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(The Straight Dope)   So what sexual abilities are available to eunuchs?   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
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23106 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2003 at 12:40 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

149 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-01 07:15:36 PM  
Do they fantasize about teabagging?
2003-01-01 11:14:57 PM  
The highly ritualized operation is done without anesthetic. Two quick cuts are made, severing both testicles and penis. A stick is inserted to keep the urethra open for purposes of urination. No attempt is made to stanch the bleeding or stitch the wound, which is treated with hot sesame oil to prevent infection. Despite all this, one veteran castrator claims that out of 1,000 patients he lost only one.

Ooowwww! It hurts even to think about that!

2003-01-02 12:06:22 AM  
They can still snoodle, right? Right?!??!
2003-01-02 12:34:22 AM  
"So what sexual abilities are available to eunuchs?"

Ask LuckyCharms.
2003-01-02 12:44:02 AM  
I'd rather have warnings for stories that involve de-testiclization

thanks I'm going to put ice on my nuts now
2003-01-02 12:45:57 AM  
Hey, just because someone took away your bat and ball, doesn't mean that you can't be the waterboy.

I have no idea what that means. HAPPY NEW YEAR !

2003-01-02 12:46:47 AM  
I can't masturbate to that.
2003-01-02 12:46:57 AM  
so...if i cut my balls off, i might get laid?!?!? Hmmm, tought call....WHat if i just get a vasectomay?!??!
2003-01-02 12:47:16 AM  
As long as they can continue to FEEL THE POWER OF HULK-A-MANIA, brother!
2003-01-02 12:47:55 AM  
watching comes to mind.
2003-01-02 12:47:59 AM  
I'd rather have warnings for stories that involve de-testiclization

What do you think a eunuch is? :P

"Mum, Dad, they're going to make me unique!"

"Son, I think we need to have a talk."

"Kryten, we're going to do to Lister what Alexander the Great once did to me" - Rimmer, reincarnation of Alex's Chief Eunuch
2003-01-02 12:50:19 AM  
So what sexual abilities are available to eunuchs?

"watching" comes to mind.

Just in case I wasn't clear.
2003-01-02 12:50:39 AM  
This would be one way to keep my New Years resolutiona and make it safe for kittens once again. Does sound like it hurts. Would discourage masturbation.
2003-01-02 12:50:59 AM  
This is actually my master plan for defeating terrorism.
If you'd like to see Osama castrated, vote for me!
2003-01-02 12:51:01 AM  
GOOD LORD! Well, this certainly lays to rest all the speculation and bull that we put forth in the previous eunuch article. That being said.. I'm now convinced that two eunuch articles is two too many.
2003-01-02 12:51:44 AM  
The stick-in-the-urethra part sounds especially fun...
2003-01-02 12:53:15 AM  
Yeah, let loose, have some fun. Don't be a stick-in-the-urethra.
2003-01-02 12:55:45 AM  
Aaaaah yes. The ol' "stick-in-the-peehole gag".
2003-01-02 12:57:48 AM  
dear god....
2003-01-02 12:58:18 AM  
who cares?
2003-01-02 12:58:23 AM  
mmmm... I'm suddenly in the mood for some pie.
2003-01-02 12:59:10 AM  
"If you dont give me $11.50 im going to stick this straw right up your pee-hole"
2003-01-02 12:59:27 AM  
all that just to get a cusey goverment job?
2003-01-02 01:01:21 AM  
Damn, HulkHogan, I haven't seen you in awhile.
2003-01-02 01:02:00 AM  
mmmm... I'm suddenly in the mood for some pie

That's funny, because I'm in the mood to die after reading that.
2003-01-02 01:02:23 AM  
Remember that South Park episode when they're playing Truth or Dare, and Stan is dared to put that stick in his peehole? That was funny.
2003-01-02 01:03:17 AM  
Been a long hard three weeks in the gym, brother.
2003-01-02 01:03:31 AM  
"I got nothing."

-200 Farkers, and not less than 200,000 Indians
2003-01-02 01:06:09 AM  
Doctor, I rite you with problem. After sevration of my pennies, i feel burning sensation executed to the pennies damn it. Is problem?
2003-01-02 01:12:38 AM  
Damn, if these people want to live as females, but have to have their genitals cut off, why not do it in a manner that would allow them to have the sexual abilities of a woman? i.e. GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery)
2003-01-02 01:15:20 AM  
After gender reassignment surgery, is intercourse possible? Maybe that's a stupid question, but it seems like things would rip, I mean can those muscles take it?
2003-01-02 01:15:48 AM  

Because SIP-HT (Straw In Pee-Hole Technique) is cheaper.
2003-01-02 01:16:28 AM  
my guess would be

Gender Reassignment Surgery = expensive, long-term procedure conducted at one of a few hospitals that specialize in the procedure

cut off cock 'n' balls with knife, put stick in pee hole = quick and easy, can be performed with tools you have around the home
2003-01-02 01:19:51 AM  
Woodchipper: You mean creampie? Sorry I'm fresh out

2003-01-02 01:20:07 AM  
Moriarty, So I've heard, although apparantly sometimes the transsexuals who have the surgery lose the ability to acheive an orgasm, which would really suck.

Misterchill, yeah, I guess we do gotta take into account that all these Ethernopians cam't afford food, much less a 50k or so surgical procedure....

ProfessorGonad, yeah, but no painkillers? Leaving the wound open? All I can say, for lack of a better word is, "Motherf*cker!"
2003-01-02 01:21:44 AM  
I bet they ain't none too gentle with the puttin' the stick 'down there'....

That'd burn. I wonder how often they get urinary tract infections or 'tings o' 'dat sort...
2003-01-02 01:22:20 AM  
for the ones who still have weeners, how about testosterone treatment and/or viagara?
2003-01-02 01:23:08 AM  
It seems like just more ritual genital mutilation of infants for religious purposes.
2003-01-02 01:24:54 AM  
I figured ejaculation was completely out. I figured that if you wanted to be a woman, then just the act of having a man was the best you could get.
2003-01-02 01:24:57 AM  
2003-01-02 01:25:32 AM  
If you could get that much.
2003-01-02 01:25:34 AM  
chicks dig unix!
2003-01-02 01:26:16 AM  
It isnt performed on infants.
2003-01-02 01:26:36 AM  
Actually it isn't that expensive to get the op. The way I understand it, Thailand has a large population of ladyboys, and none of them have that much money. I think a lot of the plastic surgeons in Thailand are operating in volume. As a result they are very good at it and cheap. Trannies from all over the world go to them now. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that it would be available to Indian eunichs, especially if a lot of them, as the article says, are prostitutes.
2003-01-02 01:28:38 AM  
Wow, I stand corrected. They must just do it for the fun of it all, then.
2003-01-02 01:30:30 AM  
my question is...are any of them furries?
2003-01-02 01:31:15 AM  
Well, Moriarty, some transexuals look pretty damned feminen(spelling), as evidenced by a link Fragman posted to be a sick bastard in a thread a day or so ago.

Note: DO NOT LOOK AT THE LAST PIC if you do not want to be grossed out. NSFW, because of the last pic.
2003-01-02 01:31:48 AM  
er uh I meant plushies or whatever those stuffed animal humpers are called.
2003-01-02 01:32:13 AM  
2003-01-02 01:33:22 AM  
Yea, I saw that pic. I will never be the same.
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