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(Wordpress)   Studies show that what people really want at a funeral is fun. Subby proposes an open bar and a bobbing for apples basin   (shootbloggers.wordpress.com) divider line 137
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1540 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2008 at 11:10 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-11-25 08:35:30 AM
I wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt to the last funeral I attended. It was mostly received well; it was my grandmother's sister that died.
 
2008-11-25 08:59:15 AM
The last few "post-death events" I have attended have been called a "Celebration of Life," not a funeral.
 
2008-11-25 09:06:35 AM
Pin the tail on the corpse?
 
2008-11-25 09:18:00 AM
How about Vice President Dick Cheney as guest of honor?
 
2008-11-25 10:05:02 AM
"So you here with anyone?"

www.hotflick.net
 
2008-11-25 10:37:40 AM
You can't spell "funeral" without "fun."
 
2008-11-25 10:40:43 AM
Strippers might be fun. Give the corpse a lap-dance.
 
2008-11-25 11:14:00 AM
I close my eyes
Only for a moment, but the moments gone.
 
2008-11-25 11:14:21 AM
When i die, I want a full buffet and a party. I want people to be happy that i lived a full life.
 
2008-11-25 11:15:49 AM
The 'Yossarian22' requiem music that I have already prepared will have guests dancing in the aisle.
 
2008-11-25 11:16:22 AM
Thisbymaster: When i die, I want a full buffet and a party. I want people to be happy that i lived a full life.

That's how we Irish do it. Well it's not so much a buffet as an open bar but still, it's not all weeping in black clothes.
 
2008-11-25 11:17:00 AM
Turns out it wasn't a pinata after all.
 
2008-11-25 11:17:02 AM
Nick Swardson covered this in his comedy routine. It was quite hilarious.
 
2008-11-25 11:18:07 AM
I attended a funeral for a co-worker's family member last week and could not stop thinking that I want a keg at mine, a band might be cool, but I absolutely want as many people as possible leaving feeling that they had a good time.

Plus, I don't want to be there, I think the corpse on the left side of the party may tend to keep the festivities down.
 
2008-11-25 11:18:07 AM
I want my body dressed in bling and stood in the corner, then all my homies can come up and give me man hugs..

oh yeah, I should be wearing dark shades even though I'm inside.
 
2008-11-25 11:18:28 AM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Nick Swardson covered this in his comedy routine. It was quite hilarious.

You'd have John Stamos show up at your funeral too?
 
2008-11-25 11:18:53 AM
Before they cremate me, I want my coffin to be a giant jack-in-the-box.
 
2008-11-25 11:19:00 AM
I've said it before but I want:

A small chapel loaded into a cargo plane.
HateBreed to start playing "live for this" live once we level out at sky diving height.
The chapel to be shoved out of the plane.
The band lights the whole chapel on fire and kicks my gas soaked coffin over.
Anyone wishing to live can mosh/fight for the parachutes.
 
2008-11-25 11:19:27 AM
abb3w: How about Vice President Dick Cheney as guest of honor?

Just don't give him a loaded rifle for the 21-gun salute.
 
2008-11-25 11:19:47 AM
Thisbymaster: When i die, I want a full buffet and a party. I want people to be happy that i lived a full life.


I'm being cremated as cheaply as possible. The thousands of dollars that the funeral home would usually get is going to renting out a beach house and party supplies.
 
2008-11-25 11:19:56 AM
I've always enjoyed the "Closed casket, $1 a peek" special.
 
2008-11-25 11:20:47 AM

Apparently funerals need not be funereal.
 
2008-11-25 11:20:52 AM
fatal_exception: Before they cremate me, I want my coffin to be a giant jack-in-the-box.

Isn't the whole point of cremation to save on the cost of a coffin?
 
2008-11-25 11:20:53 AM
Classic- Graham Chapman funeral

Link (new window)
 
2008-11-25 11:22:03 AM
Ahlgrim's Acres It's not all grim at Ahlgrims!
(new window)
 
2008-11-25 11:22:11 AM
Last funeral I went to everyone I was with had to leave for puke breaks. We all had epic hangovers. It's how he would have wanted it.
 
2008-11-25 11:22:33 AM

Dinty Moore's Law


I've always enjoyed the "Closed casket, $1 a peek" special.


Peek-a-buck?
 
2008-11-25 11:22:37 AM
fatal_exception: Before they cremate me, I want my coffin to be a giant jack-in-the-box.

Give it to a preschool beforehand.
 
2008-11-25 11:23:10 AM
i got confused when i read bobbing as boobies...

i plan on being cremated so no one has to go to a funeral. however, I am leaving a sum of money for a party fund for all of my friends/family. they are going to remember me for the party, not the funeral.
 
2008-11-25 11:23:56 AM
I've already started saving for my wake. There will be no less than 2 kegs (1 Guinness, 1 Harp), a full buffet and an Irish band. I don't want anyone wearing black either. I would really like to have my urn made of platinum (I will not be worm food), but I doubt I could save enough for all of that. The kegs have to be floated before anyone can leave.

I want the mother of all parties when I go out. No drugs though. Drugs are bad mmmkay.
 
2008-11-25 11:23:57 AM
GIS "fun funeral"

50wtkm.newamerika.de

also

www.jonco48.com
 
2008-11-25 11:24:44 AM
lmdiorio.files.wordpress.com

Approves.
 
2008-11-25 11:24:52 AM
Funeral also spells real fun
 
2008-11-25 11:24:58 AM
how about a pinata! Getting all that anger out, because you weren't mentioned in the will, by hitting the crap out of the stuffed animal with a stick! God Ol' Fun!
 
2008-11-25 11:25:24 AM
www.joe-ks.com
This way people can play computer games while they pay their respect.
 
2008-11-25 11:26:01 AM
"I did not attend the funeral, but I sent a nice note saying I approved of it." Samuel L. Clemens.
 
2008-11-25 11:26:15 AM
oblig Same Window
 
2008-11-25 11:26:17 AM
I went to an Irish Funeral and actually started having a good time. I told my dad that when I went, that was what I wanted. He agreed, and made me promise that there would be a lot of liquor at his funeral and smiles and not tears.

Unfortunately, we come from an Italian family where every funeral is a competition on who can sob the hardest.
 
2008-11-25 11:27:15 AM
You can dance on my grave.
 
2008-11-25 11:27:23 AM
idrow: This way people can play computer games while they pay their respect.

Or download porn and masturbate on your corpse...
 
2008-11-25 11:27:35 AM
Almighty Supremebeing Allah:
i plan on being cremated so no one has to go to a funeral. however, I am leaving a sum of money for a party fund for all of my friends/family. they are going to remember me for the party, not the funeral.


ok, I just rethought part of my plan. I am going to have that fund for the party and it is going to be in a closed banquet room. At a previously scheduled time, with a friend that is as big of an asshole as me, he is going to lock the doors. Then he will pour my ashes into the air vents and everyone is going to be dusted with my dead, burned ass.
 
2008-11-25 11:27:54 AM
MY funeral will be......different, because I'm an organ donor:

img.photobucket.com
 
2008-11-25 11:28:33 AM
idrow: This way people can play computer games while they pay their respect.

Coffin Computer

T­h­eAf­terLife­[nospam-﹫-backwards]dog*com
 
2008-11-25 11:28:43 AM

blazemongr


Isn't the whole point of cremation to save on the cost of a coffin?


Yes and no. Health regulations require the body to be stored in a non-leaking sort of box until it is cremated. A coffin is necessary, but it can (and probably should) be a plain pine box, not the Lux-O-Crate models used for traditional funerals.
 
2008-11-25 11:29:03 AM
I told my wife that I wanted her to hire a clown for my funeral, but she's deathly afraid of clowns.

Looks like she's gonna have to go first.
 
2008-11-25 11:29:04 AM
Basic plans for my funeral:

1) Be cremated.
2) Throw a party with plenty of top-shelf booze and cigars.
3) Guests will be encouraged to ash into the urn.
4) My ashes will be spread onto the waters of Lake Chelan....a cooler full of beer must be on the boat.
 
2008-11-25 11:29:04 AM
Juggalo funeral

Link (new window)

Oblig.
 
2008-11-25 11:29:10 AM
My favorite thing to do at a funeral is to try and shoot mints into the casket from across the room.
 
2008-11-25 11:30:02 AM
Englebert Slaptyback: Yes and no. Health regulations require the body to be stored in a non-leaking sort of box until it is cremated. A coffin is necessary, but it can (and probably should) be a plain pine box, not the Lux-O-Crate models used for traditional funerals.

How bout a really big styrofoam cooler? They could fill it with beer.
/crack open a cold one!
 
2008-11-25 11:30:33 AM
Almighty Supremebeing Allah: Almighty Supremebeing Allah:
i plan on being cremated so no one has to go to a funeral. however, I am leaving a sum of money for a party fund for all of my friends/family. they are going to remember me for the party, not the funeral.

ok, I just rethought part of my plan. I am going to have that fund for the party and it is going to be in a closed banquet room. At a previously scheduled time, with a friend that is as big of an asshole as me, he is going to lock the doors. Then he will pour my ashes into the air vents and everyone is going to be dusted with my dead, burned ass.


Pixie AllahDust?
 
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