FARK.com: (3931501) Thieves steal $2k in sex toys. Store Owner: "They took all the Rabbits but they left the Seahorse, probably because they had enough butt plugs". Fake

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		Thieves steal $2k in sex toys. Store Owner: "They took all the Rabbits but they left the Seahorse, probably because they had enough butt plugs". Fake (ottawasun.com)		117
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7025 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Oct 2008 at 11:39 AM | Favorite | share:

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CastorPimp		2008-10-09 11:40:44 AM

sex toy thread!

CastorPimp		2008-10-09 11:41:53 AM

ace466		2008-10-09 11:42:26 AM

"They didn't even touch the German stuff. I don't get it," Cotie said while pointing out the smooth and speedy "German stuff" on a nearby shelf.

\You know who else didn't like the German stuff... oh wait

Tentacle		2008-10-09 11:42:27 AM

The headline was supposed to say "Fake Penis" at the end.

/failmitter

Ghastly		2008-10-09 11:43:32 AM

What a pain in the ass.

Five Tails of Fury		2008-10-09 11:44:04 AM

Damn, was just coming to submit this.

Last line of TFA: "You just have to swallow it," she said. I like her!

Goldstein		2008-10-09 11:44:06 AM

They still have "The Jazz Singer" in stock, right?

ISouldBeWorking		2008-10-09 11:45:02 AM

What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

The Painful One		2008-10-09 11:45:12 AM

"giggity giggity giggity! let's have sex!" (toys)

ReisFlynn		2008-10-09 11:45:34 AM

I suppose this is one way to deal with the embarrassment of being seen buying sex toys.

jerkobson		2008-10-09 11:45:35 AM

FTA

Cotie said she has insurance but she doesn't plan on filing a claim.

"You just have to swallow it," she said.

I approve of her business model.

GameraMan		2008-10-09 11:45:37 AM

The most fitting quote EVER from an article:

Cotie said she has insurance but she doesn't plan on filing a claim.

"You just have to swallow it," she said.

groininjury		2008-10-09 11:45:40 AM

Goldstein: They still have "The Jazz Singer" in stock, right?

that thing saved my ass

tyethedye		2008-10-09 11:45:56 AM

Faternity pledgers across the region now on high alert and tightened cheek.

Connector_connection		2008-10-09 11:46:03 AM

If dildos are made by plastic injection molding, I always though about how funny it would be to see them drop out of the machine onto a ramp and into a bin to be checked. Just a bunch of fake dicks flopping around.

/not gay
//But I have the mentality of a 12 year old
///HAHA SOMEONE FARTED!

GameraMan		2008-10-09 11:46:24 AM

Almost a triplesimulpost. Well done.

ReisFlynn		2008-10-09 11:46:34 AM

ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

It's a strap-on dildo for the face.

rathoth		2008-10-09 11:46:39 AM

ace466: "They didn't even touch the German stuff. I don't get it," Cotie said while pointing out the smooth and speedy "German stuff" on a nearby shelf.

\You know who else didn't like the German stuff... oh wait

He preferred the Polish toys.
Not like the Polish women use them, the vibrators chip their teeth.

Robert Poopsmith		2008-10-09 11:47:13 AM

NSFW (new window)

Guelph35		2008-10-09 11:47:19 AM

FTFA: "You just have to swallow it," she said.

Sex store lady, Wife. Wife, Sex store lady.
Looks like you two have something to discuss.

jonny_ill		2008-10-09 11:47:35 AM

"You just have to swallow it," she said.

Classic.

GameraMan		2008-10-09 11:47:36 AM

Ghastly: What a pain in the ass.

They should have stolen the lube, too. Must have been German. (the lube that is)

groininjury		2008-10-09 11:48:00 AM

ReisFlynn: ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

It's a strap-on dildo for the face.

don't get the velco ones, they're badly stitched

jonny_ill		2008-10-09 11:48:10 AM

A little slow on the draw this morning I am.

SwingAwayMarell		2008-10-09 11:48:21 AM

ReisFlynn: ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

It's a strap-on dildo for the face.

Aren't they all for the face?

jonny_ill		2008-10-09 11:48:50 AM

ReisFlynn		2008-10-09 11:49:26 AM

groininjury: ReisFlynn: ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

It's a strap-on dildo for the face.

don't get the velco ones, they're badly stitched

If I ever want to get one in the first place, I'll keep that in mind.

And look at you with a cocked eye and a raised eyebrow from now on.

cookiecatter		2008-10-09 11:51:18 AM

German sex stuff really is superior. Their lube beats American-made lubes hands-on.

SnoopFrog		2008-10-09 11:51:24 AM

You know the Germans always make good stuff.

www.thedirtytrickscampaign.com

MadTheologian		2008-10-09 11:52:40 AM

Be on the lookout for anybody walking bowlegged and a satisfied look on their face!

jerkobson		2008-10-09 11:53:10 AM

"They didn't even touch the German stuff. I don't get it," Cotie said

obviously they were bigger fan of poles.

Elminst		2008-10-09 11:53:14 AM

ReisFlynn: groininjury: ReisFlynn: ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

It's a strap-on dildo for the face.

don't get the velco ones, they're badly stitched

If I ever want to get one in the first place, I'll keep that in mind.

And look at you with a cocked eye and a raised eyebrow from now on.

WEll he obviously has a groin injury, so he probably needs a face-dildo.

groininjury		2008-10-09 11:54:09 AM

ReisFlynn

And look at you with a cocked eye...

hehe

/hehe

cookiecatter		2008-10-09 11:54:17 AM

SnoopFrog: You know the Germans always make good stuff.

Bahaha that commercial cracks me up. That guy has the weirdest face... I think he's tanning bed buddies with Chad from those cell phone commercials.

SwingAwayMarell		2008-10-09 11:54:17 AM

This is all a boy like me needs to get a girl off. Tried. True.

vort3xxx		2008-10-09 11:55:52 AM

I think the thieves were smart for lack of a better word. They picked items that were mass produced and that they could re-sell on ebay without much fuss. If they stole one of a kind items like hand blown glass, then then they would increase their risk of getting caught. iVibe Rabbits go for 60-105 dollars depending on the model, making them an ideal item to resell on the black market.

vort3xxx		2008-10-09 11:57:41 AM

cookiecatter: German sex stuff really is superior. Their lube beats American-made lubes hands-on.

Try "Boy Butter" churn style oil based (the yellow one). It will have you proudly buying American again.

Sarcastica75		2008-10-09 11:58:00 AM

/approves.

Ghastly		2008-10-09 11:58:49 AM

SwingAwayMarell: This is all a boy like me needs to get a girl off. Tried. True.

A five iron? What are you a freak? That shot clearly calls for a 7.

/uses the pitching wedge because he spends most of his time in the trap.

EwokHunter		2008-10-09 11:59:13 AM

Connector_connection: If dildos are made by plastic injection molding, I always though about how funny it would be to see them drop out of the machine onto a ramp and into a bin to be checked. Just a bunch of fake dicks flopping around.

/not gay
//But I have the mentality of a 12 year old
///HAHA SOMEONE FARTED!

wow, that puts a funny image in my head and now I REALLY want to see how they're made.

hee hee floppy dildos on a conveyor belt.

The Painful One		2008-10-09 12:00:41 PM

SwingawayMarell,

pics or it didn't happen.

Ghastly		2008-10-09 12:01:16 PM

jerkobson: FTA

Cotie said she has insurance but she doesn't plan on filing a claim.

"You just have to swallow it," she said.

I approve of her business model.

With this woman's attitude and style this thief has given her the best advertising $2000 could buy. If I lived in Ottawa I'd go there right now and buy a vibrating buttplug.

studebaker hoch		2008-10-09 12:01:43 PM

SwingAwayMarell

This is all a boy like me needs to get a girl off. Tried. True.

A stuffed toy, a gold club, and a pound of crystal meth would get *anybody* off.

IdBeCrazyIf		2008-10-09 12:02:05 PM

EwokHunter: wow, that puts a funny image in my head and now I REALLY want to see how they're made.

"Today on.. How Its Made"
"Plastic Tarps"
"Steel Tools"
"Dildos"

RminusQ		2008-10-09 12:02:35 PM

Robert Poopsmith: NSFW (new window)

I'm petrified, but curious: What the hell was the sentence cutoff in that image that ended with Phyllis Schlafly? 'Cause she's a grade-A woman-hater, and I think being in the same room as a dildo would make her freak out, let alone a 26-foot long one.

CygnusDarius		2008-10-09 12:04:12 PM

ISouldBeWorking: What is a "chin-strapped Accommodator". I just NEED to know!

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

cookiecatter		2008-10-09 12:04:21 PM

vort3xxx: cookiecatter: German sex stuff really is superior. Their lube beats American-made lubes hands-on.

Try "Boy Butter" churn style oil based (the yellow one). It will have you proudly buying American again.

Is it compatible with latex condoms? My current fav is Eros Bodyglide.