I'm having a fight with my wife right now, so I'm really getting a kick, etc. etc. etc.

Great, that's all what humans need: another human trying to tell them how to live their lives.

As if the husband and wife already didn't spend enough time trying to tell each other how stupid the other one is.

What people really need is to learn how their brain works. How we are naturally paranoic and mind readers. How that paranoia and mind reading is always wrong and cause 99% of our problems.

Proposition Joe "Yeah, I'm like a marriage counselor. Tell the man he oughta bring the b*tch some flowers every once in a while. Tell the b*tch she gotta suck some c*ck every once in a while. That sort of sh*t."

Most marriages are doomed, since people today don't want to work on their differences.
Alas, are we the only animal that tries to lead a monogamous life?
Tis not natural.

I'm a man,
But I can change,
If I have to.....
..........I guess

/Red Green

Nobodyn0se: I'm having a fight with my wife right now, so I'm really getting a kick, etc. etc. etc.

I'm having a fight with your wife, too.

/Need... more... PILLOWS!

yuri82: Great, that's all what humans need: another human trying to tell them how to live their lives.

This.

Fark off regulating my life.

You guys are acting like marriage is something that was made up by ancient kings or clergy in order to appease the masses while still ensuring that said kings and clergy would still be able to bone as many concubines as their soldiers could bring from conquered lands.

/awaiting critique of flamebait

rolladuck: You guys are acting like marriage is something that was made up by ancient kings or clergy in order to appease the masses while still ensuring that said kings and clergy would still be able to bone as many concubines as their soldiers could bring from conquered lands.

/awaiting critique of flamebait

*peruses paperwork over spectacles*

Nope, this checks out. Carry on.

sojourner:

*peruses paperwork over spectacles*

Nope, this checks out. Carry on.

No dangling participles or split modifiers? I've got time to fix them. I'll be sitting in airports all day, since a computer ate my flight reservations and I had to rebook for some later hops.

/DTS sucks
//Slashies forever?!
///I got up at 3:30 for this?

michaeld5: Most marriages are doomed, since people today don't want to work on their differences.
Alas, are we the only animal that tries to lead a monogamous life?
Tis not natural.

Definitely not natural, but with all the disease infested people out there, monogomy might just be the best way to survive...without pussy sores or burning pee at least...

myalias1845: michaeld5: Most marriages are doomed, since people today don't want to work on their differences.
Alas, are we the only animal that tries to lead a monogamous life?
Tis not natural.

Definitely not natural, but with all the disease infested people out there, monogomy might just be the best way to survive...without pussypussing sores or burning pee at least...

FTFM. My bad. No pun intended.

"You won't be needing (pulls microphone off of chord) THAT anymore!"

Oh great. Just what the married man needs. Another venue in which to be forever wrong.

If a married man says something in the woods and there isn't a wife there to hear him, is he still wrong?

LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

well thats it. im buying a ring for myself

myalias1845: Definitely not natural, but with all the disease infested people out there, monogomy might just be the best way to survive...without pussypussing sores or burning pee at least...

FTFM. My bad. No pun intended.

I thought you had it right (and better) the first time.

at80eighty: LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

well thats it. im buying a ring for myself

Cock rings don't count.

myalias1845: Cock rings don't count.

i was referring to your cinnamon ring you whore

I don't believe that "biatch" is proper in that context.

michaeld5: Alas, are we the only animal that tries to lead a monogamous life?

Not the only animals no. Consider a women's "concealed ovulation"(no outward signs of fertility often even from the woman herself) which makes "fark and run" pretty hit and miss. Then there are the effects of oxytocin and vasopressin on the brain.

Besides all that, pants, cars, computers, living in-doors, antibiotics, showers, and desk jobs aren't "natural" by any stretch of the imagination. If you want to go natural than you gotta go all the way right?

/just saying
//devils advocate
///hopeless romantic too

coco ebert: Is there anyone here happy in their marriage?

Yep, ME! Happily not (yet) married! Living the debaucherous life of the engaged couple with my fiance'.

at80eighty: myalias1845: Cock rings don't count.

i was referring to your cinnamon ring you whore

Oh. Then please continue.

at80eighty: LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

well thats it. im buying a ring for myself



Approves

coco ebert: Is there anyone here happy in their marriage?

Sex is but one factor, albeit a big one, in a marriage. In my case, everything but the sex is great. Would I like intercourse more than 2 or 3 times a year? You bet. But I'm willing to put up with that for the rest of the picture.

And I know what you're thinking! I actually can bring her to multiples...she's just a product of uber-religious upbringing and can't shake that whole feeling of 'naughtyness' when her clothes are off.

/has perfected masturbation

myalias1845: at80eighty: LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

well thats it. im buying a ring for myself

Cock rings don't count.

Cock rights count where it counts

rings. Cock rights already got their victory in California

/Gays

* gays less than chickens, fark you parser...
/I give up

LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

Seriously...why is that? I once dated a girl for a couple of years before becoming engaged. None of her friends, in that time, showed any interest in me beyond what is required of them for the whole group to get along. But within a couple of months of asking her to marry me, not one but TWO of her friends started slinking around like housecats. I was flattered, and I definitely thought of her friends while we were in bed - but most of the time I just asked myself what the f*ck is wrong with women?

Married sex

/I am so pathetic it hurts

Why are people so afraid to get out of their marriages if they are so unhappy? Takes temporary effort to avoid life-long frustration.

HipsterHolocaust: I just asked myself what the f*ck is wrong with women?

They need to get stoned more often?

myalias1845: Oh. Then please continue.

you know how to find me

Mr. Right: Oh great. Just what the married man needs. Another venue in which to be forever wrong.

If a married man says something in the woods and there isn't a wife there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Yeah some one some where will hear it and blame him for being wrong

Snakeophelia: LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

You wouldn't believe how many married men are horndogs, either. At least around me.

And what's with spouses who quit having sex? I have several good friends around my age (40), of both genders, who have told me that their spouse has no interest in sex any more (and this is not related to health or childcare issues). It amazes me that anyone would have the nerve to stop having sex with their spouse, yet still expect their spouse to remain faithful to them and married to them. Did they not understand the "to love" part of the vows? It's appalling.

It is realllllly farked up trust me. It just stops and they think there is no problem and everything is cool. Spends more time making excuses

HipsterHolocaust: I once dated a girl for a couple of years before becoming engaged. None of her friends, in that time, showed any interest in me beyond what is required of them for the whole group to get along. But within a couple of months of asking her to marry me, not one but TWO of her friends started slinking around like housecats. I was flattered, and I definitely thought of her friends while we were in bed - but most of the time I just asked myself what the f*ck is wrong with women?


The interesting thing with that story is that you don't call her your wife. Or even your ex. no, "dated a girl". One of her "friends" succeeded in her come on?

I would venture to guess that its not married men per se that attracts women so much as men that are obviously willing to commit.

Those Clark University researchers are hot, asking questions like

Have you ever cheated on your spouse?
Would you like to now?
I mean right now!

//babes in labcoats, asking questions

The problem is basic. A man marries a woman hoping she will never change. A woman marries a man hoping he will change. Marriage doesn't have a chance from the start.

I've been dating the same man for 10 years, and no, we don't live together. We decided we liked each other too much to get married and fark it all up.

Snakeophelia: And what's with spouses who quit having sex?

For me it's a cycle. I get the whole "it takes me a while to get into the mood" routine, so I'll hint all day long I'm looking to see some nakedness, then it's suddenly 10:30, I've not been able to distract her from chores or whatever, I'm tired and I'm going to bed. This will go on for a few days, I'll finally get totally frustrated and just fap a few times, so my needs are handled. Then suddenly she's in the mood. I'm not, and in fact I'm a tad pissed off that I put a lot of effort into it earlier, got repeatedly shot down, and am now expected to put out. This leads to an arguement, I put out eventually anyway because otherwise I don't get any, wash, rinse, repeat. Been doing this for about eight years, it's no fun, but never been able to do much about it. Otherwise, great relationship.

It's simple, really:

Men: Be more attentive to your wife's needs
Women: Put down the farking ice cream and chocolate and quit nagging!!!

rolladuck: Yep, ME! Happily not (yet) married!

FAIL.

I'm happily married. Her boyfriend came and got her.

coco ebert: Is there anyone here happy in their marriage?

Yeah.

Of course, this is my second marriage, so I got all the b.s. worked out then.

calm like a bomb: Snakeophelia: And what's with spouses who quit having sex?

For me it's a cycle. I get the whole "it takes me a while to get into the mood" routine, so I'll hint all day long I'm looking to see some nakedness, then it's suddenly 10:30, I've not been able to distract her from chores or whatever, I'm tired and I'm going to bed. This will go on for a few days, I'll finally get totally frustrated and just fap a few times, so my needs are handled. Then suddenly she's in the mood. I'm not, and in fact I'm a tad pissed off that I put a lot of effort into it earlier, got repeatedly shot down, and am now expected to put out. This leads to an arguement, I put out eventually anyway because otherwise I don't get any, wash, rinse, repeat. Been doing this for about eight years, it's no fun, but never been able to do much about it. Otherwise, great relationship.

Wow, welcome to my life. She seems to think that when I try to have sex with her too much that that is all I want her for. We used to have porn star sex. Now it's like, "Eww, I just did that to impress you."

/sigh

/told her if I don't start getting blowjobs I'm going to find them from someone else

Snakeophelia: LaChanz: That's just not true. The best sex comes after marriage. You wouldn't believe how many women are turned on by a married man.

You wouldn't believe how many married men are horndogs, either. At least around me.

And what's with spouses who quit having sex? I have several good friends around my age (40), of both genders, who have told me that their spouse has no interest in sex any more (and this is not related to health or childcare issues). It amazes me that anyone would have the nerve to stop having sex with their spouse, yet still expect their spouse to remain faithful to them and married to them. Did they not understand the "to love" part of the vows? It's appalling.

It's never made any sense to me, either. To me, sexual fidelity and sexual access are two sides of the same coin.

coco ebert: Is there anyone here happy in their marriage?

I won't be a starry-eyed fool and claim it's perfect, but I still very much want her in my life. 20 years.

Snakeophelia: And what's with spouses who quit having sex? I have several good friends around my age (40), of both genders, who have told me that their spouse has no interest in sex any more (and this is not related to health or childcare issues). It amazes me that anyone would have the nerve to stop having sex with their spouse, yet still expect their spouse to remain faithful to them and married to them. Did they not understand the "to love" part of the vows? It's appalling.

No shiat.

HipsterHolocaust: Seriously...why is that? I once dated a girl for a couple of years before becoming engaged. None of her friends, in that time, showed any interest in me beyond what is required of them for the whole group to get along. But within a couple of months of asking her to marry me, not one but TWO of her friends started slinking around like housecats. I was flattered, and I definitely thought of her friends while we were in bed - but most of the time I just asked myself what the f*ck is wrong with women?

I have heard that a man who is ready to commit triggers a hormonal response in women that makes him more desirable.

I have never had as many offers as when I am spoken for. Women are farking morans.

Yep. I have never got hit on as much as now that I wear a ring. Even in front of my wife. We're talking obvious, "How YOU doin'?" right in front of her. I give her so much shiat about it.

But seriously it's ridiculous. I got married, and yes, I may have sex less and I may talk about how I'm going to go find what I want from someone else, but I committed to her for a reason. Go somewhere else.