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(Charleston Gazette)   Ski Conditions: 6" fresh powder, all trails groomed, all trails temporarily black diamond due to tiger   (wvgazette.com) divider line 70
    More: Amusing  
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10221 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2008 at 1:29 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2008-12-02 09:00:44 AM  
"How fast can you ski?"

"That depends what's chasing me."
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2008-12-02 09:14:23 AM  
"How fast can you ski?"

"Faster than you."
 
2008-12-02 10:06:54 AM  
Personally... I've been clocked at 47 mph... it was a little hairy with the skiis chattering all over the place... but what a rush.
 
2008-12-02 10:45:52 AM  
OlafTheBent: Personally... I've been clocked at 47 mph... it was a little hairy with the skiis chattering all over the place... but what a rush.


Not sure how fast I was on a snowboard but I definitely did the "straight down the mountain" trip once. The rush and the fear was pretty intense.
 
2008-12-02 11:01:05 AM  
OlafTheBent: Personally... I've been clocked at 47 mph... it was a little hairy with the skiis chattering all over the place... but what a rush.


I did that on the top backside blue run at Keystone a while back. We managed to break 50 on that run. And yes, that's scary and you need some serious leg power for control.

I was doing around 45 once and hit a 10' section of ice that caused my left ski to drift off center ever so slightly. I did one roll upon hitting the snow. My brother was behind me and said that all he could see was a cloud of snow and both poles and both skis go flying in separate directions. I managed to stabilize head first on my back somewhat and slid for what had to be over 100 yards.
 
2008-12-02 11:30:10 AM  
Having skied at Snowshoe, I can tell you the only thing that would make it interesting would be a tiger.

/We call this one the widowmaker, no because it is a hard steep run, but because of the bare spots and chairlift running up the middle of it.
 
2008-12-02 11:45:31 AM  
Tom_Slick: We call this one the widowmaker, no because it is a hard steep run, but because of the bare spots and chairlift running up the middle of it.

Not to worry, it's too short to build up enough speed to hurt yourself. The day I learned to ski, I spent most of the day on widowmaker.
 
2008-12-02 11:48:40 AM  
Tom_Slick: /We call this one the widowmaker, no because it is a hard steep run, but because of the bare spots and chairlift running up the middle of it.


Heh! That's like Red River NM. Freakin' main lift is in the middle of several runs. I've seen several people bounce off poles in the middle of the black runs at the top. The funniest thing is watching someone get the rhythm in some deep moguls, see the pole, and while trying to think about navigation, screw up right before the pole and go ass over ears after centering the mogul in front of the pole. It's a good thing they set up padding and hay bales.
 
2008-12-02 12:21:19 PM  
Owner kills tiger in Pocahontas after big cat got loose

Sounds like some sort of bestiality going on there.
 
2008-12-02 01:32:04 PM  
I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.
 
2008-12-02 01:35:05 PM  
EXTREEEEEEME!!!
 
2008-12-02 01:35:07 PM  
www.adventureclassicgaming.com

/Obligatory.
 
2008-12-02 01:35:19 PM  
UberDave:


Heh! That's like Red River NM. Freakin' main lift is in the middle of several runs. I've seen several people bounce off poles in the middle of the black runs at the top. The funniest thing is watching someone get the rhythm in some deep moguls, see the pole, and while trying to think about navigation, screw up right before the pole and go ass over ears after centering the mogul in front of the pole. It's a good thing they set up padding and hay bales.



Never could see a reason to ski RR when Taos and Angel Fire are close by.
 
2008-12-02 01:35:49 PM  
fritopendejo: I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.

This one time, I was trapped in a velociraptor pen and almost got eaten.

OK, the pen was really a bar and the velociraptor was some ugly fat chick, but she was staring at my ass like it was a steak.
 
2008-12-02 01:35:49 PM  
No "Poke-a-hot-ass" jokes? Read the article.

FTA: "In May 2006, an Asian brown bear owned by Cassell escaped into the wild after someone cut the lock to its enclosure. The 400-pound bruin has not been seen since."

Sounds like this guy should not be allowed to keep large animals that can kill people.

As a tiger, how cool would it be to hunt skiers? Crouch in the bushes and watch a couple of them whiz by just to get a sense of how quick they move, then pounce on the next one. What a sense of accomplishment that would be.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2008-12-02 01:36:56 PM  
This makes me sad.

Poor kitty got shot because of a dumbass owner.

All he wanted was maybe a cheeseburger :(
 
2008-12-02 01:37:18 PM  
Or even jokes about the tiger being in Pocahontas?
 
2008-12-02 01:38:34 PM  
MBK: This makes me sad.

Poor kitty got shot because of a dumbass owner.

All he wanted was maybe a cheeseburger :(



Uh, kitty was a farking TIGER.

He'd want a double cheezburger.
 
2008-12-02 01:38:36 PM  
Cassell, who works at Mountain Lodge on Snowshoe Mountain, was trying to find the animal and tranquilize it,

So why did he switch up to the lethal solution?
 
2008-12-02 01:38:59 PM  
fritopendejo: I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.

Sorry about that. I was taking my pterodactyl out for a flight and he thought you were another pterodactyl. He wanted to mate with you.
 
2008-12-02 01:40:01 PM  
fritopendejo: I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.

I once had moose bite, you know.
 
2008-12-02 01:40:07 PM  
richard parker eshewed the raft. taken to the slopes.
 
2008-12-02 01:40:11 PM  
Oh, and if it was in fact fresh powder, I'd probably board on it anyway, but: "the snowmaking crew at Snowshoe Mountain Resort saw the big cat on Monday morning"


Booooooooooo!
 
2008-12-02 01:40:14 PM  
Jesus Christ it's a tiger. Get on the chairlift!
 
2008-12-02 01:40:27 PM  
Since no one else has said it, props to subby for the headline.
 
2008-12-02 01:40:50 PM  
Frankly, I'm glad they finally put him out of his misery.
cache.boston.com
/how'd he make it all the way to west virginia, though?
 
2008-12-02 01:40:54 PM  
Alright that is some real challenge.
 
2008-12-02 01:42:40 PM  
whatisthelab.dk

Forget the tiger and the bear...
 
2008-12-02 01:43:45 PM  
theoriginalslash: No "Poke-a-hot-ass" jokes? Read the article.

FTA: "In May 2006, an Asian brown bear owned by Cassell escaped into the wild after someone cut the lock to its enclosure. The 400-pound bruin has not been seen since."

Sounds like this guy should not be allowed to keep large animals that can kill people.



It sounds like he has problems with ALF/ELF types cutting his locks.

There was a case of that around these parts about 10 years ago, the eco terrorists released like 12 mountain lions and like 3 leopards from an animal sanctuary place that rescues cats from people that shouldn't have had them.

Almost all the released cats either got road killed or shot by someone who was protecting them self and couldn't wait on animal control (I myself got one of the leopards)
 
2008-12-02 01:46:00 PM  
Amusing that an endangered animal was killed, for having animal instincts?
 
2008-12-02 01:46:23 PM  
You all call that skiing?
We have real mountain lions up here in Vermont.
With real slopes
and real snow.
 
2008-12-02 01:46:51 PM  
TheyCallMeC0WB0Y: Forget the tiger and the bear...

+eleventy billion
 
2008-12-02 01:47:38 PM  
Rapmaster2000: fritopendejo: I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.

Sorry about that. I was taking my pterodactyl out for a flight and he thought you were another pterodactyl. He wanted to mate with you.


Makes sense. My screams of unbridled joy from being so extreme probably sounded like a pterodactyl in heat.
 
2008-12-02 01:49:59 PM  
vudukungfu: You all call that skiing?
We have real mountain lions up here in Vermont.
With real slopes
and real snow.


Okemo all next week, first of the season.
 
2008-12-02 01:50:47 PM  
East Coast Skiing is cute...

Fun Ass Ski game (new window)
 
2008-12-02 01:51:01 PM  
OlafTheBent: Personally... I've been clocked at 47 mph... it was a little hairy with the skiis chattering all over the place... but what a rush.

I'd crash and freeze on skis on a bunny hill, but I've gone faster on a road bike. Downhill of course. Sans tiger.

But tigers in W. VA? Is this a WTF/deliverance/facepalm moment? I would probably just say "You know what? Let the damn kitty run around a while, this is more shiat than I need to deal with right now" and go home and go back to bed.
 
2008-12-02 01:52:56 PM  
Didn't I see that on SciFi channel?
 
2008-12-02 01:53:51 PM  
fyi, you will run into about 27 skiers before ever reaching 47mph at any mountain on the east coast.

/skied soudan couloir/ couloir extreme at blackcomb
/very slowly.

the trail in this video. not my video. i am not the guy in this video.

Link (new window)
 
2008-12-02 01:54:16 PM  
I have gone >35 mph on a skateboard and it was not fun.
 
2008-12-02 01:56:58 PM  
Forget the tiger:


www.gagerdesigns.com

You're pretty much farked.
 
2008-12-02 01:59:35 PM  
yeah, i love when a critically endangered animal is killed.
 
2008-12-02 01:59:37 PM  
Last year there was a lion stalking the woods near Monongehela county. Don't know if any hunters managed to bag it though.
 
2008-12-02 02:03:21 PM  
SweetMercifulX: yeah, i love when a critically endangered animal is killed.

It's even better if you can fark the corpse afterward.

/Should I not have done that?
 
2008-12-02 02:04:14 PM  
Tigers are nothing compared to the Cougars stalking the bars after the lifts close.
 
2008-12-02 02:04:29 PM  
SweetMercifulX: yeah, i love when a critically endangered animal is killed.

I wonder if I could buy it's skin? I mean, if no one is using it and all. It would look great on my "play room" floor.
 
2008-12-02 02:04:56 PM  
SlothB77: fyi, you will run into about 27 skiers before ever reaching 47mph at any mountain on the east coast.

not on a weekday.
also, no need to hit 47 mph in the trees.
 
2008-12-02 02:12:10 PM  
One time when I was skiing, I had a sasquatch on my ass. I had to go about 60 MPH to get away from him.

www.cryptomundo.com
 
2008-12-02 02:13:47 PM  
TheyCallMeC0WB0Y: Forget the tiger and the bear...

OH MY SWEET TAP DANCING GOD


WANT AGAIN
 
2008-12-02 02:18:37 PM  
Stories like this piss me off. Why does this jackhole need to own any endangered species, which apparently he has problems with keeping. (And no, the Asian brown bear isn't endangered yet, but their numbers are sharply decreasing). Obviously he should look in to some other hobbies. And another beautiful Tiger is killed. Grrrrrr!!! If this guy does indeed have the proper papers to house these types of animals they need to be taken away and he needs to be fed to a pack of jackals.

And did I mention GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
 
2008-12-02 02:18:44 PM  
daas_boot: fritopendejo: I was hang gliding once and a pteradactyl chased me.

This one time, I was trapped in a velociraptor pen and almost got eaten.

OK, the pen was really a bar and the velociraptor was some ugly fat chick, but she was staring at my ass like it was a steak.


New keyboard. You owe me one.

Oh, and newsletter. Subscription, etc, etc.

/How YOU doin?
 
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