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( - CBS Sacramento)   Jury determines that Keanu Reeves is totally not heinous   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

2545 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Nov 2008 at 8:35 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

18 Comments     (+0 »)
2008-11-03 08:23:30 PM  
Subby: Jury determines that Keanu Reeves is totally not non heinous

FTFY subby!
2008-11-03 08:41:41 PM  
69, dude!
2008-11-03 08:42:43 PM  
2008-11-03 08:43:18 PM  
bogus dude.
2008-11-03 08:52:11 PM  
He doesn't owe a paparazzo who sued him a dime.

Why would someone sue him for a dime?
2008-11-03 08:59:30 PM  

Over the course of five days, jurors heard how Silva gave contradictory statements about what happened and even saw a video of the celeb shooter using his supposedly damaged hand to scale down a chain link fence after getting video of Britney Spears.

Bwahahaha!!! I'm glad this piece of human garbage isn't getting his free ride.
2008-11-03 09:26:11 PM  
Was the hero tag on vacation?
2008-11-03 09:39:48 PM  

/had to do it.
2008-11-03 09:58:08 PM  
Jury determines that paparazzos deserve to be hit by cars.

/would have voted the same
2008-11-03 10:49:10 PM  
Erm. Why is this "Unlikely"?
2008-11-03 11:06:01 PM  
I think Keanu Reeves is awesome; I've had a crush on him since he was a pup, or whenver he was in some movie that I saw, whichever one that was. And I totally forgive him for the Matrix series.

And paparazzi suck. They should all be arrested for stalking.
2008-11-03 11:32:24 PM  
Alison Silva

"Alison...I know these cars are hittin' you...
Oh, Alison....
Their aim ain't true."

/Apologies to Elvis Costello
//Whoa! Dude, change your name! It's bogus!

2008-11-03 11:52:39 PM  
Did anyone else hear Keanu's Devil's Advocate lawyer voice when reading that?
2008-11-04 12:25:33 AM  
Its gotta be that way
2008-11-04 12:53:53 AM  

/air guitar
2008-11-04 03:24:55 AM  
Yeah, but he still needs to be put through a wood shredder feet first.
2008-11-04 05:18:43 AM  
I remember watching the E Channel for the first time years ago (not American, hardly watch TV anyway) and it was some camera crew following Mr Reeve's through LA with some fake voiced retard's snide commentary recorded over it.

He was on a new motorbike and had a bit of trouble starting it and the voiceover was like: "looks like tough man Keanu can't start his bike!!"
Then he got an ice cream and the voiceover was going: "doesn't look much of an action star with an ice cream! Careful you don't spill any!"
Then he asked a stranger for some suncream and... "hard man Keanu isn't so hard now, he's afraid of getting a little sun"

As far as i could tell from the television times this "documentary" went on for at least 20 minutes and was followed up by exposés of other stars asking to be left alone.

I turned off the television and sat puzzled at human culture for a minute then went and got a bit drunk with my friends.
If my mundane life had a camera crew and some sleazy production team documenting I'd honestly shoot them. Life's hard enough without some camp soulless pervert sneering when you buy a snack.
If the star doesn't court this kind of attention (Paris et al) well then leave them be.
2008-11-04 08:35:26 AM  

felixecho: Did anyone else hear Keanu's Devil's Advocate lawyer voice when reading that?

Since when does he have more than one voice? The guy sounds like Ted in everything he does.
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