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(The Courier)   Gordon Chadwick has been arrested for exposing himself in public so many times that officers in The Woodlands say they always think of him when they receive a call of this nature   (zwire.com) divider line 57
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4639 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jan 2003 at 12:36 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-01-03 09:30:26 PM
Apparently if you want to get posted on Fark, all you have to do is copy the original headline verbatim!

"Witnesses said a tall, white male had been standing on the side of the road, exposing his genitalia to children in passing cars.

Ok, not only is that very disgusting, but the fact that he's KNOWN for that kind of behavior just adds a whole new world of "disturbing" to the situation. Why isn't he wasting away in jail? I'm sure there's lots of people in there that would like his genitals exposed to them. This guy's just a rapist in the making probably
 
2003-01-04 12:38:57 AM
I also think this article must win some sort of prize for LONGEST HEADLINE EVER
 
2003-01-04 12:40:16 AM
The Woodlands sucks anyway. It's hot as all hell, and for some reason, it seems like once a day, at around 1 or 2 PM, it rains for about 15 minutes.
 
2003-01-04 12:40:28 AM
What a great article, I recommend you read the whole farking thing.
 
2003-01-04 12:41:15 AM
Not to mention the residents are the epitome of white-collar socialist suburban arrogance.
 
2003-01-04 12:41:23 AM
That's nice..

Go Bucks! 14-0!
 
2003-01-04 12:43:33 AM
Eight year olds dude..
 
2003-01-04 12:44:13 AM
(I got it right this time! ;) )
 
2003-01-04 12:44:15 AM
The Woodlands...right down the road from my house... Saw a lot of movies at the theatre there, but never saw a guy flashing his thing.

ZM
 
2003-01-04 12:44:49 AM
Hey I live close to this place, that name sounds so familiar. But I'd hit any girl who lives there anatole, I know you would to!!
 
2003-01-04 12:46:11 AM
ZM, I work at that theater, yeah I know i'm a big Nerd.
 
2003-01-04 12:49:52 AM
I'll bet his parents are happy folks. Wonder what they write in their Christmas card form-letters every year.
 
2003-01-04 12:50:22 AM
A group of fathers in that area need to just pay ol' Gordo a visit and see if they can't remedy the situation.
 
2003-01-04 12:50:57 AM
ok.. who's gordon chadwick, and where is the woodlands?
 
2003-01-04 12:51:28 AM
Congratulations, Fundip. You made me blow a snot bubble.
 
2003-01-04 12:51:46 AM
O-H
 
2003-01-04 12:52:32 AM
KaLogain: Hey I live close to this place, that name sounds so familiar. But I'd hit any girl who lives there anatole, I know you would to!!

You'd hit any girl with a pulse, Joseph. Don't lie. :)
 
2003-01-04 12:56:24 AM
"...and 4 percent verbally attacked the exhibitionist."

Guess where I would be?
 
2003-01-04 12:59:20 AM
Hey! Isn't this cheating? I thought the challenge of getting something posted was in making up your OWN DAMN HEADLINE. I feel so disillusioned.
 
2003-01-04 01:05:35 AM
The Woodlands is a master-planned community north of Houston. You find a lot of the "think they are rich" living there. It's not to say that it is a poor cummunity by any means, however the population's desire is to live in River Oaks.

If you live in Houston, you need to check out Radio City Music Theatre. They have a GREAT skit about The Woodlands - and also about Mattress Mack (if you are not from Houston, you wouldn't get it).
 
2003-01-04 01:10:19 AM
Time to cut this guy's weener off.
 
2003-01-04 01:15:19 AM
The Woodlands just sounds like the kind of place that breeds these kinds of friendly neighbors. First there's bigfoot, then the blair witch and now, winky wagger.
 
2003-01-04 01:19:40 AM
I read somewhere once that Matress Mack made most of his money from drug deals. He came to my Jr. High once dressed in a gorilla suit and lectured us on the evils of taking drugs. He told us the whole story of how he came into town in his beater with only $50 in his pocket and went on to build his furniture empire. Somehow I found that hard to believe. There have been rumors that he gives away furniture every Christmas as a "community service" if you catch my drift.
His store is a freaking amusement park. It's really insane and I hate to say it but such a thing probably could only exist in Texas.
As far as the Woodlands goes, it's a nice area...to get lost in.
Seriously, especially in the Springtime.
 
2003-01-04 01:25:25 AM
t h a t w a s fark i n g h i l a r i o u s !
 
2003-01-04 01:34:14 AM
Darkhairedgirl - if you've never been to RCMT it is a must. Well, if you are not a native from a small Texas town. Or if you get a kick out of the red-necked, large haired inhabitants of such places. You know, where people think Brenham is a major metro area.
 
2003-01-04 01:41:59 AM
I've only been to Brenham once and that was to tour the Blue Bell Factory...free ice cream and what not. The little town that Germans built. =)
 
2003-01-04 01:42:33 AM
The Woodlands, A real hometown :)

I grew up in The Woodlands. Was a great place when there was still woods there. Now it's full of, as Troyfl said, the "think they are rich".
 
2003-01-04 01:52:28 AM
DHG - the shirt in your bio reminded me of the Big Black song Bad Penny. Thanks for the idea as to what to listen to tonight.
 
2003-01-04 01:58:09 AM
I have nothing to add but: check out Darkhairedgirl's bio!

We have the new Farkette of the year here, fellas. I'm so glad to live in Houston!
 
2003-01-04 02:04:32 AM
RONNIE. farkING. DOBBS.
 
2003-01-04 02:24:29 AM
hey darkhairedgirl, up in Fairfield OH they have 'Jungle Jims'. It is a trippy grocery store with animatronic gorillas dressed as elvis, a singing hippo, you name it they have it. From what I understand, Jungle Jim started out selling fruit off the highway at a stand. He made some money though, by going on annual 'expeditions' to Florida to buy fruit. Sure, he was buying fruit. And I am farking superman.

Last I heard, he is building a restaurant and a monorail on his property.

Jungle Jim's is a big reason as to why I submit to visiting my family every christmas.
 
2003-01-04 02:53:16 AM
Fuzznewtons, I am speechless. I really have nothing to say except...I can't believe that place exists.
 
2003-01-04 03:05:15 AM
darkhairedgirl, Jungle Jim's is what happens when you take massive amounts of drugs for extended periods of time. It's still fun to walk through though, and they stock anything you could ever want.
 
2003-01-04 03:10:47 AM
The Woodlands isn't that much different than other suburban communities all over the US. Upper-middle class people who think they have escaped the "big city" and moved to a cookie cutter paradise with a lot of trees. Oh, and a flasher.
 
2003-01-04 03:52:54 AM
I live in Kingwood - The Other Woodlands. Of course we had a serial rapist out here that was wanted in like a five county area(a good friend of ours busted him - got cop of the year for it). Plus we have the added bonus of a ton of snotty teenagers, but really, it's a decent neighborhood. Got a krogers, two randalls, a walmart neighborhood market and like seventy starbucks (er, three I think) all without hitting the freeway. I've enjoyed my stay here...
We're selling and moving to Austin due to many things. Any of you farkers in the area want to buy a house in Kingwood for 90k?
 
2003-01-04 05:30:44 AM
The Montgomery County Sheriff's Department is seeking anyone who may have seen Chadwick Monday night on Sawmill Road south of Grogan's Mill near the First Baptist Church of The Woodlands.

I love it. They know where he was and when, they just need somebody to prove it for them... why does this whole thing sound very 'Andy Griffith'-ish... if Andy Griffith had had sex offenders.
 
2003-01-04 07:56:52 AM
I heard about this guy. He flashed a friend of mine, her response was to run away, screaming.

Hey, who actually reads the Conroe Courier anyhow? The only thing I find interesting about it is the number of times typos end up in the headlines.

hm, and The Woodlands isn't that bad, since it's full of 17-year-olds running around with pockets full of daddy's money. My favorite.
 
2003-01-04 11:34:49 AM
The flashers name is Gordon CHADwick and nobody has offered a "hanging chad" joke?
 
2003-01-04 11:36:59 AM
Kiloman Harris County and the surrounding Houston area is more like Darwin's waiting room.
 
2003-01-04 12:19:11 PM
I spent too many years in Kingwood myself, Bugdog.
 
2003-01-04 01:07:03 PM
Ramprat92

Of all the cities I have ever visited, aside from El Paso, Houston has to be the most asthetically unpleasing city. Houston is a great example of what happens when you don't have zoning laws.
I live off a major street near the galleria, and driving down it makes me want to wretch on a daily basis. Strip mall after strip mall after strip mall, and behind all these restaurants and strip malls? Apartment buildings.
I can't imagine living somewhere and having your view be the backend of a Mexican restaurant.
I've been here for 20, didn't really start hating it until I figured out why it irked me so.
Plus most of the schools in the inner city look more like jails, so that always helps.
 
2003-01-04 01:28:12 PM

Yep, mattress mack was homeless for a time. Hard to believe, now that he's a farkin millionaire. And he does now give away furniture to poor families at christmas. He's a good guy.

I don't really like gallery furniture though... its too expensive and gaudy. Give me ikea any day. Cheap and doesnt look like something your parents would own.

 
2003-01-04 01:36:05 PM
Darkhairedgirl i have to agree with your statement but you are a sight for sore eyes.
 
2003-01-04 01:44:56 PM
Wow! I live about 5 minutes from The Woodlands, in Spring.

Troyf1, I love Radio Music Theatre! Every Xmas they do a play called "A Fertile Family Christmas". It's hilarious!

BTW, Matress Mac is not a good guy. Just ask anyone who's ever worked for him! Any charity he does is strictly for the publicity and a tax write-off! He's really an ass!
 
2003-01-04 01:47:33 PM
Damn, I didn't know so many farkers were from Houston.
Suddenly I don't feel so alone. *grin*
 
2003-01-04 02:49:56 PM
Wow, a link to The Courier, the nation's last remaining newspaper without a spellchecker or proofreader. I live in Montgomery myself and had no idea so many farkers were in the area.

Now, for this Gordon character, I don't think castration and a penisectomy are out of the question, especially since he's a such a repeat offender.
 
2003-01-04 05:55:17 PM
Why so down on him...he's just looking for that clothing optional dinner party so many people say they've been to.
 
2003-01-04 06:58:37 PM
Do you ever feel like your dog is staring at you when your naked? I knew a girl who's dog just loved to lick her tities when she came out of the shower, loved to lick the water off. Also licked to sniff her kootchie when she came home. Damn I miss that dog, had great taste. It was even a female pooch.
 
2003-01-04 08:01:54 PM
Macker,Dude lay off the dope!!!!!!!
 
2003-01-04 08:27:05 PM
Also known as Brian Fite

http://records.txdps.state.tx.us/soSearch/default.cfm

CHADWICK,GORDON LEE
DPS Number DOB Risk Level Sex Race
06212927 05/08/1981 NOT AVAILABLE MALE White
Height Weight Eye Color Hair Color Shoe Size
608 160 BRO BRO 125

Sex Offender Photo
Photo(s)
This is the Current Photo



10-01-2002
Click to view all 1 photo(s)

Alias Names
Name
CHADWICK,GORDON
FITE,BRIAN

Sex Offender Registration Record
Date Agency
08/29/2002 TX1700000 CONROE SO MONTGOMERY CO

Sex Offender Verification Record
Date Agency
12/31/2002 TX1700000 CONROE SO MONTGOMERY CO

Current Address
Current Address
Street INCARCERATED/COUNTY JAIL
City CONROE
County MONTGOMERY
State TX
Zip Code 77301


Offense Data
Sex Offender Offense
Offense 36050001 Indecent Exposure(Second) Conviction
General Offense Code
Counts 1
Victim's Sex
Victim's Age Not Available
Disposition Date 06/24/2002
Time 6M
Status DISCHARGED
 
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