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(New Scientist)   How vampires evolved to live on blood alone   (newscientist.com) divider line 35
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7732 clicks; posted to Geek » on 31 Oct 2008 at 1:51 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-10-30 09:10:47 PM  
The kine have such silly ideas some times.
 
2008-10-31 12:14:18 AM  
And a happy Halloween to everyone....
 
2008-10-31 12:48:38 AM  
Is this an evolution thread, a Halloween thread, or a vampire geek thread? I need to know which troll to post.
 
2008-10-31 01:00:16 AM  
Does it say why they chose to be gay and wear Victorian puffy shirts?
 
2008-10-31 02:02:48 AM  
Do we really need a bunch of Tremere, Ventrue, and Malkavians, and their ilk running around? I guess the Toreador would be ok, but still, all that scheming and plotting would just suck.

/Happy Halloween everybody
 
2008-10-31 02:15:11 AM  
www.thecolumnists.com
 
2008-10-31 02:20:14 AM  
jenniferwillow: Do we really need a bunch of Tremere, Ventrue, and Malkavians, and their ilk running around? I guess the Toreador would be ok, but still, all that scheming and plotting would just suck.

/Happy Halloween everybody


The Toreador are pussies! Long live the Tzimisce!

/such a geek
 
2008-10-31 02:28:21 AM  
What about reverse vampires?
 
2008-10-31 02:39:23 AM  
Well...

Given their other bodily fluid choices I'm not too surprised that they stuck with blood.

Blood is life, lack-brain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead.

Best explanation I can come up with without RTFA. It's not too obscure, is it?
 
2008-10-31 03:11:29 AM  
FTA: "Once you're pulling insects off of a mammal, it's a very small step to going after the blood," he says.

You don't need to tell me brother.
 
2008-10-31 03:19:14 AM  
The baby the cats THEN me: Well...

Given their other bodily fluid choices I'm not too surprised that they stuck with blood.

Blood is life, lack-brain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead.

Best explanation I can come up with without RTFA. It's not too obscure, is it?


That's not even close to obscure. That's like the opposite or something.
 
2008-10-31 03:30:43 AM  
Yea. My bad. Soon as I posted, I thought "Ummm... yea, not even close to obscure." But the damage was done.
 
2008-10-31 03:41:00 AM  
The baby the cats THEN me: Yea. My bad. Soon as I posted, I thought "Ummm... yea, not even close to obscure." But the damage was done.

Well, look at the bright side. It's a whole lot better than getting the crap beat out of you only to find out that the cup was filled with Mountain Dew the whole time. Right?
 
2008-10-31 03:43:46 AM  
I saw a Discovery (or some equivalent) video on the amount of nutrition actually in blood. It said the energy density is so low that the vampire bat's digestive tract/kidneys process the intake in almost real-time.

The video showed a bat drinking from a cup of blood, and it started peeing within a few seconds of drinking, and kept peeing the whole time. Dracula (and modern RPers) seems a whole lot less dignified and stately when you imagine him pissing his pants as soon as he starts drinking a girl's blood.

Maybe they wear a Texas Catheter into a leg pouch or something to preserve a scrap of dignity and cut back on the tuxedo dry-cleaning costs.
 
2008-10-31 04:12:20 AM  
jenniferwillow: Malkavians

One day the crunchy pastry will arise and wash the world in blood, until then we will strive to enlighten our lesser cousins to the world around them. I mean, can't you see the rotting complete breakfast that is the world? Can't you see? No, you are unable to see, just like poor Janet was unable to see the delicious smorgasbord that was the breakfast table, I tried to enlighten her. "I had Reese's for breakfast" I said. She was like "Candy? For breakfast?" But she couldn't realize the amazing taste and peanut butter and chocolaty goodness that is Reese's Puffs cereal. She either refused to believe or was blinded by her own insistence that it was lunch time. I sat back and ate a large bowl of Reese's cereal. It's candy, for breakfast!
 
2008-10-31 04:58:39 AM  
susansto-helit: jenniferwillow: Do we really need a bunch of Tremere, Ventrue, and Malkavians, and their ilk running around? I guess the Toreador would be ok, but still, all that scheming and plotting would just suck.

/Happy Halloween everybody

The Toreador are pussies! Long live the Tzimisce!

/such a geek


As long as it's the old-clan noble Tzimisce. The Sabbat-we-love-body-mods-and-fire style of the younger offshoot? Yeah, they can take a noon stroll.

Same to toreador. Puffy shirts, DeviantArt, and angst? To hell with that.

/Assamite Vizier.
//Never see 'em coming.
 
2008-10-31 08:50:49 AM  
yarnothuntin: What about reverse vampires?

You know what's worse than reverse vampires? Reverse vampires that are LISP programmers. That's right, Reverse polish notation vampires!
 
2008-10-31 09:03:12 AM  
The "scary picture" slideshow at the right is pretty cool. The Eye of Fomalhaut has been my desktop background for the past month.
 
2008-10-31 09:20:15 AM  
 
2008-10-31 09:55:54 AM  
Dr Archeville: Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

that's pretty cool

may bother checking out his books
 
2008-10-31 10:01:46 AM  
What_Would_Jimi_Do

That miniseries freaked me the fark out when it was on tv (I was young, 8 or 9). It was on tv Sunday night, and STILL scared the pants off me. I couldn't sleep until 4 am.
 
2008-10-31 11:22:47 AM  
Dr Archeville: Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

Damnit beat me to it!

Open_Mouth_Inert_Foot: Dr Archeville: Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

that's pretty cool

may bother checking out his books


I recommend it frequently, and if you want a preview you can read the whole book for free as either HTML or PDF from his website because he published it under a Creative Commons license originally. If you like what you read get the book.

Very cool stuff if you like some pretty grounded scientific musing on what really alien life would be like, game theory, questions about consciousness, etc.
 
2008-10-31 12:16:45 PM  
Jubeebee: Is this an evolution thread, a Halloween thread, or a vampire geek thread? I need to know which troll to post.

Evolutionism is the lolita-lace nerd girls use to keep scary neighbors out of their candy bags.
 
2008-10-31 12:20:51 PM  
Jubeebee: Is this an evolution thread, a Halloween thread, or a vampire geek thread? I need to know which troll to post.

Go for all three.
 
2008-10-31 12:23:55 PM  
susansto-helit: jenniferwillow: Do we really need a bunch of Tremere, Ventrue, and Malkavians, and their ilk running around? I guess the Toreador would be ok, but still, all that scheming and plotting would just suck.

/Happy Halloween everybody

The Toreador are pussies! Long live the Tzimisce!

/such a geek


Between that post and your username, you "win" the Gilt Pocket Protector of Eternal Chastity.
 
2008-10-31 12:28:27 PM  
Dr Archeville:
Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

I'm reading "Blindsight" right now... and loving it.
 
2008-10-31 12:41:07 PM  
Bah, Vampires are nothing more then jumped Zombies with delusions of grandour. Shoot them in the head till they stop moveing then burn the bodies, works every time.
 
2008-10-31 12:54:13 PM  
No Such Agency: Dr Archeville:
Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

I'm reading "Blindsight" right now... and loving it.


You mean, they're NOT obligate cannibals with a protein deficiency?

/Blindsight kept me up nights
//not scared, just COULDN'T STOP READING IT.
 
2008-10-31 01:44:14 PM  
jenniferwillow: Do we really need a bunch of Tremere, Ventrue, and Malkavians, and their ilk running around? I guess the Toreador would be ok, but still, all that scheming and plotting would just suck.

/Happy Halloween everybody


Aw, but the Malks keep things interesting. Plus what they know keeps people on their toes
 
2008-10-31 01:53:36 PM  
No Such Agency: Dr Archeville:
Vampire Domestication, by FizerPharm (new window)

I'm reading "Blindsight" right now... and loving it.


Awesome :)

bicentennialman: You mean, they're NOT obligate cannibals with a protein deficiency?

/Blindsight kept me up nights
//not scared, just COULDN'T STOP READING IT.


I know what you mean, I did the same thing even on re-reads.
 
2008-10-31 03:08:19 PM  
I read that as "How vampires evolved to live on blood and urine"
 
2008-10-31 03:30:55 PM  
Since semen has more protein then blood, why do vampires suck blood?
 
2008-10-31 06:13:11 PM  
ninjakirby: Evolutionism is the lolita-lace nerd girls use to keep scary neighbors out of their candy bags.

I'll be getting into a nerd girl's candy bag tonight, so I'm getting a real kick...
 
2008-10-31 08:32:30 PM  
msw-mojo: Since semen has more protein then blood, why do vampires suck blood?

Thats what I keep telling those Goth Chicks.
 
2008-11-01 02:44:08 AM  
Psssh, Nagash didn't need evolution to become a vampire.
 
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