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(BBC)   "You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you"   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 96
    More: Scary  
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21765 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2008 at 4:33 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-10-11 11:17:15 AM  
That gazebo is dynamite!

+1
 
2008-10-11 11:30:26 AM  
Perfect use of the quote. A +1 to you sir.
 
2008-10-11 11:33:34 AM  
Nice headline. +1 ;)
 
2008-10-11 11:38:25 AM  
Gazebo's rarely hurt people if they're not teased.
 
2008-10-11 01:48:09 PM  
But...but...but... ITS A GAZEBO!!!?!?!?!?!?
 
2008-10-11 01:48:30 PM  
Because People in power are Stupid: Gazebo's rarely hurt people if they're not teased.

Or attacked. Don't attach gazebos.

/Can't even use the word in a campaign now because it'll set off a fifteen minute quote and reminiscing party.
 
2008-10-11 01:53:26 PM  
I vaguely remembered it, so I had to look up the Dread Gazebo.
 
2008-10-11 01:53:47 PM  
Sounds gruesome.
 
2008-10-11 01:57:56 PM  
*rolls 2 D4*

Funny succeeded.
 
2008-10-11 01:58:46 PM  
The Dread Gazebo has earned its place in the canon of gaming legend, along with Phil Foglio's Phil & Dixie strips and Gary Gygax's dice probability charts. So here it is, reprinted with permission (the exact words used were, "use it with my blessing, live long and prosper.")

The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo
by Richard Aronson [aronson[nospam-﹫-backwards]let­ar­r­e­is­*c­om]

In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson. Eric plays something like a computer. When he games, he methodically considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option. If given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior gamer. Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game. He was on some lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:


ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: [pause] It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: [pause] It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: [pause] I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow. [roll to hit] What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: [pause] Wasn't it wounded?
ED: OF COURSE NOT, ERIC! IT'S A GAZEBO!
ERIC: [whimper] But that was a +3 arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: [long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.] I run away.
ED: [thoroughly frustrated] It's too late. You've awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: [reaching for his dice] Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.

At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored a modicum of order by explaining to Eric what a gazebo is. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. It could have been worse; at least the gazebo wasn't on a grassy gnoll. Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo. A little vocabulary is a dangerous thing.

The above is Copyright © 1989 by Richard Aronson. Reprinted with permission. The author grants permission to reprint as long as all copyright notices remain with the text.

"Eric and the Gazebo" was written and copyrighted by me in 1986. It was based on an event at a role-playing game, but the addition of several jokes moves it out of journalism, or at least into Docuhumor. Some of the people at the game retold the event, each with their own spin, but I was the one who told it to Lee Gold, editor of the fanzine "Alarums and Excursions," who insisted I print it up for her. After reprinting in several amateur publications, it leapt to "The Mensa Bulletin." I then foolishly allowed a reader to reprint it on the internet (who knew from internet in 1989). For many years his was the only interent reprint which even mentioned that there was a copyright on it (thanks, James Chu). Eventually I became a professional game designer for Sierra On-Line and the late lamented "ImagiNation Network" and after having been accused of stealing my own story at a gaming convention I have spend several hours every year protecting my copyright, especially since I incorporated E&tG into a chapter of my as yet unpublished novel. "
Richard Aronson, Feb 15, 2000
 
2008-10-11 02:33:58 PM  
I waste it with my crossbow.
 
2008-10-11 02:48:29 PM  
FLOL.. all I remembered out of the whole thing was "I shoot it with my bow." "There is now an arrow sticking out of it."

NOW my gf will understand why I laugh so hard every time someone says "gazebo".
 
2008-10-11 02:49:21 PM  
I use my +5 electric weed trimmer.
 
2008-10-11 03:03:15 PM  
Knights of the Dinner Table had a whole issue dedicated to this story.

good times indeed.
 
2008-10-11 03:37:05 PM  
My gazebo is gone! (new window)
 
2008-10-11 04:37:31 PM  
I cast Magic Missile.
 
2008-10-11 04:38:01 PM  
Munchkin thread? :)
 
2008-10-11 04:39:24 PM  
i106.photobucket.com
 
2008-10-11 04:42:13 PM  
It is accompanied by 1d4 zephyrs.
 
2008-10-11 04:42:45 PM  
img406.imageshack.us

Wanted for questioning.
 
2008-10-11 04:43:23 PM  
The Gazebos was just trying to protect their Gazebo cubs.
 
2008-10-11 04:45:11 PM  
Lightning bolt it!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3955486939380985268
 
2008-10-11 04:46:17 PM  
Me and my friends have a habit of casting warp wood, flame sphere (to ignite it), fireball (to destroy it), stone to mud, rust, and similar on any objects which may potentially threaten us.

But they never suspected the gazebo.
 
2008-10-11 04:50:26 PM  
Old reference is old.
 
2008-10-11 04:52:11 PM  
Eclectic Hedonist: Lightning bolt it!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3955486939380985268


... WTF!? Seriously, I think it's slightly less creepier than some Vampire LARPers (new window).

/I know they're not the majority
 
2008-10-11 04:57:55 PM  
I've been waiting for a reason to post this ... Thank you !!!!

d.imagehost.org

//I have a Christian friend who after reading the PHP decided not to play the game due to above error...
 
2008-10-11 04:58:30 PM  
//before u all attack me..
//PHB.
 
2008-10-11 04:58:59 PM  
How many Gazebos do you she-males need?
 
2008-10-11 05:03:31 PM  
http://www.atrianglemorning.com/games//flash.php


Watch out for the manticore.
 
2008-10-11 05:03:33 PM  
As long as it wasn't an alzabo.
 
2008-10-11 05:06:55 PM  
Like global warming and Mars having lost its atmosphere, this is clearly the fault of man. Specifically, white man.
 
2008-10-11 05:08:02 PM  
Fabulous use of the reference, subby. Have a +1 from a liter. It's worth the paper it's printed on.

/I cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion...
//THAT'LL wake the gazebo up!
 
2008-10-11 05:09:36 PM  
Also, WTF? A 60kb 120x160 pixel gif (Orson Clapping) is too large to post now?

Boo to Fark.
 
2008-10-11 05:14:57 PM  
All I remember is the scene from "The Dead Zone" (movie version).

"That's a funny sounding word, isn't it? Gaaaa---ZEEEE--bo."
 
2008-10-11 05:17:01 PM  
FightDirector: Fabulous use of the reference, subby. Have a +1 from a liter. It's worth the paper it's printed on.

/I cast Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion...
//THAT'LL wake the gazebo up!


First slashie = win.
 
2008-10-11 05:17:02 PM  
RadioActiveLamb: Like global warming and Mars having lost its atmosphere, this is clearly the fault of man. Specifically, white man.

www.supercollage.com
 
2008-10-11 05:18:27 PM  
Holy crap I wanna play some Munchkin. It's been years.
 
2008-10-11 05:18:56 PM  
djtom37: "That's a funny sounding word, isn't it? Gaaaa---ZEEEE--bo."

LOVE that movie.

www.supercollage.com

the missiles are flying, hallelujah.
 
2008-10-11 05:23:28 PM  
trouzourt: I've been waiting for a reason to post this ... Thank you !!!!



//I have a Christian
retarded friend who after reading the PHP decided not to play the game due to above error...

FTFY


Also, are there any girls there? I wanna do 'em...
 
2008-10-11 05:24:33 PM  
okami36 Also, are there any girls there? I wanna do 'em...

You're ambushed by 8 ogres.
 
2008-10-11 05:25:58 PM  
"I attack the darkness!"
 
2008-10-11 05:27:48 PM  
I googled the headline, and now must give Subby a deflated liter +1.
 
2008-10-11 05:28:00 PM  
CygnusDarius: ... WTF!? Seriously, I think it's slightly less creepier than some Vampire LARPers (new window).

Dunno...I've seen some creepy Vampire LARPers in my day

/Normal LARPer in recovery
//still won't let the wife throw out the foam swords
 
2008-10-11 05:28:33 PM  
img361.imageshack.us
 
2008-10-11 05:29:17 PM  
[ominous voice]
Where were you on the day the market toppled and crashed?
[end ominous voice]
 
2008-10-11 05:30:13 PM  
IXI Jim IXI:
/Normal LARPer in recovery


Fail?
 
2008-10-11 05:32:00 PM  
Barakku: Fail?

What? I made my armor out of Pleather...not leather or chainmail.
 
2008-10-11 05:32:30 PM  
I knew it was you from the minute
You strolled into the gazebo like you'd never been gone
 
2008-10-11 05:33:23 PM  
Actual Farking: My gazebo is gone! (new window)

Came for My Gazebo... left satisfied. Thank you.

/Let that be a warning to bony old broads everywhere.
 
2008-10-11 05:33:53 PM  
You must face the Gazebo alone.
 
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