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(Some Guy)   All day Star Trek marathon on TNN today. Wil says 'Five Assed Monkey People' over and over   (thenewtnn.com) divider line 134
    More: Wheaton  
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4648 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2002 at 2:23 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



134 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2002-12-31 02:24:47 PM
weee
 
2002-12-31 02:24:52 PM
I LOVE BOOOOBIES!!!
happy 2003 to everyone
 
2002-12-31 02:25:02 PM
darn the 5 assed monkeys. darn yous all.
 
2002-12-31 02:25:21 PM
So who'd win in a knock-down drag-out barfight?

Kirk or Picard?
 
2002-12-31 02:25:29 PM
Wil makes me itch.
 
2002-12-31 02:26:05 PM
i dont give a fark
 
2002-12-31 02:26:50 PM
They're the crappy ones, except for Wrath of Khan. and who cares what people say... voyage home sucked.
 
2002-12-31 02:27:04 PM
Ironbar--you've opened Pandora's Box on that one
 
2002-12-31 02:27:36 PM
so let me get this right....
the aliens traveled several thousand light years in thier craft far suprior to anything we can grasp, and were then defeated by rednecks with shotguns?
 
2002-12-31 02:27:53 PM
Where was Wesley Crusher in Nemesis when DATA needed some help? Good friend you are, Wil.
 
2002-12-31 02:28:19 PM
can someone record it and put it on kazaa?
 
2002-12-31 02:28:25 PM
Let's take a poll: best Star Trek movie so far?

I say #4. Whales in Space, it doesn't get any better than that.
 
2002-12-31 02:28:26 PM
never mind my last post, wrong window, mods please delete.
 
2002-12-31 02:28:30 PM
Picard could out Captain Kirk but I think Kirk would win in a punching match :p
 
2002-12-31 02:29:31 PM
Star Trek NG = TNN ; 7 of 9 = T&A
 
2002-12-31 02:30:01 PM
Tadpole: Writhing on the editing room floor, poor guy.

They even gave Kate Mulgrew lines - and she sounds like she started smoking in the crib.
 
2002-12-31 02:30:08 PM

5-assed monkey? Someone want to explain that one.

Pircard.

 
2002-12-31 02:31:38 PM
What the hell is going on? I checked my satellite TV guide and it shows only V.I.P. for the rest of today on TNN. I live in canada, and I use starchoice, so that might have something to do with it. Again, what the hell?
 
2002-12-31 02:31:48 PM
My favorite part of Star Trek is when Luke and Vader fight on that platform. But I always get confused, is Kirk a Jedi?
 
2002-12-31 02:31:57 PM
Can Picard do this?
 
2002-12-31 02:32:30 PM
So who'd win in a knock-down drag-out barfight?

Kirk or Picard?


Picard. He was in a barfight, stabbed through the HEART with about an 18 inch knife, and lived. Picard has kicked some serious ass in TNG. Sure, Kirk probalby got in MORE fights, but Picard is much smarter. It's like pitting Han Solo in a fight against Indiana Jones. Jones would win.
 
2002-12-31 02:32:45 PM
Geeze, I thought it was going to be a marathon of original episodes. That I might watch.
 
2002-12-31 02:32:59 PM
Let's take a poll: best Star Trek movie so far?

Starship Troopers
 
2002-12-31 02:33:02 PM
When they go to commercial they have former cast talking about Star Trek. Wheaton says something about five assed monkey people invading during one of those.
 
2002-12-31 02:34:03 PM
Ironbar Are we talking young Kirk or old out of shape tub of goo Kirk? Either way I'd have to lean towards Picard except I think he's supposed to be French so he does have that going against him. Very tough question.
 
2002-12-31 02:34:05 PM
I believe #6 was the best movie, if calculated only on the shear merit of hackneyed Shakespeare quotin'.
 
2002-12-31 02:34:41 PM
I didn't know this until after the fact, but apparently Kate Mulgrew is married to the guy who got his ass kicked in Ohio's recent gubernitorial election.
 
2002-12-31 02:35:08 PM
Kirk or Picard?

Picard. He was in a barfight, stabbed through the HEART with about an 18 inch knife, and lived. Picard has kicked some serious ass in TNG.

Bah. They fought the same guy in the first TNG movie. Picard got his ass handed to him. Kirk pounded the guy.

'Nuff said.
 
2002-12-31 02:35:57 PM
Admittedly I was piss drunk at the time, but last night while watching TNN, I actually heard Wheaton say "Attacked by the five assed monkey people" and laughed so hard I nearly lost bladder control.


If he's this funny at home his wife is gonna get a little new year present from me:
 
2002-12-31 02:36:06 PM
I saw Nemesis the other day and I didn't think Wil's appearance was that unexplainable. I mean, so he's travelling the universe, goes home for a wedding, and takes off again. What's the problem?

I can't believe I just said that.
/dork mode
 
2002-12-31 02:36:29 PM
. I still love the original.
 
2002-12-31 02:36:39 PM
What's up with TNN, it's either ST:NG, RealTV or VIP marathons.
 
2002-12-31 02:37:55 PM
And I just found this out NOW?!?!?!

::Goes to watch TV::
 
2002-12-31 02:38:02 PM
Vidalsasoon

The 007 Days of Christmas.
 
2002-12-31 02:38:44 PM
while watching TNN, I actually heard Wheaton say "Attacked by the five assed monkey people" and laughed so hard I nearly lost bladder control.

I had a similar reaction, followed by "I wonder if this will show up on WWDN, and how long it will take to get to FARK".
 
2002-12-31 02:39:17 PM
I think in the next movie, they will find Kirk's toupee in some of Picard's stuff. Then, Picard (when by himself) will put on the toupee and he'll turn into Kirk.

They were the same person the whole time!!!

They will then explain that the Generations movie was a dream that Dr. McCoy had after drinking too much romulan ale.
 
2002-12-31 02:39:23 PM
Vidalsasoon - Cant forget the super gay Slamball
 
2002-12-31 02:39:40 PM
Bah...just checked TNN and found out that the "marathon" is movie 2 thru 5 all chopped up by commercial breaks and taking three hours each to air.
 
2002-12-31 02:40:02 PM
Kirk would stomp a mudhole in Picards froggie @ss then go have sex with councilor Troy. Kirk ruled.
 
2002-12-31 02:40:24 PM
Infanticide As for the origional movie series, here are my rankings:
1. VI
2. II
3. III
4. I
5. IV
6. V

VI 'Undisovered Country' is still better than II, 'Wrath of Kahn'
 
2002-12-31 02:40:44 PM
 
2002-12-31 02:41:17 PM
It's buggered in Canada. I was hoping for the Bond marathon over christmas but it was all picket fences.

I would have to go for Wrath of Khan as the best trek movie
 
2002-12-31 02:41:38 PM
As an official representative of the five-assed monkey people, I warn you that we are deeply offended, and we are on our way to kick your underrepresented asscheeks, beginning with Wil's.
 
2002-12-31 02:41:58 PM
Kirk Vs. Picard: Regardless of age, isn't Kirk physically debilitated from some kind of green space herpes?

 
2002-12-31 02:42:31 PM

Khan is laughing or constipated....not sure which.
 
2002-12-31 02:43:10 PM
Yeah, I know I opened up a Pandora's Box, but I think it's a good question.

Kirk fought the Gorn, and his best friend.
 
2002-12-31 02:43:56 PM
Sinatra: I would love to catch a few episodes of the animated Trek. I loved the music in those!
 
2002-12-31 02:44:05 PM
TNN trying to escape it's Country Roots. It needs a show like Full Metal Challenge on TLC. It is multicultural competition at it's best. Did anyone see the sad China team with their 2 cylinder Tractor?
 
2002-12-31 02:44:33 PM
Wow Sinatra, Scotty has been hitting the space Soloflex!

Gimme $20 that the cartoon Scotty can take both Kirk and Picard in a cage match.
 
2002-12-31 02:44:55 PM
 
2002-12-31 02:45:05 PM
I know, dammit! Where was the montly Bond marathon? Arrgh.

Mookraker, the people demand Moonraker!
 
2002-12-31 02:45:13 PM
Forsythe P. Jones owes me a new keyboard.
 
2002-12-31 02:45:28 PM
**ironbar**

Picard would bore Kirk to death.

Picard could also die of old age waiting for Kirk to finish his sentence.

A Wash?
 
2002-12-31 02:46:37 PM
Gatortarheel: Ooo - how about making Kirk's toup mutate into the King of the Tribbles?
 
2002-12-31 02:47:15 PM
12-31-02 02:34:03 PM Dr Tad Winslow


Suspend the laws of time and space and let's say when both of them were in top physical condition.
 
2002-12-31 02:47:19 PM
Moonraker can lick my ass as the worst Bond movie EVAR.

can anyone explain the TNN weirdness in the Great White North? The people demand answers!
 
2002-12-31 02:47:21 PM
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home sucksdonkey balls. I know it was the most profitable, but golly, it's so frickin' stupid (not to mention pathetically dated). Besides, any Trekkie/Trekker knows that Wrath of Kahn is the best of the original cast's films.
 
2002-12-31 02:47:49 PM
Gatortarheel: OMG, I laughed so hard I made a fool of myself in the office! That was priceless!
 
2002-12-31 02:49:06 PM
Oh my.
 
2002-12-31 02:51:18 PM
12-31-02 02:45:28 PM Kevra


Or Picard would be talking about books in French while Kirk was picking up all the ladies.
 
2002-12-31 02:54:37 PM
**Ironbar**

Or trying to figure out how many lights there are
 
2002-12-31 02:56:55 PM
I SEE FOUR LIGHTS!
 
2002-12-31 02:58:01 PM
Irascible
Khan & Rod Stewart: separated at birth?
 
2002-12-31 02:58:45 PM
Roche

Good reference. I think Picard hooked up (sort of) with the hottest of the hotties in the episode where some woman made herself his perfect partner.
 
2002-12-31 02:59:28 PM
Kirk was best pals with a Vulcan, Picard had an effeminate robot.
 
2002-12-31 03:00:19 PM
She was hot, and not nearly as annoying as that one crew member he hooked with that kept wanting to play music with him. That is quite possibily one of the worst episodes.
 
2002-12-31 03:03:40 PM
My favorite line from Dr. Spock is:

"There is no try. Only do."
 
2002-12-31 03:03:57 PM
I doubt Kirk could ever be hoodwinked into being assimilated by the Borg, either.
 
2002-12-31 03:04:15 PM
Wrath of Khan was best, if only for the fine corinthian leather interiors.
 
2002-12-31 03:04:49 PM

I guess ol' Wesley Crusher never had to tangle with the fearsome and warlike four-arsed monkey!
 
2002-12-31 03:07:48 PM
12-31-02 02:47:15 PM Ironbar

Kirk. I think he'd fight pretty dirty, you know, eye-gouging, nut sqeezing, groin kicking...stuff like that.
 
2002-12-31 03:10:48 PM


"Jolene, any idea where our careers have gone?"
 
2002-12-31 03:11:21 PM
12-31-02 03:07:48 PM Dr Tad Winslow


Picard is a fencer, I think, too, which would not help him in a brawl with Kirk.
 
2002-12-31 03:12:44 PM
Gatortarheel and Roche, I do believe you're talking about Ms. Jean Grey herself, Famke Janssen. (I didn't img src the pic, because it's large and I don't want to kill the site it's on.)
 
2002-12-31 03:15:25 PM
As long as I'm nerding out, Famke Janssen was the first choice of Jadzia Dax on DS9. I know Terry Ferrell is hot, but I would have really liked to see Famke in that role. Mmm.
 
2002-12-31 03:15:46 PM
Its kinda pathetic (a.k.a extremely pathetic) to say this but, in Nemesis, I almost cried because of Data(if you know what i'm talking about good for you)
 
2002-12-31 03:18:21 PM
Yeah, but Straws, Starfleet has a good IT policy. They always backup their data.
 
2002-12-31 03:19:12 PM


"Frenchman onscreen, Captain."
 
2002-12-31 03:19:23 PM
PlastiqueJeebus, I'm going to have to hurt you for that. Hold still...
 
2002-12-31 03:21:54 PM
Somebody needs to tell me what putting an "emotion chip" in a synthetic accomplishes.
 
2002-12-31 03:29:38 PM
Famke Janssen was also a bond girl. Xenia Onatopp.
 
2002-12-31 03:30:21 PM
Kirk would drown his wife in a pool while Picard grew a beard for a tv miniseries.
 
2002-12-31 03:30:27 PM
Straws, Its kinda pathetic (a.k.a extremely pathetic) to say this but, in Nemesis, I almost cried because of Data(if you know what i'm talking about good for you).

Why? It's not like there can be any doubt how that little problem will resolve.

 
2002-12-31 03:34:10 PM
Please...Data is easy to bring back, now being regenereted on the Genesis planet and returning to Vulcan for an ancient mind meld/transfer ceremony is much more ballsy.
 
2002-12-31 03:34:49 PM
Regenerated?
 
2002-12-31 03:34:52 PM
Canadian TNN Goofiness:

This is just speculation on my part, but I believe that the Canadian broadcast rights to some movies was purchased by other broadcasters (look for Star Trek movies on Space: The Imagination Station, for example), so TNN can't show those in Canada. The 'alternate' programming is spliced in by your local cable or satellite company, in order to conform with CRTC regulations.

I notice that it only happens with TNN, and only with movies, so their license may be a unique one in Canada.
 
2002-12-31 03:35:21 PM
Yeah, but it won't be the same, Flignir. There went all his experiences that made him Data, for crissake. Can't replace those. It's like they have to start all over.

Yeah, Straws, I got a lump in my throat too. Surprised myself, I did.
 
2002-12-31 03:41:06 PM
Don't even get me started on how Nemesis is basically a retelling of Wrath of Kahn. Except much, much, much worse.
 
2002-12-31 03:42:08 PM
Argh, what I mean to say, of course, was, "Khan".

KHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!
 
2002-12-31 03:42:30 PM
I notice Wil has thongs for the ladies on his site, now.

Excellent product, I must say.
 
2002-12-31 03:43:33 PM
12-31-02 03:11:21 PM Ironbar

If worse came to worse, Kirk could rip off his tupee and beat Picard to death with it.
 
2002-12-31 03:44:31 PM
Unyon : Can I blame it on the CRTC?

PlastiqueJeebus : You're right on the Wrath of Khan/Nemesis thing. There are even scenes where you can see where Nemesis was "inspired" by Khan.

Yes, I am a big loser
 
2002-12-31 03:44:33 PM
I think Khan was cannier than Shinzon is, though. Khan made do with what he had, and could think his way out of many problems.

Shinzon had a mental reference library of everything Picard, which gave him a huge advantage.
 
2002-12-31 03:50:12 PM
Star Trek: Free Willy - worst ST movie ever.
 
2002-12-31 03:52:04 PM
Yeah, but it won't be the same, Flignir. There went all his experiences that made him Data, for crissake. Can't replace those. It's like they have to start all over.

All the experiences that made him Data were downloaded into the retard version of Data. It's just information, nothing special lost at all.
 
2002-12-31 03:52:08 PM
Athena: Yeah, but it won't be the same, Flignir. There went all his experiences that made him Data, for crissake. Can't replace those. It's like they have to start all over.

But they did download all of Data's experiences into B4. The only thing he doesn't have is memory of half of the whole Reman episode. Obviously, a way will be found to make B4 "evolve" in Star Trek XI, if profits allow for such a picture.

 
2002-12-31 03:55:28 PM
Of course there will be another Data. Dr. Soong made like 20 androids before he got it down right.
 
2002-12-31 03:56:47 PM
I think Khan was cannier than Shinzon is, though. Khan made do with what he had, and could think his way out of many problems.

he's genetically engineered, so he's smarter. i like Khan, resourceful. but like kirk says, he thinks in 2 dimensional during ship battle.
i dont think shinzon is a formidable enemy, it's his ship with 52 disruptors + 27 torpedo bays + primary/secondary shield.. not the person. but khan... with a small reliant vessel he could match the enterprise.
 
2002-12-31 03:59:33 PM
Forsythe P. Jones' animation isn't Kirk is it? I think It's Joe Cocker.
 
2002-12-31 04:03:17 PM
I finally saw the Wil say the 5 assed monkey people thing....I would request that Wil tell us if that was scripted, or if he came up with that himself.
 
2002-12-31 04:10:01 PM
Well, since we've already dropped the spoiler bomb and opened up nerd discussions, I'm wondering: when Picard rammed the Enterprise into that Reman vessel, did he kill hundreds of crew families in the saucer/habitat section, or did I miss an excuse for why that was cleared out?
 
2002-12-31 04:11:28 PM
12-31-02 03:56:47 PM Gudel


Yeah...Shinzon did have a massive amount of firepower to bring to bear, and the disruptors will get you every time.

Khan's weak point could have been his ego(well, it was in the end), but when he said his "genetically engineered mind is vastly superior", you knew he meant it. Khan didn't lie, or strut like a peacock, he didn't have to.
 
2002-12-31 04:12:41 PM
Are my eyes playing tricks, or did Fark go down for about a minute and then the font changed?
 
2002-12-31 04:16:54 PM
PlastiqueJeebus:

I don't know anything about the "going down" part, but the font is different....
 
2002-12-31 04:17:16 PM
Flignir - I think he was prepared to kill some to save the rest. Remember, humanity was going to be destroyed unless they stopped the clone.

PlastiqueJeebus - New font for me also
 
2002-12-31 04:23:21 PM
"Bah. They fought the same guy in the first TNG movie. Picard got his ass handed to him. Kirk pounded the guy."

What movie were YOU watching? Kirk DIED. And Picard was the one who blew up the crazy scientist by celverly locking the clamps on the missile causing it to explode when it tried to fire.

All Kirk did was fall off a catwalk.
 
2002-12-31 04:25:10 PM
Gatortarheel:
I haven't seen that pic since back in the 2400 baud BBS days! I think that pic is over a decade old!
Ahh meeemoryyyys
 
2002-12-31 04:28:18 PM
Further to Unyon's post and sort of in response to a few other posters, there is a Star Trek movie marathon on tomorrow in Canada on Space. The first 6 movies so it sounds better than this one.
 
2002-12-31 04:39:19 PM
 
2002-12-31 04:50:32 PM
And the hosers emerge victorious once again!
 
2002-12-31 04:58:07 PM
"We can be attacked by the five-assed monkey people and...and it's okay!"
 
2002-12-31 05:03:58 PM
when Picard rammed the Enterprise into that Reman vessel, did he kill hundreds of crew families in the saucer/habitat section, or did I miss an excuse for why that was cleared out?

i wonder the same thing, since he didn't clear those decks. but then again he did say battle station, so i assume everone is ready for impact, that include clearing off ten forward.
 
2002-12-31 05:07:17 PM

when Picard rammed the Enterprise into that Reman vessel, did he kill hundreds of crew families in the saucer/habitat section, or did I miss an excuse for why that was cleared out?


Everyone knows that the forward decks are where the 'Red Shirts' live. It's not like it really mattered.
 
2002-12-31 05:14:45 PM
NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS
 
wil [TotalFark]
2002-12-31 05:49:31 PM
I came up with it entirely on my own, by stealing the joke from South Park.

They had scripted stuff, but we ignored it. I've done interviews for them before, and we had more fun going way off the script.

Oh, and I think Kirk would win, but Picard would have the more poetic death speech.
 
2002-12-31 06:14:15 PM
Wow....Wil answered a question from me, and ended the age old debate, all in one post! Dreams do come true!
 
2002-12-31 06:28:25 PM
TNN has old eps of American Gladiators, show a marathon of that!
 
2002-12-31 06:53:20 PM
Scripting does suck, I agree. That's why I am such a Robin Williams/improv fan.
 
2002-12-31 07:28:18 PM
Star trek is good just tell my why you and tasha yar had to do the nancy regaen say no to drugs speech. In the one episode with the one planet as the other planets drug dealers.
 
wil [TotalFark]
2002-12-31 07:36:31 PM
When Tasha and Wesley had that conversation, they were sooooo farked up.

Watch it again. It's subtle, and very subersive.
 
2002-12-31 08:01:12 PM
You've made my day, hell, you've made my year with that one.

Thanks Wil, all that stuff people say about you, none of it's true.
 
2002-12-31 08:09:02 PM
Why should I watch them there ST movies. Wil ain't in 'em. I'm staging a protest.

Wait... (clips out a picture of Wil in red floral shirt and pastes on screen)... That's better.

Now in Wil-O-vision!

Any chance you could sit here and constantly nitpick about the movies as we watch them Wil? It'd be like having a commentary track. I'm sure you have nothing better to do. :)
 
2002-12-31 09:23:56 PM
Imagine the stampede onto this thread that would ensue.
 
wil [TotalFark]
2002-12-31 09:30:57 PM
I can't believe I haven't said this yet:

"Five assed monkey people!"
 
2002-12-31 09:32:49 PM
Wil Wheaton and the "five assed monkey people" I smell the first Fark cliche' of 2003.
 
2002-12-31 09:59:05 PM
They should write a book or make a made for TV movie about it or something.
 
2002-12-31 11:13:11 PM
Saw Star Trek Nemisis, Don't feel like i got my fill of Wheaton--what a crock of crap. Well anyway, Wil, if your still alive-how old were you when you did "Stand by Me" (thanks to you, i passed my test in contemporary lit on "The Body" by Stephen King)
 
2003-01-01 02:09:11 AM
Weird, I just started watching all of the Old skool ST's my dad recorded back in 1990. A also saw The Wrath of Khan yesterday. Must be something in the water.

My question is did they use the grill/airduct/1 lbs weed combonation to get everyone high on that Next Generation Episode where Wil saves the day (high as a farkin kite).
 
2003-01-01 02:11:36 AM
There accually used to be a customer at a old colo facility that I used to work for that ran a Quake 2 server called 5assedmonkey.com. Passed many a hour on that server during the graveyard shift.
 
2003-01-01 02:12:29 AM
Wait a minute, if they had a grill on the enterprise, than WTF was all that food replication crap for?

This mystery just took a turn for the worst.
 
2003-01-01 02:24:01 AM
Heh, I just remembered playing on a fiveassedmonkey server before, only it was Counterstrike.

5 asses + 1 Monkey = 1.3 hours of Americas Funniest Animals
 
2003-01-01 07:44:43 AM
Screw the ST marathon - TNN is running Black Sunday this morning! Now THAT movie rocks.
 
2003-01-01 07:50:29 AM
Correction: Black Sunday is on tonight. And TRIO has a classic, NBC-days Late Night with Davis Letterman marathon! B O N A N Z A !
 
2003-01-01 06:14:01 PM
farkers last post I claim the five assed female monkeys for my own pleasure
*I SAID BACK THAT ASS UP*
 
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