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(Stuff.co.nz)   Why women go wild the night before the wedding   (stuff.co.nz) divider line 275
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41015 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2008 at 9:02 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-11-23 11:42:58 AM  
i201.photobucket.com
 
2008-11-23 11:43:44 AM  
inkspot.customink.com

Hotlinked - shamelessly
 
2008-11-23 11:44:47 AM  
Caution! Hot blondes farking: blowjobs: how long should they last?

Until ejaculation....?

This comment implies that sooner is better. I have to disagree. The best bjs I've had (from my non-frigid wife, btw) lasted a good fifteen minutes. She'd take me right to the edge and then back off. By the time she relented, I blew the back of her head off.
 
2008-11-23 11:45:37 AM  
The Latest in Jellybean Technology: Whodat?: I know this is from NZ and all, but doesn't "hen's night" sound kinda offensive?

The number of times i've been assaulted by these packs of female animals justifies my calling them whatever i want.

I live in Boston but spend a lot of time in NYC and Chicago for business - last year in Chicago (and this is 1 of 3 stories i can share), i got mauled by 6 or 7 wasted women on State St. Apparently they were on a scavenger hunt and one of the items was to feel up a complete stranger.

I still don't know what to think about it because though hot, and they were quite hot, they seriously hurt the jewels...


I have to wonder how long a man would be in jail if during a bachelor party one of the games was to feel up a complete stranger.
 
2008-11-23 11:46:03 AM  
farfigneugan Your point has changed with each post.

To your new point now, but men who stray are still entitled to take half of what their wife has, so why wouldn't women?

More often than not, the courts allow the husband and wife to reasonably decide how to split everything up on their own. More often than not that's how most divorces go down (though you'd never know it by the majority of bitter farkers on here). The problem is that when you're in a partnership, you buy things together. It is assumed that while one partner might be earning more, the other might be contributing more in non monetary ways. ( If this isn't happening then maybe you should have reconsidered the type of person you choose to marry in the first place. Take some more time to get to know them.) When it was bought it was bought with the idea "this is ours" not "this is from my money." Therefore, it gets very difficult to determine what belongs to who, and the most equitable thing to do is to split everything in half. How is that getting "reamed?"

Now, I don't believe anyone should be paying alimony in this day and age. Women have every opportunity to work.
 
2008-11-23 11:46:56 AM  
BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

Came here to say that: glad to see it was the Boobies.

After 14 years of capitivity, my blushing bride still can't get past the gag reflex.
 
2008-11-23 11:47:02 AM  
I am guessing the main reason why so many Farker's wives appear to be frigid is due to mundane, boring sex. As with all things in life, frequent change and new experiences keep things interesting. If you are incapable of keeping your spouse interested and excited it is no wonder that they'll lose interest in sex with you. Start experimenting with new things in the bedroom, such as vibrating and oscillating toys, live chickens, whips, bondage, midgets, etc.
 
2008-11-23 11:47:52 AM  
farfigneugan: Daffydil

Wazzat mean? I'm half asleep this morning.
 
2008-11-23 11:49:57 AM  
mazzz: Caution! Hot blondes farking: blowjobs: how long should they last?

Until ejaculation....?

This comment implies that sooner is better. I have to disagree. The best bjs I've had (from my non-frigid wife, btw) lasted a good fifteen minutes. She'd take me right to the edge and then back off. By the time she relented, I blew the back of her head off.


Uhmmmm.. unless you're referring to using a gun ... that would be ejaculation....
 
2008-11-23 11:51:10 AM  
CowboyUpCowgirlDown: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

Came here to say that: glad to see it was the Boobies.

After 14 years of capitivity, my blushing bride still can't get past the gag reflex.


It modified "Boobies" to "the Boobies"? Weird, huh?

Boobies, Boobies, Boobies!
 
2008-11-23 11:52:15 AM  
aneki: Oh_Enough_Already: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

?????

Most Brides-to-be these days spend half of the night chugging the cocks of strangers and male strippers on the night of their bachelorette parties and the other half sharing double headed dildoes with their gal pals in the back of the limo.

After that kind of debauchery you think they suddenly clamp their legs shut?

Married sex becomes less about gratification and more about being a weapon to control your desperate, sex starved husband.


sounds like some3one really picked a winner....
 
2008-11-23 11:52:50 AM  
Leopold_Desciple: Now, I don't believe anyone should be paying alimony in this day and age. Women have every opportunity to work.

Well there you go then. It'd be one thing to split up what was accrued during the time together, but I was talking about someone that I know personally that owns a small hotel bought with alimony money, is still getting 40k yearly in alimony and makes more money from her hotel than the husband makes that is paying said alimony. Yeah, that's reamed.
I'm speaking of the parents of my most recent ex, and my ex wonders why her dad drinks so much...
 
2008-11-23 11:52:55 AM  
Boobies?

Fur Post?

Primary Posting?

Earliest sentiment?
 
2008-11-23 11:53:05 AM  
Yeah_Right

Uhmmmm.. unless you're referring to using a gun ... that would be ejaculation....

Yeah, but it could have happened 14 minutes earlier. So you're saying that 14 minutes was wasted time? What's your hurry?
 
2008-11-23 11:53:48 AM  
Whodat?: I know this is from NZ and all, but doesn't "hen's night" sound kinda offensive?

And are the converse "Cock's Nights?"
 
jph
2008-11-23 11:54:30 AM  
smeegle: Rape is rape married or not. It happens when the word "no" is ignored and the pecker guzinto the dry vagina.

Right, the problem is balancing spousal rape versus implied consent. A wife in a loving couple would have no issue with being woken by her husband's donger sliding in and out, but in a relationship with issues, that would not be the case.
 
2008-11-23 11:54:55 AM  
ScottHimself: Using this thread as an excuse to post the hottest striptease I've ever seen on the intertubes.

NSFW (new window)


I don't even know what "bookmark" means.
 
2008-11-23 11:57:00 AM  
Excellent cheating thread!

The timing couldn't be better for me to read it. She got pissed at me because I don't want her to go to a guy's house. And, quite frankly, I'm this close to putting my foot in her arse and her arse out the door.

Background: Douchebag only sleeps with those who are in relationships. They used to have a sexual relationship. He smokes pot. And she wants to go over.

A little more background: She emailed him about one of his former co-workers. He got back later and said that his dad died and could she come over to talk. She told him she didn't think I would like it.

Then told me she wanted to go over to him.

I told her I didn't want her to do that because "come over to talk" means "console me" which means "have sex." And I bring up the background points mentioned above.

Then she says that I don't trust her. She said this is exactly why she doesn't want to get married. Then she tries to put me on the defensive by saying there were times when she was angry enough to leave me.

I'm sure she won't bring it up again for a couple weeks. But she will bring it up again. And we will argue again.

...Needless to say, I have very little incentive to laud her with holiday gifts this year.

...Did I mention that we used to hump like bunnies but are now down to once per month - and she acts like she's doing me a favor when we do it?

...Yeah, this won't end well. But I'm pretty sure it will end. Because she wants me to let her go over to a they house of a guy who sexes "taken" women, smokes pot, and used to sex her up.

...Yeah. Clearly it's me. Clearly I'm the one who's irrational. Clearly it's a male ego thing. Just because I don't want her to sex a loser while living under my roof.

...Glad I know this before getting on bended knee.
 
2008-11-23 11:58:33 AM  
Number40

She's cheating. Dump the biatch.
 
2008-11-23 12:00:13 PM  
Number40 Hey now, smoking pot is nowhere near as likely to lead to cheating as alcohol would be. C'mon now...
/not being sarcastic.
 
2008-11-23 12:00:30 PM  
Number40: Excellent cheating thread!

The timing couldn't be better for me to read it. She got pissed at me because I don't want her to go to a guy's house. And, quite frankly, I'm this close to putting my foot in her arse and her arse out the door.

Background: Douchebag only sleeps with those who are in relationships. They used to have a sexual relationship. He smokes pot. And she wants to go over.

A little more background: She emailed him about one of his former co-workers. He got back later and said that his dad died and could she come over to talk. She told him she didn't think I would like it.

Then told me she wanted to go over to him.

I told her I didn't want her to do that because "come over to talk" means "console me" which means "have sex." And I bring up the background points mentioned above.

Then she says that I don't trust her. She said this is exactly why she doesn't want to get married. Then she tries to put me on the defensive by saying there were times when she was angry enough to leave me.

I'm sure she won't bring it up again for a couple weeks. But she will bring it up again. And we will argue again.

...Needless to say, I have very little incentive to laud her with holiday gifts this year.

...Did I mention that we used to hump like bunnies but are now down to once per month - and she acts like she's doing me a favor when we do it?

...Yeah, this won't end well. But I'm pretty sure it will end. Because she wants me to let her go over to a they house of a guy who sexes "taken" women, smokes pot, and used to sex her up.

...Yeah. Clearly it's me. Clearly I'm the one who's irrational. Clearly it's a male ego thing. Just because I don't want her to sex a loser while living under my roof.

...Glad I know this before getting on bended knee.


Quit whining. You know what you have to do. DHMFA
 
2008-11-23 12:00:32 PM  
PC LOAD LETTER: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

I must have married a freak of nature then.


Dude? You are telling us that your wife is a blowjob Queen and you're hung like a horse.

If true, WTF are you doing on Fark on Sunday morning. This is prime time, amigo. If she isn't playing swallow the salami on Sunday, I call b/s.
 
2008-11-23 12:01:00 PM  
ScottHimself: Using this thread as an excuse to post the hottest striptease I've ever seen on the intertubes.

NSFW (new window)


I find it hard to get aroused by that because being able to have sex with a woman that hot is beyond my comprehension - much like Sarah Palin supporters, string theory, and the Time Cube.
 
2008-11-23 12:02:39 PM  
Number40

Sounds like true love dude. Marry her and get a weed connect. She sounds cool.
 
2008-11-23 12:05:10 PM  
You know I slept with an engaged woman about 2 weeks before the weedding.

It wasn't suprise sex, it was "Wow your dick is big, even my fiancee's isn't that big, I must try it out."
---------------------------------------------

Of course it wasn't a surprise. Unless, that is, you surprised her by whipping it out on her at unawares. Since puberty, every time a girl has seen mine we've had sex shortly thereafter. I'm sure you both has some clue where the evening was headed...
 
2008-11-23 12:11:50 PM  
CowboyUpCowgirlDown: PC LOAD LETTER: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

I must have married a freak of nature then.

Dude? You are telling us that your wife is a blowjob Queen and you're hung like a horse.

If true, WTF are you doing on Fark on Sunday morning. This is prime time, amigo. If she isn't playing swallow the salami on Sunday, I call b/s.


Hey man they could already be done and she's sleeping it off while he is farking until round two.

Some people get up early..
 
2008-11-23 12:12:25 PM  
What the fark is a margherita?
 
2008-11-23 12:13:19 PM  
Number40:

Why are you with her again?

I think you know you need to find someone more honest and trustworthy (i.e. not skankhoe) to settle down with. You should break up with her, or enjoy your status as cuckold-doormat.
 
2008-11-23 12:20:15 PM  
dumpstergirl: Number40:

Why are you with her again?

I think you know you need to find someone more honest and trustworthy (i.e. not skankhoe) to settle down with. You should break up with her, or enjoy your status as cuckold-doormat.


Don't mince words dumps.. tell him how you really feel.
 
2008-11-23 12:20:21 PM  
CowboyUpCowgirlDown: PC LOAD LETTER: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

I must have married a freak of nature then.

Dude? You are telling us that your wife is a blowjob Queen and you're hung like a horse.

If true, WTF are you doing on Fark on Sunday morning. This is prime time, amigo. If she isn't playing swallow the salami on Sunday, I call b/s.


Saturday morning is more active than Sunday morning. We usually get busy in the mid-PM on Sundays.
 
2008-11-23 12:23:36 PM  
lazymojo: Hen's nights are a kind of pressure valve, says Lola Tsiaras, who is doing a PhD in clinical psychology, researching social relationships. "For men, it's not unusual to go out in a big group every weekend," she says. "But after high school, women don't really go out in packs ... Women generally prefer one-on-one situations; if they're going out with the girls, they'll go out for dinner. So for something like a hen's night, there's a shared objective: to go wild. And because women normally censor themselves, and may not go out as often, they tend to make the most of it."

Tsiaras sees hen's nights as the safest way for women to go wild.



Um, you're on the right track there, but the reasoning is more biological... and simple. Having offspring with multiple mates ensures your offspring will be more genetically diverse, and increases the chances some of them will survive plague, pestilance, war, etc.

She goes "wild" before the wedding because she has every genetic inclination to get knocked up by someone else, and let the (unwitting) guy she's marrying help raise it.

The quack who provided the quote above only got it half right. I hate when people try and elevate human behavior above that of dogs, or pigs, or apes... for all practical purposes, it's not any more sophisticated.

The idea that there's some sort of rational thought behind the typical "hens' night out" is absurd.



You know there are animals who do stay monogamous right?
There are also animals who engage in prostitution.
There are also animals who practice polygamy.

Really, in the animal kingdom you can find just about any arrangement you're looking for... so just stating humans are animals doesn't do jack to tell us about our behavior.
 
2008-11-23 12:28:26 PM  
Telos: You know there are animals who do stay monogamous right?
There are also animals who engage in prostitution.
There are also animals who practice polygamy.

Really, in the animal kingdom you can find just about any arrangement you're looking for... so just stating humans are animals doesn't do jack to tell us about our behavior.


Sure it does! You didn't give any examples that don't also take place in human relationships, therefore, humans are animals.
 
2008-11-23 12:29:54 PM  
DavePinFL: dumpstergirl: Number40:

Why are you with her again?

I think you know you need to find someone more honest and trustworthy (i.e. not skankhoe) to settle down with. You should break up with her, or enjoy your status as cuckold-doormat.

Don't mince words dumps.. tell him how you really feel.


I think dumpstergirl was quite nice about it.

IT is obivious the woman has already been over there and thrown the ass on the guy. Now she feels bad about it, so is playing mindgames with him so she can justify her whoring to herself

"he was jealous, and did not trust me, would not let me have my freedom, so I might as well cheat, but I will stay here as long as he is paying the bills"

That is how a woman reacts when she farks around. Becomes a total biatch to her real boyfriend or husband.

Men tend to become overly nice and caring to their wife/girlfriend when we cheat.

It is always easier to bone up a married or woman with a boyfriend. They feel entitled.


p.s. for a young un dumpter girl always speaks the truth.
 
2008-11-23 12:31:18 PM  
Ima10urin8: I tapped out a bride to be in a club in Florida last year.

Ditto, except it was in Vancouver.
 
2008-11-23 12:36:05 PM  
smeegle: I wonder if they go wild because they know their future husband will grow a beer belly and never go down on them again.


I know of a fellow that can make a "Sex Ramp" to help out in that situation.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/starfun/view/58845/Fatty-s-rampy-pumpy/ (pops)
World's fattest man finally gets some...after friends build him a 'sex ramp'
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4024605#new (pops)
 
2008-11-23 12:37:20 PM  
Am the only person in the universe that feels disgusted when I discover someone is willing to cheat on someone else, even if I despise the other person? This includes chicks on a "hen's night" or in a relationship with a real asshole.

/You don't gotta call them to break up that night, but you'd better tell them the next day.
//Not particularly fond of people that expect it is ok for me to cheat, either.
 
2008-11-23 12:37:26 PM  
Coming Out

Okay, before you guys rant about how all men are evil I'll tell you my story. I'm 29 was married for 5 years plus a bit and separated for a while, just got my divorce. We got married after I finished my Masters and got a real job and she went onto PhD. 2 years later, our friends introduced us to WoW and we played. I didn't play too much (after all I had to work and also do housework), but she started playing all the time. Not doing any grad work and just playing. By about the middle of the third year year she was doing 12-16 hour days on WoW and nothing else. She lost her scholarship for grad school (because she did nothing) and quit grad school (she would've been kicked out within two weeks anyway as she missed her third comprehensive for the second time in a row).

For the next almost two years, she literally did nothing besides WoW. I worked and paid the rent, food, bills, and everything. If I didn't do something, it wouldn't get done. If I didn't cook, she would just scrounge from the fridge. If I didn't clean, oh well she wouldn't do it. It was all WoW to her and it got to the point where her days would be like 4PM to 7AM to match her raiding schedule. I tried to help her as much as I could: getting her to go out, trying anything to get her to stop playing, suggesting we see a doctor or psychologist, basically anything to help her because she didn't want to help herself. I was miserably everyday and I was literally getting sick.

I realized one day (with the advice of one farkette here) that being alone is better then in a bad relationship. I made her choose our relationship or the video game, and she choose the latter. She moved out with her parents and I filed.

Onto the divorce, which I got ram'ed up the ass on. I make a good salary as an IT guy, I won't say how much but in the range of 50-75K a year in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She argued (or literally her lawyer) that she had an illness/diablity (addiction) and required long term support. My lawyer argued against the long term support but lost since I put that as a reason for our divorce (her addiction). Alimony? I'm paying $1900 a month to her (the one shining hope is that the judge ordered her to see treatment) with review. I'm hoping to apply to review in a year.
 
2008-11-23 12:39:51 PM  
Nightjars: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

My wife hasn't gotten the memo. Please don't forward it to her.


You're telling me! I second that -- don't forward the memo to Nightjars' wife.

And keep working late, pal.
 
2008-11-23 12:41:34 PM  
SingerWang: Onto the divorce, which I got ram'ed up the ass on. I make a good salary as an IT guy, I won't say how much but in the range of 50-75K a year in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She argued (or literally her lawyer) that she had an illness/diablity (addiction) and required long term support. My lawyer argued against the long term support but lost since I put that as a reason for our divorce (her addiction). Alimony? I'm paying $1900 a month to her (the one shining hope is that the judge ordered her to see treatment) with review. I'm hoping to apply to review in a year.


1900 a month? I know that Canadian money isn't real money, but holy crap. That is more than I make as a grad student - I am sure it is more than she was making! How can that be justified if she lives with her parents?
 
2008-11-23 12:43:02 PM  
Asset check? VAWA? No-fault?
 
2008-11-23 12:47:45 PM  
ph0rk: SingerWang: Onto the divorce, which I got ram'ed up the ass on. I make a good salary as an IT guy, I won't say how much but in the range of 50-75K a year in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She argued (or literally her lawyer) that she had an illness/diablity (addiction) and required long term support. My lawyer argued against the long term support but lost since I put that as a reason for our divorce (her addiction). Alimony? I'm paying $1900 a month to her (the one shining hope is that the judge ordered her to see treatment) with review. I'm hoping to apply to review in a year.


1900 a month? I know that Canadian money isn't real money, but holy crap. That is more than I make as a grad student - I am sure it is more than she was making! How can that be justified if she lives with her parents?


... you haven't heard a word I've said,... have you?
 
2008-11-23 12:51:19 PM  
theflatline: DavePinFL: dumpstergirl: Number40:

Why are you with her again?

I think you know you need to find someone more honest and trustworthy (i.e. not skankhoe) to settle down with. You should break up with her, or enjoy your status as cuckold-doormat.

Don't mince words dumps.. tell him how you really feel.

I think dumpstergirl was quite nice about it.

IT is obivious the woman has already been over there and thrown the ass on the guy. Now she feels bad about it, so is playing mindgames with him so she can justify her whoring to herself

"he was jealous, and did not trust me, would not let me have my freedom, so I might as well cheat, but I will stay here as long as he is paying the bills"

That is how a woman reacts when she farks around. Becomes a total biatch to her real boyfriend or husband.

Men tend to become overly nice and caring to their wife/girlfriend when we cheat.

It is always easier to bone up a married or woman with a boyfriend. They feel entitled.


That's funny, given the posts here in favor of cheating were by men feeling they were entitled to doing so. Newsflash: People who cheat often will be able to rattle off a litany justifications so you don't think they're just untrustworthy douchebags. Men and women, alike.
 
2008-11-23 12:53:01 PM  
SingerWang: Coming Out

Okay, before you guys rant about how all men are evil I'll tell you my story.



Huh? Most posts have been how women has the evil, not men. You're just piling on now!
 
2008-11-23 12:54:29 PM  
Sheesh, it's threads like these that make me want to stay single.
 
2008-11-23 12:54:39 PM  
ph0rk I'm hoping to get it cutoff (or reduced) next year, I doubt she is getting treatment and the judge ordered her to do so. It has to do with incoming/assets too.

I've got about almost a year or so of salary in savings (savings/RRSP - which would've been higher if not the market). I did co-op during my bachelors and worked part time, so I didn't end up that badly in debt. For my Masters I got a NSERC which covered pretty much all o fit. She was paying her own way through Bachelors/Masters on student loans (BA in English), and just got a scholarship for her PhD.

She around 80K in debt.
 
2008-11-23 12:55:30 PM  
Leopold_Desciple: SingerWang: Coming Out

Okay, before you guys rant about how all men are evil I'll tell you my story.


Huh? Most posts have been how women has the evil, not men. You're just piling on now!


Oh, and to be fair, I will say that your situation sucked.
 
2008-11-23 12:56:26 PM  
Number40: ...Glad I know this before getting on bended knee.

Good thing you found this out now, before marriage you can just say C-ya later. After marriage...it's a hassle to say the least.
 
2008-11-23 12:58:57 PM  
Nightjars: BillCo: Because they know they've given their last blowjob?

My wife hasn't gotten the memo. Please don't forward it to her.


he meant blowjobs for their husbands
 
2008-11-23 12:59:42 PM  
There seem to be a LOT of unhappy husbands in this room. Where is this myth that the instant a woman gets her finger in a wedding ring then she never gives up the poon again? You think women don't have needs? You think women are, by virtue of being the bearers of the vagina, necessarily going to use that power to control the man they've dedicated their lives to pleasing and with whom they need to cooperate and cherish (whatever their motives)?

Every woman I know loves the cock. I know *I* do. Love it. Want to suck it, hold it, play with it, ride it, give it a name and make it do tricks. There are days, of course, when (alas) that isn't possible or I'm just not in the mood, but using sex as a weapon for control just denies you both a wonderful experience of cookie-having and making funny faces at one another.

If you, as a man, you feel you're being denied the sex you want to have from the woman you love, maybe it isn't her that's the problem. Maybe she's just sick and tired of having the same sex over and over again. Maybe you should try being creative and romantic or at least try to get her in the mood to want to have sex with you. Women aren't in charge of sex any more than men are. Seduction is an art and a skill: learn it. If your wife hasn't had a real orgasm in a while, what's the motivation to fark you?

Same goes for the ladies. Nothing is more fun than reducing a man to a drooling, wide-eyed, stupidly grinning ape-creature who has nothing else to do but make you orgasm over and over and over again. It's healthy.
 
2008-11-23 01:00:07 PM  
open relationships ftw.
 
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