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(State Journal Register)   Woman learns her decorated veteran boyfriend is not the toughest guy in the park   (sj-r.com) divider line 155
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37601 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Oct 2008 at 12:18 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-10-15 09:45:32 AM
Now that takes big balls...
 
2008-10-15 09:52:43 AM
ecx.images-amazon.com

/tommy lee jones 1986
 
2008-10-15 09:58:29 AM
www.threadbombing.com

I can has squirrel? Like this on heem.
 
2008-10-15 10:15:51 AM
He sounds like a good guy
 
2008-10-15 10:20:46 AM
Oh how I wish the GF had recorded it.

Glad he didn't need the rabies shot. But I found this curious:

Garren said he became concerned when he was told he might have to receive a rabies shot.

"As a retired military guy, I was still pretty nervous. But I'm not going to have to have one. I was current on all of my shots."


You get rabies shots in the military?
 
2008-10-15 10:21:19 AM
Dude, get the rabies shot. You were ATTACKED by a mammal acting abnormally, don't just shrug that off as "Eh, I am up to date on my shots". Tetnus shot !=Rabies shot.
 
2008-10-15 10:24:32 AM
That's why I have an attack cat to protect my home from evil squirrels wishing to do me harm.
 
2008-10-15 10:24:49 AM
That's no ordinary rodent!

Look at the bones!
 
2008-10-15 10:30:50 AM
He said the animal, which Garren estimated weighed 2 to 3 pounds, pounced on his head after he simulated a squirrel call to get its attention Sunday afternoon.

Garren walked away with several scratches on his face and head, and a newfound respect for a squirrel's agility.


I wonder what he said.
 
2008-10-15 10:37:21 AM
Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the squirrel I didn't catch?
It was the kind of squirrel you hate so much
It makes you angry
Still, you don't regret a single scratch
Ah squirrel
*ssssss*
Squirrel

It was the kind of squirrel who knocks you down
When friends are there, you feel a fool
When you click "I'm here for lichen"
It acts as if it's time for fightin'
It's cruel, cruel, cruel, cruel
Squirrel
*sssss*
Squirrel
 
2008-10-15 10:41:02 AM
Chariset: I wonder what he said.

My hovercraft is full of eels?
 
2008-10-15 10:42:07 AM
Parody source for the whippersnappers.
 
2008-10-15 10:45:25 AM
Gotta be careful with the tone marks!
 
2008-10-15 10:45:42 AM
"You might expect a mugging in the park, but not to be attacked by a tree rodent," the 34-year-old Springfield resident said Monday. "I never thought a squirrel could kick my (behind)."

He said the animal, which Garren estimated weighed 2 to 3 pounds, pounced on his head after he simulated a squirrel call to get its attention Sunday afternoon.

Garren walked away with several scratches on his face and head, and a newfound respect for a squirrel's agility.

"I think next time I'll keep my distance," he said.

As with any wild animal, squirrel attacks are possible but not common, said Greg Largent, director of operations for Sangamon County Animal Control.

"People encounter wildlife in a variety of situations, and you know wildlife is unpredictable, so who knows what the squirrel was thinking, but for whatever reason, it behaved that way," he said.

Garren said he's not exactly sure what provoked the attack.


I guess he wasn't in Army Intelligence.
 
2008-10-15 10:48:41 AM
He must've said something about the squirrel's nuts.
 
2008-10-15 11:07:48 AM
Go ahead, post the picture. You know wich one, you know you wan't to. I'm too tired.
 
2008-10-15 11:11:41 AM
img205.imageshack.us
 
2008-10-15 11:21:32 AM
"I think next time I'll keep my distance," he said."

And that's why they make these. (^)
 
2008-10-15 11:23:29 AM
Trust me.
Link (new window)
 
2008-10-15 11:27:37 AM
media.bigoo.ws
 
2008-10-15 12:22:56 PM
It takes balls to tell this story to the press. Semper fi.
 
2008-10-15 12:23:28 PM
Diogenes: Oh how I wish the GF had recorded it.

Glad he didn't need the rabies shot. But I found this curious:

Garren said he became concerned when he was told he might have to receive a rabies shot.

"As a retired military guy, I was still pretty nervous. But I'm not going to have to have one. I was current on all of my shots."

You get rabies shots in the military?


No, but he was stationed in the Philippines. He got rabies at least once a weekend.
 
2008-10-15 12:23:56 PM
i guess they'll take anyone in the Marine Corp, even a squirrel
 
2008-10-15 12:24:12 PM
Getting tea-bagged by a squirrel is not going to look good on his resume.
 
2008-10-15 12:26:35 PM
One purple heart for survival a roadside bomb makes one 'decorated'? Or even 'tough'?

His training makes him tough, not the medals.

And even with pre-exposure rabies vaccination, he still needs post-exposure shots to be safe. Well we'll know later when he dies or not.
 
2008-10-15 12:27:41 PM
If I saw that happen to somebody, I would be laughing too hard to help them.
 
2008-10-15 12:28:06 PM
Decorated? He probably got medals for typing and surfing. Probably put out his eye shooting paper clips too.
 
2008-10-15 12:28:23 PM
bighairyguy: Getting tea-bagged by a squirrel is not going to look good on his resume.

Annnnnnnnd that's spilled coffee at work.
hahaha
 
2008-10-15 12:28:44 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com
farm4.static.flickr.com
SQUIRREL!
 
2008-10-15 12:29:17 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com

Ready to attack!
 
2008-10-15 12:30:13 PM
OH MY GOD, I WAS AT THE PARK, AND I SAW THIS ARMY GUY AND HE WAS LIKE "YO MOTHERFUKKER--WWWWHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!1!eleventy!"
 
2008-10-15 12:30:43 PM
"I had to look for lichens and other fungus," he said.

Sounds like a fun guy
 
2008-10-15 12:32:02 PM
Did someone say...

Nevermind.

imgsrv.eagle969.com
 
2008-10-15 12:32:41 PM
gamesnet.vo.llnwd.net

Dude was a skirt. I kicked his arse in less then 10 seconds. Had my way with his women and then came back here. Don't mess me.
 
2008-10-15 12:33:41 PM
Did someone say...

Nevermind.


Ohhh that reminds me - the new CD comes out today!!!!
 
2008-10-15 12:33:51 PM
That dude's 34? He looks 50.
 
2008-10-15 12:33:56 PM
Don't mess with the squirrels!

i172.photobucket.com

jackhole.net

www.puromycin.co.uk
 
2008-10-15 12:34:29 PM
Cashew: Go ahead, post the picture. You know wich one, you know you wan't to. I'm too tired.

Wa not? I don't understand.
 
2008-10-15 12:34:45 PM
I rescued this little guy after hurricane Ike...I can attest to it having some sharp ass little claws.

i90.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-15 12:34:54 PM
dgc360: I guess he wasn't in Army Intelligence.

On the contrary, this fellow sounds exactly like somebody who would be doing Army Intelligence.
 
2008-10-15 12:34:58 PM
Diogenes: Oh how I wish the GF had recorded it.


I believe the squirrel's GF recorded it.

img13.imagehosting.gr
 
2008-10-15 12:35:02 PM
Pffff... pussy.

.j/k
 
2008-10-15 12:35:41 PM
Many years ago I lived in a house with a big front porch. One Halloween we put pumpkins out on the bannisters (basketball sized pumpkins). Day one we noticed that one of the pumpkins was disappearing...a huge chunk each day was gone. About five days in the only think left was the stem and the bottom rind. Then the other one started disappearing chunk by chunk. I eventually surprised the culprit... and it was the fattest squirrel I've ever seen. Seriously, this squirrel's belly dragged on the ground and it had fat rolls that hung over it's haunches. It could barely run away or climb a tree to escape. Anyway, if that squirrel launched itself out of a tree onto you, you'd be in trouble.

/secretly loved the fat squirrel
 
2008-10-15 12:36:25 PM
Willie: I heard you screamin' from all the way over there, and...
Leonard: I wasn't screamin', all right?
Willie: But I heard you...
Leonard: I wasn't screamin'! I was whistling!
Willie: You was whistling "Willie, help get this biatch off of me"?
Leonard: Yeah!

This seems appropriate for the 2nd time this week.
 
2008-10-15 12:37:31 PM
That's why you don't mess with my people.

We are legion.
 
2008-10-15 12:37:52 PM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-15 12:39:00 PM
www.funnyphotos.net.au
 
2008-10-15 12:41:48 PM
And people wonder why we are losing in Iraq.

/Maybe we should contract an army of squirrels to handle that quagmire.
//Does Cheney even own squirrels?
 
2008-10-15 12:43:10 PM
I have altercations with squirrels pretty regularly around my house. The red ones hang around drunk on fermented crab apples, the black ones run in and steal the peanuts we leave around as quickly as possible and the grey ones just chatter at me to stay out of their trees.
 
2008-10-15 12:44:03 PM
dgc360

Garren said he's not exactly sure what provoked the attack.


I guess he wasn't in Army Intelligence.

LOL!!
 
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