knew a guy who lost his eye after getting hit with a beerbottle, shattered the bone around the eye. Fark: during a crack deal.

He doesn't see what you did there.

At least he won't have to worry about turning into a pillar of salt.

Al Bundy approves of the headline; will probably make it into a t-shirt.

That's impressive.

On the bright side, this guy has pretty much lost his reasoning to hang around a nudie bar at this point.

Why?

/DNRTFA

Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

All part of his cunning plan,

I see through touch girls,

"That guy was hittin on my woman!!!"

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Win.

I'm sure he must have been wearing his favorite "Please Punch Me in the Eye" shirt again that night...

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

He'll simply attend on Touchy Tuesdays.

Didn't his momma tell him if he did that too much he'd go blind?

I didn't know people still used the term "nudie bar"..

/hotlinked cuz daryl hannah's hot sometimes

There is just so much sadness and failure in that article that I don't know where to begin.

was it this guy

/hotlinkin

Reminds me of an old saying:
Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again.

I used to date a stripper so I am getting a kick out of this thread.

Tangential story. I read about a hobo (homeless person?) who lost his leg when he passed out on the rail road tracks. The article went on to say, you guessed it, it was not far from the spot where he passes out and lost his first leg.


/These two guys really need to meet.

mcsestretch: He doesn't see what you did there.

You complete me

I'll have to keep an eye out for that bar.

I bet this won't stop him from going on another blind date. Let's hope he doesn't believe in love at first sight.

It happens:

He should've seen that coming. Those titty bar ruffians better be on the lookout.

/approves

"She could put an eye out with those things!"

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.

Didn't see that one coming, did he?

hooray! First greenlight!

Well, knowing what I've heard about Mavericks, his experience will be vastly improved.



/proud subby

Pai Mei approves...

Maverick's?

Does not approve

Congrats anopheles.

Use caution, it can get addicting.

Eye Eye Capt'n!

Sorry, can't see the phrase "nudie bar" without thinking of this guy:



/where the girlies dance
//in their underpants
///at the nudie bar

Poke my eye out once, shame on you. Poke my eye out twice, I can't get any more eyes poked out!

/except teh browneye

mandingueiro: Fark: during a crack deal.

No. That isn't even Fark material.

My wife gave me a bday card with tassels on it, so I am really getting a kick OW MY EYE!

Some folk'll never lose both eyes in separate visits to a nudie bar, but than again some folk'll...

Like Cletus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel.

Someone drop a link to Fark in the comments section. I see some good recruits there.

If he was Superman he could have watched from a safe distance.


/with his x-ray vision

Lou Sir

What do you say to a guy with two missing eyes? Nothing you haven't already told him twice.

Ubu Roy: What do you say to a guy with two missing eyes?

Stay the hell out of Maverick's nudie bar.

JOHNDX: Congrats anopheles.

Use caution, it can get addicting.

Eye Eye Capt'n!

Thanks...

still waiting for the obligatory "The goggles, they do nothing!"

It must have been really cold in there.

MadAsshatter: Ubu Roy: What do you say to a guy with two missing eyes?

Stay the hell out of Maverick's nudie bar.

Sage words of wisdom, those.

RandomExcess

Tangential story. I read about a hobo (homeless person?) who lost his leg when he passed out on the rail road tracks. The article went on to say, you guessed it, it was not far from the spot where he passes out and lost his first leg.


/These two guys really need to meet.


How the heck will they manage to pull that together?

I guess bar-fight guy could use him as a seeing-eye hobo, or maybe they could go Master-Blaster style.

Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

His name is Scott Bennett. How appropriate.

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Gold

R.A.Danny: Is it safe to assume that this guy is wholly unlikable?
Seriously, I can be somewhat of an asshole when drinking (you are not surprised) and I haven't been in a fight in 20 years.

Who you calling an asshole???? You want to start something, bring it on fat boy.

I guess the eye bleach wasn't strong enough??

HOOTERS!HOOTERS!YUM,YUM,YUM!
HOOTERS!HOOTERS!ON A GIRL THAT'S DUMB!

Englebert Slaptyback: I guess bar-fight guy could use him as a seeing-eye hobo, or maybe they could go Master-Blaster style.

LOL.

The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

I believe you mean, GOLDIE and you are right about the shiner. I am sorry to say that I have witnessed this atrocity first hand.

/Goldie is a 60+ year old, ~235lb stripper who crushes beer cans and patrons faces with her endowments.
//Go once to say you've been.
///Con friend into "special dance" from Goldie

Having been there I'm guessing he asked someone to do it.

/the "talent" sucks
//probably just wanted to drink in peace

Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it.

rfoust: The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

I believe you mean, GOLDIE and you are right about the shiner. I am sorry to say that I have witnessed this atrocity first hand.

/Goldie is a 60+ year old, ~235lb stripper who crushes beer cans and patrons faces with her endowments.
//Go once to say you've been.
///Con friend into "special dance" from Goldie

It is Blondie. She actually had a comic book about her called the adventures of Blondie Strange.

carrion_luggage: Sorry, can't see the phrase "nudie bar" without thinking of this guy:



/where the girlies dance
//in their underpants
///at the nudie bar

Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut.
At the nudie bar!

the comments at the bottom of that article are hilarious

commenter wrote on Oct 14, 2008 3:21 PM:

" haha good one ryan. I agree. "



Again and Again wrote on Oct 14, 2008 2:46 PM:

" This bar needs to be CLOSED DOWN there is nothing good on the inside and trouble lingering outside. There is a nice gentlemans club over on 4th. "



Jenn wrote on Oct 14, 2008 2:09 PM:

" I know that violence never solves anything, but I guess it is the skeptic in me that must ask.. if this is the second eye this individual has lost in a fight at this same location...was it provoked??? "



CINDY wrote on Oct 14, 2008 1:50 PM:

" THAT BAR SHOULD OF BEEN CLOSED YEARS AGO. THE GIRLS IN THERE ARE DISGUSTING.! "



Ryan wrote on Oct 14, 2008 1:16 PM:

" I'm pretty sure that you would have to be blind to like the girls at Mavericks. "



wow wrote on Oct 14, 2008 12:44 PM:

" What are people thinking? Stay home and stay out of trouble. "



What they say wrote on Oct 14, 2008 12:35 PM:

" I guess the saying is true. if you look at that kind of stuff ( nudity) long enough, you will go blind. "


i know i'm not the first one to point this out. sew soux me.

KingoftheCheese: I live in sioux city. Mavericks is what we call "stripper's last stand". It is located in the rundown stockyards section of town. A couple years back, they introduced "masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer. Never been there, but it seems like a real classy place.

Thats pretty hot but I usually like to fap to girls with C-section scars.

Where you can't touch a breast,
but you can cave in your chest....


/the nudie bar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJLgeiqNL6M

/Approves
//Not a rick roll

Eye injury number 2?

RAH-RAH-RYE! PUNCH HIM IN THE EYE! RAH-RAH-RAS! PUNCH HIM IN THE OTHER EYE!

TAH of God,

No freakin way...

I would love to locate that comic. I have some friends in Atlanta that would really enjoy that.

Coulda sworn it was Goldie, but I am not returning for verification. The worst part is, that I was tricked into walking miles from midtown to get there by a very persuasive man in a motorized wheelchair. Oh well, I suppose it makes for a decent story.

My friends told me about a time they went to the nudie bar. They said one chick was pretty much full term pregnant and another one only had one arm.

The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

Yeah, there also used to be a club in Atlanta called the "Purple Onion" on Stewart Ave. that had a pretty bad reputation, too.

practice

spikedsynapse: was it this guy
/hotlinkin

did i miss hilarity in another thread?!!
link me!

One last pass at this thread...

"And now for the motion before us for me to stay away from this titty bar. Do I have any ayes? ... Nae? See you here next week then."

/sorry

KingoftheCheese: I live in sioux city. Mavericks is what we call "stripper's last stand". It is located in the rundown stockyards section of town. A couple years back, they introduced "masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer. Never been there, but it seems like a real classy place.

Wow, of all the countless strip bars I've been too in my life that's the first time I've heard of one featuring that. Guess there's always something more to live for.

The Angry Hand of God: KingoftheCheese: I live in sioux city. Mavericks is what we call "stripper's last stand". It is located in the rundown stockyards section of town. A couple years back, they introduced "masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer. Never been there, but it seems like a real classy place.

Thats pretty hot but I usually like to fap to girls with C-section scars.

Clermont Lounge has it all. *shudder*

There was an old strip club called the Cypress Lounge back when I was in high school that we called the Syphilis Lounge.

Clermont Lounge is like a Carney strip club.

bride_of_adam_cole: My friends told me about a time they went to the nudie bar. They said one chick was pretty much full term pregnant and another one only had one arm.

Sounds like a place I went to in Michigan. Can't remember the name of it, but it's in Decatur.

rfoust: The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

I believe you mean, GOLDIE and you are right about the shiner. I am sorry to say that I have witnessed this atrocity first hand.

/Goldie is a 60+ year old, ~235lb stripper who crushes beer cans and patrons faces with her endowments.
//Go once to say you've been.
///Con friend into "special dance" from Goldie

I went once, I wouldn't even recommend doing it just to say you've been. It's like poking yourself in the eye just to say you did it.

/witnessed said beer can crushing
//was not impressed

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Yes, it's called the Champagne Room...

PullItOut: Didn't his momma tell him if he did that too much he'd go blind?

Win.

As far as losing eyeballs goes, he won't have to worry about that anymore. Won't have to worry about nudie bars either.

I got a black eye from a stripper once. I was sitting back in my chair when she kicked me in the head with her 8 inch heels. She claimed that she usually wore shoes with less of a heel and just lost track of how big her shoe really was. That wasn't pleasnt at work the next day.

Telos: mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Yes, it's called the Champagne Room...

I thought the rule was, they can touch you but you can't touch them.

Arkanaut: mandingueiro: Fark: during a crack deal.

No. That isn't even Fark material.

That makes it LESS newsworthy.

KingoftheCheese: I live in sioux city. Mavericks is what we call "stripper's last stand". It is located in the rundown stockyards section of town. A couple years back, they introduced "masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer. Never been there, but it seems like a real classy place.

Oh god, that can't be real.
/From Davenport IA
//I don't think Sugars had breast cancer chicks
/Which would explain why I never went

This calls for an eyeronic tag. Zing!

Ah - "nudie" bar...

... For some reason, I read it as "noodle" bar and came expecting chopstick related injuries.

The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

Classy, classy joint. Got to love a strip club where the strippers have to feed change into the jukebox before they take the stage.

/The wife threw away the crushed PBR can Blondie gave me...

Best use of location in the name of a Nudie Bar.

icanhazsteak: I went once, I wouldn't even recommend doing it just to say you've been. It's like poking yourself in the eye just to say you did it.

/witnessed said beer can crushing
//was not impressed

Aw, but have you seen her do the matchstick trick? She puts one through each pierced nipple and swings them around like propellers until the match lights. It's surreal. Totally did not know what I was lookin' at...

anopheles: hooray! First greenlight!

Well, knowing what I've heard about Mavericks, his experience will be vastly improved.



/proud subby

As someone who recently got his first greenlight, I'm getting a kick out of this reply.

/don't submit a headline and then drink and watch football
//you will miss the entire thread
///pissed about that, but still proud
/congrats subby

I mean until both matches light. Propellers alight! Whatta sight!

jdjackson31: On the bright side, this guy has pretty much lost his reasoning to hang around a nudie bar at this point.

On the contrary... now he gets to see with his hands. Probably a federal regulation that would require it as "equal access".

It's alvays cold in Siberia

A nude bar in the American midwest?

That sounds positively horrific

First thought, lecherous blind guy people apparently don't like

I know people who get in fights all the time. Who the hell loses an eye like that, much less two eyes?

Did he have like giant, bulging, googlie eyes to begin with? If so maybe he should have been wearing some safety goggles.

Were_Outta_Bort_License_Plates: icanhazsteak: I went once, I wouldn't even recommend doing it just to say you've been. It's like poking yourself in the eye just to say you did it.

/witnessed said beer can crushing
//was not impressed

Aw, but have you seen her do the matchstick trick? She puts one through each pierced nipple and swings them around like propellers until the match lights. It's surreal. Totally did not know what I was lookin' at...

If i ever witnessed that i would want to lose the vision in both of my eyes - the only thing that would stop me from gouging my eyes out would be the fear that the last image I ever saw might become permanently etched into the blackness of my non-seeing world.

"masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer.


Dear Lord. I thought I had been to the worlds worst nudie bar (it's an old gas station in Hattisburg MS), but that is beyond the pale.

I must go at once.

When I saw Lawton, I got my hopes up that it would in Oklahoma at the Golden Dragon.

at the nudie bar
where you can look at a thigh
and blacken an eye
at the nudie bar


at the nudie bar
where they show you their butt
and their trap stays shut
at the nudie bar


at the nudie bar
where you can't touch a breast
but you can cave in a chest,
at the nudie bar


at the nudie bar
where the girlies dance
in their underpants
at the nudie bar


at the nudie bar
Where the music stinks,
and they water the drinks.
The nudie bar


at the nudie bar
Where the beer gives you gas
But the Bundy's KICK ASS.
the nudie bar

Scott Bennett was reported working on a country song entitled "Can I do it 'til I need glasses"? or was it glass eyes?

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Only when the air conditioning is on

48 and still getting into fights at titty bars?

Hm. I've seen two eyes lost in bar fights but it was two separate guys.

One guy got a pool cue to the eye in Fayetteville, and another guy got one kicked out in a sort of cowboys-vs-truck drivers thing.

Note to self: it's a surprisingly bad idea for rodeo guys to go to a trucker bar after the event, I'd have thought that would have mixed well, but alas, no.

My idea of a good bar fight is one where I'm leaving by the back way just before it cranks off. These things never go like a John Wayne movie.

drat,I thought somehow one of the dancer did it with a performance

shrthrdude: On the upside at least he gets another tax exemption...

I assume you do, but do you still get workmen's comp if it's something you basically do to yourself like this? Or if it's a result of a crime?

jdjackson31: On the bright side, this guy has pretty much lost his reasoning to hang around a nudie bar at this point.

No, I think it's part of a cunning plan to get one of the seats they reserve for blind patrons, who are the *only* patrons allowed to appreciate the show by BRAILLE!

Doktor Merkwrdiglieben
Some folk'll never lose both eyes in separate visits to a nudie bar, but than again some folk'll...

I came here for that reference and was not disappointed.

You have to look on the bright side, no one would punch a blind guy, so he'll have time enough, at last, to watch the strippers uninterrupted.

At least the second to last thing he saw were some titties!

Barakku: shrthrdude: On the upside at least he gets another tax exemption...

I assume you do, but do you still get workmen's comp if it's something you basically do to yourself like this? Or if it's a result of a crime?

Only if he worked there. It's for when you get hurt on the job. I don't think they cover bar fights if you don't work for the bar.

fal!

His mother warned him.

EsteeFlwrPot: Why?

/DNRTFA

Apparently he had 2 glass eyes.
/in boxing, having a glass jaw means you break you jaw easy, and or cannot bob or weave.
So he had 2 glass eyes.
He should replace them with marble marbles.
Or Nuticles.

At least it can't happen to him again.

/DRTFA, but the Pixies were a great band.

KingoftheCheese: I live in sioux city. Mavericks is what we call "stripper's last stand". It is located in the rundown stockyards section of town. A couple years back, they introduced "masectamy mondays" where they featured girls who had lost one or both breasts to cancer. Never been there, but it seems like a real classy place.

I was afraid to open the article. And also left wondering if the strippers there were fugly enough to make you go blind. Thanks for clearing that up.

erewhon:
Note to self: it's a surprisingly bad idea for rodeo guys to go to a trucker bar after the event, I'd have thought that would have mixed well, but alas, no.





Ha ! That reminds me of the movie "Shakes the Clown ". The party clowns tried to go to a rodeo clown bar with hilarious results !

rfoust 2008-10-14 04:52:35 PM
The Angry Hand of God: Just go here, ask for a lapdance from Blondie. You might not lose an eye but you will definetely have at least a shiner.

I believe you mean, GOLDIE and you are right about the shiner. I am sorry to say that I have witnessed this atrocity first hand.

/Goldie is a 60+ year old, ~235lb stripper who crushes beer cans and patrons faces with her endowments.
//Go once to say you've been.
///Con friend into "special dance" from Goldie

From Wiki:

The Clermont Lounge is Atlanta's first and longest continually-operating strip club, opened in 1965. Located in the basement of the Clermont Motor Hotel at 789 Ponce De Leon Avenue, in the Poncey-Highland neighborhood. The Clermont has survived multiple attempts at being closed by the Atlanta city government, and has established a nationwide reputation for its kitschy atmosphere and unusual dancers. The Clermont has been featured on an episode of Insomniac with Dave Attell, and celebrities including Marilyn Manson and Kid Rock have been known to visit the Clermont when in Atlanta. Visitors to the Clermont usually alternate between a few handfuls of regulars and large numbers of college students, newcomers to town, and tourists lured in by tales of the Clermont's myriad charms.

The Clermont does not serve food or draft beer. The single stripper's stage is located in the middle of a circular bar, and the dancers choose their own songs on the in-house jukebox, as the club normally does not have an actual DJ, except for Saturday nights when DJ Romeo Cologne packs the club spinning Dance Party Funk since 1995. The Clermont is perhaps best-known for featuring some dancers who do not meet the traditional physical standards for strippers, the most famous of whom is Blondie, noted for her ability to completely flatten empty beer cans between her breasts as well as for her poetry.

/I call Shenanigans
//Was your next stop Taco Bell?
///UltraFail

Your_Dog:
The Clermont is perhaps best-known for featuring some dancers who do not meet the traditional physical standards for strippers, the most famous of whom is Blondie, noted for her ability to completely flatten empty beer cans between her breasts as well as for her poetry.

Okay. I'm actually intrigued. Not aroused, but then my sole venture to a strip club featured women a LOT more attractive than Blondie, and that didn't really generate any actual wood either. Seen one stripper vulva, you've pretty much seen 'em all.

bride_of_adam_cole
My friends told me about a time they went to the nudie bar. They said one chick was pretty much full term pregnant and another one only had one arm.

I am going to go out on a limb here (ha ha) and assume that you have no idea how incredibly hot that is.

This guy might have something to do with it.

/shamelessly ReBooted hotlinked

I have witness the debauchary that is "Mavericks" and I will quote my friend. "you can get more for your money there", which is no lie but still if you want classy girls in high heels to dance for you I would have to say its not in Sioux City and as far as anywhere you need to pay cover for those that have class.

Glad I wasn't the first, but nonetheless!!!

Approves

spikedsynapse: was it this guy

/hotlinkin

I recognize that as an America Online ID badge. ACK!

mybabysmomma: Do nudie bars have a special braille section?

Why do you think they always have free peel-and-eat shrimp at those places? It's better than a scratch-and-sniff card.

People actually do that? They actually pay real money to see that thing?

Meant to add that I would pay twice as much if she came on stage starkers and put an item of clothing on every time I gave her five bucks. Jeez. Pigs call her a pig.

Not mine, but still relevant...

On the chest of a barmaid from Sale
Was tattooed the prices of ale
Whilst on her behind
For sake of the blind
Was precisely the same, but in Braille.

/thank you, Captain Peacock

probably the first submission worthy of a shirt since they started puttin that little picture of one next to the headlines

spikedsynapse: was it this guy

/hotlinkin

is that guys name Jordan?

I worked with him lol.

Now that's how you get pink eye lose an eye!

EYE, EYE, EYE !

I remember when I was just a wee lad, throwing down $2 at a time, (rookie move.) I noticed my buddy Ed, sitting next to me, still had a fat wad of ones after about 30 minutes. I caught him sliding one of my dollar bills in front of him when the girl came and collected. I asked him how long he'd been doing that. He started cracking up. The whole time. Aaaahhh... the nudie bar.

BDR459: anopheles: hooray! First greenlight!

Well, knowing what I've heard about Mavericks, his experience will be vastly improved.



/proud subby

As someone who recently got his first greenlight, I'm getting a kick out of this reply.

/don't submit a headline and then drink and watch football
//you will miss the entire thread
///pissed about that, but still proud
/congrats subby

I'm still beaming at how wonderful this thread has been... Too bad commuting and kids made sure I miss most of the tail end...

At least now I know I'm not the only Sioux City Farker...

there is not enough eyebleach in the world to cure what is at the clarmont. Got taken there on b-day after getting severely drunk all around midtown. got scared sober real quick

Gyrfalcon: bride_of_adam_cole: My friends told me about a time they went to the nudie bar. They said one chick was pretty much full term pregnant and another one only had one arm.

Damn, how desperate do you guys have to be to get off on a pregnant stripper?

I think that costs extra.

If thine right eye offends thee...

WOW- never thought the day would come when I would actually know somebody that made it on fark. RYAN BRODIE. I know that guy , what a loser. Sioux City Farkers unite!