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(TiGl)   Woman trapped in house for 24 hours by a black plastic bag she mistook for a panther   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

16167 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2003 at 1:34 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

103 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-03 11:49:12 AM  
One time I thought I saw a really big duffel bag, like the kind you see people stash bodies in in movies, in the ditch off a backroad near my house. Anyway, I told my fiance all about it and he was pretty freakin' interested, so the next time we drove by the road we decided to investigate. Turns out it was just a beat-up big plastic trashcan that got blown away from someone's driveway.

The worst part is, it's still there two months later, so everytime we drive by it, he taunts me with, "Oooooh, looks like there might be a body in there!", or something of the like. Asshat.
2003-01-03 12:10:37 PM  
Next, on Animal Planet...
2003-01-03 12:17:53 PM  
She should do some more meth.
2003-01-03 01:37:06 PM  
Hmm, maybe she needs new glasses and should stop taking the meds...
2003-01-03 01:38:27 PM  
In my nearsighted youth, I almost shot one of those fabric tubes you run along a door sill to keep drafts out, thinking it was a snake.

Key word: almost.
2003-01-03 01:39:06 PM  
pff... women... figures
2003-01-03 01:39:48 PM  
The natural predator of the elusive psychotic-drug-induced panther:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-03 01:40:05 PM  
okay i was just on the phone with my boss.. and i Bust out laughing when i read this.. he got all pissed off, thinking i was laughing at him... when i told him what i read, he bust out laughing too.. Phew!!
2003-01-03 01:40:34 PM  
I guess that's better than mistaking a panther for a plastic bag.
2003-01-03 01:42:22 PM  
I thought she mistook it for a partner...
2003-01-03 01:42:42 PM  
Been there, man. Totally been there.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-03 01:43:17 PM  
I once mistook a Reebok with fat laces for a Puma.....
2003-01-03 01:43:29 PM  
One time, I was in my house, and it was dark and the windows were open so it was windy, and I got cornered by what I thought was a huge jellyfish, but it ended up being a plastic grocery bag blowing around. Most terrifying night of my life...I feel her pain.
2003-01-03 01:43:44 PM  
That's not so bad, I was once trapped in the house for 24 hours by a bean bag chair I mistook for Anna Nicole Smith.
2003-01-03 01:43:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-03 01:44:00 PM  
Oh, that kind of panther. I was thinking more along the lines of the militant group from the 60's and 70's. Phew. It all makes perfect sense now.
2003-01-03 01:44:17 PM  
damn whos at my door all mouth and teeth a gator????? no its the mother in-law
2003-01-03 01:44:32 PM  
It seems the Brits have inbred their way to the bottom of the gene pool.
2003-01-03 01:44:37 PM  
please don't take the brown acid...
2003-01-03 01:44:45 PM  
Maybe they should change the warning on the plastic bag to "Caution: Not a toy, also not a panther or jaguar!"

No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
2003-01-03 01:44:48 PM  
I may just be giddy because it's Friday, but that was a really funny article.
2003-01-03 01:45:01 PM  
Where can I get the 'shrooms she's doing?
2003-01-03 01:45:58 PM  
must have been some good drugs involved...
2003-01-03 01:46:05 PM  
Useless bloody loonies
2003-01-03 01:46:17 PM  
LOL Candypants That's funny.

One night I was in my backyard and I heard blood-curdling screaming coming out of the neighbors house. I almost called the cops cause I convinced myself someone was murdered. I was talked out of calling, but for a good year I believed someone was killed.
2003-01-03 01:46:37 PM  
She surrenders to France.
2003-01-03 01:47:03 PM  
I got really drunk once and thought the dryer was the toliet.

I got a new dryer after that.
2003-01-03 01:47:24 PM  
One time I sprayed a piece of lint with a LOT of raid, thinking it was a spider. I can't see too well, and it did move a couple times. Drafty, you know. Place stunk for days.
2003-01-03 01:47:33 PM  

Royally Stupid People Collecting Animals?

Oh, OK, it's the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. On their web site, they have a little pop-up dude walking around with a sign that says something about banning hunting with dogs.
I always thought dogs loved hunting. I suspect these people need a dumbass tag.
2003-01-03 01:47:54 PM  
Hmmm....too much TV, love.
2003-01-03 01:48:03 PM  
In her defense, it was an ill tempered plastic bag. It surely could have suffocated her or at least taken many years to biodegrade.
2003-01-03 01:48:07 PM  
No crack for you !

/crack nazi
2003-01-03 01:48:37 PM  
There's a monster in my pants!

Oh...never mind.
2003-01-03 01:48:48 PM  
Ha ha ha! Those crazy Brits!!
2003-01-03 01:49:23 PM  
Shut.....up - I'd hate to be the service guy that has to clean out your lint trap.
2003-01-03 01:49:50 PM  
"Crikey Mate ! Look at taht, it's a wild Austrailian Rhino !"
2003-01-03 01:49:52 PM  
Are panthers common in the UK? Like roaming the streets? Dumbass is right.

[image from too old to be available] != [image from too old to be available]
2003-01-03 01:50:03 PM  
Too Many Drugs
2003-01-03 01:50:28 PM  

Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM!
2003-01-03 01:50:35 PM  
Apparently the Lesser Air-Headed Idiot can be found on other continents as well. I was worried it was dying out.
2003-01-03 01:50:55 PM  
Theres a piece of construction paper staring at me through the window. Someone please help me.
2003-01-03 01:50:56 PM  
So what did she do for 24 hours?? Run from window to window all wide-eyed in fear? Sure wish there was a video of that, cause THAT'S humor to me.
2003-01-03 01:51:05 PM  
This sounds like something that would happen to me while stoned.
2003-01-03 01:51:08 PM  
Heh. I was in bed and saw what appeared to be a gun pointing through the window once. You know the phrase "her blood ran cold"? I was sweating ice, I swear. Mind you, I was on the 2nd floor of a house. It was the reflection off of that shrink-wrap you put on windows.

Speaking of lint, I tried to vacuum up what looked like a big ball of lint outside the laundry room a few weeks ago. It was a mouse. (thx, cat!)
2003-01-03 01:51:39 PM  
Black Power! Black Power! oh wait, the other type of panther. My bad
2003-01-03 01:51:48 PM  
What are all those things they're talking about in the article? "discarded black and white trainer" and "black snake under the settee". What are those things? Why do those darn Brits talk so funny? Just speak American, dammit.
2003-01-03 01:52:09 PM  
Maybe she needs to learn how to pee standing up.
2003-01-03 01:52:14 PM  
LOL Phattymatt!!!
2003-01-03 01:52:15 PM  
I like the last one; A stuffed owl used to focus cameras on (stuffed for two years now) is concerned about, because.... wait for it.... it wasn't moving! *ba doom, chisch!*
2003-01-03 01:52:36 PM  

"Crikey Mate ! Look at that, it's a wild Austrailian Rhino !"

[image from too old to be available]

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