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(Some Guy)   This year's lame ass article/advertisement on the items in 'The 12 Days of Christmas' says they would cost $86,609, up 10.9% from last year   (articles.lancasteronline.com) divider line
    More: Silly  
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2695 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2008 at 12:25 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2008-12-01 09:53:31 AM  
Let's see. We can use illegal aliens for the maids, ladies, pipers, and drummers. Nigeria has a surplus of lords trying to get money out of the country, so we hire those. Other than the rings, the rest is just livestock.

I could probably submit a cheaper bid.
 
2008-12-01 10:42:27 AM  
Isn't buying Lords a'Leapin' or Ladies Dancing promoting the white slave trade?
 
2008-12-01 10:42:36 AM  
Any chick that wants me to buy her 5 gold rings and 6 geese has too much baggage to keep.
 
2008-12-01 10:43:26 AM  
Lords a leapin' and ladies dancing are in show business so they make sense.

However, the maids a'milkin' is just slave labor, and its illegal!
 
2008-12-01 10:44:54 AM  

Heroic Poser: Any chick that wants me to buy her 5 gold rings and 6 geese has too much baggage to keep.


5 rings for each day from the fifth to the 12th. That's 7 x 5...or 35 farking rings! Paris Hilton doesn't have that many gold rings!
 
Cog
2008-12-01 12:25:28 PM  

I_C_Weener: Lords a leapin' and ladies dancing are in show business so they make sense.



Probably getting union scale wages.
 
2008-12-01 12:32:30 PM  

Cog: I_C_Weener: Lords a leapin' and ladies dancing are in show business so they make sense.

Probably getting union scale wages.


Well, anyone in a union probably is a scalawag.
 
2008-12-01 12:33:36 PM  

Abstruse: Isn't buying Lords a'Leapin' or Ladies Dancing promoting the white slave trade?


Forget the Ladies Dancing, I'll take the Maids a Milking.

You can open a nice little parlor with 8 women with that skill set.
 
2008-12-01 12:34:15 PM  
I can get 8 maids 'a milking over at the Amish strip joint pretty cheap. The good old Butter Churn, always money well spent.
 
2008-12-01 12:34:34 PM  

Ashtrey: Forget the Ladies Dancing, I'll take the Maids a Milking.

You can open a nice little parlor with 8 women with that skill set.


and here I was dreaming about the Geese's skill set....
 
2008-12-01 12:35:26 PM  

Sticky Hands: Ashtrey: Forget the Ladies Dancing, I'll take the Maids a Milking.

You can open a nice little parlor with 8 women with that skill set.

and here I was dreaming about the Geese's skill set....


The old joke about the brothel with the comedy show right?
 
2008-12-01 12:38:42 PM  
Somebody should figure what Doug and Bob's Christmas would cost.
 
Cog
2008-12-01 12:41:23 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: Somebody should figure what Doug and Bob's Christmas would cost.


Used from $4.88 (new window)
 
2008-12-01 12:48:18 PM  

karmaceutical: I can get 8 maids 'a milking over at the Amish strip joint pretty cheap. The good old Butter Churn, always money well spent.


Looks like its been tried already.
explosm.netView Full Size
 
2008-12-01 12:49:06 PM  
The fictitious luxury gift sector always does well during a recession.

Some other recession-proof industries:

Pie in the sky up 110%.

Castles in Spain, up 32%, unless there is actual real-estate involved, in which case the taxes are punishing.

Beggers riding up 153%.

My Aunt has nuts: up 2.

Enough of that.
 
2008-12-01 12:51:39 PM  
How much for two front teeth?

farm1.static.flickr.comView Full Size
 
2008-12-01 12:53:03 PM  
Every year we get this lame ass article. Every year we also get the lame ass how much money is wasted during online Christmas shopping at work. It's hard to tell which one is lamer. We need a lame off. We could set up brackets. Then we'll vote on the winner. We'll do it every year until it becomes lame. Then the lame off will create a vortex of lameness that will eventually engulf the universe in lameness.
 
2008-12-01 12:54:12 PM  
*runs in from the other room*

FIVE GOLD RINGS!
 
2008-12-01 01:00:03 PM  

ace466: karmaceutical: I can get 8 maids 'a milking over at the Amish strip joint pretty cheap. The good old Butter Churn, always money well spent.

Looks like its been tried already.


Interesting, but the crudely drawn man has it backwards. Once you've experienced strong, supple hands a lifetime of milking produces; you'll know my plan cannot fail. I may seek out this Porn Inc. company for some venture capital/livestock.
 
2008-12-01 01:06:52 PM  
 
2008-12-01 01:07:02 PM  
article/advertisement = advertorial
 
2008-12-01 01:35:47 PM  
I_C_Weener: 5 rings for each day from the fifth to the 12th. That's 7 x 5...or 35 farking rings! Paris Hilton doesn't have that many gold rings!

But how many pearl necklaces does she have?
 
2008-12-01 01:39:56 PM  
but i have a coupon....
 
2008-12-01 01:54:34 PM  
Huh. The Christmas Price Index has explanations for the various price fluctuations. Actually kind of interesting.

http://www.pncchristmaspriceindex.com/CPI/charts.html (^)
 
2008-12-01 01:55:17 PM  
+1 for the Eddie Izzard reference.

I think its funnier to make up alliterative lyrics on the spot.
My favorite this year was "10 Ninjas... Napping."
 
2008-12-01 04:10:13 PM  
If only we had a book that would describe (in detail) this phenomenon in journalism...
 
2008-12-01 04:24:44 PM  

karmaceutical: I can get 8 maids 'a milking over at the Amish strip joint pretty cheap. The good old Butter Churn, always money well spent.


Pennsylvania Dutch Rudder?
 
2008-12-01 11:51:48 PM  

simpsonfan: And a hammered aluminum nutcracker.


You think of a funny comment to the above and rush straight to Fark.com Do you type:

"How do you get an Aluminum Nutcracker drunk?" GO TO PAGE 14.

Or

"Dad?" GO TO PAGE 27.
 
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