FTA:The products were not meant to be microwaved, they didn't include microwave instructions, and the labels said the chicken was raw.

I wonder if these idiots cook raw hamburger in the microwave, too.


/this kind of problem solves itself

oldebayer: I never microwave meat. Unless you count bacon. Mmmm, bacon...

Eww? How the hell can you "cook" bacon in a microwave and have it come out resembling proper bacony wonderfulness?

/heathen

picturescrazy: "Raw uncooked chicken that needs to be baked in an oven for 30 minutes or else you might die, stuffed with broccoli and cheese."

That's the new product from Whizzo -- makers of "crunchy raw unboned real dead frog".

/uniting the Python and the thread once again
/circle of life

rodeofrog: wylkyn: Disneyland has instructions above the sinks in the bathrooms on how to wash your hands. I mean, if you don't know how to wash your hands, are you going to know how to read? Or care that there are instructions?

Those signs are there so I can grab the Japanese guy by the back of his shirt and point to something before he just walks out of the bathroom without washing his hands and touches everything I'm about to touch.

Hmm...I thought the Japanese stereotype was that they were obsessed with cleanliness. Did you take the time to measure the epicanthic fold or use the handy eye chart? Maybe he was a Mongol.

phlegmmo: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodorous pervert!

I came here for an argument!

rhiannon: torch: amid the fourth salmonella outbreak in four years linked to raw frozen entrees.

OH MY GOD That's like ONE CASE PER YEAR! PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!

You read the first paragraph, what's the 2nd one say?

also, try to comprehend hte difference between an outbreak and a case...

flying doctor: Farking nasty.Who in their right mind eats frozen breaded chicken patties in the first place.Breaded chicken patties are the sickest things fast food ever invented.They got what they deserve.

Slather it in hot wing sauce, add lettuce, cheese, mayo (or ranch dressing), and a bun. Good shiat

bukketmaster: FTA:The products were not meant to be microwaved, they didn't include microwave instructions, and the labels said the chicken was raw.

I wonder if these idiots cook raw hamburger in the microwave, too.
/this kind of problem solves itself

My idiot brother-in-law eats raw ground beef, to check the seasoning.

...unfortunately that problem has not "solved itself"

Unavailable for comment.

wylkyn: rodeofrog: wylkyn: Disneyland has instructions above the sinks in the bathrooms on how to wash your hands. I mean, if you don't know how to wash your hands, are you going to know how to read? Or care that there are instructions?

Those signs are there so I can grab the Japanese guy by the back of his shirt and point to something before he just walks out of the bathroom without washing his hands and touches everything I'm about to touch.

Hmm...I thought the Japanese stereotype was that they were obsessed with cleanliness. Did you take the time to measure the epicanthic fold or use the handy eye chart? Maybe he was a Mongol.

Now that I think about it, he was probably from Hawaii. He looked considerably lazier than the average Japanese male.

SNL submitted this with a better headline.

And that's just sad.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: picturescrazy: "Raw uncooked chicken that needs to be baked in an oven for 30 minutes or else you might die, stuffed with broccoli and cheese."

That's the new product from Whizzo -- makers of "crunchy raw unboned real dead frog".

/uniting the Python and the thread once again
/circle of life

I'd be lying if I said that that thought didn't cross my mind as I typed that. :)

Hermano!

Dyskord:
My idiot brother-in-law eats raw ground beef, to check the seasoning.

...unfortunately that problem has not "solved itself"

Your Brother In Law could be part Tartar. That'd explain things.

\They ate raw beef, which were tenderized by riding in saddles all day long.
\\That's where Steak Tartare comes from.
\\\With onions, hold the raw egg please.
///Hungry for beef Carpaccio.

What about genetically engineering food to cook itself? Bet it would be tasty!

I came here for Arrested Development references. I was not let down.

Been there, done that. It looked done and brown when I pulled it out. I put it on the bread with some miracle whip, lettuce, pickle and took a bite.....I then noticed it did not have the right chewiness I expect out of a chicken patty. Then I looked and saw a nice pink middle. Ick! Never got sick though. The Damn bag was right next to the usual Tyson stuff when I chose it at the market for pete sake. If its raw put it by the raw chicken not the food product ready to eat chicken.

He says the best solution would be "electronic pasteurization," also known as irradiation, which would kill the salmonella but leave the chicken raw.

No, the best solution is to READ THE FARKIN' COOKING INSTRUCTIONS!!

Seriously.

rodeofrog: NikolaiFarkoff: Fark scooped by SNL over a week ago?

I came in for this. I'm staying because Milla's in here. I masturbate to her image an awful lot.

I masturbate to chicken so I'm getting a kick ..

LetsGoBowling: Do the chickens have large talons?

I don't understand a word of what you just said. Have another sandwich.

alahop: Been there, done that. It looked done and brown when I pulled it out. I put it on the bread with some miracle whip, lettuce, pickle and took a bite.....I then noticed it did not have the right chewiness I expect out of a chicken patty. Then I looked and saw a nice pink middle. Ick! Never got sick though. The Damn bag was right next to the usual Tyson stuff when I chose it at the market for pete sake. If its raw put it by the raw chicken not the food product ready to eat chicken.

I see. It's the supermarket's fault for incorrectly stocking chicken products? It's not the fault of the asshat that didn't check to see if it was properly cooked before throwing it on a slice of bread?

I suggest you invest in a meat thermometer, or a good knife to cut into your chicken to make sure it's cooked all the way through before you sink your choppers into it. It's not rocket science.

picturescrazy: I don't know how much more clearly they can label these unless they start naming the product "Raw uncooked chicken that needs to be baked in an oven for 30 minutes or else you might die, stuffed with broccoli and cheese."

/Made me laugh

Kiddo Young: alahop: Been there, done that. It looked done and brown when I pulled it out. I put it on the bread with some miracle whip, lettuce, pickle and took a bite.....I then noticed it did not have the right chewiness I expect out of a chicken patty. Then I looked and saw a nice pink middle. Ick! Never got sick though. The Damn bag was right next to the usual Tyson stuff when I chose it at the market for pete sake. If its raw put it by the raw chicken not the food product ready to eat chicken.

I see. It's the supermarket's fault for incorrectly stocking chicken products? It's not the fault of the asshat that didn't check to see if it was properly cooked before throwing it on a slice of bread?

I suggest you invest in a meat thermometer, or a good knife to cut into your chicken to make sure it's cooked all the way through before you sink your choppers into it. It's not rocket science.

Yeah, because for normal day to day cooking you sure need that meat thermometer!!

wylkyn: phlegmmo: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodorous pervert!

I came here for an argument!


No you didn't.

came for arrested development chicken imitations

/left happy
/right slashie?

that's what she said?

When does this article take place? The conditional past future tense?

stvdallas: More Milla...

There will be a time and a place. Milla, Michelle Rodriguez and I will end up sharing one giant martini - lots of olives.

And no one will laugh at me!

Insertwitty Namehere
wylkyn: phlegmmo: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodorous pervert!

I came here for an argument!


No you didn't. I'm sorry; this is abuse

/know your MPFC

I came here for pics of Gob and his chicken dance. I can leave happy now.

This reminded me of the guy in the potato thread and his disgusting raw hamburger concoction from earlier today.

somewhere in here.

Link
made me nauseated

stvdallas: FemmFat: Have any of you even seen a chicken before??

Yes. I grew up on a 40 acre farm, and we had chickens and cows. I've helped butcher cows out in the field as well as chop the heads off chickens before stuffing good tasty meat in the freezer for later enjoyment.

Only thing that kind of grossed me out was watching a cow's tongue quiver for an hour after setting it aside on the pickup truck bed...twitch, twitch, twitch...

I once made the mistake of butchering chickens wearing a yellow tshirt. Needless to say, it was bright red by the time I was done with those 100 chickens. The funniest part was when I lost control of one chicken when I cut off its head and it fell to the ground and started doing back flips. My little brother, about 5 at the time was watching. When it stopped, he said, "make it do it some more"!. He turned out to be a really weird lawyer. I wonder if I had anything to do with that.

Yah, goot chicken.

/es goot.

Weird thing is, I actually made this mistake with the Tyson product the first time I made it. Color me stupid. I didn't get sick though. Last year when I was in Japan with my wife, I had raw chicken at a restaurant. She says the Japanese word it is called "sasami". I seriously think that every time I visit her relatives they try to think of the food that would gross out a westerner the most and then get me to eat it. Well, I had that that night and didn't get sick, but I sure won't order it again. Was not oishii by any means. Bleh. I hear next time that they want me to try raw horse meat.
/will do it just to be polite

I made chicken tartare that one time, and you never let me forget it!

Like people who ride motorcycles without helmets or drive cars without seatbelts, I fail to see the problem here. If we didn't spend so much time eliminating natural idiot-checks, we'd have far fewer idiots.

Do...people actually NOT read the directions when microwaving (or even cooking, regardless of the method) food, especially things like red meat or poultry?

There can't be people who honestly just look at a piece of frozen meat or poultry and decide "I'll just warm it in the microwave" without checking to see how long to hat/cook it.

Can there be...?

I've got one of these in the oven right now, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies.

/30 minutes @ 400 degrees
//biscuits FTW

Bill_Wick's_Friend: But because the entrees were breaded or pre-browned, some consumers thought they also were precooked and simply warmed them in the microwave. Microwaving did not get them hot enough to kill salmonella bacteria in the raw chicken.

When they cut into it and started eating oozing, pink, gooey raw chicken they didn't get a clue that something was amiss?

Morons deserve their diarrhea.

I really the red meat around the bone...Yummy!

Just to make a point while I wait for another machine to reboot...

Those "cook until internal temperature" instructions are on almost all frozen meat product packages I've ever seen. Even the ones that are labeled "fully cooked". Because of this, I can see how the warning loses meaning. When a fully cooked heat-n-serve product has the "cook to proper internal temperature" warning plastered all over it, the message is diluted. By the time someone comes across an item that actually needs some care during preparation, the label no longer stands out.

Rather than demand bigger, brighter, flashier, etc. labels, people should be demanding that the labels and instructions be relevant to the product. That way it stands out when there's a big thermometer and a "cook to 165F" note.

Fursecution: I've got one of these in the oven right now, so I'm getting a real kick out of these replies.

/30 minutes @ 400 degrees
//biscuits FTW

don't forget to carefully check the inner temperature with a meat thermometer, or else you might die.
Because no one has ever cooked a piece of meat correctly before.

apiarist: Yeah, because for normal day to day cooking you sure need that meat thermometer!!

No, you don't need a meat thermometer -- unless you don't want to get the trots or worse.

/I'm guessing you don't cook much

i'm guessing you don't cook much if you can't tell when your meat is done without a thermometer.

/it's not rocket science
//as a species we've being doing this a long time.
//thread needs an OMGWTFBBQ

olapbill:

Yeah, because for normal day to day cooking you sure need that meat thermometer!!

Well, the poster you responded to also offered the suggestion of "or a knife", which I'm fairly certain can be used in day-to-day cooking. That's what I use to check most of my food to see if it's cooked properly. If I have concerns (such as a roast in the oven), I crack out one of my two meat thermometers.* The thermometers were $1 each, so I don't complain that I only crack them out about once a month or so.

*I have two because the original was in metric only (my fault for not checking that before I bought it) and the other is in Fahrenheit, which I prefer to use because I am an American and process F better than C. Hey, for a dollar it wasn't worth messing with the exchange process.

FemmFat: Have any of you even seen a chicken before??

Farkers in this thread who never watched Arrested Development:

rodeofrog
stvdallas
Fark Me To Tears

/also came for the AD references
//leaves happy