FARK.com: (3982345) The long, storied tradition of neckbeards in photos. Bonus points for Sadaam's neckbeard

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		The long, storied tradition of neckbeards in photos. Bonus points for Sadaam's neckbeard (newsday.com)		84
		More: Asinine

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15432 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2008 at 12:10 PM | Favorite | share:

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Our Man in Nirvana		2008-10-30 09:07:38 AM

WTF is a neckbeard?? It's a farking beard!

Dread Pirate Slasher		2008-10-30 09:13:33 AM

Unimpressed:

img88.imageshack.us

SushiJoe		2008-10-30 09:21:31 AM

disgusting and uncooth

Our Man in Nirvana		2008-10-30 09:22:59 AM

SushiJoe: disgusting and uncooth

You're just jealous.

MaxxLarge		2008-10-30 09:31:29 AM

Our Man in Nirvana: WTF is a neckbeard?? It's a farking beard!

A neckbeard is a beard which, in total or in part, transcends the normally-accepted beard-border of the jawline to the south. Any beard that threatens to connect with the chest hair, whether it also covers portions of the upper face or not, qualifies as a neckbeard. A TRUE neckbeard, like the one Thoreau is sporting in that slideshow, is rare. This version covers JUST the neck, and stops SOUTH of the jawline going up.

It's a common technique used by middle-aged men to conceal wattles, or blubbery pelican-pouches. This is not to be confused with the Bloatee (new window), which is when a man of gravity tries to distinguish his neck from his face by arbitrarily shaping his facial hair along a jawline that more or less doesn't exist, due to being lost under chub.

Hope that helps.

SushiJoe		2008-10-30 09:44:04 AM

Our Man in Nirvana: SushiJoe: disgusting and uncooth

You're just jealous.

dirty hippy

snuff3r		2008-10-30 09:53:05 AM

Finally, i have a winning design just in time for Movember - the trucker attached to a neck beard.

/expects divorce papers soon after

Our Man in Nirvana		2008-10-30 09:55:35 AM

MaxxLarge: Hope that helps.

My beard connects with my toe hair.

/HTH

jaylectricity		2008-10-30 10:02:30 AM

MaxxLarge: Hope that helps.

Maybe if you linked to a real one instead of a cartoon caricature of some kind of bear with one.

brap		2008-10-30 10:51:36 AM

I knew a guy that sported a thick "Ramses" style beard that originated in his adam's apple.

He was an intense dude.

MaxxLarge		2008-10-30 11:08:18 AM

jaylectricity: Maybe if you linked to a real one instead of a cartoon caricature of some kind of bear with one.

"Some kind of bear?" Wow. I'm legitimately sorry that nobody's apparently exposed you to the subtle genius of Achewood prior to now. Easily the best-written webcomic online, an the one with the most well-defined characters. It's really worth spending some time getting to know, even if you're not usually into webcomics.

jaylectricity		2008-10-30 11:15:35 AM

MaxxLarge: jaylectricity: Maybe if you linked to a real one instead of a cartoon caricature of some kind of bear with one.

"Some kind of bear?" Wow. I'm legitimately sorry that nobody's apparently exposed you to the subtle genius of Achewood prior to now. Easily the best-written webcomic online, an the one with the most well-defined characters. It's really worth spending some time getting to know, even if you're not usually into webcomics.

You don't have to get all hurt because I don't read comic strips. I was hoping for a picture of one of those bloatees because I want to know if I'm wearing one. In the drawing it looked like a circle around his mouth.

/what kind of animal was he anyway?

Barakku		2008-10-30 12:13:42 PM

SushiJoe: disgusting and uncooth

I find my beard rather cooth, actually, sir, and I'd rather you took note of it.

chaddsfarkprefect		2008-10-30 12:15:29 PM

Dennis Miller? Steven Wright? Bea Arthur?

TheShavingofOccam123		2008-10-30 12:15:39 PM

You either have a beard or you don't have a beard.

If you are trimming, plucking, shaving around the edges, cutting in patterns, you don't have a beard. You have a hobby.

If I don't comb my hair--and I don't because it comes from a long line of curly-haired Irish and Scots--then why on earth would I work on my beard?

It is what it is.

katerbug72		2008-10-30 12:15:46 PM

A neckbeard is referred to as a NEARD in my family. My brother has one, it goes with his WUSSTACHE.

ultraholland		2008-10-30 12:17:05 PM

SushiJoe: disgusting and uncooth

Says the guy with a cute little trimmed goatee and the flavor-saver.

mikebellman		2008-10-30 12:17:56 PM

Juden! Ruben Wier Schmutzen auf deine assneck

Samsaran		2008-10-30 12:17:59 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: If you are trimming, plucking, shaving around the edges, cutting in patterns, you don't have a beard. You have a hobby.

Awesome.

Gonad the Ballbarian		2008-10-30 12:19:12 PM

/unimpressed

666death		2008-10-30 12:21:15 PM

I'm currently sporting a neckbeard, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

BlorfMaster		2008-10-30 12:21:55 PM

This guy's neckbeard is why, as a redhead, i never grew a beard, because that is what i was afraid it would come out looking like.

www.courtneygains.net

astro716		2008-10-30 12:21:55 PM

katerbug72: A neckbeard is referred to as a NEARD in my family. My brother has one, it goes with his WUSSTACHE.

Is that related to the pubescent version, the CRUSTACHE?

asurferosa		2008-10-30 12:22:09 PM

Why in the heck was this greenlighted?

/have a foot-long beard
//very curly and only looks six inches
///let the manhood jokes fly...

DaScribbler		2008-10-30 12:23:00 PM

ugh ... I don't know how those guys deal with it.

if I go a day or two without shaving my neck I can't stop itching.

Spazzattack		2008-10-30 12:23:40 PM

As opposed to the...what? Forehead Beard? Where else do beards grow other than your neck and face?

H_is_for_Heretic		2008-10-30 12:23:52 PM

Actual bearded woman

www.communityarts.net

it isn't glued on- NSFW (new window)

katerbug72		2008-10-30 12:25:12 PM

astro716: CRUSTACHE

Hmm, not sure. Is a crustache one that's not quite filled in properly even though you're a 37 year old man?

katerbug72		2008-10-30 12:27:01 PM

H_is_for_Heretic: Actual bearded woman

Goddamn, she looks like Vincent Schiavelli.

nashBridges		2008-10-30 12:27:15 PM

DaScribbler: if I go a day or two without shaving my neck I can't stop itching.

You have to let it go for a while. My facial hair grows damn slow, but after about two weeks it's not so irritating.

My wife hates it, though. It comes in bushy and soft like pubic hair, and my pleas for her to "think of my nose as my penis" are lost on her. The food trapping also grosses her out a little.

mightybaldking		2008-10-30 12:28:57 PM

I only see one neckbeard their, and it was Clooney.

A neck beard is beard that grows on the neck.

Maxxlarge incorrectly asserts:
A neckbeard is a beard which, in total or in part, transcends the normally-accepted beard-border of the jawline to the south

The jawline is not the accepted beard border. That would involve leaving the underside of the chin and jowls uncovered. -- Much like the Jersey Douchebag picture that Gonad the Barbarian posted.

The accepted beard-neck boundary is the inner curve above the Adam's apple following to just in front of the earlobe.

mightybaldking		2008-10-30 12:29:37 PM

s/their/there/

javery		2008-10-30 12:30:59 PM

I can kind of see a special name such as 'neckbeard' being applied to Thoreau since it appears that his beard is not on his jaw but starts further back, but as for the others, that seems ridiculous. If it is on the jaw, it's just a regular beard.

flaming99		2008-10-30 12:39:38 PM

javery: I can kind of see a special name such as 'neckbeard' being applied to Thoreau since it appears that his beard is not on his jaw but starts further back, but as for the others, that seems ridiculous. If it is on the jaw, it's just a regular beard.

The kid in the first three pictures is obviously trying to grow a full beard but can't fill it in on his face. This is a common trait among all the men in my family. I tried to grow a full beard in my twenties but everyone told me it looked like a chin strap because it would never fill in on my cheeks. Now that I am in my mid-thirties I can grow a respectable beard but I get to watch my 22-year old brother sport the same chin strap - pretty comical now that the years have brought perspective.

fedexrico		2008-10-30 12:39:44 PM

DaScribbler: ugh ... I don't know how those guys deal with it.

if I go a day or two without shaving my neck I can't stop itching.

it stops itching after a short while with it

how is babby formed		2008-10-30 12:39:45 PM

moar funny pictures

Vorpal		2008-10-30 12:41:49 PM

Good pirate names: Blackbeard, Redbeard
Bad pirate names: Neckbeard, Percy

rudyjenkins		2008-10-30 12:43:42 PM

BlorfMaster: This guy's neckbeard is why, as a redhead, i never grew a beard, because that is what i was afraid it would come out looking like.

came 'ith da frame.

tracer03		2008-10-30 12:44:23 PM

sxacho		2008-10-30 12:45:30 PM

You all can biatch about this as much as you want but keep this fact in mind. If this was never submitted, you couldn't get the headline on your very own Fark t-shirt now could you?

aesc		2008-10-30 12:47:09 PM

Our Man in Nirvana: WTF is a neckbeard?? It's a farking beard!

THIS

Why this particular generation feels the need to name everything is a bit strange to me. I lived in the 80s and no one called it a "mullet". It was just a haircut.

/get out of my yard

rikkitikkitavi		2008-10-30 12:48:28 PM

None of those are "neck beards" except for #5 Theoreau and #6 Wagner. The rest are just beards, although not very neatly trimmed, which is a matter of style or choice.

Pitt, Clooney, Orton and Damon just have big, bushy beards. As do I.

baby_hewey		2008-10-30 12:49:27 PM

aesc
Why this particular generation feels the need to name everything is a bit strange to me. I lived in the 80s and no one called it a "mullet". It was just a bad haircut.

I fixed that for me.

michaeld5		2008-10-30 12:50:17 PM

Ben Roethlisberger had ya'll beat.

assets.espn.go.com

free_daedalus		2008-10-30 12:50:56 PM

Beard thread!

rudyjenkins		2008-10-30 12:51:34 PM

baby_hewey

awww.

TwistedJRob		2008-10-30 12:52:11 PM

jaylectricity: MaxxLarge: jaylectricity: Maybe if you linked to a real one instead of a cartoon caricature of some kind of bear with one.

"Some kind of bear?" Wow. I'm legitimately sorry that nobody's apparently exposed you to the subtle genius of Achewood prior to now. Easily the best-written webcomic online, an the one with the most well-defined characters. It's really worth spending some time getting to know, even if you're not usually into webcomics.

You don't have to get all hurt because I don't read comic strips. I was hoping for a picture of one of those bloatees because I want to know if I'm wearing one. In the drawing it looked like a circle around his mouth.

/what kind of animal was he anyway?

manolomen.com