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(Some Drunk)   Impress your friends with these genuine Rugby drinking songs (most songs not safe for work)   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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9417 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2003 at 1:45 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

84 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-12 10:06:33 PM  
Hey... it costs $10 to even see these songs. You have been duped into posting an ad.
2003-01-12 10:08:01 PM  
Oh. My bad. There are some perfectly free crappy songs right out in the open.
Rat [TotalFark]
2003-01-12 11:04:09 PM  
2003-01-13 12:26:54 AM  
Rugby players have the nastiest songs ever... I live with two plyers, and some of their songs just about make you bard.
2003-01-13 12:49:50 AM  
They'll make me Shakespeare? Good heavens.
2003-01-13 01:47:25 AM  
Oh good, yet another Rugby vs. American Football flamewar. Weee!

*grabs popcorn*
2003-01-13 01:50:18 AM  
Quick1 we all know American Football is better. end of story. now to flee the rugby people knocking at my door cause im an aussie and im a minority cause i like NFL. Maybe i can have political asylum in the states?
2003-01-13 01:53:38 AM  
/me Smells the stereo-typical Aussie comments cooking.
2003-01-13 01:55:25 AM  

Are you drunk?
2003-01-13 01:57:36 AM  
Quick1, make a big bowl of popcorn.

At least in Rugby, the ONLY equipment you wear is a mouthguard and cleats (cleets?)

Football has way too much padding.

(I'm serious).

Played rugby for three years, I did. Loved every minute of it too. It's how me nose was shattered.

/tosses some fuel into the fire.
2003-01-13 01:59:08 AM  
Rugby songs?

I'll stick to yodeling for Jebus!
2003-01-13 02:02:05 AM  
being a rugby player, I find these pages of songs sorely lacking in lyrical content. Only four lyrics for beastialitys best? he-double hockeysticks there are hundreds of lyrics.
2003-01-13 02:08:46 AM  
Farking hell, only 30 of the songs are unlocked. And I was really looking forward to reading them too.
2003-01-13 02:12:43 AM  
I tried to find a better site out there, but not many have more than three or four (and all the same too).
He-double hockeysticks, I could pull about ten out of my brain without trying.
2003-01-13 02:16:44 AM  
AusFL and NFL are better then rugby.
2003-01-13 02:24:20 AM  
football sucks.
I haven't ever seen a gameof rugby, so I can't say whether it sucks too, but my bet is, yes, it in fact, does suck.
2003-01-13 02:28:13 AM  
Prop3 lemme guess, tight prop?
2003-01-13 02:38:33 AM  
Oh joy! Although you may not look at songs 30-200 on the page, you can download them! Although some of these are mildly amusing, I think I'll pass.
2003-01-13 02:42:14 AM  
Rugby:Real mans sport
Football:Overpaid crybaby wusses that couldn't cut it for Rugby
2003-01-13 02:42:57 AM  
S**k *y *oc*, there sure are a lot of *s.
2003-01-13 02:43:05 AM  
and im a minority cause i like NFL. Maybe i can have political asylum in the states?
You should have NO problem! Hell you could probably get a group of concerned fans to spring for the air fare. Add that you're a fan of NASCAR and they'll bring you're extended family as well.
2003-01-13 02:54:25 AM  
I am the pumpkin king!
2003-01-13 02:58:29 AM  
2003-01-13 02:58:44 AM  
I am the lizard king!
2003-01-13 03:03:39 AM  
I found a book of rugby songs in my grandfather's bookcase when I was about 10 years old. I learned some of the most obscene ones off by heart and became incredibly popular in school for about a week. Most of my contemporaries quickly outgrew the joys of gratuitous swearing but I never did.
2003-01-13 03:04:26 AM  
some of these seem familiar as cockney songs my ex used to know when he was in school. It's a shame I couldn't download the one about Hitler only having one ball, in the Royal Albert Hall, and Goebbels, poor bugger has no balls at all. Anyway, there's another one I'd like to find all the words to.

Anyone who knows it, please try to fill me in, ta. What I remember of it goes a little like this.

He's a wanker, he's a wanker,
It does him good, like it bloody well should
He's a wanker, he's a wanker
mumble mumble.....

Thank you Mrs. Jones, You have two lovely daughters
And thanks so much for having me and being very nice,
mumble mumble...
then something about getting dizzy and worrying it's going to fall off, I think.

Anyway, let me know.
2003-01-13 03:05:54 AM  
My personal favorite is 'Galway Bay'. I don't remember who sings it, but it is one of my personal favorites. Of course, it is not a 'dirty' song, but still amusing.
2003-01-13 03:09:41 AM  
I played rugby.

I know all the words to "Eskimo Nell" and have run round a crowded pub with a burning newspaper stuffed up my arse singing "I'm a stupid dicky-di-dildo". Ahhhh.... happy days....
2003-01-13 03:11:02 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-13 03:16:46 AM  

This is song you were after.
2003-01-13 03:21:18 AM  
Ta very much. I just pissed myself laughing while I was reading it. It's a shame I'm in the US and nobody here ever understands the cultural references, so I can't really share it with anyone. Oh well.
2003-01-13 03:25:28 AM  
Back in the day, this was the shortest song sung at our rugby club:

first singer: I'm in love with girl next door
everyone (holding up index finger): Smell my finger.
2003-01-13 03:35:06 AM  
and the unlock code will be posted in 3....2........1.....
2003-01-13 03:43:56 AM  
I never knew before that this song was a rugby drinking song. I heard this for the first time in the frelling 3rd grade.

Now all I need is a pub, some guinness and something to yell at.
2003-01-13 03:54:22 AM  
It's a shame I'm in the US and nobody here ever understands the cultural references, so I can't really share it with anyone. Oh well.

Erm... i didn't see any cultural references in that song, except maybe the Davey Crockett hat, but what non-terrorist american wouldn't get that reference?

/me is confused...
2003-01-13 04:09:47 AM  
I end up having first to explain what a wanker is.
2003-01-13 04:11:52 AM  
My favorite rugby song: The S&M Man (sung to the tune of The Candy Man). Here's a sample:

Who can take a pregnant woman
Strap her to the bed
Fark her long and hard
'till the fetus gives you head?
The S&M Man, the S&M Man
The S&M Man can 'cause he mixes it with pain
and makes the love hurt good

If my lyrics are off, I invite corrections.
2003-01-13 04:13:54 AM  
What is a wanker?
2003-01-13 04:26:25 AM  
Andonbray:- I know you know, but if you don't know, then you are.
2003-01-13 04:36:28 AM  
Very nicely put.
2003-01-13 04:37:10 AM  
"Caller: We play MEN's sports, like Football, and Hopscotch.
Lazlo: Hopscotch? that's a Girls game!
Caller: not RUGBY hopscotch."
2003-01-13 04:39:17 AM  

It's this one:

"Hitler had only one big ball!
Goering had two and they were small!
Himmler had something sim'ler,
and poor old Geobbels had no balls at all!"
2003-01-13 05:28:12 AM  
Andonbray:- Thank you. You can actually sing it to the tune of "My Girl"

IIIII know yooooou know,
buuuut if you don't know, then you are
a wankerrrr (wanker, wanker). talking 'bout a wanker-er-er (wanker)
2003-01-13 05:34:28 AM  
Here's another WWII ballad. Find hundreds more in the book The bawdy songs and ballads of World War Two compiled by Martin Page.

Oh! farking Tobruk
All farking flea's, no farking beer,
No farking booze since we've been here.
And will it come? No farking fear,
In farking Tobruck

The farking rumours make me smile,
The farking wogs are farking vile.
The farking pommies cramp your style,
In farking Tobruk.

All farking dust, no farking rain,
All farking fighting since we came,
This army's just a farking shame,
In farking Tobruk.

The bully makes me farking wild,
I'd nearly eat a farking child,
The salt water makes me farking riled,
In farking Tobruk.

Air raids all day and farking night,
Huns striving with all farking might.
They give us a farking fright,
In farking Tobruk.

Best farking place is farking bed,
With a blanket over farking head.
And then they think you're farking dead,
In farking Tobruk.

Let's see how the censors handle that one.
2003-01-13 05:36:26 AM  
whats up w/ aussies always saying "wanker"? if i'm not mistaken, it means "one who masturbates"... I'd say thats just about everyone except crazy religious fanatics.
2003-01-13 06:06:50 AM  
Sheilanagig, here ya go!

(To the tune of Bridge on the River Kwai)
Has only got one ball!
Has two, but oh, so small.
Has something sim'lar
But Mr. Goebbels
Has no balls
At all.
2003-01-13 06:30:37 AM  
A "wanker", strictly speaking, is someone who thinks rather a lot of themselves, being noisy and a show-off in conversation etc. It implies that they are stroking themselves off all the time, metaphorically, as well as literally. It is also used more generally meaning roughly the same as the British "arsehole" (but slightly stronger than the US "asshole").
2003-01-13 06:33:59 AM  
Ah, that's it, the US equivalent of "Wanker" is "Jerk Off". Not just "Jerk" by itself because that's too mild and has lost some of it's association with masturbation.
2003-01-13 06:44:17 AM  
My name is Jack, I'm a necrophiliac
I fark dead women, when I can get in 'em
I get frustrated, when they're cremated
'Cos try as I must... I can't fark dust...
2003-01-13 06:52:18 AM  
Goatman, as I remember the song, our friend Jack farked deam women " make a livin'".

Hmmm, guess that job must come with a sweet benefits package.
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