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(Metro)   You don't want to go through with a wedding, especially as you're already married to someone else, so being the rational person you are, you: C) Set fire to the hotel where the wedding was to take place   (metro.co.uk) divider line 55
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5561 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Oct 2008 at 3:12 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-10-27 01:42:48 PM  
Totally C. That was my choice this morning! I heart multiple choice.

So you don't want to marry her? Do you: (a)Sit her down and explain that you've fallen out of love, (b)Run away and hide at the last minute, or (c)Burn down the wedding venue?
 
2008-10-27 03:15:12 PM  
why is C) always massive property damage and/or jail time?
 
2008-10-27 03:16:32 PM  
rations for all
 
2008-10-27 03:16:40 PM  
Thisbymaster: why is C) always massive property damage and/or jail time?

because A's and B's never make Fark.
 
2008-10-27 03:17:23 PM  
Thisbymaster: why is C) always massive property damage and/or jail time?

it is in the FARK handbook

/under the gold huffing paragraph
 
2008-10-27 03:18:08 PM  
When I heard this story on the radio, I imagined myself typing, "it's always 'c)'" at some point during the day.
 
zz9
2008-10-27 03:19:06 PM  
Come on, we've all done it.
 
2008-10-27 03:19:11 PM  
Best. Stock. Photo. Ever!
 
2008-10-27 03:21:19 PM  
cheaper than a divorce
 
2008-10-27 03:21:29 PM  
When did headline writers got so lazy!
Back in my day, a multiple choice headline would have an A) B) C) and sometimes D) option.


You kids today, with your MTV2 and your High speed internets!

I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap...

/Stay off my lawn!
 
2008-10-27 03:22:11 PM  
I kind of like the "All of the Above ones"
 
2008-10-27 03:22:29 PM  
I didn't know they got married in Japan. I thought they just made really sick porn.

/fap
 
2008-10-27 03:23:43 PM  
I'm not a rational person.
 
2008-10-27 03:24:12 PM  
i stopped reading at "Japanese."

/yawn
 
2008-10-27 03:26:05 PM  
Wonder if he thought jail was better than being married?
 
2008-10-27 03:26:12 PM  
Thisbymaster: why is C) always massive property damage and/or jail time?

Why do farts smell like poop?
 
2008-10-27 03:26:16 PM  
I wouldn't even need an excuse.
 
2008-10-27 03:26:41 PM  
All this could be avoided if they would have just legalized polygamy.
 
2008-10-27 03:27:03 PM  
You don't want to go through with a wedding, especially as you're already married to someone else, so being the rational person you are you (c) set fire to the hotel where the wedding was planned

Comma police arrest this man.


/this is what you'll get when you mess with us
 
2008-10-27 03:27:44 PM  
kagemaru026: i stopped reading at "Japanese."

/yawn


That's LACIST!
 
2008-10-27 03:28:06 PM  
what if b) was "use of small thermonuclear device" ?
 
2008-10-27 03:29:13 PM  
desperate times call for desperate measures
 
2008-10-27 03:29:32 PM  
You don't want to go through with a wedding, especially as you're already married to someone else, so being the rational person you are you (c) set fire to the hotel where the wedding was planned

All the other reasons are just unnecessary.
 
2008-10-27 03:31:11 PM  
jolt_man: When did headline writers goet so lazy!

When did fark posters? Preview before post much?

/Backs off your lawn.
 
2008-10-27 03:33:21 PM  
If we can ban videogames for giving kids violent ideas than surely this situation is a bona fide reason to ban sitcoms.
 
2008-10-27 03:33:48 PM  
I'm waiting for the rule 34 of this.
 
2008-10-27 03:36:07 PM  
Well, fire is the answer to everything, even philosophical questions.
 
2008-10-27 03:37:48 PM  
All_Farked_Up: Wonder if he thought jail was better than being married?

I think he suddenly realized that the marriages would be served concurrently.
 
2008-10-27 03:41:02 PM  
techmom: All_Farked_Up: Wonder if he thought jail was better than being married?

I think he suddenly realized that the marriages would be served concurrently.


Awesome.
 
2008-10-27 03:41:49 PM  
What, he couldn't find any unsafe invitation envelopes for her to lick?

...amateur
 
2008-10-27 03:43:14 PM  
japlemon: What, he couldn't find any unsafe invitation envelopes for her to lick?

...amateur


i've heard stories where people have had cockroaches growing inside of their tongues from licking the eggs off of envelopes.

/shudder
 
2008-10-27 03:45:16 PM  
Thisbymaster: why is C) always massive property damage and/or jail time?

Because it's more sporting that way. And/or more crazy.
 
2008-10-27 03:45:34 PM  
when I was young i fantasized about running the hose out to the street and creating a large sheet of ice and that
somehow this would close down school for the entire county.
 
2008-10-27 03:46:02 PM  
MrShivery is going to Hell: I didn't know they got married in Japan. I thought they just made really sick porn.

/fap


I take it you are using the post 1990's connotation of "sick."
In that case, I agree.
What is it that funny book says? "Nothing is ugly except to people who don't understand."

/subway fap
 
2008-10-27 03:48:48 PM  
You're supposed to tell her you're gay. Duh.
 
2008-10-27 03:48:54 PM  
At least he will get fed and banged every day.
 
2008-10-27 03:52:32 PM  
It would have been cheaper for me to bun down the church and avoid my wedding than go through the divorce...
 
2008-10-27 03:58:15 PM  
If he was too much of a wuss to admit that he didn't want to get married and worse that he was already married to someone else. Then bride is lucky that groom is going to jail for arson.

/course.. maybe he was just trying to warm up his cold feet?
 
2008-10-27 03:58:44 PM  
Sticky Hands: All this could be avoided if they would have just legalized polygamy.

Will we never learn? Monogamy causes hotel fires.
 
2008-10-27 04:06:27 PM  
rmccown.org
 
2008-10-27 04:10:47 PM  
japlemon: What, he couldn't find any unsafe invitation envelopes for her to lick?

...amateur


Haha, the RSVP envelope for the most recent wedding I attended tasted awful and didn't stick well. Of course my thoughts went instantly to that episode. Since I buy so much Maker's Mark, they send me free gifts a lot. My favorite was a seal and sealing wax candle. Since the bride's family was uber Christian, I was sure to use the Maker's Mark seal to secure the cheap envelope.
 
2008-10-27 04:16:37 PM  
kagemaru026: i stopped reading at "Japanese."

/yawn


i257.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-27 04:18:18 PM  
"...let him spark now, or forever hold his peace..."
 
2008-10-27 04:24:45 PM  
infinitedigits: You're supposed to tell her you're gay. Duh.

Maybe he had too much money for her to care.

/Rabbits are relatively cheap
//As are pool boys
 
2008-10-27 04:26:53 PM  
Sorry we can't have our wedding today. Can we still have sex tonight?
 
2008-10-27 05:04:33 PM  
Belltower: infinitedigits: You're supposed to tell her you're gay. Duh.

Maybe he had too much money for her to care.

/Rabbits are relatively cheap
//As are pool boys


I do not understand the rabbit comment.
 
2008-10-27 05:09:38 PM  
Nutsac_Jim: Belltower: infinitedigits: You're supposed to tell her you're gay. Duh.

Maybe he had too much money for her to care.

/Rabbits are relatively cheap
//As are pool boys

I do not understand the rabbit comment.


A rabbit is an young homosexual boy (8-12) that has only one goal - to contract the HIV/AIDS virus. They usually trick you outside of a methadone clinic, with a line like "Hey mister, I'm lost." and the next thing you know BAM, you're balls deep in fourth grader butthole.
 
2008-10-27 05:54:35 PM  
SwingAwayMarell:
A rabbit is an young homosexual boy (8-12) that has only one goal - to contract the HIV/AIDS virus. They usually trick you outside of a methadone clinic, with a line like "Hey mister, I'm lost." and the next thing you know BAM, you're balls deep in fourth grader butthole.


How do you know that, honey?
 
2008-10-27 06:09:21 PM  
I thought it was common knowledge. It was around my household.
But nevermind that, lets talk about how I could possibly infect you with my evil cells.
 
2008-10-27 06:11:30 PM  
If only I'd taken C) and took a plea for a lesser charge.
If you're a young man, thinking about marrying that someone special, then save yourself a lot of time, money and heartache. By hook or crook, call off the wedding. Get out while you still can. Women who want to marry you DO NOT HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART.
/they don't have hearts
//don't fall for tears unless they're giving you lap dances
///men only get married out of pressure
////
 
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