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(Telegraph)   Far from the pillaging rapists history remembers them as, the Vikings were stylish trendsetters considered far too concerned with their personal hygiene, thus explaining the great mystery of how the Vikings turned into the Swedes   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 118
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10265 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Oct 2008 at 12:34 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-10-25 09:57:31 AM
FTA: "new men" with an interest in grooming, fashion and poetry.

In other words they were gay.
 
2008-10-25 09:57:53 AM
And let's not forget that they were also charismatic dancers:

i190.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-25 09:59:30 AM
myths.e2bn.org

Could you build THAT using nothing but an allen-wrench?
 
2008-10-25 10:04:24 AM
They did not, in fact, wear horned or winged helmets.

I refuse to believe this. I don't care how true it is or how much "evidence" those crazed anthropologists claim to have. Vikings = Awesome horned helmets. The End. QED.
 
2008-10-25 10:04:30 AM
 
2008-10-25 10:04:36 AM
We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!


I don't remember any words about taking a bath or combing their hair in that.
 
2008-10-25 10:09:35 AM
It's a little hard to swallow this latest political correctness, although it explains the many tales that describe the Vikings pulling hair and slapping their enemies silly.
 
2008-10-25 10:10:49 AM
Skail: Vikings = Awesome horned helmets

Damn straight!
 
2008-10-25 10:11:47 AM
ooooooh, I figured it out. Those damned "scientists" found the wrong settlement! They're talking about these guys.

www.nullbeta.net
/link it like you stole it
 
2008-10-25 10:29:11 AM
882 - The Northmen in the month of October intrenched themselves at Conde, and horribly devastated the kingdom of Carloman,' while King Charles with his army took his stand on the Somme at Barleux. The Northmen ceased not from rapine and drove all the inhabitants who were left beyond the Somme . . .

[King Carloman gave them battle] and the Franks were victorious, and killed nigh a thousand of the Northmen. Yet they were in no wise discomfited by this battle . . . . They went from Conde back to their ships, and thence laid waste the whole kingdom with fire and sword as far as the Oise. They destroyed houses, and razed monasteries and churches to the ground, and brought to their death the servants of our holy religion by famine and sword, or sold them beyond the sea. They killed the dwellers in the land and none could resist them.

Abbot Hugo, when he heard of these calamities, gathered an army and came to aid the king. When the Northmen came back from a plundering expedition . . . he, in company with the king, gave them chase. They, however, betook themselves to a wood, and scattered hither and yon, and finally returned to their ships with little loss. In this year died Hincmar, archbishop of Rheims, a man justly esteemed by all.

883 - . . . In the spring the Northmen left Condc and sought the country along the sea. Here they dwelt through the summer; they forced the Flemings to flee from their lands, and raged everywhere, laying waste the country with fire and sword. As autumn approached, Carloman, the king, took his station with his army in the canton of Vithman at Miami, opposite Lavier, in order to protect the kingdom. The Northmen at the end of October came to Lavier with cavalry, foot soldiers, and all their baggage. Ships, too, came from the sea up the Somme and forced the king and his whole army to flee and drove them across the river Oise. The invaders went into winter quarters in the city of Amiens and devastated all the land to the Seine and on both sides of the Oise, and no man opposed them; and they burned with fire the monasteries and churches of Christ . . . .

http://www.deremilitari.org/resources/sources/vaast.htm
 
2008-10-25 10:36:13 AM
OK...the ridiculous article aside...the Norse Eddas say that in those days the Norse aristocracy were warriors. Although a nobleman might have many sons, the land went to the first few, leaving the rest to forage for themselves. Many left to find their fortunes elsewhere, and the people back home were often glad to see the back of them. There never has been any mystery, just people who won't read history.
 
2008-10-25 10:42:33 AM
St_Francis_P: There never has been any mystery, just people who won't read history.

Poetry, man. Sheer poetry.

/Did you know it?
 
2008-10-25 10:43:49 AM
Skail: St_Francis_P: There never has been any mystery, just people who won't read history.

Poetry, man. Sheer poetry.

/Did you know it?


I realized after I posted. I was a poet, but I had no clue.
 
2008-10-25 10:47:19 AM
You were a poet but you didn't know it.
 
2008-10-25 11:13:38 AM
It's possible to be brutal and priggish, you know...

www.usmbooks.com
 
amo [TotalFark]
2008-10-25 11:26:16 AM
eddyatwork: You were a poet but you didn't know it.

But his feet show it--they're long-fellows.
 
2008-10-25 12:42:05 PM
dj_bigbird: We come from the land of the ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!

I don't remember any words about taking a bath or combing their hair in that.


I tried to sing that to the tune "Land down under" by Men at work.

/Kinda works
 
2008-10-25 12:42:58 PM
amo: eddyatwork: You were a poet but you didn't know it.

But his feet show it--they're long-fellows.


wow....you certainly dusted that one off.

/last heard in the early 90s from an 80 year old man
 
2008-10-25 12:44:36 PM
Far from the pillaging rapists history remembers them as, the Vikings were stylish trendsetters considered far too concerned with their personal hygiene, thus explaining the great mystery of how the Vikings turned into the Swedes


didnt they turn into the danes?
 
2008-10-25 12:45:26 PM
"A tenth-century Persian explorer described trousers (of Vikings in Russia) that were made of one hundred cubits of material, and a number of runestones depict warriors with flared breeches."

That sounds ... odd. 100 cubits of clothe is approximately 190 inches of clothe. That's baggier pants than MC Hammer. The damn English and French etc were being pummeled by guys wearing Z Cavaricci pantaloons?

This is distressing to think about.

 
2008-10-25 12:45:36 PM
And the Brits conquered the globe while drinking tea and reading Oscar Wilde. As long as your military is mainly naval apparently you can be powerful and also quite... hygienic.
 
2008-10-25 12:46:33 PM
brigid_fitch: And let's not forget that they were also charismatic dancers:

I came here for this and did not leave disappointed
 
2008-10-25 12:47:15 PM
No T-shirt link? Damn.
 
2008-10-25 12:48:13 PM
*storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!
 
2008-10-25 12:49:59 PM
hitler was a hardcore liberal: Far from the pillaging rapists history remembers them as, the Vikings were stylish trendsetters considered far too concerned with their personal hygiene, thus explaining the great mystery of how the Vikings turned into the Swedes


didnt they turn into the danes?


The danelaw, originally lands owned by the french, were settled by viking invaders after Paris paid them to do so in order to protect them from other marauding vikings who, by that time, had already held paris for ransom five times...successfully, I might add...
 
2008-10-25 12:50:23 PM
RamblingKey: "A tenth-century Persian explorer described trousers (of Vikings in Russia) that were made of one hundred cubits of material, and a number of runestones depict warriors with flared breeches."

That sounds ... odd. 100 cubits of clothe is approximately 190 inches of clothe. That's baggier pants than MC Hammer. The damn English and French etc were being pummeled by guys wearing Z Cavaricci pantaloons?



with kirk douglas on your side, how can you lose?
kirk.douglas.free.fr
 
2008-10-25 12:51:49 PM
some swedish girl: *storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!


Please?

/how YOU doin?
 
2008-10-25 12:52:01 PM
some swedish girl Quote 2008-10-25 12:48:13 PM
"*storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!"

You said rape twice.
 
2008-10-25 12:54:41 PM
MorphOSX: hitler was a hardcore liberal: Far from the pillaging rapists history remembers them as, the Vikings were stylish trendsetters considered far too concerned with their personal hygiene, thus explaining the great mystery of how the Vikings turned into the Swedes


didnt they turn into the danes?

The danelaw, originally lands owned by the french, were settled by viking invaders after Paris paid them to do so in order to protect them from other marauding vikings who, by that time, had already held paris for ransom five times...successfully, I might add...


odd, you'd think they could have just blocked of the seine river and been done with it.
 
2008-10-25 12:55:49 PM
hitler was a hardcore liberal:

You'd think so, though apparently they weren't so good at that. But it does go to show they've always been good at surrender.
 
2008-10-25 12:57:07 PM
FTA: "They say that the Norse explorers, far from being obsessed with fighting and drinking, were a largely-peaceful race who were even criticised for being too hygienic".

And then threre were the "Berserkers" Oh, how those crazy vikings loved their mushrooms.
 
2008-10-25 12:57:45 PM
i199.photobucket.com

Swedes
 
2008-10-25 12:58:12 PM
MorphOSX: hitler was a hardcore liberal:

You'd think so, though apparently they weren't so good at that. But it does go to show they've always been good at surrender.


i figured that after the whole napoleon fiasco they found that surrender was less expensive.

content.answers.com
 
2008-10-25 12:58:21 PM
I'm here for pics of hawt swedish broads. What's takin so long?
 
2008-10-25 12:58:33 PM
timescorrespondents.typepad.com

True about the helmets, the Gauls and the Celts were the ones putting horns and wings on their helms. So the image of deranged, drunken men with pigtails and baggy trousers rampaging through Europe are still true.

/half Viking, half Celt
 
2008-10-25 12:58:52 PM
MBA Whore: some swedish girl Quote 2008-10-25 12:48:13 PM
"*storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!"

You said rape twice.


She likes that...
 
2008-10-25 01:04:12 PM
MBA Whore: some swedish girl Quote 2008-10-25 12:48:13 PM
"*storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!"

You said rape twice.


i really like rape.
 
2008-10-25 01:06:42 PM
MBA Whore: some swedish girl Quote 2008-10-25 12:48:13 PM
"*storms in to thread, pillages, plunders and rapes, drinks some mead, rapes some more*

Take that!"

You said rape twice.


She takes her heritage very seriously.
 
2008-10-25 01:10:41 PM
Everyone knows that vikings were all like Hagar the Horrible.
 
2008-10-25 01:12:11 PM
I beg to pardon, but although we Americans consider ourselves to be civilised and sophisticated, didn't we just wipe 1.5 Iraqi women and children off the face of the Earth?
 
2008-10-25 01:12:12 PM
Another Scandinavian thread, another excuse to post pictures of Princess Madeleine:

img.photobucket.com

img.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-25 01:12:14 PM
The mental image of Vikings in Hammer pants is very disturbing.
 
2008-10-25 01:12:25 PM
Mobro4000: I'm here for pics of hawt swedish broads. What's takin so long?

http://slimpundit.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/swedish-girls.jpg

//Mission Accomplished
 
2008-10-25 01:13:00 PM
slimpundit.files.wordpress.com
 
2008-10-25 01:13:47 PM
Coelacanth: I beg to pardon, but although we Americans consider ourselves to be civilised and sophisticated, didn't we just wipe 1.5 Iraqi women and children off the face of the Earth?

What happened to the other 0.5 ? Already amputees?
 
2008-10-25 01:13:52 PM
came looking for a monty python sketch.

leaving disappointed.
 
2008-10-25 01:16:13 PM
Spazzattack

Came here for the Swedish girls. Dunke!
 
2008-10-25 01:17:14 PM
still work?
 
2008-10-25 01:19:09 PM
img381.imageshack.us

The "tenth century persian" they talk about is this guy, Ibn Fadlan. This is a good book. You learn a lot about the Turks, Muslims and Vikings all in one.
 
2008-10-25 01:21:14 PM
HaNaGaijin: Spazzattack

Came here for the Swedish girls. Dunke!


I think it's "Tac".
 
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