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(AP)   Ted "DSL" Haggard returns as another scum of Earth, an insurance salesman   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 108
    More: Dumbass  
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16137 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2008 at 7:36 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-11-23 05:18:48 PM
I fully expect him to make millions selling to the sheeple.
 
2008-11-23 05:41:12 PM
Ted "DSL" Haggard

I didn't know Haggard was a proponent of the digital subscriber line method of internet connection. The only thing I thought he was known for was loving the cock.
 
2008-11-23 05:43:20 PM
Screw that hateful hypocrite.
 
2008-11-23 05:57:31 PM
Haggard, who declined to be interviewed, is not the first fallen evangelical figure to agree to oversight and then balk. In the late 1980s, televangelist Jimmy Swaggart confessed to liaisons with a prostitute, begged forgiveness and submitted to the Assemblies of God, his denomination

Let's not forget;

Aimee Semple McPherson
----Faked her own death to avoid accusations of adultery.

Oral Roberts
----Claimed God would kill him unless he raised 8 million dollars.

Peter Popoff
----Performed magical faith healing 'call outs' by use of a radio receiver hidden in his ear.

Mike Warnke
----Fraud and illegal use of donated funds.

Robert Tilton
----Fraud and illegal use of donated funds.

Frank Houston
----Paedophile

Douglas Goodman
----Jailed for 4 counts of sexual assault.

Kent Hovind
----Sentenced to 10 years for 58 federal tax offenses and threatening federal officials.

Lonnie Latham
----Arrested for "offering to engage in an act of lewdness" to an undercover officer.

Bishop Earl Paulk
----Numerous sexual relations with married members of his congregation.

Coy Privette
----Charged with 6 counts of aiding and abetting prostitution.

Phil Driscoll
----Guilty on one count of conspiracy to avoid paying income taxes and two additional counts of income tax evasion

Joe Barron
----Arrested for solicitation of a 13 year-old girl.

Tony Alamo
----Headquarters raided as part of a child pornography sting, under accusations of child abuse, sexual abuse and polygamy.

Sexual infidelity, paedophilia and tax fraud. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Shine on.
 
2008-11-23 06:49:29 PM
ninjakirby:
Kent Hovind
----Sentenced to 10 years for 58 federal tax offenses and threatening federal officials.


Thought for a moment you were going to miss Dr. Dino. I was relieved that you didn't.

/subordination of false muster, my ass...
 
2008-11-23 06:52:08 PM
Ace Frehley's Ghost: Thought for a moment you were going to miss Dr. Dino. I was relieved that you didn't.

I did leave out three or four 'scandals' involving a pastor who came out as Gay and caused an uproar within his following.
 
2008-11-23 07:39:20 PM
too funny!
www.evangelicalright.com
 
2008-11-23 07:41:19 PM
sad. really sad
 
2008-11-23 07:42:00 PM
John Lee Pettimore: sad. really sad

Ummm...for who?
 
2008-11-23 07:42:27 PM
Let's not forget;
The part about Blessed are the Meek seems to have escaped this group of lowlifes.
 
2008-11-23 07:46:49 PM
holiday_inn_in_cambodia: www.evangelicalright.com

Please, enlighten me about this picture.
 
2008-11-23 07:46:50 PM
ninjakirby: Haggard, who declined to be interviewed, is not the first fallen evangelical figure to agree to oversight and then balk. In the late 1980s, televangelist Jimmy Swaggart confessed to liaisons with a prostitute, begged forgiveness and submitted to the Assemblies of God, his denomination

Let's not forget;

Sexual infidelity, paedophilia and tax fraud. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Shine on.




Yeah, as I grow older the more church resembles prison: If you want to learn how to rob, steal, and bully you gotta be inside to learn how from the old timers.
 
2008-11-23 07:46:53 PM
It's okay... I hear he's completely heterosexual.

Glory How-He-Blew-Ya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZmHC75FDqQ (new window)
 
2008-11-23 07:48:05 PM
ninjakirby: Sexual infidelity, paedophilia and tax fraud. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Shine on.

There are always plenty of examples, too. FFRF's newsletter always has a section devoted to reports of ecclesiastical buggery, asshattery, and poltroonery. They use a tiny font and it still takes at least a couple of pages to fit them all in.
 
2008-11-23 07:52:18 PM
Ignominiousbob: The part about Blessed are the Meek seems to have escaped this group of lowlifes.


Sorry, I can't apply that to someone who is only recently meek because he got caught and toppled from his empire.
 
2008-11-23 07:54:37 PM
My lil brainsponge hurts after reading all the weird in that article. One would have thought Fark would have rendered me immune to such things by now, but apparently not.
 
2008-11-23 07:56:17 PM
Bishop Earl Paulk
----Numerous sexual relations with married members of his congregation.


Don't leave ya dough or ya hoe round Pimp Pastor Paulk
 
2008-11-23 07:57:04 PM
from article:

"$700,000 home"
 
2008-11-23 07:58:35 PM
FTA:

In the sermons, Haggard said a co-worker of his father molested him when he was 7, an experience that "started to produce fruit" when he turned 50.

Yea....I would say so Teddy......
 
2008-11-23 07:59:25 PM
He was selling insurance before... give us lots of money or you will burn in hell with teh gheys (had to scratch that last part from his sales pitch for a bit, but he's been deprogrammed and is now back solely on the vajajay according to church insiders.
 
2008-11-23 07:59:51 PM
OK, I give... WTF is the "DSL" referring to? Is Ted Haggard selling insurance specifically to broadband users?
 
2008-11-23 07:59:57 PM
rebelyell2006: holiday_inn_in_cambodia: www.evangelicalright.com

Please, enlighten me about this picture.


wish I could. it was one of the top results of a GIS for "ted haggard"
 
2008-11-23 08:00:12 PM
i77.photobucket.com

i77.photobucket.com
 
2008-11-23 08:01:02 PM
adeist69: Ignominiousbob: The part about Blessed are the Meek seems to have escaped this group of lowlifes.


Sorry, I can't apply that to someone who is only recently meek because he got caught and toppled from his empire.
.


No, that's not right either. I can't apply that to someone who has recently been humbled because he got caught and toppled from his empire.

I doubt he's ever been meek in his life.
 
2008-11-23 08:01:33 PM
www.hyperdeathbabies.com
 
2008-11-23 08:02:01 PM
i am a born again christian and would like
to remind everyone that god preached love
and forgiveness.
everyone in my fellowship has pledged to
support the rev. in his new venture, showing
the love and tolerance that our religion is
so rightly famous for.
trust is not the issue, even though he came
in my mouth that one time and he said he never would.
saw him today and he was his usual enthusiastic
self, or maybe he's tweeking again?
aw crap, my money's gone, isn't it teddy?
 
2008-11-23 08:02:38 PM
LesserEvil: OK, I give... WTF is the "DSL" referring to? Is Ted Haggard selling insurance specifically to broadband users?

Dick Sucking Lips.
 
2008-11-23 08:03:59 PM
ninjakirby:

Let's not forget [...]
Sexual infidelity, paedophilia and tax fraud. Shine on you crazy diamonds. Shine on.


All those folk are being tested by the Lord, to see how firm the foundation of their faith can b......

Nah, I couldn't make it all the way through that statement myself.
 
2008-11-23 08:06:42 PM
 
2008-11-23 08:08:46 PM
Probably the only reason Ted Haggard is now a born-again hetero, is because he's really not cute enough or young enough to be in the homo world.

That's why he had to pay for it.
 
2008-11-23 08:09:08 PM
LesserEvil: OK, I give... WTF is the "DSL" referring to? Is Ted Haggard selling insurance specifically to broadband users?

Link (new window)
 
2008-11-23 08:10:06 PM
The dude snorted meth while having gay sex. That's about as hardcore gay as they come. (No pun intended.)

He really should just move to a tolerant coastal city and live his life in peace. Out and free. (If he had any sense.)
 
2008-11-23 08:11:10 PM
Britney's dad needs to become a consultant to these wackjob pastors. He knows how to fix the crayzee.
 
2008-11-23 08:15:50 PM
His urges are still there and he shouldn't be in any position of authority, especially not one where he would be in contact with children, such as being a pastor.

While everyone makes mistakes and deserves to be forgiven, homosexual sex is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

I believe that he is sorry for what he did, but I don't believe he has changed. He's the same drug using deviant he was 2 years ago.
 
2008-11-23 08:18:16 PM
Kenwhat: While everyone makes mistakes and deserves to be forgiven, homosexual sex is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

I'm calling troll.
 
2008-11-23 08:22:17 PM
Kenwhat: I believe that he is sorry for what he did, but I don't believe he has changed. He's the same drug using deviant he was 2 years ago.



I believe you meant he's sorry he got caught.

Being a hypocrite is no way to go through life, Haggard.
 
2008-11-23 08:24:27 PM
I don't care if it's a plumber, an insurance salesman, or a lawyer. If you see a Jesusfish in their ad or on their truck, or you see them in a 'Christian business listing', run away.
 
2008-11-23 08:24:31 PM
Kenwhat
homosexual sex is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

You speaking from experience?
It's like you're trying to cover up your own love of the cock.
 
2008-11-23 08:24:35 PM
Right, because the people who process the paperwork for your home, life and auto insurance policies are "scumbags". Cripes...

Kenwhat: While everyone makes mistakes and deserves to be forgiven, homosexual sex is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

You're welcome.
 
2008-11-23 08:26:15 PM
greenz: Kenwhat
homosexual sex is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

You speaking from experience?
It's like you're trying to cover up your own love of the cock.


Didn't Ted Haggard say the same sort of thing? Right before he got caught?
 
2008-11-23 08:28:06 PM
greenz: It's like you're trying to cover up your own love of the cock.

See?!? You Libs are REALLY the ones who hate gay people! HURRR!!!!
 
2008-11-23 08:28:57 PM
In the article it looks like all the adminstrators of his
church are very skeptical as to this guy's motives.

As are everyone on Fark. (myself included)

\it's all about the money
 
2008-11-23 08:30:24 PM
DSL?? Dick sucking loser?
 
2008-11-23 08:30:51 PM
Just go full gay and be happy with your life Haggard. Learn to do something useful and get a stable boyfriend.
 
2008-11-23 08:31:12 PM
Fark, meet Roy Zimmerman. You can thank me with a Total Fark membership!

Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual
 
2008-11-23 08:32:48 PM
While everyone makes mistakes and deserves to be forgiven, homosexual sex evangelical preaching is not just a mistake, it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

ftfy
 
2008-11-23 08:35:33 PM
greyspace The dude snorted meth while having gay sex. That's about as hardcore gay as they come

Mm...no it isn't. It's common, but not hardcore.
 
2008-11-23 08:36:31 PM
Lawnchair: I don't care if it's a plumber, an insurance salesman, or a lawyer. If you see a Jesusfish in their ad or on their truck, or you see them in a 'Christian business listing', run away.

Exactly.
Every so called "christian" business I have run into has been incompetent or a scam artist. I don't know if one leads to the other or the other way around.
 
2008-11-23 08:36:56 PM
FTA: "a deceiver and a liar" Sounds like an insurance agent to me.

Seriously, this guy is really sad. I hate him because he preys on people for money, but feel bad for him because he can't admit who he is. I don't care how expensive his home is or what kind of car he drives, the self-hatred he feels must be enormous.

The hypocrite's downfall was damn amusing, though.
 
2008-11-23 08:40:31 PM
Kenwhat it's a deviant characteristic that one doesn't simply outgrow.

Don't be so bitter. You hang in there, you'll find the man of your dreams some day.
 
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