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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama. Missing from list: "When I die, on my deathbed, will I receive total consciousness?"   (suntimes.com ) divider line 114
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4043 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2008 at 2:30 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-12-02 09:20:32 AM  
Also missing from the list: "Is there anything in the Buddhist religion about employing slave labor? You know, like you do?"
 
2008-12-02 09:28:23 AM  
I want to know where he learned to be a big hitter.

Big hitter, the Lama...
 
2008-12-02 09:41:35 AM  
I came expecting this:

Are you _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?

/too old
 
2008-12-02 09:50:32 AM  
Missing from list: "When I die, on my deathbed, will I receive total consciousness?"

That's because it would be a stupid question.
 
2008-12-02 10:01:26 AM  

HulkHands: Missing from list: "When I die, on my deathbed, will I receive total consciousness?"

That's because it would be a stupid question.



There are no stupid questions, there are only people who have not seen Caddyshack.
 
2008-12-02 10:17:03 AM  
Questions I would ask:

Is this how it's told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice?
Doorknob, ankle, cold?
 
2008-12-02 10:41:49 AM  
What is your favorite color?
 
2008-12-02 10:42:25 AM  
I've always wondered -- what does "Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga" mean, anyway?
 
2008-12-02 10:44:14 AM  

Trivia Jockey: There are no stupid questions, there are only people who have not seen Caddyshack.


There are also two other types of people. One that has caddied for The Dalai Lama, and one that hasn't.

One gets total consciousness on their deathbed.
 
2008-12-02 10:45:29 AM  
When you order a hot dog, do you tell the hot dog man to make you one with everything?
 
2008-12-02 10:46:41 AM  

FlyingPig: Also missing from the list: "Is there anything in the Buddhist religion about employing slave labor? You know, like you do?"


"Why did the CIA spend 20 years paying you $15,000 a month?"
 
2008-12-02 10:48:40 AM  
I approve of this headline.
 
2008-12-02 10:52:01 AM  

gunga galunga: I approve of this headline.


LOL
 
2008-12-02 11:04:05 AM  
Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama

What's the Air Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?
 
2008-12-02 11:26:49 AM  
Three pounds of flax? Really?
 
2008-12-02 12:31:32 PM  
 
2008-12-02 02:33:03 PM  
Also oddly missing from the list is: "How big is your crank?"
 
2008-12-02 02:33:39 PM  
If you mated a bull dog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullshiat?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

Why are Softballs hard?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
 
2008-12-02 02:33:58 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama

What's the Air Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?


What do you mean...African or European?
 
2008-12-02 02:34:02 PM  
the dalai lama is such a fraudster
 
2008-12-02 02:34:17 PM  
Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort
 
2008-12-02 02:34:33 PM  
What makes the Dalai Lama so damned special?

I take my advice from religious leaders of any kind like I take my coffee: I don't swallow it.

Ummm.. you know, because I don't drink coffee.
 
2008-12-02 02:35:05 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama

What's the Air Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?


What do you mean?

African or European?
 
2008-12-02 02:35:23 PM  
Your Holiness, How often do you masturbate?
 
2008-12-02 02:35:57 PM  

Krymson Tyde: veedeevadeevoodee: Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama

What's the Air Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

What do you mean...African or European?


*shakes tiny fist!
 
2008-12-02 02:36:35 PM  
Which head is the Push Me and which head is the Pull You?
 
2008-12-02 02:37:19 PM  

Crazy Bacon Legs: take my advice from religious leaders of any kind like I take my coffee:

bitter and makes me poop
 
2008-12-02 02:38:33 PM  
As an indirect answer to subby's question, I give you a link to the Tibetan Book Of the Dead in comic book form.

BardoComix
 
2008-12-02 02:39:21 PM  

vernonFL: Crazy Bacon Legs: take my advice from religious leaders of any kind like I take my coffee: bitter and makes me poop


...cold, bitter, and beige.
 
2008-12-02 02:40:53 PM  
"What do you think of Western Culture?"

/Betcha he thinks it'd be a good idea.
 
2008-12-02 02:41:06 PM  
I like my women like I like my coffee. Two milks and one sugar.

/got nothing to contribute, sorry.
 
2008-12-02 02:41:37 PM  
Link (new window)

He's no pacifist.
 
2008-12-02 02:42:18 PM  

Crazy Bacon Legs: take my advice from religious leaders of any kind like I take my coffee:


Through an enema mixed with chili peppers
 
2008-12-02 02:42:27 PM  
How do I get the chicks?
 
2008-12-02 02:43:11 PM  

johntodd: I like my women like I like my coffee. Two milks and one sugar.

/got nothing to contribute, sorry.


OK, I'll bite. I like my men like I like my coffee, Strong, Robust and preferably without someone else's cream in them.
 
2008-12-02 02:45:12 PM  
Doesn't it just drive you nuts when people greet you by saying, "hello, Dalai"?

/Lama rama bo bama
 
2008-12-02 02:45:48 PM  

TripSixes: Link (new window)

He's no pacifist.



I'm confused. Did someone say he was? I'm not being snarky, him being a Buddhist might suggest pacifism, but I've never heard him being one.
 
2008-12-02 02:45:54 PM  
So this Buddhist monk walks up to a hotdog vendor. The vendor asks what he'd like to have, and the monk says "Make me one with everything." The vendor hands the hotdog to the monk and says "That'll be two dollars." The monk hands a five to the vendor, who places the five in his cash register and closes the drawer. The monk asks "What about my change?", and the vendor replies "Change must come from within."

/I'll be here all week... enjoy the veal.
 
2008-12-02 02:47:15 PM  

author1701: Doesn't it just drive you nuts when people greet you by saying, "hello, Dalai"?

/Lama rama bo bama


www.cs.cmu.edu
/got nuthin'
 
2008-12-02 02:47:15 PM  
Who are you? And don't give me some BS, long winded hippie reply. It's a simple question.
 
2008-12-02 02:47:16 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama

What's the Air Speed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?


The average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour (new window).
 
2008-12-02 02:47:26 PM  

daas_boot: If you mated a bull dog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullshiat?


i129.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-02 02:47:33 PM  

johntodd: I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.


FTFM!
 
2008-12-02 02:48:01 PM  

daas_boot: If you mated a bull dog and a shiatsu, would it be called a bullshiat?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

Why are Softballs hard?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Who do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

/also, the blind do see in their dreams
 
2008-12-02 02:48:23 PM  
Only if you were his looper.

Rama Lama ding dong.
 
2008-12-02 02:48:53 PM  

daas_boot: johntodd: I like my women like I like my coffee. Two milks and one sugar.

/got nothing to contribute, sorry.

OK, I'll bite. I like my men like I like my coffee, Strong, Robust and preferably without someone else's cream in them.


I like my women like I like my coffee, cold and bitter.
 
2008-12-02 02:51:41 PM  

daas_boot: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?


Quiet, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.
 
2008-12-02 02:52:17 PM  
Where's the beef?
 
2008-12-02 02:52:25 PM  
When will you accept Jesus your lord and savior?
 
2008-12-02 02:53:06 PM  
Do these pants make my ass look big?
 
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