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Headlines of the Week, October 27 - November 2 
Posted by Drew at 2008-11-03 12:11:07 PM, edited 2009-01-19 4:10:35 AM (44 comments) | Permalink
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18317 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2008 at 1:58 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



This went over really well last week, which was great to see, considering that two News Flashes hit the main page just after the Headline of the Week thread. It'll be interesting to see the reaction this week. Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something. Although actually, those would be great too. Have I mentioned I can't wait for this election to be over?

Headlines of the Week, October 27 - November 2, 2008

Scientists find 3,000-year-old Hebrew text, the oldest ever found in Israel -- five lines of text in which a mom asks her son why he never visits anymore

Military families are concerned about the poor salaries paid to new recruits which are barely above minimum wage. It's all very well for the sergeants and the corporals, but it's a nasty blow to the privates

U.S. Army thinks terrorists will use Twitter to coordinate attack. "8:01 - finished making bomb, 8:10 - Eating bowl of Captain Crunch, Allah I love this stuff, 9:15 - Strapped bomb to chest, ready to go through security, 9:17 - UFIA"

Egyptian couple busted in Cairo for hosting swingers' party. At least it wasn't another one of their pyramid schemes

Dogs's ear emits radio signals. You can't be sirius

Crime spree in SF area cemetery -- thousands dead

Man invents new exercise called "laughter yoga," or as your wife refers to it, sex

Car slams into Starbucks, two hurt; backs up, hits another Starbucks

Serial lingerie thief makes fourth huge snatch. Officials hope for big bust soon

Thousands flee violence in the Congo. With pic of the most disorganized Congo line ever

Top Headline for each tab:

Sports:
Fifteen University of North Texas football players fail drug tests. Based on their 0-8 record, they clearly weren't performance enhancing

Sidney Crosby sidelined with "mystery" injury. It's just that there was no box for "vagina" on the form to check off

The New Orleans Saints would like it to be known that the kicker and punter who replaced the ones who were sacked earlier in the season have been sacked, will be replaced with llamas

Business:
If you had Ukraine as the next country to need an emergency bailout from the IMF, step up and collect your free whatever the hell Ukraine makes

Ford Motor execs stop huffing glue long enough to announce they are hiring 1,000 workers to meet an anticipated demand for the new F-150 pickup truck, bet on the Lions in the Superbowl

"Communications majors have some of the same skill sets as English majors and often compete for similar jobs." Would you like an apple pie with that?

Geek:
Teenagers found to be "dumber than a generation ago." Feel free to talk about them here. It's not like they can read

DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes in page views .. [auto-refresh] .. DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes in page views .. [auto-refresh] .. DRUDGE surpasses NYTimes

Man's first barbecue was 790,000 years ago. And yet, we still debate the "Eight buns per pack/10 hot dogs per pack" dilemma

Showbiz:
Peter Frampton is upset that his Obama signs were stolen from his front yard. Waa... waa waa waa waa waa

"Deep Throat" director dead, mourners all choked up

"Saw" is now the top grossing horror franchise of all time, beating out Freddy, Jason, and the Bush family

Politics:
Yes or no: Should not the disallowance of use of misdirecting language not be used to confuse Michigan voters on whether or not to disallow the ban on alcohol sales on Sunday?

Good looks help women candidates more than men. Guiliani once again seen sizing dresses, buying lip liner

Pennsylvania likely going to Obama, while Florida too close to call, as volunteers feverishly decorate voting forms with macaroni art and glitter


(Music and Video headlines are not included)
· · ·
(view entire blog)


44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2008-11-03 12:21:51 PM  
Wow, I bet any one of them would make a fantastic T-shirt. If only there was a way.
 
2008-11-03 12:22:11 PM  
Here was the previous thread, from the week of October 20
 
2008-11-03 12:24:12 PM  
Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something.

Uhh... what?
 
2008-11-03 12:30:27 PM  
This headline sucks
 
2008-11-03 12:31:32 PM  
Unfreakable: Here was the previous thread, from the week of October 20

I have an idea to go along with this that may or may not work (yeah, FarkBack, I know). How about a single link in the side bar to provide access to previous weeks? Right now there's only two, but that will obviously expand pretty quickly (almost a link a week, even). If not the link, some other easier way to get to them.

Just a thought.
 
2008-11-03 12:36:40 PM  
Whoa - I had no idea we started to do this. Sweet.
 
2008-11-03 12:37:57 PM  
Could have sworn one of mine would have been in the running. Ah, well.

*sobs*
 
2008-11-03 12:41:05 PM  
Demetrius: I have an idea to go along with this that may or may not work (yeah, FarkBack, I know). How about a single link in the side bar to provide access to previous weeks? Right now there's only two, but that will obviously expand pretty quickly (almost a link a week, even). If not the link, some other easier way to get to them.

I'm not one of the root admins (I couldn't code my way out of a paper bag), but I asked for something similar at the bottom of the page, which I think has been updated and will show up on this page at the top of the hour.
 
2008-11-03 12:52:39 PM  
Unfreakable: Demetrius: I have an idea to go along with this that may or may not work (yeah, FarkBack, I know). How about a single link in the side bar to provide access to previous weeks? Right now there's only two, but that will obviously expand pretty quickly (almost a link a week, even). If not the link, some other easier way to get to them.

I'm not one of the root admins (I couldn't code my way out of a paper bag), but I asked for something similar at the bottom of the page, which I think has been updated and will show up on this page at the top of the hour.


Awesome!
 
2008-11-03 12:59:28 PM  
What? The top two voted headlines were making fun of a baby with Down Syndrome, and neither of those make it?

i98.photobucket.com

That's not change we can believe in, Drew.
 
2008-11-03 01:21:36 PM  
Stoj: What? The top two voted headlines were making fun of a baby with Down Syndrome, and neither of those make it?

Site Friends, etc. etc.
 
2008-11-03 01:27:18 PM  
jaylectricity: Site Friends, etc. etc.

Unlikely.
 
2008-11-03 01:37:42 PM  
I submitted all of those the day before with better headlines.
 
2008-11-03 01:42:49 PM  
I Said: This headline sucks

Yeah. How the hell did this crap get greenlit?
 
2008-11-03 02:01:45 PM  

Pennsylvania likely going to Obama, while Florida too close to call, as volunteers feverishly decorate voting forms with macaroni art and glitter


This one took me a moment, but when I got it, it made me smile.

Eleventy for subby, with some milk and cookies and hugs for Jewish grandmothers.
 
2008-11-03 02:02:04 PM  
Jew joke in the first headline was laaame. That joke made a 360 from lame back to lame recently. "Take my wife, please" should be retro-fresh for a few more years (months?) though.
 
2008-11-03 02:02:33 PM  
Yeah! October wins!
 
2008-11-03 02:03:51 PM  
Headlines of the Week, October 27 - November 2, 2008
by Drew Curtis

This went over really well last week, which was great to see, considering that two News Flashes hit the main page just after the Headline of the Week thread. It'll be interesting to see the reaction this week. Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something. Although actually, those would be great too. Have I mentioned I can't wait for this election to be over?


Source or it's a lie!
 
2008-11-03 02:05:51 PM  
Lionel Mandrake: I Said: This headline sucks

Yeah. How the hell did this crap get greenlit?


Hey, at least we can get it on a shirt to celebrate it and remember forever that time that "Headlines of the Week, October 27 - November 2" showed up on our screens.

/At least with that t-shirt, unlike any others you'd get from here, you wouldn't have to explain what it meant
 
2008-11-03 02:07:27 PM  
The Starbucks one killed me - missed that one last week. Subby +1 frappe!
 
2008-11-03 02:17:07 PM  
REPEAT
 
2008-11-03 02:22:33 PM  
Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something.

Honkbag?
 
2008-11-03 02:24:07 PM  
crypticsatellite: Could have sworn one of mine would have been in the running. Ah, well.

*sobs*


I'm very excited one of my headlines made it. I can't reveal which one, for fear of jinxing my "Headline of the Year" chances. Suffice to say as a Liter so many of my golden headlines get passed over, wonderful to actually get some recognition.

/I may only have 31 greens, but I'm very proud of my greenlight rate of ~25%
 
2008-11-03 02:27:49 PM  
Slow news day?
 
2008-11-03 02:34:58 PM  
Stoj: What? The top two voted headlines were making fun of a baby with Down Syndrome, and neither of those make it?



That's not change we can believe in, Drew.


I thought that top one should have made it.
 
2008-11-03 02:38:44 PM  
dennysgod: Stoj: What? The top two voted headlines were making fun of a baby with Down Syndrome, and neither of those make it?



That's not change we can believe in, Drew.

I thought that top one should have made it.


Agreed. I'm considering T-Shirting that one.
 
2008-11-03 02:40:55 PM  
Who the hell is this Drew Curtis?! Sure, Wil, he's a big time movie star, but this Curtis guy? Which one of the Farkmins has got the crush on him?
 
2008-11-03 02:41:16 PM  
Oh, neato.
Hey, Fnord, when are you updating Farkit?
 
2008-11-03 02:50:12 PM  
Howsabout Headlines of the Weak?
 
2008-11-03 03:00:45 PM  
As twisted as this headline is it should have been in there:

[Politics] Palin kids wear costumes to rally. Trig dresses up as the Republican Party--an elephant with down syndrome
 
2008-11-03 03:05:08 PM  
Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose arse

That sounds more believable.

/gettin' old voters to the polls faster
 
2008-11-03 03:05:22 PM  
If you change the address in the URL to next week's dates, you can read the top links for next week!
http://www.fark.com/2008/misc/HeadlinesOfTheWeek_11-03_11-09.shtml
 
2008-11-03 03:09:11 PM  
absoluteparanoia: Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something.

Personally, I figure that if Palin is going to pull a beaded string out of somewhere, it WON'T be her nose.
 
2008-11-03 03:10:25 PM  
This Is Bold Text: If you change the address in the URL to next week's dates, you can read the top links for next week!
http://www.fark.com/2008/misc/HeadlinesOfTheWeek_11-03_11-09.shtml


RickRolls are always funny

/at least when you know they are coming
//and turned off the sound
///First slashies!
 
2008-11-03 03:10:34 PM  
This Is Bold Text: If you change the address in the URL to next week's dates, you can read the top links for next week!
http://www.fark.com/2008/misc/HeadlinesOfTheWeek_11-03_11-09.shtml


I rol'd
 
2008-11-03 03:10:41 PM  
I just read the "generation is dumber" headline to my teen-aged chorus class. They didn't get it.

/Glad I'm not an English teacher.
//Try to teach them anyway.
 
2008-11-03 03:11:14 PM  
This Is Bold Text: If you change the address in the URL to next week's dates, you can read the top links for next week!
http://www.fark.com/2008/misc/HeadlinesOfTheWeek_11-03_11-09.shtml


I can't believe I fell for that.
 
2008-11-03 03:12:21 PM  
are these Fark Lite only, or TF included? i dont remember some of these
 
2008-11-03 03:13:34 PM  
This Is Bold Text: If you change the address in the URL to next week's dates, you can read the top links for next week!
http://www.fark.com/2008/misc/HeadlinesOfTheWeek_11-03_11-09.shtml


*sakes tiny fist*
 
2008-11-03 03:15:41 PM  
Qatmandu: Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something.

Honkbag?


That is one of my favorite threads ever.
 
2008-11-03 03:26:45 PM  
ferfer72: I just read the "generation is dumber" headline to my teen-aged chorus class. They didn't get it.

Maybe if you and two other people read it, together.
 
2008-11-03 03:48:55 PM  
What? no "Palin kids wear costumes to rally. Trig dresses up as the Republican Party--an elephant with down syndrome"

RECOUNT!

/yes i know, im going to hell
//If i have to say this again this week I will be a very sad panda.
 
2008-11-03 03:50:32 PM  
absoluteparanoia: Drew: Hopefully Palin doesn't pull a beaded string from her nose or Obama slips and uses the "H" word or something.

Uhh... what?


Her?
 
2008-11-03 04:09:21 PM  
Uses best Ross Perot voice, Hell, I lahk it!
 
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