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(The Onion)   American Airlines now charging fees to non-passengers. Satire tag has to beat back Obvious tag with its carry-on luggage   (theonion.com) divider line 48
    More: Satire  
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16730 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2008 at 10:33 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2008-12-01 10:38:28 AM  
Ah The Onion, sometimes pretty funny.
 
2008-12-01 10:39:34 AM  
i215.photobucket.com
 
2008-12-01 10:39:58 AM  
Shakespeare's Monkey: Ah The Onion, sometimes pretty funny.

Just not today apparently...
 
2008-12-01 10:40:00 AM  
It has its moments
 
2008-12-01 10:40:26 AM  
LOL! Awesome piece of funny right there!
 
2008-12-01 10:41:18 AM  
do i get the scary reservations agent from the southwest commercials too?
 
2008-12-01 10:41:56 AM  
It's not news, it's...not news.
 
2008-12-01 10:44:59 AM  
FTFA: "Arpey said that non-passengers of American Airlines should expect to pay a small fee when making Greyhound bus reservations, when choosing to drive to their final destination, or for being a citizen of the United States with a valid Social Security number."

See, ANOTHER reason being an illegal alien is a good thing! Being a citizen sucks...
 
2008-12-01 10:45:32 AM  
looks like we need another bailout!
 
2008-12-01 10:47:58 AM  
Link (new window)

pretty funny onion video
 
2008-12-01 10:48:03 AM  
I say we tax all foreigners living abroad.

/Magnificent Gumby
 
2008-12-01 10:52:30 AM  
Don't give them ideas, I have seen too many of these satire stories come true.
 
2008-12-01 10:55:17 AM  
Pribar: Don't give them ideas, I have seen too many of these satire stories come true.

Seriously.

I cringe every time I see a joke like this. It used to be a joke that they would charge extra to bring a single bag of luggage on board. Now it's reality.

I'm debating flying next time I have a trip. The extra fees are killing my budget.
 
2008-12-01 10:55:33 AM  
This is obviously satire.

Now if it was United, I might have fallen for it.
 
2008-12-01 11:02:01 AM  
Sure it is funny now, just like it was funny when they wrote about a rozor with five blades or the Bush Presidency or a large number of other stuff.
 
2008-12-01 11:08:18 AM  
The last time I had my son fly as an unaccompanied minor, I was charged an extra $100 for it.

"Unaccompanied minor" basically means that he has to sit at the front of the plane, and follow the flight attendants around if there's a plane change.

I'm sure it was worth it.

/My son won't be flying again anytime soon.
 
2008-12-01 11:15:49 AM  
Ah, once again the last line of the article is the best one.
 
2008-12-01 11:16:59 AM  
troppo gonzo

I l'ed ol
 
2008-12-01 11:17:27 AM  
Loki-L
the Bush Presidency


That was scary.
 
2008-12-01 11:20:17 AM  
If they could, they would!
 
2008-12-01 11:22:37 AM  
Been a while since I've seen an Onion article on the mainpage...back in the day, there were always one or two people posting in the thread, in a sheer outrage at the audacity of the government, business, blogger, dictator, etc.

That being said, 5 farking blades!
 
2008-12-01 11:25:29 AM  
Loki-L

Wow. The article regarding the Bush presidency was really quite unnerving.

It's like that old show Early Edition where the guy got tommorrow's news today. I wonder what he'd have done if he got this article regarding Bush....
 
2008-12-01 11:26:03 AM  
And I have an extra $40 fee, damn it! Fargin' iceholes!

/Greg
 
2008-12-01 11:26:31 AM  
Paryb: Been a while since I've seen an Onion article on the mainpage...back in the day, there were always one or two people posting in the thread, in a sheer outrage at the audacity of the government, business, blogger, dictator, etc.

That being said, 5 farking blades!


There was a farking hilarious one last week about the Navy's Blue Angels having open tryouts.
 
2008-12-01 11:32:08 AM  
Delta charges an extra $5 for curbside service if you forget to check the little box saying you want curbside service at the bottom of the page when you buy your ticket online.

So this is not too far off.
 
2008-12-01 11:32:18 AM  
If this was Reddit people would be going on about how insightful it is and how this and The Daily Show are all you need to get 100% unbiased, informative news.

/is so glad he gave up on that site
 
2008-12-01 11:37:18 AM  
Sgt Otter: Paryb: Been a while since I've seen an Onion article on the mainpage...back in the day, there were always one or two people posting in the thread, in a sheer outrage at the audacity of the government, business, blogger, dictator, etc.

That being said, 5 farking blades!

There was a farking hilarious one last week about the Navy's Blue Angels having open tryouts.


Yeah, that one was some megalulz.
 
2008-12-01 11:41:48 AM  
Holy fark! I almost can't believe the date on the Bush article Loki posted. Was it that obvious? Why didn't they warn some people before the election or something?

In other news, I'm partial to this one. (new window)
 
2008-12-01 12:03:43 PM  
Continental charges "excess" baggage fees beginning with first bag! How is it "excess" if it's my only freeking bag?
They skunked me for $15 each way for my "excess" bag, and another $50 for flying standby on my last trip. Needless to say I've decided I have no excess cash to spend on Continental and will be returning to Southwest for any future flights.
Anything else would be demonstrating an excess of stupidity. Excess.
 
2008-12-01 12:09:11 PM  
the Onion + satire!?

Is the FAIL tag broken today!?
 
2008-12-01 12:19:17 PM  
First time in a while The Onion has made me LOL IRL.
 
2008-12-01 12:29:23 PM  
Don't think the Onion is funny, eh? Try doing what they do better. Try it for an hour and then post your results. It's not as easy as it looks.
 
2008-12-01 12:33:44 PM  
I had to check the archives for the URL, but I've always liked this article (new window).
 
2008-12-01 12:33:57 PM  
deadpanwalking: they do

The fact that we're morans doesn't change the fact that The Onion is NOT funny at all.

We can't build nuclear power plants either, but that doesn't make Chernobyl a great work of engineering.
 
2008-12-01 12:40:31 PM  
deadpanwalking: Don't think the Onion is funny, eh? Try doing what they do better. Try it for an hour and then post your results. It's not as easy as it looks.

The fact that we're morans doesn't change the fact that The Onion is NOT funny at all.

We can't build nuclear power plants either, but that doesn't make Chernobyl a great work of engineering.
 
2008-12-01 12:50:29 PM  
Why squirrel no like me?
 
2008-12-01 12:56:27 PM  
evilgreg: I had to check the archives for the URL, but I've always liked this article (new window).

The best article by far is

Link (new window)
 
2008-12-01 12:59:24 PM  
I just wanna know if I earn EQM's for everytime I stay at home? As a seasoned frequent traveler (red-win sauce), EQM's are always the most important and get you the best perks. Perhaps they'll waive the blanket fee on my own bed for those with status such as myself.
 
2008-12-01 01:13:43 PM  
Loki-L: Sure it is funny now, just like it was funny when they wrote about a rozor with five blades or the Bush Presidency or a large number of other stuff.

I actually remember reading both of these at the time of release. While I still only use a Schick Quattro, the Bush bit is so eerily prophetic that it's scary. But then again, how hard is it to predict hardcore jingoism and massive deficits with a candidate like Bush?
 
2008-12-01 01:30:29 PM  
SF_iris: This is obviously satire.

Now if it was United, I might have fallen for it.


images.cafepress.com
 
2008-12-01 02:08:15 PM  
"All together, you owe American Airlines $187!"

"Who's this American Airlines?"

"Is that in the manner of a question? There's a $5 question fee!"

/obscure
//paraphrased
///couldn't find a pic to hot-link
 
2008-12-01 02:43:44 PM  
SkunkWorx: "All together, you owe American Airlines $187!"

"Who's this American Airlines?"

"Is that in the manner of a question? There's a $5 question fee!"

/obscure
//paraphrased
///couldn't find a pic to hot-link




From Popeye?
 
2008-12-01 02:57:13 PM  
Sgt Otter: Paryb: Been a while since I've seen an Onion article on the mainpage...back in the day, there were always one or two people posting in the thread, in a sheer outrage at the audacity of the government, business, blogger, dictator, etc.

That being said, 5 farking blades!

There was a farking hilarious one last week about the Navy's Blue Angels having open tryouts.


No the best was about the kid going home to see all the assholes from high school on Thanksgiving eve...
 
2008-12-01 06:02:16 PM  
Christ Converts to Islam is my personal favorite.
 
2008-12-01 08:04:00 PM  
I suspect the Commonwealth of Massachusetts is planning something similar with the cigarette tax--you know, outlaw smoking but collect the tax from people anyway.
 
2008-12-01 08:23:01 PM  
SkunkWorx: "All together, you owe American Airlines $187!"

"Who's this American Airlines?"

"Is that in the manner of a question? There's a $5 question fee!"

/obscure
//paraphrased
///couldn't find a pic to hot-link


Popeye?
 
2008-12-02 12:15:48 AM  
Damn the Onion for giving them this idea. 10-1 this same article will be run on CNN, FOX, and ABC this time next year as a real news story!
 
2008-12-04 10:27:44 AM  
There are Popeye fans here!

I can go home happy now.
 
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