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(Now Magazine)   Natalie Portman regrets moving back in with her parents. Subby offers her a room to stay in if she wants to escape them   (nowmagazine.co.uk) divider line 81
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6015 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Nov 2008 at 8:48 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-11-14 08:53:14 AM
Holy cripes, I'm right there with you subby.
 
2008-11-14 08:57:37 AM
Slam Dunkz: Holy cripes, I'm right there with you subby.

2 Farkers. 1 Portman.

That is an unpleasant mental image.
 
2008-11-14 08:59:03 AM
She can crash at my place too, if she wants.

No problem at all.


/ anyone know what kind of cereal she likes, I'm heading to the store after work
// yeah
 
2008-11-14 09:00:50 AM
Why the hell didn't she just buy a house and hire some staff? It's not like she's hurting for money.
 
2008-11-14 09:03:08 AM
FTA: 'I'm homeless at the moment so I am residing with my parents,' she tells The Sun. 'It's rough.

I'll have to agree with TheSignPost. WTH, you've made tons of money. Get off your mooching @ss and rent/buy a place.
 
2008-11-14 09:06:13 AM
The last time she was at my place:
episcopalifem.files.wordpress.com

TheSignPost - Golden Grahams. With a banana.
 
2008-11-14 09:10:55 AM
I've got room in the basement!
 
2008-11-14 09:28:44 AM
img171.imageshack.us

This fits. She enjoys dressing up in costumes and went to to the equivalent of half-a-decade-long convention.

She should only do rap from now on, sort of. She's a very earnest actress, and any material she's in should have some ironic distance, I think it helps her.

Imdb says one of her next is a Don Roos film. Sounds about right.
 
2008-11-14 09:34:55 AM
I'll take care of ya, honey. C'mon over.
 
2008-11-14 09:37:12 AM
Do you know who also offered her a room?

l.yimg.com
 
2008-11-14 09:37:45 AM
Is her mum making her clean the catbox and treating her like she was still in high school? Get out while you can Natalie!
 
2008-11-14 09:48:35 AM
On her mooching:

Possibly she's just having her home renovated at the moment. Just easier to stay with friends/family than shell out more to rent a place. Granted ,she does presumably have millions but still...

/she's staying with me damnit
 
2008-11-14 09:58:24 AM
Golden Grahams. With a banana.


Mmm, delicious.


Just easier to stay with friends/family than shell out more to rent a place.


Well, if that were the case, I'd still rent a place, and have friends over to stay for however many weeks/months I was waiting on the renovations.


/ a balloon on the mailbox is the universal symbol for PAARTY OVER HEE-RRRE
 
2008-11-14 09:59:19 AM
ErgosumDominati: On her mooching:


/she's staying with me damnit


Oh fark off! She's staying with me!

/prepares to fight other Farkers to the death
 
2008-11-14 10:05:00 AM
sorenz.dk

I kicked her out after I was done with her. Tell mom and dad I said hi.
 
2008-11-14 10:06:02 AM
I touched her once.

/in a train station, not a corridor
 
2008-11-14 10:10:16 AM
She will stay in the pit in my cellar. With teh lotion. For the skin.

//just trying to be a creepy farker so I fit in.
 
2008-11-14 10:15:19 AM
This is bad news.....for Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum

/got nothing
 
2008-11-14 10:32:42 AM
Sidecars are for biatches.

i2.photobucket.com


Dear God...The things I would do to her...yummy!
 
2008-11-14 10:36:46 AM
Meh. Her body is ok, but I get the feeling she's one of those, "get off my hair.", "You're doing it wrong", "Not now, I'm reading.", "stop masturbating to me while I watch TV", type of chicks.
 
2008-11-14 10:40:49 AM
Gunny Highway: Slam Dunkz: Holy cripes, I'm right there with you subby.

2 Farkers. 1 Portman.

That is an unpleasant mental image.


Because she'd be crushed to death. I doubt her small frame could handle 600 lbs of dead weight.
 
2008-11-14 10:41:20 AM
Heroic Poser: Meh. Her body is ok, but I get the feeling she's one of those, "get off my hair.", "You're doing it wrong", "Not now, I'm reading.", "stop masturbating to me while I watch TV", type of chicks.

Agreed. She's cute but I think pork has a better chance of getting into her mouth than a penis.
 
2008-11-14 10:43:59 AM
Poor Nat. I feel her pain.

I'm moving back in with my parents tomorrow.

Damn economy.
 
2008-11-14 10:49:04 AM
OriginallyDC: Poor Nat. I feel her pain.

Her pain is breaking my heart.
 
2008-11-14 10:53:21 AM
Good God, I would wear her like a feed bag...

/what?
 
2008-11-14 10:53:31 AM
Is she so retarded about her money that she has none left?

Or is she just co-dependent crazy, and she can't bear to be alone with her own thoughts?

Enquiring minds want to know.
 
2008-11-14 11:00:20 AM
Why would she want to move out of her parent's house just to move into your parent's house?
 
2008-11-14 11:04:56 AM
She can stay at my place but I will shave her head and make her read really long stories on toilet paper. Then I will let her go.
 
2008-11-14 11:24:43 AM
wow, um yeah, that sux,

/stayed at the 'rents for the last half of the summer...
 
2008-11-14 11:25:56 AM
propasaurus: Why would she want to move out of her parent's house just to move into your parent's house?

Listen asswipe. I've said it before and i'll say it again, it's not a basement, it's a COMMAND CENTER.
 
2008-11-14 11:27:17 AM
propasaurus: Why would she want to move out of her parent's house just to move into your parent's house?

WINNAH
 
2008-11-14 11:30:01 AM
Crude: Or is she just co-dependent crazy, and she can't bear to be alone with her own thoughts?

I'm betting on this, judging by the near-expressionless, dead look that seems to be on her face in damn near every picture I ever see of her. Plus she has the build of a 12 year old boy; an okay ass, but nothing up top, an her hips have barely spread. Sometimes a pretty face just isn't enough, and if you combine that with psycho... he just has "stay away" written all over her.

/I know this because I once dated a beautiful schizophrenic. The sex was awesome, until the anti-psychotics wore off, and I found the pill bottle :(
 
2008-11-14 11:31:36 AM
stupid d/s keys ... insert where missing.

yeah I know... "preview" is there for a reason (grumblegrumble)
 
2008-11-14 11:34:03 AM
thespindrifter: Plus she has the build of a 12 year old boy;

You say this like it's a bad thing.
 
2008-11-14 11:39:10 AM
thespindrifter: Plus she has the build of a 12 year old boy; an okay ass, but nothing up top,

She's got enough breasts to not think of a boy. I would wreck that chick in ways that my head would explode if I even began to understand what I was thinking.
 
2008-11-14 11:46:28 AM
moralpanic: Listen asswipe. I've said it before and i'll say it again, it's not a basement, it's a COMMAND CENTER.

OK, that is hilarious.
 
2008-11-14 11:46:29 AM
I would lick and eat her until my toungue fell off, then start using my fingers.
 
2008-11-14 11:52:39 AM
hot
 
2008-11-14 11:59:32 AM
thespindrifter: Plus she has the build of a 12 year old boy; an okay ass, but nothing up top

www.zombietime.com
ORLY?
 
2008-11-14 12:07:23 PM
Baelz, I'll be in my b... too late.

propasaurus, What would you like insribed on your trophy?
 
2008-11-14 12:11:37 PM
She's the top of my girlfriend's "celebrity I want to fark" list. Which means she's at the top of my "celebrity I want to watch fark my girlfriend" list.
 
2008-11-14 12:11:41 PM
Hillary looks like a deer caught in Natalie's headlights.
 
2008-11-14 12:19:52 PM
Mugato: Hillary looks like a deer caught in Natalie's headlights.

Wouldn't you?

/they'd need a sawzall to get my arm from around Ms. Portman...
 
2008-11-14 12:38:16 PM
I bet $100 right now she's a lousy lay.
 
2008-11-14 12:49:52 PM
I would jump all over her like an english teacher on a dangling participle.

/I wouldn't be dangling
//At least not for the first few minutes
 
2008-11-14 01:33:46 PM
michaeld5: Heroic Poser: Meh. Her body is ok, but I get the feeling she's one of those, "get off my hair.", "You're doing it wrong", "Not now, I'm reading.", "stop masturbating to me while I watch TV", type of chicks.


Jewish Princess alert! Attention Farkers: they don't have sex.
Move on to the next victim.


Now here's someone I could rough up!


Does she have a license for that chin?
 
2008-11-14 01:35:40 PM
PYROY: Gunny Highway: Slam Dunkz: Holy cripes, I'm right there with you subby.

2 Farkers. 1 Portman.

That is an unpleasant mental image.

Because she'd be crushed to death. I doubt her small frame could handle 600 lbs of dead weight.


Says the guy with disgusting cavities. Speak for yourself!

/185lbs
//Not fat
 
2008-11-14 01:37:58 PM
I'm sure my wife would understand if she moved in...

/been in the bunk a few times
//I'd break her in half
///up the middle...
 
2008-11-14 01:54:35 PM
See? Even Natalie Portman can't afford rent on Long Island!
 
2008-11-14 02:01:48 PM
You can never tell if she's choking on your jizz or speaking hebrew.
 
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