalm.com) divider line
    More: Florida  
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8420 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2008 at 4:50 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2008-12-04 04:51:22 AM  
Indeed, a good shirt. Mission Accomplished.

/not subby
 
2008-12-04 04:52:31 AM  
So this was a true 'Mac Attack'?
 
2008-12-04 04:53:03 AM  
A salting is serious business, he's gonna get dinged
 
2008-12-04 04:53:45 AM  
That headline is a little light in the loafers.
 
2008-12-04 04:58:56 AM  
Was it sexual assault? Cause that would be hot.

/off to look for cheeseburger porn
//not really
///really
 
2008-12-04 05:02:02 AM  
First off, this story made me LOL'ded. So, they have a fight in the car, she tosses his coke (McDonalds has the BEST coke btw) and responds by smashing his burger in her face. He gets slapped with a domestic battery charge? The cops should have charged her for littering at least. I'm guessing she's a fatty and was pissed he wasted the burger. Also, does this mean new husbands who shove wedding cake in the wifes face can get hit with domestic battery charges?

Meh whatever, here's a clip of the "Masters of Food Stuffs to the Face" (new window)
 
2008-12-04 05:03:14 AM  
Nice one subby.

i36.tinypic.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-04 05:08:47 AM  
Goddamnit. All this talk of cheeseburgers has made me ridiculously hungry.
 
2008-12-04 05:09:36 AM  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size


Wanted for questioning.
 
2008-12-04 05:10:58 AM  
FOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIGHT!
 
2008-12-04 05:14:17 AM  

Lemon-Lime Malthus: A salting is serious business, he's gonna get dinged


I thought he'd be battered.
 
2008-12-04 05:18:56 AM  
Feederism gone bad?
 
2008-12-04 05:18:58 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: Poppa Boner: Was it sexual assault? Cause that would be hot.

/off to look for cheeseburger porn
//not really
///really
Ask and ye shall receive^ (TOTALLY NSFW)


NICE!! Damn those things are nasty looking when they're not attached to anything.

fap
 
2008-12-04 05:19:43 AM  

caramel corn for president please: Lemon-Lime Malthus: A salting is serious business, he's gonna get dinged

I thought he'd be battered.


Would you two stop being so cheesy?
 
2008-12-04 05:23:05 AM  

kellynoel: caramel corn for president please: Lemon-Lime Malthus: A salting is serious business, he's gonna get dinged

I thought he'd be battered.

Would you two stop being so cheesy?


._.;; I thought we were doing Gouda.
 
2008-12-04 05:23:19 AM  
Was her name Patty?

/Nice buns?
 
2008-12-04 05:23:56 AM  

Poppa Boner: Was it sexual assault? Cause that would be hot.

/off to look for cheeseburger porn
//not really
///really


shes not lovin it.
 
2008-12-04 05:24:45 AM  

caramel corn for president please: ._.;; I thought we were doing Gouda.


You've really put me in a pickle.
 
2008-12-04 05:27:27 AM  
Pre-emptive chubby chaser?
 
2008-12-04 05:28:19 AM  

Megalomatthew: Pre-emptive chubby chaser?


Big girls need love too.

/and mayo
//lots of mayo
 
2008-12-04 05:29:28 AM  
Well there's your problem...

i112.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-04 05:32:47 AM  
Do we have any liter cola?
 
2008-12-04 05:35:36 AM  
HAHAHA!! This one's way better...

i21.photobucket.comView Full Size


Waiting for cheeseburger bukkake!
 
2008-12-04 05:36:07 AM  
I guess that's the last time he'll ever get her to taste his 'special sauce'...
 
2008-12-04 05:38:09 AM  

kellynoel: caramel corn for president please: ._.;; I thought we were doing Gouda.

You've really put me in a pickle.


Lettuce make it up to you.
 
2008-12-04 05:48:11 AM  
i258.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-04 05:51:10 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: Poppa Boner: Was it sexual assault? Cause that would be hot.

/off to look for cheeseburger porn
//not really
///really
Ask and ye shall receive^ (TOTALLY NSFW)


and now I can return the favor Link (ABSOLUTELY NSFW)
 
2008-12-04 05:55:17 AM  
Oblig...

i240.photobucket.comView Full Size


Now I sleep and dream of cheeseburgers... and vaginas.

Mostly vaginas.
 
2008-12-04 06:05:55 AM  

Poppa Boner: Oblig...

Now I sleep and dream of cheeseburgers... and vaginas.

Mostly vaginas.


Ok, the helmet I can deal with. The cheeseburger, yea it's big...but the pile of pickles on top!? That's just weird.
 
2008-12-04 06:06:31 AM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


No you can't has cheezburger thread without a lolcat.
 
2008-12-04 06:10:18 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: Poppa Boner: Was it sexual assault? Cause that would be hot.

/off to look for cheeseburger porn
//not really
///really
Ask and ye shall receive^ (TOTALLY NSFW)


I love rule 34.
 
2008-12-04 06:10:55 AM  
I can't believe I'm going to be the first to say

"I Can Has Cheezburger!"
 
2008-12-04 06:21:02 AM  
came for fat guy in helmet eating burger
left fulfilled
 
2008-12-04 06:22:56 AM  

Poppa Boner: Oblig...
Now I sleep and dream of cheeseburgers... and vaginas.

Mostly vaginas.


Fur burgers?
 
2008-12-04 06:31:30 AM  
Old School!
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


/hot linked for freshness!
 
2008-12-04 06:49:49 AM  
I came to say that I went to jail for assaulting a cheeseburger at Mardi Gras.

/Friend went for "Leaning with the intent to fall".
//They can only keep you for 24 hours
///Only if you are too drunk for Mardi Gras.
 
2008-12-04 07:06:04 AM  
Stay classy, Florida, the report said. Makes me want to bury my face in shame since I was born in South Florida, the affidavit said. Good thing I got out of there when I had the chance, the report said.

/report said
 
2008-12-04 07:13:44 AM  
You disarm him by eating the cheeseburger, kind of like you do with fresh fruit.
 
2008-12-04 07:15:51 AM  
Who knows how many times he assaulted her with a hotdog down her hallway....
i122.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-04 07:19:54 AM  

vkacademy: FOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIGHT!


Bring it on it with bacon. Yummy!
 
2008-12-04 07:32:40 AM  
The report said?

Tell me Mr. news writer, how does a piece of paper say something? DO TELL!?!?! do tell?
 
2008-12-04 07:35:34 AM  
People like that give me the shakes.
 
2008-12-04 07:37:32 AM  
Reportedly is NOT repeatedly subby.
/my spelling
//off?
 
2008-12-04 07:41:30 AM  
[image from smidgy.com too old to be available]
 
2008-12-04 07:45:58 AM  
i35.tinypic.comView Full Size


/Stabble Stabble Stabble
//Thanks Onion!
 
2008-12-04 07:47:00 AM  
grimmemennesker.dkView Full Size


I guess it's better than smashing it in her face after eating it
 
2008-12-04 07:48:38 AM  
Food that is so soft you can gum it down if you forget your teeth?

Good weapon choice.
 
2008-12-04 07:48:57 AM  
I'm thinking Arby's
 
2008-12-04 07:55:06 AM  
What...she didn't like cheeseburgers?...

[image from images.inmagine.com too old to be available]
[image from img530.imageshack.us too old to be available]
justice4andy.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-04 08:08:30 AM  
Came for "Double cheeseburger? I'd hit it" meme.

/Leaves disappointed
 
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